Guilty Until Proven Innocent
by gothraven89
Summary: WARNING non-con. Something horrible happens to Jim and it would be expected that his First officer along with the rest of his crew would be there for him. So much for expectations.Hurt!Kirk guilty Spock&Crew. K/S please review and no flames please.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

Guilty Until Proved Innocent

.

**Chapter 1**

It wouldn't come off.

No matter how hot he had set the shower, no matter how hard he scrubbed, no matter how many showers he took, Jim Kirk could not feel the cleansing effects a sonic shower usually entailed. He couldn't feel clean of what had happened, he couldn't feel much of anything at the moment. And on top of that he didn't think he ever would feel truly clean again. Sure the stains of his own blood and other, more nasty bodily fluids not his own had long since dissolved from his skin. But, not before having done their part in shattering their unfortunate bearer's world to pieces.

Taking in a rattling breath the young man turned off the sonic shower and stepped out. He dried himself off with towels, being careful of all the tender bruises and fresh lacerations that littered his body. He carefully got redressed his standard Starfleet sleeping attire and then slowly walked out of bathroom.

He moved as though he were nothing more than a reanimated corpse. In a way this was accurate, though he was not yet a corpse he did feel as though his soul had died in slow, screaming agony tonight.

As he made his way out of the bathroom Jim limped lightly and gritted his teeth.

The very smallest step sent spikes of sharp pain lancing through his entire being. As he limped into his bedroom Jim Kirk came to a slow halt and looked about both this room and what he could see of the rest of his quarters from the entrance door. All of his belongings were still there, nothing taken. Everything seemed to be in order for a single occupant residing in these quarters.

That was the very problem.

Up until this very night for nearly a year there had been more belongings, these quarters had held not one but two occupants. That had all changed on this night in a matter of minutes. The other occupant of these quarters had packed up all of his belongings and departed curtly, leaving only the zombie-like young man to fill the space.

Exhaling shakily Jim hobbled his way over to the bio-bed that once held two and with pain-staking slowness and effort, climbed in under the covers. Though he now lay in bed Jim knew that sleep would not come for quite some time, if at all.

The horrors of what he had suffered at the hands of one of the Antarian Ambassadors and the devastation of that entire event's aftermath would definitely not grant sleep easy access.

Jim Kirk laid there on his side, staring at the wall with glazed blue eyes, only breathing and blinking.

For what seemed an eternity he just laid there and breathed.

Then the young man's lower lips began to tremble and his eyes grew shiny with fast welling tears. Pale and shaking hands slowly reached over to the other pillow that lay beside the one his head was resting on. Jim reverently pulled the pillow to him, all but burying his face into it and breathing in deep. The scent of the one whom he loved with all his now broken heart lingered in the pillow and filled his nostril. It was the final blow to the foundations that had already been shot to Hell.

First there was a soft mewling sound, like that of a newborn kitten. But after it the sound became louder and more pain. After another second it began a jagged, shattered howl, like the death knell of a wounded animal. Jim Kirk buried his face into the pillow that still smelled of his lover and screamed with all the might his battered body could muster. As he wailed into the pillow muffling the sound, the young man's entire body began to shake with the force of his sobs. Tears gushed from his pale blue eyes as he finally shattered to peaces like his whole world had.

After several long minutes of sobbing uncontrollably Jim finally regained enough of composure for a single moment of coherency. And in that one moment he whispered out a single word, a single name. The name of the one who had left him without even bothering to understand just what kind of state the human was in. The one who had taken one look at him and drawn his own conclusions of the completely wrong and worst kind. The one who had terminated their nearly ten month relationship, packed his things up from here and gotten the hell of out dodge. The one who's comfort Jim yearned for now but knew he would not have.

" Spock."

Then with another soft, pained moan Jim Kirk dissolved back into the tears of despair and devastation where he lay in his bed.

Alone. More or less, abandoned.

He cried until there were no more tears left in him and all his body could do was heave weakly with each sob that wracked it. It was in this state that he drifted off into a mercifully dreamless sleep.

There was the age old addage that people believed that things would be better tomorrow, that with a new morning things would be alright.

Jim Kirk knew different, Jim Kirk knew better.

Things would only get worse.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 2**

.

When morning came Jim awoke with a start and looked about the room. Whatever minuscule hopes that had stirred inside his battered heart that everything that had happened last night had all just been some horrible nightmare quickly died with the dull ache of his abused body.

This was no nightmare, this was his reality.

Last night one of the Antarian Ambassadors they had been in the process of reaching a trade agreement with for some much needed vaccines had probably spiked his drink at the dinner party they had been invited to. After that the Antarian had easily dragged him off in his barely lucid state to one of the empty conference rooms and...

Jim recoiled away from the memory of his brutal violation at that evil bastard's hand. The Enterprise had been docked on the space station they had been holding all the important meetings with the Antarian government. He had been able to avoid nearly everyone and there was no need for a transport. He had all but dragged himself back to the ship and to his quarters where he thought he would've been able to collapse into Spock's arms and tell his horrifying tale to his long term companion.

Only that did not happen. Once he had gotten to their shared quarters Spock had froze where he stood and eyed him blankly. Then without saying so much as a syllable the Vulcan had started packing up all of his things and left their-his quarters. Jim hadn't even gotten a single word of explanation in, Spock had taken in his appearance, and most undoubtedly caught the stench of that Antarian son of a bitch that had lingered on the human.

Spock had made his own logical assumptions and abruptly cut off all ties. Jim realized that the Vulcan had left because he believed that Jim had been the one who had wished to terminate their relationship. Monogamy was something a Vulcan held in great value and Spock had assumed that Jim had sought out the arms of another as a way of ending things with them.

And apparently it had worked.

Now it was the morning after, Jim was alone and in a moderate amount of pain, and his duty shift was gonna start soon.

With all of this in mind Jim forced himself to move, getting out of bed and heading into the bathroom to get ready for the new day of work ahead. Inside he wished the Antarian had not let him leave the storage closet where the nightmare had took place alive. Maybe then Spock would've believed his innocence.

Jim did his best to quash all of his thoughts and memories to the back of his mind.

He couldn't be Jim the victim who was apparently 'guilty' in every way in his lover's eyes for much longer.

He was James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of this ship, the USS Enterprise damn it. He had a job to do and he sure as Hell was gonna do it. And he could take some comfort in knowing that after just one more day of talks the trade agreement for the vaccines would be made and he could leave the whole Antari system behind at warp speed.

With that in mind Captain Kirk go himself ready, showering, shaving, and getting dressed into his Starfleet uniform. With a final check in the mirror to make sure that his bruises were covered and that he appeared like himself, Captain Kirk headed out of his quarters and off to the Main Bridge.

On the Turbo-lift right to the Bridge itself Jim felt waves of panic threaten to drown him. But he being who he was, Jim quashed down the feelings of fear that bordered on full blown terror and but on a brave face on the inside and his usual confident bravado on the outside. But he simply couldn't pull of the usual swagger as the door slid open with a small hiss, but he managed not to limp either as he stepped onto the Bridge.

He immediately noticed the frigid atmosphere that filled the large room the moment he arrived.

Uhura gave him a seething glare from her station that had an underlying look of angry disgust. Sulu and Chekov both stiffened uncomfortably. Sulu shared a looked similar to Uhura's while Chekov just looked uncomfortable, sad even. Scotty wouldn't meet his gaze, keeping them glued on his screen with his mouth a thin unhappy line. Where he stood by the command chair Bones looked at him with barely veiled disappointment and at the far end of the bridge Spock sat at his station typing away at the console with his shoulder and back held even more rigid than normal. And as he took a step closer to the command chair Captain Kirk caught sight of his First Officer's hands clenching momentarily into fists before they went back to work.

" Good morning everyone." Said Jim, sounding outwardly alright while inwardly screaming in anguish.

Because it was quite clear to the young man that his now former lover was not the only one who thought him guilty.

It seemed now that his entire senior staff thought just the same, all in the span of a few hours they had found out about Spock moving out of their quarters and apparently they believed that Jim was to blame for that. He must have done something awful.

His morning greeting seemed to have an adverse effect on everyone who heard.

The heat of Uhura's fiery glare increased, Sulu and Chekov stiffened further, Scotty actually got up from his station on the bridge with a mumbled explanation that he was heading to engineering before he stepped into the Turbo-lift and left, Bones stared at him and then shook his head and averted his his gaze elsewhere. Spock actually stopped working and seemed to be breathing in deep to control himself.

Kirk used every ounce of his will not to turn around and flee, instead he strengthened his resolve and made his way over to the Captain's chair. He sank down onto it with only the barest of winces and then spoke.

" Well Mr. Sulu, what's on our agenda today?" Asked Jim neutrally.

At first there was only silence and then Sulu cleared his throat and stiffly turned in his chair to face the captain as he spoke.

" Sir, you have a few more meetings with the Antarian's, one starting in an hour or so and then it will be off to the Colneck system to get the vaccines delivered to Starfleet outpost 39." He said flatly.

" Thank you Mr. Sulu." Said Jim with equal flatness. His eyes went to Chekov who averted his gaze away and flushed lightly.

With a small, humorless smirk Jim taped his hands onto the armrests and then stood.

" Well then, I guess I'll be getting ready for the meetings. See you all in a bit." Said Jim with fake cheer before he stepped away from the command chair and headed for the turbo-lift.

As he walked into the lift he could feel several sets of eyes boring holes into the back of his head, judging him as an arrogant and heartless freak not fit to be called a human being.

And condemning him for it.

But as the door slid shut and the lift headed upwards Captain Kirk simply became just Jim Kirk again for only a small moment, allowing his face to crumble and his back to hunch as a small sob escaped him. His breath hitched several times as well but no tears escaped his eye, he somehow kept those from spilling. If even one escaped he was pretty sure that he would've collapsed onto the floor and screamed to any and all deities that were known to existence and ask 'Why?'

But then he felt the turbo-lift slowing down and the urge faded. He went back to being the brash and debonair, carefree Captain Kirk as he stepped out of the lift and headed to his quarters to get ready for the meetings, which called for the formal dress uniform.

Thirty minutes later he was being paged on the com by one of the Yeoman's informing him that the rest of the senior staff had already gone off ahead of him and were on their way to the Star base meeting areas. It was another blow from his crew, his closest colleagues did not even wait for him to join them. They left the ship without him. Swallowing down the bitter wave of anguish and anger that bubbled up inside of him Jim finished getting ready and headed out to trail after the long cold footsteps of his senior staff.

Meanwhile, in one of the sub-surveillance rooms near the main-control bridge of the Star base a young Lieutenant by the name of Mirna Bansali was sitting at her desk going over footage from the previous nights. She was in charge looking over all the footage captured by the hidden security cameras that were installed in all of the conference rooms.

So far, all she had been seeing for the last three hours were rooms filling and emptying with people.

Then she got to the footage from conference room 13 on the deck where the Enterprise was docked.

For most of the day this room was closed off due to maintenance. But then at roughly 10:30 PM there was a startling development. With her interest peaked as to what this was, Lt. Bansali leaned in close and watched as the door to the conference room open to reveal one of the visiting Antarian Ambassadors dragging someone into the room. As she looked closely, the young woman's eyes knitted together in confusion and then the drew apart in recognition of who the other person was.

" Captain Kirk?" She whispered to herself. Who is Starfleet didn't know who Captain James Tiberius Kirk was.

As the footage continued to play Lt. Bansali felt her confusion turn to full gut wrenching horror and shock at what she now was now witnessing unfold in the conference room between the Antarian and the human Starfleet Captain. unable to tear her eyes away from the hellish event that had been unknowingly captured on record, Lt. Bansali could only whisper in anguished disbelief.

" Oh my God, no."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 3  
**

.

Captain James T. Kirk to a long sip from the glass of ale he had just received from the bartender. He leaned against the counter as he drank, the liquid making his suddenly parched feeling throat. It was strange, ever since he had arrived at the small cocktail party that was being held now that negotiations were over, he'd been feeling odd. Even given the current state his body was in, he now also felt this strange tickle at the back of his throat and his ear had begun to ring on and off over these last few minutes. He just felt like he was being dragged into a cotton thick haze. He did his best to ignore the feeling and focus on the his surroundings. Though he had managed to get through the remaining talks with the Antarians he felt uneasy and rightly so for the one who had attacked him the night before was not present for the remaining meeting and was no where to be seen.

This had Jim feeling the gnawing edge of terror in the pit of his stomach.

He was afraid that the Antarian had fled back to the home planet, and yet he was also afraid that the satanic being was still on board the Star base, lurking in the shadows just waiting to pick him off again.

Realizing this, Jim looked down at the glass of ale he had just taken a sip from and felt another sharp twinge of fear in his gut. Not wanting to take another chance, Jim handed the glass off to a passing waitress and instead focused on walking about the receptions hall.

As he had expected, his senior staff was avoiding him, even Bones. They were all scattered about mingling with the delegates from the Antari system, leaving Jim all by himself. They were all so close and yet so far.

He could see where they all were, especially Spock.

His First Officer was in deep conversation with one of the Antarian elders. That Antarian had been so nice and thoughtful. Was he even aware of the barbaric deeds one of his own had inflicted on the Captain of Starfleet's Flagship.

Probably not. Ignorance was bliss it would seem, a bliss that Jim Kirk had been forcibly educated in not being at all true last night.

The young Captain gritted his teeth and bore it, the pain, the shame, the despair, the desolation, all with a charming smile and a facade of everything being right in his world when said world was not but a pile of ruin. As he walked about doing his best to avoid his crew but staying close by in an invisible veil of solitude imposed on him by the whole horrifying situation he found himself in.

From across the room Spock turned a moment from the conversation he had been having to survey the room. Everyone was mingling with one another, all save for one blond haired, pale blue eyed individual. Spock felt a wave of anger and hurt rise up inside of him despite his best efforts to staunch the flow of illogical emotions. But despite how he was feeling on the inside, Spock couldn't help but notice how unhealthily pale the Captain and grown, the beginnings of bags under his eyes, and the barely concealed look of fear that flitted across his handsome face every so often. Spock could see that the young human was on alert about something.

Perhaps he was nervous because the individual with whom he had had the entanglements that had led to the termination of his relationship with Spock was here in this very room.

When this thought entered Spock's mind, another wave of anger stronger than the first rose up inside Spock, along with a sense of deep betrayal. With his eye hardening at the sight of Jim Kirk, Spock turned away and went back into conversation with A'tal, the Antarian delegation's senior Ambassador.

Meanwhile back in the surveillance room...

Lt. Mirna Bansali heaved horribly into the waste bin she had managed to scramble to just as her last meal came violently back up and out. She spit a few times and then gasped as she finally stopped retching with everything her body had in it. With a small gasp that ended in a soft sob the young woman climbed to her feet and quickly regained her composure. Though what she had just finished seeing would've broken even the strongest of men, she had a job to do and a Captain who needed justice to be done on his behalf. Pausing to rinse out her mouth with some water from the bathroom, Bansali then sprung into immediate action.

" Computer, please give me the location of Captain James T. Kirk!" She ordered.

" Captain James T. Kirk is on board the station and attending a social function in the main reception hall." Answered the neutral female voice.

" Damn it, how am I gonna get in their it's supposed to be Enterprise senior personnel and Delegates only?" She asked herself.

She slammed her fist against the table top she was leaning over as she mulled over just what the hell she was gonna do about this.

Should she go to her superiors and report this? Should she force her way into the party and confront the Antarian delegation? What about her post, she was also in charge of watching who came and went about a good sized area of the base? What if the monster that did what she had seen to Kirk was still on board? What if he tried to make a run for it?

Then an idea hit her and she hurried to speak.

" Computer, is the USS Enterprise accessible?" She asked.

" Affirmative, the USS Enterprise is currently accessible with non-senior personnel all on board and on duty." Answered the computer.

" Great, divide and conquer it is then." Said Lt. Bansali softly as she set to work, pressing buttons furiously, downloading the revolting footage into a portable hand-held device. Once that was done the Lieutenant snatched up the devise and turned it on to make sure she had gotten it all, clenching her jaw in fury the young woman took a few moments to memorize the monster's face before she bolted about the room grabbing up her communicator and a phazer. Then she sprinted out of the video feed room and started running as fast as she could with one destination in mind.

The USS Enterprise.

Back at the cocktail party things were still in a good atmosphere. People were still mingling and enjoying themselves, all that is except for a certain Star ship captain. Jim sat by himself in a quiet corner, away from the voices of people who weren't him talking with each other, those who were absolutely fine. Sitting alone didn't really help him feel much better. In fact he was feeling worse than he had this morning. The strange feeling at the back of his throat had turned into a full on clawing sensation and his dress uniform was starting to feel itchy and hot against his skin. Along with that, his vision was starting to go in and out of focus every now and then. And to round things out, the injuries he had sustained from the night before were beginning to throb in time with his heartbeat.

Oh yes something was definitely wrong with him. His first thought was to seek out Bones but he quickly quashed it down. Bones, like the rest of his senior staff was staying as far away from him as possible. They obviously likened him to some kind of infectious disease. And why not, Kirk himself really didn't want to be himself at the moment. Coughing lightly and clearing his through Jim flagged down a passing waiter and asked for some water. The waiter returned with a glass of the clear liquid with some ice in it as well.

" Thanks." He said softly as he took the offered glass.

" Of course sir." Said the Waiter with a kind smile, which dimmed as he took in the young Captain's less them healthy appearance.

" May I get you anything else?" He asked.

" Nah, I'm good thank you though." Said Jim with a wane smile as he greedily drank the old water.

With a lingering look of concern the waiter left the Captain to his solitude amidst the crowd. Then after a few moment Captain Kirk quietly slipped away from the partly through a back entrance. He wanted full solitude, maybe then his head would stop swimming like it was on an acid trip.

Meanwhile...

Outside of the reception hall very close to the dock where the USS Enterprise was securely anchored, one of the turbo-lifts opened with a soft hiss and a blur of red rushed out before the door was even fully open. Thanking the stars for joining the track team back at the Academy Lt. Bansali ran down the long corridor that led to the spot where the star ship was joined to the star base. She all but left tread marks on the floor as she skidded to a half and pressed the button on the panel to get the hatch door open. It wouldn't move fast enough in Bansali's opinion as he bound through once the opening was big enough.

After that she was making fast work of the hallway with it in mind to get to the main bridge and find somebody, anybody be it a Commander or and ensign, even a yeoman, just somebody who could get through security and get the device and the horrifying truth it held within it to anyone from the Enterprises senior staff.

Bansali had just turned a corner in the corridor when the turbo lift that was within the wall suddenly opened and an unsuspecting curly hair individual stepped out, right into the running lieutenant's path.

" Ow!" Yelled Bansali while the young man she had plow right into shouted in a foreign language.

Bansali quickly recovered and took in the sight of the more or less boy she had collided with.

Curly hair and big green eyes.

" Hey you, state your name and rank for me this instant." Ordered Bansali.

" Vhy, are you going to have me reported, you are ze one who plowed intu me." Said the young man indignantly.

" I'm not going to report you but time is of the essence so please answer me." Said Bansali firmly.

" I am Pavel Chekov, I hold ze rank of Enseen." Answered Chekov.

" Well then Ensign Chekove, I am Lieutenant Mirna Bansali. Now that we have been properly introduced I have something of the utmost importance that needs to be done and fast. Come with me." Said Bansali before she seized Chekov by his wrist and proceeded to run back the way she came with the young man scrambling to keep up.

" Vhat do you mean, vhat iz going on here?" Asked Chekov, noticing for the first time how strong and agile this mysterious woman was.

The two of then headed back out of the hatch and into the Star base before Bansali finally stopped to catch her breath and answer her young and still clueless partner.

" Listen to me Chekov, I have found out about a most horrifying event that occured here on this Star Base last night, right under our noses. Kirk is your Captain yes?" She asked him, all the while squeezing his shoulders to the point of pain.

" Y-Yes ma'am. Cepten Kirk iz my cepten." Answered Chekov truthfully.

" Well then Ensign I say this to you know, you Captain's life is in grave danger and the proof is here in this recorder." Said Bansali as he held up the device.

" Vhat happened?" Asked Chekov feeling concern for Kirk even though he had sided with Spock and the others.

" Oh God." Whispered Bansali before she reigned in her emotions and thought about the objective.

" Chekov, I need you to get this to any one of your commanding officers, anyone who is a member of the Senior staff. Hell give this to the Captain if you find him. Now what I am about to say is gonna be hard for you to hear but I will not sugar coat it." Said Bansali as she gazed at Chekov with blazing amber eyes.

Chekov mutely nodded and waited to hear what it was.

" On that recorder is security footage from last night, from one of the conference rooms. It is footage of one of the Antarian Ambassadors forcing himself on Captain Kirk. Do you understand?" Said Bansali finally.

She watched as the boy's eyes grew wide in horror and disbelief as he began to shaking his head hard.

" No, no, no, no, no." He began to say before he trailed off into his mother language.

" HEY, SNAP OUT OF IT AND YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT!" Screamed Bansali before she quieted down and hauled Chekov up by the front of his uniform and continued.

" One Antari bastard repeatedly raped Captain Kirk and though I am amazed that no one on board seems to have noticed the issue at hand is that there is a criminal on the loose and I intend to catch and bring him to justice. Do you understand?" Growled Bansali.

" Yes ma'am." Said Chekov shakily.

" Then Mr. Chekov I suggest you do as I have ordered of you and get this device to one of your commanding officer, inform them and everyone else of the situation and make sure that Captain Kirk gets medical treatment because I know full well that he must had suffered grave injuries from the assault. NOW MOVE!" Roared Bansali before she shoved Chekov a little ways down the corridor.

Chekov stumbled but recovered and held the device in a white knuckled grip as he turned to the red haired Lieutenant and spoke.

" Vhat about you ma'am, vhat are you going to do?" He asked.

" I'm gonna alert the entire base that there is a danger on board and to go into full lockdown, if that scaly raping son of a bitch is still on this base we are not gonna let him get away with what he had done, now go quickly!" Shouted Bansali.

Chekov nodded and then scampered away as fast as his legs could carry him.

Bansali watched him disappear down the corridor and prayed that he would be able to get through somehow. Then she focused on her own task and pulled out her communicator to relay the watered down version of the situation to those in command of the base. She informed them to lock down the place as discreetly as possible and start scanning for Antarian life signs were there should not be, for most of the Antarian Delegates were at the social gathering, all but a few would be elsewhere on the base.

Chekov ran and ran till he finally reached one of the Turbo-lifts. The young ensign push the button hard and couldn't stand still as he waited for the door to open. The mysterious Lieutenant's words of revelation were still crashing around inside the young man's head, it left him reeling and afraid.

For his Captain, Jim Kirk.

The beginnings of despair and guilt were just starting to tingle through him when Chekov shoved the feelings aside, he had orders to follow. Thankfully the lift door finally opened and he scrambled inside. Once the door shut behind him Chekov pressed the button for the deck where the main reception hall was located. It was going to be a bit of a lengthy ride up. Chekov breathed in deep and tried to remain calm while also willing the lift to go faster. Then he remembered the device he held in his hands. Swallowing thickly and with trembling fingers Chekov pressed the button the device that would turn it on.

There was a small beep and a flicker on the screen before the moving image came into view.

The moment the young man's eyes fell on the scene that was playing out. Chekov gasped and wrenched his eyes away. Recoiling and feeling the urge to vomit. With a small yell Chekov turned the damned device off and screwed his eyes shut as he felt back against the lift wall.

With a rattling breath and using all he had not to fall to pieces at the few second he had allowed himself to see Chekov whisper to words in Russian.

" Bozhe Moy."( Oh God.)

Then after several more agonizingly long moments the lift finally came to a smooth stop and the door opened. Regaining some of his composure Chekove bolted out of the lift and went barreling towards the doors to the reception hall. As expected security guards pounded on his before he could get to the doors. They were in the process of pulling him away when Chekov used his strong vocal capability.

" MEESTER SPOCK! MEESTER SPOCK! MEESTER SPOCK!" He yelled.

Sure enough his racket got the attention of the one being called.

Commander Spock stepped out of the hall and into the hallway looking impassive as ever where he stood and spoke.

" Yes Ensign Chekov?" He asked.

Chekov shrugged off the restraining hands of the guards and bound forward looking up at the taller Vulcan with pleading eyes.

" Meester Spock, ze cepten, vhere iz he?" Asked the Ensign.

" He is propably inside, hidden away in one of the corners of the hall." Answered Spock simply, though on the inside he really didn't know and really didn't care, really.

" Pleaze Meester Spock, ve must find him!" Urged Chekov.

" For what reason Mr. Chekov?" Asked Spock with the mildest hints of annoyance tinting his words.

" Something horrible happened to him last night, absolutely horrible!" Cried Chekov as his eyes welled with tears.

" What do you mean Ensign." Asked Spock as he took a step forward towards the distressed young man.

" Lieutenant...Ze Ceptain... Antarian... forced..."

Disjointed words were all he got as Chekov began to break.

" Get a hold of yourself Ensign and speck clearly. That is a direct order." Said Spcok sternly.

" Ve must find ze Cepten. He needs help." Said Chekov tearfully before he held out the device to the Vulcan.

Spock took the device and fluidly turned it on.

Chekov watched tearfully as the Vulcan actually gasped and his mouth fell open in clear shock. Then a look that could only be described as blood thirsty rage came over Spock's face. Chekov felt terror well up inside him regardless as dark almost black eyes gazed at him with fiery, murderous promise. Even though it was not directed at him at all, Chekov felt afraid.

Then without a single word Spock seized the young Russian by his shoulder and all but yanked him off his feet as he strode back into the reception hall.

They were met with the concerned and questioning gazes of all in the room, especially those of the Enterprise's senior staff.

" Spock, what's going on?" Asked Bones.

" Chekov, please explain the situation to all of us, in full detail." Growled Spock, handing Chekov the recording device while his eyes were rapidly searching the crowd for the one face he had mere hours ago vowed he never wanted to see.

With a rattling breath Chekov steadied his nerves and opened his mouth to speak.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 4  
**

.

The words were just about to leave Chekov's mouth when a firm and solid hand gripped him by the shoulders suddenly, silencing him. All eyes turned to see Spock, still with a look of barely veiled rage in his face but his eyes just a tiny bit calmer as he spoke.

" Ensign, I believe it would be better if you did not blurt out your revelations to everyone in this reception hall." Said Spock flatly.

" Let us all go outside." He added.

Chekov nodded and swallowed with some difficulty as his emotions were in chaos. He, Bones, Uhura, Scotty, and Sulu all began to follow Spock out of the reception hall when the Vulcan pause and turned to them.

" All of you will go ahead, I will join you in a moment." He said curtly before he pulled away from the group and walked off into the crowd.

The other Starfleet officers all nodded and headed out into the hallway where they could have some more privacy afforded to them. Spock cut through the crowd like a shark would through water and made a b-line for the Antarian delegates who were all standing together by one of the windows. Using his sharp observation skills Spock quickly ascertained that the Antarian who had assaulted Jim was not among them. Unfortunately. Spock felt a small irrational spike of disappointment at this but quickly quashed it down and focused on his intended objective.

" Ambassador A'tal." He called as he came to a stop a few feet away from the group of delegates.

The Ambassador who Spock had called came forward and stood before the Vulcan. Antarians were humanoid save for the scales that covered their bodies giving them a greenish blue color. A'tal was and elder therefore his scales had bleached to a soft creamy tan and his hair was completely white. He was an old one, but he stood tall and firm and commanded respect from all. He gazed at the blank faced Vulcan and spoke.

" Yes Commander Spock, how may I be of assistance?" He asked, feeling most confused like everyone else in the Hall about the commotion that was surrounding the party from the Enterprise.

" Ambassador there has been a very disturbing development regarding one of the members of your delegation. I must speak with you and you alone, please come with me sir." Said Spock flatly.

Still feeling confused and now concerned because this involved one of the members of his party, A'tal mutely nodded first to Spock and then glanced over his shoulder to the other members of his group and nodded to them silently saying that it was alright and that he was going with the Vulcan. Spock wordlessly turned and strode away back towards the main doors of the reception hall with A'tal following close behind him. The two men walked out into the hallway where the senior crew members of the Enterprise were all huddled around Ensign Chekov. Spock and A'tal made their way over to the group, all eyes were on Chekov as Spock spoke.

" Ensign Chekov, explain the situation, leave no detail out." He ordered.

Chekov had calmed down somewhat now but was still visibly shaken and upset as he obeyed his superior officer.

" Vell, I vas on ze Enterprise, I had jest gottin off ze turbo-lift vhen zis lady ran intu me. She asked me who I vas and zen said her name vas Lieutenant Meerna Bansali. She dragged me off of ze Enterpise and intu ze base. She told me that something horrible had happened to Cepten Kirk last night and that ze proof vas on this reecorder. She told me to get zis to anyone from ze Senior Staff as fast az I could. She said she was going to look for the monster herself. Then I came here and yelled for Meester Spock." Said Chekov softly as he held the device out to Dr. McCoy.

Feeling dread beginning to creep into his gut, Bones took the device from the young man and pressed the button to play the footage, Uhura, Scotty, and Sulu all huddled around the doctor so that they too could see what the device had to show. A few second later they were all gasping and crying out, recoiling violently from their eyes had just beheld.

" Oh fuck no." Hissed Bones as the device slipped out of his shock-numbed fingers and clattered to the floor.

Uhura burst into tears and cried out to God, Sulu looked ready to join her where he stood, and Scotty just stood their paler than a sheet with a dazed look on his face.

Dr. McCoy looked like he was about to collapse while Chekov just stood with silent tears running down his face.

Spock reigned in his own emotions and sprung into action, he quickly stepped over and snatched the device up from the floor and then turned eyes black with cold fury onto A'tal. For a brief moment A'tal felt cold terror seize his entire being, but he quickly battled it down and focused on the Vulcan as he held up the device and spoke.

" Ambassador, last night one of the delegates from your party sexually assaulted Captain Kirk. The evidence is undeniable." Said Spock as he froze the the footage on the sickeningly glee filled face of the Antarian monster just before the heinous acts he had committed on James Kirk.

A'tal's eyes went wide in horrified shock as both Spock's words and the face on the small device's screen hit him without mercy.

" Who is this individual?" Asked Spock slowly, his voice low and dangerous as he all but loomed over the senior Antarian Ambassador.

A'tal looked from the stone-faced Vulcan to the small screen and the back again to Spock. Spock and the rest of the Enterprise crew who were standing in the hallway watched as the elder Antarian's face slowly morphed into an expression of rage that nearly matched the rage that filled Spock's coal black eyes. Without any hesitation the Antarian spoke.

" His name is It'vek and I will gladly help you hunt him down." Growled A'tal.

Spock nodded mutely to the senior Delegate who was clearly sickened and furious beyond words at what this It'vek had done.

Spock turned sharply to face the rest of the Enterprise party.

They were all still reeling and upset but Spock knew that now was not the time. They had a Captain to avenge and a rapist to catch.

" Everyone pull yourselves together this instant." Boomed Spock.

This instantly had everyone from Chekov to Bones snapping out of the have of grief and guilt that had settled over them. They remember that they were Starfleet officer, most of them members of the senior staff. They forgot their emotions and focused instead on the Enterprise's first officer.

" We all have work to do and me must alert the base of the situation and-" Spock began to order when a new voice interrupted him.

" The base has already been alerted of the situation by Lt. Bansali. All docks and other exits have been sealed and the computers are running scans to locate all Antarians on board." Said man in his late thirties walked into their midst.

" Commander Wilson." Said Spock recognizing him as the commander of the base.

As the older officers and one Antarian elder all began to devise a plan, Ensign Chekov noticed something of the utmost importance.

" Everyone, where iz Cepten Kirk?" He asked outloud.

Everyone stopped dead at this question and after a pause Spock spoke.

" Jim is not in the reception hall, that much is certain. I could not locate him visually. Did any of you see where he went?" Asked Spock to the other.

Guilty looks and eyes not meeting his were his answer it was enough.

Wordlessly Spock rushed past all of then to one of the panels that stood in the wall, he quickly pressed one of the buttons and spoke directly to the Star bases computer.

" Computer, please give me the current location of Captain James T. Kirk." He ordered.

After a pause the female voice replied.

" Captain Kirk is in observation deck 3."

" Jesus, how the Hell did he go that far?" Asked Bones, who knew that the deck in question was almost all the way across the star base but thankfully close to where the Enterprise was currently docked.

" He is Jim Kirk." Said Spock simply like that was explanation enouth and then grew even more serious.

" Doctor, you and I must get to him as fast as within our capability. From what I can ascertain from the footage, the Captain is most definitely in dire need of medical attention." Said Spock gravely.

If it was possible Dr. McCoy pales even further and then spoke.

" WELL THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WAITIN' FOR LET'S GO!" Yelled Bones before he took off running.

" Commander, please alert a medical team to get to the Captain's location immediately." Said Spock before he too ran off after the doctor.

Wilson watched the two of them till they disappeared around a corner before he turned and quickly made his way to the panel Spock had spoken to moment ago. He raised the Base's medical bay.

" Sick bay this is Commander Wilson, send an emergency medical team to Observation deck 3 this instant, we got a man in trouble." He said urgently.

" Right away sir." Came a man's voice from the other side in acknowledgement before the com was severed.

With a small huff Wilson turned to the what remained of the group in the hallway. A'tal caught his eye and he made his way over to the elder Antarian.

" Ambassador, can you do anything to locate the guy we are after?" He asked.

A'tal looked around at the hopeful eyes pinned on him now and then nodded.

" Yes, we Antarians are master trackers, we can assist your scanners in finding the filth responsible for this." Ground out A'tal with his eyes now blazing in furious promise.

" Then you'd better hurry and find him before any of the Starfleet personnel do, especially my Lt. Bansali. From what I could tell from my last communication with her she is already trying to hunt him down and believe me, I think she wants blood." Said Wilson. A'tal nodded and then hurried away back into the reception hall to tell the other, innocent Antarian delegates of the crimes that one of their own had committed and the situation that was at hand.

" She isn't the only one." Said Sulu, all but growling it. Beside him Uhura, Chekov, and Scotty all had looks that to Wilson meant that they too wanted retribution.

For their Captain. Who they knew in their hearts they had all failed but were going to avenge and bring justice for regardless.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 5  
**

.

The stars were beautiful out there in the infinite blackness of space. They twinkled happily without worry or care.

From where he sat on the ledge of one of the large arched windows of the observation deck, Captain James T. Kirk stared out at open space wishing with all his heart had left in it that he could switch places with anyone of those twinkling points that burned all those light years away. At this point Jim Kirk believed whole-heartedly that he would gladly switch lives with anyone or anything at the moment, even a garbage scow. Any other form of existence was better than the nightmare his life had been transformed into. Jim's gaze slowly moved from the stars of the universe to the sleek white resplendence of one of the star ship's that was securely anchored to the Star base.

The USS Enterprise in all its majestic glory as the flagship of the Federation.

The Captain's already well irritated blue eyes grew shiny with wetness despite all the effort he could muster within himself to hold the bitter salt at bay.

The USS Enterprise, he was her Captain, but she was not his, not anymore.

Before he could stop himself a sob tore free from his now fully sore and scratchy throat. He turned away from the sight of the ship he had come to think of as his true home. What had happened last night and that very same morning now told him different. The Enterprise was not his home anymore, she and her crew had chosen someone else. He was now the unwanted Captain, to them all apparently selfish and unfaithful.

A cheating bastard.

With a small shudder wracking though his body Jim tried to get up and stand but found that even the slightest movement sent a razor like tendril of agony up from the very base of his spine to the very top of his skull. In addition he felt like he was mere feet from the very surface of the Sun.

It was so hot, too hot.

Clenching his jaw hard enough to here his own teeth grinding together, Jim slowly reached up with a light trembling hand and pulled at the fastening on his dress uniform's collar, loosening it. A light, barely there flush had graced the young man's usually pale skin and his tear filled eyes glazed over for a second every now and then. Jim closed his eyes and cleared his throat softly, wincing because it hurt like Hell. Then he sighed heavily and all but collapsed against the glass of the window, pressing his forehead into the thankfully cool surface.

He knew that something was horribly wrong with him, that he needed to get to Bones or any other doctor or medically experienced personnel on board the Star base.

But he just sat there collapsed against the cold glass, unmoving and broken both in the figurative and literal sense.

It hurt to move, it hurt to even draw in breath, and besides that he really didn't want to get up and leave the heavenly cool glass he had his face pressed up to. And he really didn't want to see a certain ship's surgeon's face right now either.

So Jim Kirk simply breathed deep and let his eyes fall shut. He wasn't gonna fall asleep or anything he was just so tired and his body was in the grip of the worst kind of agony, the slow and throbbing kind that he knew was not going to go away quickly. Both his body and what remained of his soul were in agony. The kind that no one would wish on anyone, not even a sworn enemy.

Limp against the arched windows cool glass, Captain Jim Kirk simply breathed in and out. In and out. A single tear slipped past the closed seam of his left eye and carved a trail down his cheek before falling away to splash silently onto the smooth surface of the window ledge.

He was completely unaware that those who dealt the sharpest blows to his heart were frantically looking from him and also trying to hunt down the one who had dealt the horrible blows to his body.

Meanwhile, still quite far from the agonized young man in Observation deck 3 two tall individuals were running with all of their might down one of the long and winding corridors.

Commander Spock and Dr. Leonard McCoy were flying down the path and the human was using everything he had in him to keep up with the furious pace the Vulcan was going at. Spock gave very little heed to McCoy's difficulties for his sole focus was getting to Jim Kirk's location as fast as was within his Vulcan capabilities. And all the while as these two men ran hard and fast they were both feeling the unmerciful claws of shock, guilt, and shame tearing at their insides. Spock feeling just a little more than what McCoy was feeling. They were both reeling from the horrifying revelations thrust upon them by a tearful Ensign Pavel Chekov.

Their Captain, who McCoy thought of as his best friend and Spock as that and more had been brutally assaulted by a clearly deranged and perverted Antarian Ambassador just last night.

Spock internally felt as though every part of him had been dipped in a highly corrosive agent as he remembered the way that Jim had looked when he had come into the quarters they had been sharing for many months. He, Spock had taken one look at his human lover and caught the acrid stench of a carnal nature and had immediately thought the worst possible thing. He had in that one moment of trusting his logic, made the most awful mistake in his entire life.

He had condemned his totally innocent lover, assuming that he had purposely partaken in infidelity.

He had abandoned Jim and left him all alone, just right after he had come back from having been rabidly violated.

Jim had come to him for help and instead Spock had figuratively slammed the door right in his face before the poor man could even opened his mouth to explain and defend himself.

It was with this self-derision burning hot and without mercy inside of him that Spock ran towards the location of Captain James T. Kirk.

Dr. Leonard McCoy was feeling just as bad as Spock was. Unlike the Vulcan who looked ready to kill despite the blank expression that graced his face, Dr. McCoy's skin had bleached completely white and he looked like he was just one second away from a total mental and physical breakdown. Hell even after they hopefully found Jim Kirk and It'vek the Antarian rapist he though he still might just collapse in on himself.

How could he have been so stupid, so foolish. He was a doctor, the Enterprise's CMO for God's sake. _Chief Medical Officer_. He was supposed to get all the facts he could before he made any judgment call about any and all things.

So then why hadn't he done that for his best friend? Why hadn't he asked Jim his side of what had happened between him and Spock? Why had he just up and decided that the Vulcan was the injured party?

The answer was simple.

He was an idiot who had allowed Jim's past as a man with a lengthy list of past female conquests cloud his judgment.

He had assumed right off the bat when he had seen Spock come out of the First Officer's quarters instead of the Captains quarters with a look of barely concealed anger that Jim had obviously gone back to his promiscuous playboy ways.

Oh how wrong he'd been.

Jim Kirk was the innocent victim in this entire situation, not Spock, not by a long shot.

His best friend and Captain had been raped. _Raped_. And he had done nothing for him, absolutely nothing. He had remained totally oblivious to this entire ghastly mess of a situation.

Feeling like the biggest asshole on the face of the universe for how he had treated his best friend, for adding to the suffering Jim had already been going through by drawing away and condemning him, the Doctor kept running.

Jim was _innocent_, and yet they had all found him _guilty_.

Feeling like shriveling up and dying right then and there McCoy ran side by side with Spock towards the Observation Deck, all the while hoping with every fiber of his being that Jim Kirk was at the very least safe from the menace that was still on board the Star base.

It was already a no brainer that Jim Kirk wasn't alright.

Not by a long shot.

Elsewhere, all over the star base people were carefully and systematically scouring every deck.

The seekers were comprised of the Star base's security personnel, the remaining senior staff plus one young ensign of the Enterprise, and four Antarian, the Elder A'tal and three others from his delegation, the best trackers among the group.

All were furious and all were after one single individual.

The Antarian Ambassador who had come to the talks as a representative for the lower Antarian provinces.

It'vek.

They were all spread out and looking through every nook and cranny of the base with murderous intent while waiting for the damn computer to give them a clear location. The bastard was proving to be quite elusive much to the frustration of all who basically wanted his head on a platter. On four decks there were four separate groups. On the first deck was Uhura, a female Antarian, and three young red uniformed security officers. The deck below hers was Scotty, a large and very angry Antarian, and four security officers, in the nest deck was Sulu with a thin and wiry Antarian who was acting just a tiny bit insane in his angry state, and two young security officers. And finally rounding out the party of hunters was Ensign Chekov with A'tal by his side and four guards. All were armed in one way or another and all vowed that they would seek out It'vek.

And along with anger, the members of the Enterprise crew and the Antarians were all feeling the guilt and shame of their failure to Captain Jim Kirk. They were determined to find It'vek at all costs where ever he was on this base.

Back with Spock and McCoy the two men had just rounded the corridor and gotten a third of the way to the Observation deck when they heard the sound of a turbo-lift door hissing open just a little ways ahead of them. As they came closer both Spock and McCoy were relieved to see that it was the emergency medical team Commander Wilson had urgently ordered for. The team consisted of two men and two women, all carrying emergency med-kits. The four medical officers barely had to to register it when a tall, murderous looking Vulcan and a determined looking human shot past them.

" WELL COME ON!" Yelled McCoy in passing over his shoulder before he and Spock disappeared further down the corridor. With barely a pause the four officers all moved fast and broke out into full sprints as they chased after the first officer and CMO of the Enterprise.

Spock did not falter once in his furious pace, his boot covered feet pounding over the corridor's floor. McCoy huffed every now and then but to his credit he too did not stumble. And behind then the medical team was quickly covering some of the distance between them at the two senior officers.

They all knew that a a very important life was hanging in the balance.

The six of them steadily began to closed the remaining distance to Observation Deck 3.

They had all just caught sight of the entrance way to the deck itself when an unexpected and horrifying sound suddenly filled the air.

**" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" **

A scream, a full force scream of pain and pure terror. A scream for anyone, anyone who was out there to come and help.

And it had come from further inside the Observation Deck.

Both Spock and McCoy felt their insides freeze in cold fear because the scream that was ringing in their ears and seemed to be reverberating throughout the whole station sounded all too familiar.

They instantly knew who it was.

Simultaneously quickening their already fast paces to just get to the Deck that seemed so close and yet so far away, it was McCoy who gave voice to what Spock was already screaming with all his might inside his mind while he focused all his might on running.

**" JIM!!!" **


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 6  
**

.

Spock and Bones careened into Observation Deck 3 after what seemed like an eternity of running with everything they had in them. The sight that greeted them when they did seemed to have been ripped from the beating black heart of Hell itself. It had both Spock and McCoy stopped dead in their tracks with the emergency medical team stopping a couple of feet behind them.

There by the far wall of the observation stood a monstrous looking Antarian, all blue and green scales and sharp looking spines about him. He was the Antarian that the base was in full alert and hunting for, the rapist.

It'vek.

And to Spock and McCoy's absolute horror, there trapped between the monster at the Observation deck was the person It'vek had just last night brutally violated, a pale and alarmingly sick looking Captain James T. Kirk. There was fresh blood rapidly turning the slashed up cloth of his dress uniform over his left shoulder a deep red. The Antarian bastard had sunken his sharp claw-like nails into Kirk's flesh and added fresh new cuts to the ones he had already left last night.

Jim for his part was still valiantly putting up a fight against his attacker even though he looked like death warmed over and seemed to be steadily growing worse with each second that passed. It was Spock who managed to recover his voice first.

" It'vek." He growled.

The creature in question turned and leered at the two Starfleet officers. Then with frighteningly fast movements It'vek yanked Jim away from where he had been pinning the human to the wall. One beefy, scale covered arm wrapped itself tightly around Jim's neck in a tight one-armed chokehold while the Antarian's other had produced a wicked looked serrated blade from the folds of the robes he was wearing.

Spock and Bones both took a step forward instinctively only to freeze when the sneering Antarian held the blade menacingly close to Jim's throat.

" I will slit this pretty little thing's throat if any of you so much as twitch." Hissed It'vek.

Jim clawed at It'vek's arm, which was cutting off the majority of his ability to draw in air. And the scales were hurting him too.

" Release Captain Kirk this instant and surrender peacefully." Said Spock calmly though his eyes still burned with murderous intent.

" And if I don't?" Hissed It'vek as he took a small step backwards towards one of the five entrance ways to the Observation Deck.

" Then force will be used against you." Answered Spock in a hard matter of fact tone that also held a small hint of promise.

Then Bones finally spoke.

" Give it up, every single Starfleet officer is out looking for you, Hell A'tal and some of the other delegates are helping. This entire base is on lock down, there is no way you are getting outta here. Let the Captain go, please." Said Bones, his voice shaking for just a split second on the last word.

All it did was make It'vek's sneer grow and his hold on Jim tighten.

" How pathetically you beg for his life, well he just so happens to make a rather fine bargaining chip as well as a body for me to take my pleasures from. So no your plea is to no avail. I am getting out of here, one way or another. And if you value you precious Captain's life you will not hinder me in any way." Said It'vek venomously.

From where he stood Spock was trying his hardest not to pounce on the scum that was holding his human hostage. Spock felt a molten hot spike of guilt go through him as he thought of Jim as his human. He had done a bang up job of taking care of that what was his hadn't he? Feeling self-loathing mingle with the cold rage that had risen up inside of him at It'vek evil words, Spock's eyes went to the vile It'vek's still valiantly fighting hostage.

Furious dark brown almost black eyes met those of pain-filled icy blue.

In that moment everything else from It'vek, to Mccoy, to the Star base itself all faded into the background.

There was only Jim and Spock.

As he looked into the agonized blue eyes of his Captain Spock felt his heart almost literally split in two. Spock knew that he was just a responsible for the unimaginable pain Jim was in as It'vek.

Spock could see every emotion that filled Jim's eyes. In the human's gaze there was already naked pain, then there was anger, the cold fury that was rightfully his to feel, there was only a small hint of fear and a lot of disgust, most likely because of the fact that It'vek was touching him. And behind this plethora of volatile emotions there was one other emotion that had Spock feeling a small jolt go off inside him.

Love, it was still there buried beneath the anger and the hurt.

Spock realized that to Jim, if these were to be his last moments alive, he was telling Spock that he still loved him. Even after all that had happened he still loved Spock. But then, Jim's pained eyes hardened as they stared back at Spock, dashing the minuscule wisps of hope that had risen up inside the Vulcan. It was like cold hard reality had literally slapped Spock across the face.

Jim may have still loved him, but he was not going to forgive. Not him and not the others. Definitely not now, not when this hostage situation was resolved, maybe not ever. And he had every right not to, after how they had all treated him it was a wonder Jim could even look at any of them, especially Spock himself.

With his eyes now hardened and looking like two orbs of ice, Jim broke the gaze he had been holding with Spock and focused his attention back to struggling against It'vek's tight hold. Now he was an angry hostage and he really didn't want to stay locked in the arms of his rapist for a second longer. With gritted teeth Jim turned his gaze back to the group of people standing across from him and his attacker.

" Shoot him." He said loudly enough.

This had everyone else freezing for a moment before It'vek growled and brought the knife he was holding in his other hand dangerously close to Jim's eye.

" Shut up or I will end you, bury this knife into one of those pretty little blue eyes of yours." Hissed It'vek menacingly as he tightened his hold around Jim's neck, causing the young man to sputter and gasp a little as his airway was that much more closed off.

" No, just take it easy It'vek, there's no way any of us are gonna shoot!" Cried Bones, feeling helpless and angry that he couldn't do anything, take any steps to end this standoff and get to Jim.

This was true, there was no way to get a clear shot of the Antarian scum without risking Jim, even if the phasers were set to stun, the damage could be catastrophic to the already well-injured Captain should any of the shots hit him. They couldn't risk it, not with Jim Kirk being used as a shield.

Then out of nowhere the sound of several fast approaching sets of feet had everyone in the Observation Deck coming to alert. A few seconds later a massive swarm of people all converged on the place. Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov all came rushing in with A'tal and the other Antarian trackers and the Starfleet security guards. All were armed and all were looking ready to kill. And when their eyes fell of the sight of It'vek the fiery rage that was already in their eyes turned into a full of hatred for the evil scum. But fear passed through everyone when they caught sight of the Antarian's hostage. And unfortunately, they hadn't been able to surround the hostage taker completely. He and his struggling hostage were standing at the mouth of the corridor that led to one of the docking areas.

All the Starfleet personnel had their phasers out and ready but It'vek held the knife menacingly at the Captain as he spoke.

" Any of you so much as take a step towards me I will slaughter you precious Captain and leave you his carcass. No tell them to unlock this base." Demanded It'vek.

" The Commander of this base will not permit the unlocking of all docks and exits under any circumstances. Just stop resisting It'vek for it is futile, you will not be able to escape. Just surrender peacefully." Said Spock with relative calmness, though he was finding it very hard at the moment to keep himself from careening across the room as fast as he could and getting his hands of the Antarian's scaly neck. He really wanted to strangle something right now and the perfect outlet was standing just a few feet across from him.

It'vek growled and glared at the massive group of very angry looking people standing across from him when his eyes met the pale milky red orbs of a very murderous looking Ambassador A'tal.

" What the Hell are you staring at old man?" Sneered It'vek.

" A stain upon the entire Antarian race." Growled A'tal as he took a small step forward and glared back at the shameful excuse for an Antarian.

It'vek scoffed and then spit on the ground in insult to the Elder. This had the other three younger Antarian's instantly growling low in renewed anger. Even the Starfleet personnel were gritting their teeth at what It'vek had just done.

Then everyone watched helplessly as It'vek began slowly backing into the corridor, dragging Jim with him.

Everyone was feeling their anger fade for a moment and be replaced with grave concern and fear as they took in the USS Enterprise's young Captain current condition. Though he was still pulling at It'vek scaly arm, Jim looked paler than a corpse, there was a light sheen of sweat over his skin, his eyes had grown more pained and were glazing over, his struggling was beginning to weaken. And most disconcerting was the deep red that was steadily spreading from his shoulder to nearly all of the top of his gold dress uniform.

Jim Kirk had lost too much blood and was continuing to loose the precious liquid. If they didn't do something quick things were gonna end really badly.

It'vek for his part was slowly growing less cocky and confident with second that passed as he stared around at the many murderous faces that were glaring at him.

Then in a split second, enraged and hateful, It'vek decided that if he wasn't gonna get off of the Star base, he could at the very least have the satisfaction of taking Jim Kirk away from the ones who wanted him so badly. At least he could have the satisfaction of sending the young man to the underworld knowing that the last person to touch his body had been he, It'vek.

There was a collective gasp from the Starfleet personnel as they watched paralyzed where they stood as It'vek raised the knife in his hands high above his head and then began bringing it down in a deadly arch straight for Jim Kirk's heart. This was it, this was the killing blow.

Then Spock and Bones were striding forward with Uhura, Sulu, Chekov, and Scotty behind them. They were as one trying to achieve the impossible.

" JIM!" Yelled Spock as he ran.

" JIM NO!" Screamed Bones as he ran with his hand outstretched.

" CAPTAIN!" Shrieked Uhura with tears gushing from her eyes.

" CAPTAIN!" Yelled Sulu from beside Uhura.

" CEPTEN!" Cried Chekov as he raised his phaser in futility.

" NO, STOP YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Screamed Scotty desperately as he too raised his phaser.

From where he stood gazing at his impending death as it seemed to come at him in slow motion, Jim Kirk ceased breathing all together and stood stark still.

He could vaguely hear the voices of his crew, his best friend, and his lover. They seemed so far away on the distance because all Jim could truly see now was the glee filled face of It'vek and the knife he was bringing down to bury to the very hilt into his captive. Jim watched in a daze as the knife slowly drew closer and the screams grew louder inside his head. Then with a soft exhale Jim let his eyes fall shut and waited for the pain of a violent death to come and wash over him.

And he could take solace in knowing that the pain would all fade and darkness would claim him into its deep abyss.

Then after several seconds Jim wondered why there wasn't the searing pain of a blade entering his body because it should've happened by now. Then Jim heard a very loud crack, like the kind wood makes when splintered into pieces. Jim's eyes were flying open as he heard It'vek scream loudly in clear agony. Before he could see what happened Jim Kirk felt the scaly arm around his neck loosen substantially before he was yanked sideways and out of the Antarian's grip entirely.

The next think Jim Kirk knew he was staring into a pair of bright amber eyes that were blazing with a savage light that made them look more red, like to fiery stars about to go supernova. They were encased in a pale caramel, heart shaped face that was framed by flaming red hair that color of deep red blood itself. ( Think Nariko from the Heavenly Sword Video game.) Jim gawked at this young woman despite how his body seemed on the verge of collapse and he tried to speak but his throat seemed like it had swollen shut. The unknown red-haired woman's eyes softened into sadness and guilt for a split second before they hardened once more.

Then Jim felt himself being pushed backwards and the woman turned away from him and shot away after something he couldn't quite make out. Jim fell backwards and he expected the cold hard floor to meet him at any moment so it was a slight shock when he felt his back impact with a warm and familiar front. Strong arms wrapped around him and all but lifted him off his heat. He felt himself being carried for several long moments before he was being slowly eased onto the floor.

Jim looked up and felt a jolt go through his heart at the face that swam into his line of vision.

Spock, looking paler than was even normal for him and with his jaw clenched tightly.

" Spuh." Jim began to whisper before another familiar voice cut him off.

" Shush Jim, don't try to talk. Easy, just take it easy. You're safe now, we're gonna fix you right up." Said Bones as he loomed over his fallen Captain and frantically ran a scanner over him.

" Shit, we gotta get him to sick bay now. He's bleeding internally too, that bastard hurt him bad and enough times been wasted!" Cried Bones.

Spock carefully lifted Jim into his arms and stood to full height before he spoke.

" Then let us hurry to the Enterprise, it is closer to us then the Star base's medical facility." He said lowly before he turned and ran down the corridor that would lead to the docked ship in question. Bones and the rest of the medical team all ran with the Vulcan.

This left a still pretty large group of people behind to stand in attendance for what was still happening in Observation Deck 3.

To be audience the awesome power that was Lieutenant Mirna Bansali's rage.

Yes, she was the red-haired woman who had seemingly materialized out of thin air and pounced on the vile scum that had been holding the Captain of the Enterprise hostage and who she had been hunting through this entire Star base for.

Now she was raining down justice on Captain James T. Kirk's behalf.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 7  
**

.

_**...CRUNCH!...**_

The sound seemed to reverberate through the whole of Observation Deck 3. And it sent cold chills through all who heard it.

It was the sound of It'vek's remaining arm being shattered.

The loud crack that Jim Kirk had vaguely heard just as he had realized that too many seconds had passed by without him feeling the pain of the serrated edged knife that had been intended to be the instrument of his death, had been when It'vek's first arm which had been holding the knife had been twisted and snapped like a twig, by the hands of a very enraged Lieutenant Mirna Bansali.

Now she had just given the vile being's other, intact arm the same deserving treatment.

Neon blue liquid was spattered all over the floor. It was Antarian blood and naturally it would be there to stain all available surfaces seeing as to how both of It'vek's arms hung useless and utterly ruined with compound-fractures to each. His face had also been pummeled to the point where it had become barely recognizable as the face of an Antarian. The floor along with being well stained was also heavily littered with blue-green scales that had somehow been forcefully knocked clean off of where they had been securely embedded in It'vek's outer dermal layer.

At this very moment It'vek screamed long and loud as the agony from his freshly destroyed arm washed over him in full unmerciful force.

But then a hefty boot-heel forcefully hitting him square in the gut had It'vek's scream of pain turn into a breathless wheeze.

And then when It'vek doubled over in a vain attempt to shield his injured gut he was grunting loudly, crying really as a hard knee smashed into his already well-beaten face, in the process destroying what ever was left of the Antarian's already broken nose and adding a deep fracture to his jaw.

With a gurggling scream It'vek pitifully crumbled to the floor stained with his own blood.

Above him his flame-haired punisher loomed and stared down at him with fiery disgust radiating off of her in waves.

The whole of the Observation Deck was silent save for the pathetic mewls and whimpers of It'vek where he lay sprawled on the floor.

It'vek looked up at Lt. Mirna Bansali with terror filling his ruined face. With a high-pitched scream that sounded like it would normally have come out of an Antarian woman or child, It'vek flopped around on the floor screaming in agony as his well-pummeled body protested vehemently at the fear-fueled movement.

Lt. Mirna Bansali stood tall and silent, her face a cold mask but her eyes still blazing with the fury. Her deep red uniform had a light spattering of neon blue all over it, as did one side of her face, from forehead to cheek to chin. He hands were clenched tightly to her sides, they were littered with smash cuts and bruises here and there but mostly over the knuckles. And with the force she had been putting behind each punch and other blow she had let loose against It'vek it was natural that her hands had gotten just a tiny bit torn up. Antarian scales were usually dull but with enough force unprotected skin could get cut on them.

Bansali's hands were bleeding lightly, red mingling with the vivid blue that already stained the floor and a pool of which was already beginning to form of It'vek who was feebly attempting to crawl away even though both of his arms were badly broken and he couldn't actually feel much from them let alone use them.

From where they all stood Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, A'tal, and the others were frozen by both the morbid sight of It'vek in his sorry state and the sight of the woman who was responsible for single-handedly putting him in such a state. And indeed it seemed like something straight out of a nightmare. Despite their still burning hatred for him, they all winced inside when they gazed upon It'vek's beaten and bleeding form. He looked like he had been forced through a meat grinder, he looked so sickeningly bad. But they all collectively felt fear and awe when they gazed at Lt. Mirna Bansali. No one who stood in audience had ever in their lives beheld such power, such rage, and such strangely savage magnificence all wrapped into one blood red-haired and amber eyed woman.

None could argue that the Lieutenant had not been oddly beautiful in her rage, in all the blows she had rained down, and in her systematic destruction of the one who had dared to hurt Captain James T. Kirk.

A sudden low and deep growling sound was suddenly heard, all eyes went to Bansali when they realized the sound the was coming from within here. It was a deep throat rumble. If it were possible Bansali's amber eyes hardened even further as they slowly shifted from the wretched being that was sprawled and whimpering before her to the long since forgotten knife that lay just a few feet away where it had fallen just a little further down the corridor.

With slow and calculating movements the Lieutenant turned and took the few steps down the corridor till she reached It'vek's discarded blade. With fluid grace she lightly sank to one knee and swiped up the blade from the floor. Holding it in one bloodied-knuckle hand Bansali slowly walked back over to where It'vek was moaning and bleeding.

She loomed over the filth for a few seconds and them with lightening fast speed she was on him, kicking him viciously in the gut and in the process rolling him over over onto his back. It'vek groaned breathlessly as he felt several of his well abused ribs, some were either cracked or fully broken. The kick sent a massive wave of mind-numbing pain through the already agonized Antarian.

But Lt. Mirna Bansali couldn't have cared any less about how much pain It'vek was in because if she had it her way she'd be adding more and more pain onto the vile scum until his body and hos mind could no longer withstand it.

" ARGH!" Screamed It'vek as an unforgiving knee suddenly pressed down hard on his chest, pinning his battered form forcefully to the floor.

" SHUT UP!" Roared Bansali.

Everyone else jumped at the woman's voice, not expecting it to be so loud and so forceful. It'vek on the other had instantly fell silent, obedient to the voice of the woman who had wiped the floor with him.

" I know what you did, how you you violated a Starfleet Captain. What made you think you had any right to do what you did?" Asked Bansali very slowly with a seemingly calm voice.

Feeling terrified to his very core It'vek opened his bloodied mouth to answer as pathetically as he could with trembling, garbled apologies when he found himself with the point of his own knife just centimeters from his one eyes which somehow not swollen shut.

" You so much as utter a sound I will end you, bury this knife into this one still serviceable eye of your." Hissed Bansali.

With a small moan of fear It'vek shut his mouth and nodded his head furiously all the while with tears gushing from his one good eye and bloody snot running freely from his destroyed nose.

" I would love nothing more than to bury this knife into your heart like you were going to do to Captain Kirk. I would love nothing more than you send you to hell, but I won't. I will spare you your miserable life for the simple reason of making sure that you will suffer for the rest of your days. And besides, I have sullied my hands enough by touching you, you filthy son of a bitch." Gritted out the Lieutenant.

Then in a move so fast it almost was a blur to all who saw it, Bansali tucked the edge of the knife away from It'vek one good eye and then smashed her fist into it as hard as she could. It'vek's head snapped to the side with the force and then he lay very still.

Unfortunately for him it wasn't a killing blow, the right hook and simply knocked him out and made sure that his one good eyes would be swelling shut very soon as well.

With a look of disgust aimed at the now unconscious Antarian, Lt. Mirna Bansali gracefully rose to her feet and chucked the knife in her hand aside. It clattered noisily onto the floor and then there was silence.

Absolute silence.

With a lingering look of hatred at It'vek where he lay, the lieutenant stepped away from the prone form and silently made her way over to the crowd of people who had stood in audience. She came to a stop just a few feet before them all and her hard amber eyes focused on one of the young security officers.

" Mr. Myers." She said firmly.

That seemed to snap everyone out of their awed gawking of the red-haired woman and the young officer in question quickly scrambled forward and stood to attention before the Lieutenant.

" Yes Ma'am." He said, eager to obey whatever orders this extraordinary woman had for him.

" Myers you and your men will take the Antarian to sick bay and have his injures treated. Death is too good for him, is that understood?" Asked Lt. Bansali.

" Understood Ma'am." Said Myers with a small nod before he turned to his fellow security officers and gestured to them.

" You heard the Lieutenant. We gotta get him to sick bay." Said Myers quietly.

The other officers hesitated for but a moment before a look from Bansali all had them scrambling to comply.

They all walked past the blood spattered Lieutenant with deep respect in their eyes. But the respect quickly grew to loathsome disgust when their eyes settled on the bleeding mess they were now in charge of. Myers and another officer strode forward to pick the unconscious Antarian up. Myers hooked his arms under It'vek's armpits while the other officer grabbed hold of his feet. Together they lifted the Antarian off the floor, It'vek hung limp and listless between them and sure enough his other eyes had rapidly begun to swell shut.

The group of security officers were just taking the first steps when Bansali's voice rang out.

" Oh and guys?" She called.

The security officers all instantly turned to eye the Lieutenant and she spoke.

" The prisoner isn't going anywhere and the base is secure, so you guys can take your time." She said with a small, savage glint of glee in flashing in her amber eyes.

This had many of the security officers perking up just a tiny bit.

" Yes ma'am." Said Myers while the others nodded.

Then they all turned and _slowly _started making their way down the corridor, and it was still such a long way to the Star base's sick bay.

Bansali's gaze lingered on the group for a few minutes before she turned her gaze to what remained of the once massive group. The crew members of the Enterprise and the members of the Antarian delegation.

For the longest moment they simply stared at each other before Bansali spoke.

" Where have they taken Captain Kikr?" She asked.

" Ze Enterprise, Commander Spock and Doctor Meecoy hurried away with him to treat his injuries." Answered Chekov shakily. He was naturally in fearful awe of the red-haired woman.

" Captain Kirk was taken away to the Enterprise, so why are all of you still standing here?" Asked Bansali suddenly to the Enterprise crew members.

Taken aback by this, the senior staff and one Ensign could not answer her, they could do no more than look guiltily back at her piercing stare.

Amber eyes hardened once more and with a very frigid voice she spoke.

" So, all of you decided to stay and enjoy the show instead of going with your injured commanding Officer." She said flatly.

" But listen, Commander Spock and Doctor McCoy took him, we wanted to help you with It'vek." Piped up Lt. Uhura.

" Well as you have clearly seen, I did not need assistance from any of you." Said Lt. Bansali.

Then with a small huff Lt. Bansali spoke.

" Alright then what are we all standing around here for? Your Captain is injured and you have all delayed enough in getting to his side where you are supposed to belong." She said coldly before she turned and all but fled down the corridor that Spock and Bones had long since disappeared down.

From where he stood, Ambassador A'tal was feeling slightly disturbed when he caught sight of the immensely guilty expression that had fallen onto the faces of Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov. But remembering the red-haired woman's words the Ambassador quickly shook himself out of his reverie. Sending the Enterprise crew a pointed look the elder Antarian sprinted off down the corridor with the three younger Antarian delegates following after him.

The crew of the Enterprise stood frozen where they were as full shame crashed down on them.

Then with his eyes welling once again with tears, Chekov broke free and began running.

" Captain Kirk." He sobbed softly before he disappeared down corridor.

Clenching jaw tightly, Scotty sent Sulu and Uhura a meaningful look before he took off as well, Sulu dashed off after the Enterprise's chief engineer and quickly ctching up to the other man. Together they too disappeared down the corridor that would lead to where the Enterprise was securely docked.

This left Lt. Nyota Uhura all alone in Observation Deck 3.

The woman was still just standing there in shock.

What the hell had just happened? How had it all happened? It was so surreal yet at the same time cold hard reality.

Uhura slowly turned her head to the side and looked over to see the neon blue mess that were the remnants of the what had probably been the most brutal beating she had ever seen anyone receive in all her life. Even more brutal than the one an emotionally compromised Spock had given to Jim Kirk during the Nero incident.

Then Uhura gasped and felt her insides freeze.

The Captain! The Captain who had been viciously assaulted twice by that Antarian bastard and had looked like death warmed over the last time she had seen him.

Captain James T. Kirk who was now fighting for his life, her Captain, whom she along with the others had disrespected so badly and failed so horribly.

With tears bursting from her eyes and a sob wrenching itself from her throat, Uhura finally sprang into action and ran off down the corridor that everyone else had just disappeared down.

Lt. Bansali had been right after all.

Their place was with their Captain.

Pity they had all had to have been reminded of that,

It should've been a duty, if not an instinct entirely to them.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 8  
**

.

While Lt. Bansali had finally made her appearance and come down on It'vek like the very hammer of God himself, it must be reminded that a small group of people had broken off from the larger group and fled down the corridor that led to where the USS Enterprise was securely docked.

They had after all had a more urgent matter to attend to and could not afford to stay and watch the ruin of It'vek.

And that matter was getting a more or less dying James T. Kirk to sickbay as fast as was in their capabilities.

Commander Spock had swept his grievously injured Captain into his arms and flown down the long corridor with Dr. McCoy somehow managing to keep up with him while also using his medical scanner to further assess the Captain's dire state of being. Kirk himself had promptly lost consciousness just a few moments after Spock had started running with him in his arms. This had sent fresh tendrils of fear through Dr. McCoy because it meant that Jim had lost a great deal of blood both from the deep slashes that marred his shoulder and from the internal injuries he had most definitely suffered received during It'vek's brutal assault from just the night before.

Spock for his part had not let up in the furious pace he had been running at with Kirk in his arm. The Vulcan had kept on running with a look of raw determination written across his usually blank face. Dr. McCoy had managed to keep up, most like from the adrenaline that was pumping through his veins.

Together they had gotten Jim safely to the anchored USS Enterprise.

Now they were all inside the Star Ship's sickbay stabilizing Captain Kirk and getting him ready for surgery.

Spock stood at a distance to keep the way clear for Dr. McCoy and the other members of the medical staff. Dr. McCoy was all but scrambling into a pair of surgical scrubs and then he was running off to scrub his hands as thoroughly as he could. A nurse already dressed in the proper surgical attire was carefully but quickly cutting an already barefoot Jim's ruined dress uniform shirt off of his prone form. The ruined material once a bright and brilliant was now dull and putrid looking with deep, muddy red staining nearly all of it deep. After she had cut through the material the nurse carefully pulled it free from a pale and unresponsive Jim Kirk. She let the ruined garment fall to the floor and instead focused all of her attention on cleaning up the deep crimson blood that vividly stained the Captain's ghostly white skin.

The Stats monitor that hung above Jim's head showed that his vitals were a little too close to the dangerous mark. But thankfully they weren't fluctuating, things were still critical but he wasn't getting any worse. Everyone was praying that that fact didn't take a nosedive at any point right now.

Spock's eyes were glued to the scene of the nurse as she first pressed a compress over Jim's shoulder to staunch the wounds that were still weakly bleeding. Then the nurse began wiping away the sticky red liquid the covered nearly all of Jim's chest. The woman was fast and efficient in the task that had been assigned to her. She cleaned up the blood and then turned her attention to the compress covered wounds. With careful and gentle hands the nurse slowly pulled the compress away to reveal the angry and blood wounds left behind by It'vek's cruel hand. The Nurse quickly reached over to the small table with medical instruments neatly laid out on it and picked up a small cylindrical device. Spock recognized it as a dermal regenerator.

The nurse began running the device with practiced strokes up and down one of the bloody claw-marks. Spock felt a small, illogical wave of relief floor him inside as he saw that with each careful and calm stroke of the regenerator the mark slowly began to fade and shrink from a long angry curved line, to a light pink patch before disappearing entirely into smooth, unbroken pale skin. The nurse quickly set about giving the same treatment to the remaining wounds on Jim's shoulder and to the other fresh cuts that littered his skin from the night before. About ten minutes later she had just finished with the last cut that lay over Jim's him when Dr. McCoy and his surgical team came bounding in with purpose. They were decked out in deep blue surgical attire and looked more like a small band of soldier ready to go into battle. And in a way this was true, they were getting ready to combat a rather strong and unpredictable opponent.

Internal bleeding.

Maybe they would also be fighting against death itself only Dr. McCoy didn't want to think of it that way, neither did his surgical team. They were going to do everything they could to make sure that James T. Kirk survived through this.

" Nurse, have you taken care of all the minor lacerations?" Asked Dr. McCoy sternly.

" Yes doctor, I have. but I haven't cut off his trousers yet." Said the Nurse.

" I'll do that myself, right now clear out of the way." Said McCoy before he turned his gaze to the members of his team and continued.

" The rest of you take up your positions."

The medical personnel all nodded and did as they were ordered by the CMO.

Taking in a steadying breath Dr. McCoy stepped forward but paused suddenly, his gaze turned to the side and his eyes settled on the tall and pale Vulcan who was standing at a good distance with his eyes glued to the pale and unmoving figure who was laying on the operating table. The Vulcan seemed to sense that he was being watched because his dark almost black eyes shifted from Jim's unconscious form to meet Dr. McCoy's gaze. The two men stared at each other both their faces unreadable yet to them they could see it all so clearly.

" Save him Doctor McCoy." Spock seemed to say through his eyes.

" I am going to Spock, I'm not gonna let him go." Was McCoy's silent reply.

Then with a small nod the Doctor turned back to the monumental task ahead. He had a life to save, and that life belonged to his Captain, to his friend whom he had hurt very badly with his misconceptions and assumptions of what had happened.

The undeniable truth of what had really happened had naturally cut him down to size.

Dr. McCoy quickly battled back the wave of anguish and guilt that threatened to rightfully drown him. Now was not the time to feel such thing, he had a job to do and he was damn well gonna do it. With that in mind McCoy quickly donned his surgical mask and strode forward with purpose and spoke.

" Nurse please hand me the scissors and get the sheets ready, the rest of you please help me turn him onto his front then look away." He ordered as the Nurse handed him a pair of surgical scissors.

The other members of the surgical team all helped McCoy in repositioning a boneless Jim Kirk and then respectfully went so far as to turn all the way around and give the injured Captain some dignity. McCoy was tight-lipped behind his mask as he methodically and carefully began cutting of Jim's dress-trousers. The blades of the scissors easily cut through the black fabric, the doctor cut from the the very end of Jim's left pant leg all the way up to the waist till he was completely through, then he made quick work of Jim's boxer which to his silent dismay had some small, tell-tale red stains on them. Clenching his jaw to the point of pain McCoy turned to the nurse and asked for the sheets. Once Jim's lower half was covered McCoy began to pull off Jim's now well ruined trousers and boxer. They came free easy enough and the doctor handed them off to a nurse to be discarded.

" Alright people, let's get to work fast." Ordered Dr. McCoy.

Where he stood, Spock felt frustration seep in because the doctor and his small surgical team had now effectively obscured his view of the Captain. Then Spock's sensitive herig caught the sound of fast approaching feet. Rapidly switching to full alert Spock silently stepped away from his place in sickbay and made his way to the door. He stepped out into the corridor to see who it was that was approaching so quickly. He assumed that it was the rest of the senior crew. He was sort of correct because the remaining members of the Enterprise crew were on their way, but they hadn't even reached the ship itself yet.

Spock could see now that the sound he had heard was being made by a woman with fiery red hair who was rapidly closing the distance to the sickbay. As she drew nearer Spock could see that her red uniform was in complete shambles, rumpled and splattered with strange blue liquid. Spock could also see that her hands looked like they had gone ten full contact rounds with a brick-wall, all bloodied and slightly torn up looking. As his eyes settled on her face Spock saw the deep amber eyes and recognition instantly dawned on him.

This had been that mysterious woman who had saved Jim's life. She had been the one to break It'vek's arm when he had been bringing down his knife to stab Jim clean through the heart. She had been the one who had yanked Jim out of that Antarian scum's grip and pushed him out of the way right into Spock's waiting arms.

Now this woman was running at him at full speed. Spock naturally stay where he stood, stoic as ever.

The woman seemed like she was going to plow right into him as full force, so it took Spock mildly by surprise when the woman abruptly came to a halt just a step away from him.

Dark brown, almost black eyes stared into those of deep, bright amber. The red-haired woman's chest heaved from the exertion of having run so far so fast. She stared up at Spock with her soulful eyes and Spock could see clearly that there was quiet despair swimming in there red-honeyed depths. It was the red-haired woman who spoke first.

" The Captain?" She whispered breathlessly.

For reasons he couldn't quite place Spock suddenly found it very difficult to speak. But through sheer will he forced his voice to work.

" They have begun performing surgery on him to stop the internal bleeding." Said Spock before he turned his gaze to the closed sickbay doors.

Then Spock turned his gaze back to the slightly disheveled looking red head standing before him.

" May I please know your name?" He asked.

Unconsciously the red-head stood to attention and complied.

" I am Lieutenant Mirna Bansali, one of this Star Bases surveillance monitors sir." Said Lt. Bansali as professionally as she could manage.

The adrenaline was starting to wear off and yes, she was beginning to feel every cut and bruise on her hands but using her will she continued to stand at attention.

" At ease Lieutenant." Said Spock softly.

Bansali instantly relaxed and the two stood together in silence before they both caught the sound of yet more fast approaching feet. Spock looked ahead while Bansali turned and sure enough more people could be seen hurriedly making their way down the corridor towards sickbay. At the front running with surprising speed for someone his age was Ambassador A'tal along with the three other delegates, a curly brown head just a few steps behind them informed Spock that Ensign Chekov was right on their heels, and at the very back were Scotty, Sulu, and Uhura. All of them seemed to be literally stampeding as one towards where Spock and Lt. Bansali stood.

Spock strode forward and took a few steps away from the sick bay doors. At least he could stop all of them before they cause a commotion close to the sickbay doors and end up distracting the medical personnel who were performing a very delicate task within. Spock stood and waited but then something red caught the corner of his eyes, he turned to see Lt. Bansali, blood splattered and with her hand still bleeding lightly come to stand beside him. He could tell that this young woman was exhausted and also in a fair amount of pain herself and yet, she was unwilling to leave him to hold the gate as it were by himself.

Sure enough a few seconds later the both of them where being bombarded by the deluge of people, all concerned and solely focused on the current state of one Captain James T. Kirk.

" Commander Spock, please tell me how Captain Kirk is doing." Said Ambassador A'tal.

" How iz Cepten Kirk doing?" Asked Chekov with tears glistening in his eyes.

" Aye Mr. Spock, please tell us what is goin' on with the Capten." Said Scotty.

" Please Spock, how badly has he been hurt?" Asked a tearful Uhura.

They were all shouting and speaking all at once not giving Spock the chance to actually say something and quite frankly Lt. Bansali wasn't in no mood for this crap. Drawing in a deep, lung filling breath the lieutenant parted her lips and let her voice fly loose at full volume.

**" SILENCE!" **

There were a few startled noises at the sheer power of the red-haired woman's voice but then there was complete silence just as she had requested for. All eyes including Spock's went to the Lieutenant. She didn't so much as twitch under the many gazes now one her and with a soft huff she spoke.

" Thank you, now please all of you calm down and let Commander Spock actually speak and inform you of the situation." Said Lt. Bansali revealing that she was under regular circumstances a very soft spoken woman.

The large group of people all gawked at her for several moments before Spock shook himself and got to informing everyone like he was originally intending to.

" Everyone, at this very moment Dr. McCoy is performing surgery on Captain Kirk in order to stop him form internally bleeding to death. The situation is critical therefore I must ask that all of you remain calm and not raise your voices loudly out of respect for the Doctor and his medical team. What they are doing is very delicate and very serious. All that any of us can do now is wait and hope that Dr. McCoy is successful in his endeavours to save Captain Kirk's life." Said Spock with the clinical matter of factness he was known for.

But on the inside Spock likened what he was feeling to something slowly cracking into peices when subjected to having a large weight pressed on top of it.

It may have been that everyone was feeling that way from Lt. Bansali, to Ambassador A'tal, all the way down to Ensign Chekov.

And true to Spock's words the best they could do now is wait.

And hope for the best possible outcome for this entire harrowing incident.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_. _

_Author's not- Please try listening to Peter Gabriel- Passion while reading this chapter._

_.  
_

**Chapter 9  
**

.

_...Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep..._

The soft rhythmic beeping noise from the monitor that was charged with keeping track of Captain Jim Kirk's vital signs filled Dr. Leonard McCoy's ears as he worked with painstaking care to repair the brutal damage that had been done to the inner walls of Jim's most intimate area. There were unfortunately several areas of worry that were causing the internal bleeding that threatened Jim Kirk's very life.

Dr. McCoy was using a long probe with a tissue regenerator at the very end of it. McCoy's eyes were focused on a small screen that was attached to an over head arm. On the screen was the image of Jim Kirk's well abused inner walls and the end of the long probing instrument McCoy was using to seal up the tears to the soft inner flesh.

As he worked McCoy had to keep up an ongoing battle with all of the strong emotions that were swirling around inside of him. There was anger of course, at the one who was responsible for literally tearing his friend apart. There was also deep guilt because he, along with everyone else had torn apart whatever Jim had had left in him. Now McCoy also felt deep and cold mortification swell up inside of him because though he was a doctor sworn to treat people with even the worst kind of injuries known to the galaxy, he never thought he every seen the day when his best friend and Captain would be suffering from injuries that were classified to that category.

But with a deep breath McCoy refocus his attentions solely on getting the tissue regenerator over every singly laceration and stopping the internal bleeding.

Jim for his part lay completely still, whiter than the whitest sheet, and drugged up to his eyeballs. Thankfully unconscious.

After a good twenty more minutes McCoy had just reached the the last deep laceration It'vek had left behind in his destructive wake when a voices were heard coming from outside the Sickbay doors. Dr. McCoy looked to one of the nurses who wasn't involved with Jim's surgery and spoke.

" Nurse, please go see what's happening out there in the hallway." He ordered before going back to work of getting this final deep cut regenerated.

The Nurse nodded and put down the PADD she had been filling out. She quickly made her way to the sickbay door that smoothly slid open for her once she came near.

Outside she was greeted by the sight of Commander Spock looking sternly at a red-haired woman who looked rather worse for ware.

" Commander, I can deal with this for a few more minutes more. Like you said, they don't need any further distraction in there." Said the Woman softly.

" Lt. Bansali, I have noticed that you are in a moderate amount of pain and your hands are in need of medical attention. I request that you go into sickbay immediately. Please do not resist this request any further or else, as a higher ranking officer I will order you to do so." Said Spock.

Knowing that it was indeed futile to go up against the Vulcan, Lt. Bansali nodded and then noticed the nurse standing there looking at her with slightly wide a small smile that looked more like a grimace the disheveled lieutenant made her way over to the nurse and spoke.

" Nurse, would you please be so kind as to help me?" She asked quietly, while all the while a soft flush graced her cheeks as she held up her scraped up hands that had thankfully stopped bleeding, but now had deep red caked all over them.

That seemed to snap the Nurse out of her gawking on the Lieutenant who seemed to have just returned from a war zone.

" Of course Ma'am, please come with me." Said the Nurse being all business upon seeing the state of Bansali's hands.

" Thank you." Said Lt. Bansali before she followed the Nurse into the sickbay with the doors sliding shut after the two women.

This left Spock, the rest of the Enterprise crew and Ambassador A'tal and his delegates still standing in the hallway anxiously awaiting news of Captain Kirk's state of health. Inside the sickbay Lt. Bansali paused in following the nurse when her eyes fell to the group of scrub-clad people standing around a well lit operating table. Bansali instantly knew who they were and who was being operated on. Feeling her insides grow cold for just a second Lt. Bansali quickly tore herself away from her staring and instead made her way over to the examining table where the Nurse was waiting.

Feeling exhaustion slowly beginning to creep in Lt. Bansali forced herself to climb onto the examining table, sitting over the edge and holding out her hands. The Nurse winced as she took in the many jagged lacerations, questions instantly forming.

" How did this all happen?" She asked.

Sad amber eyes met her inquiry.

" I doled out punishment to an evil being, he will live but he won't ever forget. And I did it all for that man who's lying over there on that operating table fighting for his life." Said Lt. Bansali.

" Captain Kirk? Now no one is telling me what happened, do you know what it is?" Asked the Nurse eagerly.

" I think it's best if you didn't know the full details. Just know that it was something pretty horrible regarding Captain Kirk, something I won't every forget. But with respect to the man's privacy I am not at liberty to say anything further." Was all Lt. Bansali said with a tone of finality.

Getting the hint and now wondering whether or not she really wanted to know, the nurse held up a small basin filled with a gentle antiseptic solution and indicated for the Lieutenant to dip her hands in. The Lieutenant hissed lightly as she sank her hands into the solution. It didn't sting very much and after a few minutes the pin dissipated to almost nonexistent. The solution itself turned a watery red as the dried blood was quickly dissolved from Bansali's skin.

Just minutes later Bansali's hands were dried and already being quickly regenerated with smooth efficiency by the nurse. Once the nurse was done the Lieutenant went about getting the rest of herself as clean as she could manage under the circumstances, mainly getting as much of the Antarian blood that had stained her off.

Where he stood, McCoy let out a small huff of relief as he ran the tissue regenerator over the last laceration a finally time leaving behind undamaged pink flesh.

" Allright, that should do it. How are his stats nurse?" Asked McCoy.

" Stats are improving slowly but surely Doctor." Said the Nurse.

The entire surgical team all seemed to instantly grow slightly relaxed. They had stopped the bleed and taken care of most of the Captain's injuries. Now there were simply a few small contusions here and there that could've been allowed to heal on there own. But McCoy vowed to run the dermal regenerator over every single mark that still remained on Jim's skin. He was going to do his damn well best to remove all traces of that Antarian son of a bitch It'vek.

Dr. McCoy looked up just as he had carefully pulled the probe free from Jim in time to see the red-haired woman standing just a few feet away. He instantly recognized her as the one who had stopped It'vek from killing Jim with the knife.

The woman was completely silent but her amber eyes spoke volumes. Dr. McCoy met these eyes and for the longest time they simply stared at each other. Then McCoy let his eyes soften and gave a simple nod.

A small, ghost if a smile graced the woman's lip while naked relief shined in her eyes. With a small nod of her own the woman gracefully turned away and walked out of the sickbay. With his eye lingering on where she had stood for a moment, Dr. McCoy turned his focus back to finishing up with Jim and making sure that there was nothing else wrong.

Spock and the others all looked to the door to see Lt. Bansali walk back out, her uniform was still a mess but her face, neck, and hands were all cleansed of the neon blue liquid. She also had a look of relief shining in her eyes. Spock was stoic as he stepped forward to greet the woman.

" Have your injuries been handled sufficiently?" He asked.

" Yes sir, I'm good as new." Answered Lt. Bansali.

Then all at once there was a crowd surrounding her and Spock.

" Did you see the Captain?" Asked Sulu eagerly.

" How iz he?" Asked Chekov.

" Please tell us if you saw anything." Urged Uhura.

" Aye, do tell us if ya kno' any'thin." Agreed Scotty.

As calmly as ever Lt. Bansali waited for all of the voiced to die down before she spoke.

" I couldn't see much but once my hands were taken care off I stopped by the door to see for myself. The Doctors are just about finished in there and it looks like the Captain pulled through without a hitch but, I'm sure their going to be coming out any second to tell us themselves." Said Lt. Bansali.

But then as she looked across all of the relieved and yet still guilty looking faces, Bansali remembered that it had been her own actions that had led to all of them fining out what had happened to their Captain. None of them had known for themselves, none of them had suspected of anything wrong even though things were clearly wrong. Feeling dread slowly starting to creep into her, Bansali opened her mouth to speak when the sound of feet approaching had everyone turning to see a very worried looking Commander Wilson quickly making his way over to them.

The crowd parted, respectfully giving way for the Commander of the Star base they were currently docked at.

" Commander Spock, how is he, how is Captain Kirk?" He asked instantly.

There was a small hiss as the sickbay door opened to reveal a scrub-clad, slightly tired and maybe even sad looking Dr. Leonard McCoy. He stepped forward with his eyes on the newly arrived Commander.

" I believe I am better equipped at answering that question Commander Wilson. Captain Kirk has pulled through emergency surgery. He is stable and heavily sedated at the moment and probably won't be regaining consciousness for a good long while." Said McCoy.

The instant his words registered everyone excluding Spock and Lt. Bansali who already saw for herself seemed to literally collapse with relief. All at once the crew of the Enterprise swarmed around the doctor, all asking the same thing.

_When can we see him? _

" In a little bit everyone, right now we have to let him rest." Said McCoy.

But from where she stood Lt. Bansali remember that something had been nagging her and she had been about to voice her concerns.

" Umm, excuse me everyone?" She said to get their attention.

All eyes instantly turned to the red-head.

" Yes Lieutenant?" Answered Spock.

" I don't mean to be rude or speak out of turn but I must ask, why did none of you realize what had happened to Captain Kirk. I mean, according to the security footage I found the incident took place just last night, surely Captain Kirk came to one of you for help right?" Asked Lt. Bansali.

She watched with growing dread as the happy, relieved faces morphed into expressions of shock, shame, and damning guilt and drained of all their colors. Several eyes went to the tall half-Vulcan officer among them.

" Commander Spock?" Asked Commander Wilson, feeling dread starting to grow inside his own gut as well.

For the longest time there was a tense and thick silence reigning over everyone. Then Spock finally spoke though not really meeting either Lt. Bansali or Cmdr. Wilson's eyes as he did so.

" Yes Captain Kirk came to me last night." He said simply, pausing a moment to see the unspoken question of " Then what?" written on Bansali and Wilson's faces.

" First I must reveal that the Captain and I are... were involved with each other for many months prior to this incident. When he came to our shared quarters last night I took in his appearance and made an incorrect assumption about the activities he had been involved in." Said Spock flatly, emotionlessly.

" An incorrect assumption... Wait a second... You two were involved with each other then... Oh my God." Said Lt. Bansali before with her eyes once again blazing she took a step forward towards Spock and with a deadly voice she spoke.

" You thought he had cheated on you?" She all but growled.

Spock's silence was answer enough.

Commander Wilson, who's expression had turned stormy with muted anger noticed the guilt-ridden faces of the other members of the Enterprise crew. He too took a step forward and pinned them all with a look as he spoke.

" What about the rest on you, didn't any of you see that something had been very wrong with your Captain? What did all of you do?" He asked though he had the sinking feeling that he wasn't going to like the answer if any that would come.

It was McCoy who finally spoke up.

" We all saw the way Spock had moved out of the quarters he shared with Jim. We all thought the same, like idiots we all thought he was guilty too." Said McCoy with his eyes becoming overly shiny with salt.

" Oh... Hell no... No way... NO!" Said Wilson steadily growing louder with each word as a shook his head and wrenched himself away, starting to pace back and forth.

Lt. Bansali's hands were clenched tightly into fist that trembled lightly at her sides as her eyes bore into the guilty faces before her until her eyes settled on Spock as she spoke.

" You mean to tell me that all of you treated your Captain, who had been viciously assaulted just last night like _he_ was the one who had done something wrong? That it was all his fault?" Asked Bansali very slowly.

" _This_ is who we call the best crew in all of Starfleet?" Asked Wilson in soft disbelief.

From where they stood, Ambassador A'tal and his fellow Antarians stood completely appalled by what had just been revealed, the sickening truth of the further injustice Jim Kirk had suffered through, this time at the hands of his very own crew.

Spock, McCoy, Sulu, Uhura, Scotty, and Chekov all bowed there heads in deserving shame. They had done this, they had all done this and more.

As she gazed at him. Lt. Bansali noticed something about Spock that had her heart cracking despite the deep anger she was feeling for the second time today. With her jaw clenched tight and her amber eyes growing bright with angry tears, Lt. Bansali closed the remaining feet that separated her from Spock. She stood at arms length from him and raised her hand. Everyone tensed, they had all seen the extensive combat skills this woman possessed and were no doubt, however illogical it was, thinking that she was going to attack the Vulcan like she had the vile It'vek.

But she proved them wrong yet again when instead she slowly reached out towards Spock's shoulder, where everyone including Spock himself finally noticed the small circular, dark red stain that graced the shoulder of the Vulcan Science officer's light blue dress uniform shirt. Spock did not move an inch as he felt the lieutenant's fingertips slowly, gently press into the dark, and disconcertingly still wet stain. Everyone instantly knew who's blood this was.

When Lt. Bansali drew her hand away, the tips of her index, middle, and ring finger were all painted a deep red. She held her bloodied hand up to eye level with Commander Spock. When the woman opened her mouth, the words that left her lips had everyone, including Commander Spock going numb inside.

" Has Captain James Tiberius Kirk bled enough for all of you to find him innocent now?"


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_. Author's note- Please listen to Elizabeth: The Golden age Soundtrack track no. 19 "Walsingham death bed" while reading this chapter._

_.  
_

**Chapter 10  
**

.

It was very quiet now in the Sickbay of the USS Enterprise. It was almost dead silence all around, the charged drama of the day's events having long since passed into memory. Now all was calm if somewhat empty now in the ship's medical facility with nearly all of it's staff having gone off duty. It was considerably late in the hour now according to Starfleet regulation time. Most everyone on board the docked Star Ship had long since succumb to the pull of sleep. Now only a few people were still awake at this ungodly hour besides the Night Shift crew who were working.

Among these sleepless individuals was the Enterprise's Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Leonard McCoy who was at the moment standing by the desk in his office pouring himself a small glass of strong brandy from his secret stash. There was a light tremor to McCoy's hand as he poured some of the deep amber liquid into the small shot glass. Once he'd filled the glass to his liking McCoy put the bottle away and picked up the shot of brandy.

" Dammit." He swore softly under his breath before quickly slugging back the shot.

The alcohol burned weakly down his throat , but the Doctor simply couldn't bring himself to enjoy it like he usually did. Now it just left a sour taste in his mouth. Wincing a little Dr. McCoy simply shook his head and then slowly turned his gaze to the dimmed Sickbay where there was only one soft light coming from the door to the recovery room at the far end of the place. With a small sigh McCoy forced his legs to move. He walked out of his office and made his way past the tables for examining and operating. He came to stand at the threshold of the door to Recovery and let the soft light from inside of it wash over him. Taking in a deep breath through his nostrils, Dr. McCoy silently leaned against the door frame and let his gaze go to the Recovery room's single sleeping occupant.

Dr. McCoy felt a dull twinge inside his heart as he stared at the still ghostly pale and far too still form of Jim Kirk where he lay in one of soft recovery bed, clad in a set of thin medical scrubs and with the bed's covers tucked in very snug around him.

With a moments hesitation Dr. McCoy stepped into the room and made his way over to where his friend and Captain lay. He pulled up a chair by the side of Jim's bed and wearily sank down into it. McCoy stared at Jim's pale yet blissfully unconscious features, he took in the steady rise and fall of the young mans chest. The monitor that hung above Jim's head beep softly in time with the young Captain's vital signs.

All was quiet now and in relative stillness.

McCoy leaned in closer to Jim and focused his sense of hearing on the sleeping man's breathing. It made the Doctor all the more unhappy when he heard the faint but telling rattling hidden beneath the sounds of Jim inhaling and exhaling air. Now along with already having survived through a hostage ordeal and an emergency surgery, Jim had to deal with an infection that had developed in the hours after the internal bleeding had been stopped. McCoy looked up to one of the chronometers that was part of Jim's vitals monitor and saw that it was getting close to time for Jim's next dosage of antibiotics. With lingering eyes on Jim's unresponsive form McCoy slowly rose from his seat and made his way over to one of the medical tables were one of the nurses had left the prepared hyposprays. McCoy picked up one of the sprays leaving only two more to be administered after three hour intervals.

The Doctor quietly made his way back to Jim's side. He stood over the sleeping blond and leaned in close, bringing the tip of the hypospray to the side of Jim's neck.

" Sorry about this Jim." Apologized McCoy softly as he pressed the spray to the unconscious man's neck and and pressed the button to inject the medicine with a small hiss.

Jim Kirk who hated hyposprays with a passion didn't so much a twitch now, he remained completely unresponsive. With a soft sigh Dr. McCoy set the hypospray down on the nearby night stand by the recovery bed and then retook his seat. He rubbed a weary hand over his pale face, feeling like in the course of a few hours he had aged a whole decade. Naturally McCoy's eyes went to Jim's sleeping form once again. For the longest time McCoy simply sat their and stared at Jim, who simply breathed softly in the silence. The dim light of the room made him seem even more ghostly pale, almost like a corpse.

As he sat their, McCoy heard the words that had been haunting him for all these hours that had passed echo through his mind.

_" Has Captain James Tiberius Kirk bled enough for all of you to find him innocent now?"_

These words had been spoken by a Lieutenant who in the course of a few seconds had lost all the respect she had had for the Enterprise's senior crew. McCoy could still feel those deep amber eyes as they had glared at him and at the others. Her soft voice still rang in his ears. And to be quite honest with himself, Dr. McCoy could not find any way of answering the question the voice was continuously asking. How could he answer when he knew in his heart that Jim Kirk was not supposed to have bled a single drop at all to prove his innocence.

It had been all of them after all who had made their assumptions and thought the worst of a great Captain, a best friend, but most importantly, a good man.

McCoy was so lost in his dark and guilt-ridden thoughts he didn't notice when a new person quietly made his way into the Recovery room.

" Doctor?" Asked a deep voice.

" Jesus!" Swore McCoy as he nearly fell out of the chair he was sitting in. He quickly managed to avert that undignified outcome by gripping the edge of Jim's bed.

The Doctor turned, ready to let fly an angry but hushed rant when instead his voice died in his throat as he saw who it was standing by the doorway.

" Spock." Said McCoy quietly as he eyed the tall half-Vulcan where he stood with his arms at his side and a veiled look of uncertainty gracing his usually blank countenance.

The Vulcan nodded wordless and then made his way over to where McCoy and Jim were. Spock stood tall and silent as he looked from McCoy to Jim's sleeping face and then back to the Doctor.

" How is he Doctor?" Asked Spock softly.

" I just gave him his latest dose of antibiotics, he's still out cold but, he's holding his own. Thank God for that much." Sighed Bones and he straightened up and then leaned back in his chair. He looked to Sock and gestured to one of the other chairs in the room.

" Pull up a chair Spock." He said quietly.

Spock nodded mutely and then wordlessly brought another chair over to the one McCoy was sitting in and smoothly sat down in it. The two men sat in silence, simply staring at their recovering Captain for several long moments. It was McCoy who finally broke the silence between them.

" So, have you checked in with Command and informed them of the situation?" Asked the Doctor.

Dark eyes turned to meet his gaze as Spock answered.

" Affirmative, I have contacted Admiral Pike and informed him of the situation, at my own discretion I left out most of the unsavory details. Admiral Pike assured me that this incident would be handled with the uttmost confidenciality and respect to Captain Kirk's privacy." Said Spock mechanically.

" Well, that much is good to know. How about the Antarian, what have they done with that evil son of a bitch?" Asked McCoy, everything about him hardening at the mention of It'vek.

" Now formerly Ambassador It'vek was treated for some rather painfully severe but surprising all together non-fatal injuries. Though both of his arms had required surgery to repair the compound fractures that had been dealt to them and he will still require extensive reconstructive surgery to repair the massive amount of damage that has been done to his face, there was no brain damage and no other internal injuries save for his ribs. It appears that despite how badly he had been beaten, the one who had beaten him was keenly aware of where to hit in order to get maximum damage and still not cause death to occur. It'vek is now being detained in the Star base's brig with a full security guard his every move. They will not allow for him to escape" Explained Spock.

" Jesus, that sure is one fiery red-head of a Lieutenant." Sighed McCoy with a ghost of a smile for he instantly knew who it was that had beaten It'vek to a pulp.

" Indeed, Lt. Mirna Bansali has shown a great aptitude for hand to hand combat." Agreed Spock.

" She also knows how to put the final nail in the proverbial coffin. Spock, I can still hear her words in my head. I can still see those eyes glaring at me. Now I kinda wish she had knocked all of us on our asses instead of looking at us all like that before she stomped away with Commander Wilson." Said McCoy.

" For once Doctor, I find that I concur with you." Said Spock softly before both he and McCoy looked at Jim were he slept on in obliviousness.

" We screwed up big this time Spock, I don't think he's ever gonna forgive us." Said McCoy sadly as he eyes Jim's sleeping face.

" We shall have to gage his reaction to us when he wakes up but I will concur that it was indeed a grave error on my part and subsequently yours and the rest of the senior crews. It will be very difficult for him, and for all of us to get past this incident." Said Spock with just a hint of sadness coming through behind his deep almost black eyes.

" I get the feeling he won't be happy to see any of us when he does wake up." Sighed McCoy as his saddened eyes continued to gaze at his pale and hurt friend.

While Dr. McCoy and Spock were together by a sleeping Jim Kirk's side in the Sickbay recovery room other members of the Enterprises crew lay awake with sleep stubbornly eluding them.

In the Enterprise's engine room Lt. Cmdr Montgomery Scott worked diligently on the ships engines, checking and rechecking all systems and equipment parts. Most everyone else had gone to bed hours ago but for the Chief Engineer of the USS Enterprise, sleep would not come because his mind was plagued by vivid images of the horrible event that had transpired during the day. From the images of what the recording device had revealed to finding the Captain in the hands of that vile Antarian, to watching that same Antarian get reduced to a bloody mess on the floor, and then seeing the fiery bright amber eyes of the one who had saved Captain Kirk's life and done all but ripped apart It'vek gazing upon all of them with a look of utter disbelief and disgust.

Scotty could still hear that red-haired woman's words.

_Has Captain James Tiberius Kirk bled enough for all of you to find him innocent now? _

" Aye, I know he is innocent now. But I'll ne'er forgive meself for not thinkin' that from the very start." Said Scotty to himself before he dove back in to checking the wires of the Enterprise.

In the ship's deserted mess hall, Sulu and Chekov sat at a table, each nursing a cup of coffee that had long since gone cold. They didn't really have much to say. A lot had already been said and now in the dying embers of a day filled with fear, heartbreak, anger, harrowing situations, and a whole a whole lot of blood being spilled by both human and Antarian. Now Chekov and Sulu sat together and wondered what they could possibly say that could describe what they were feeling inside. They were also wondering just what they could say to the Captain they had so wrongfully treated with such disrespect while being totally blind to what had happened to him and the sorry physical state it had left him in.

" We should all be shipped off to a penal colony for what we've done." Said Sulu finally.

" No, ve should be sent to someplace ewen vorse than that." Said Chekov shakily.

In both of these men's minds, like the minds of the others, Lt. Mirna Bansali's parting words haunted them without mercy.

Had their Captain bled enough for them to realize his complete innocence. Yes, to Chekov and Sulu he had bled more than enough for anyone's liking. Now these two young men to who sleep had shown her rejection to, they believed whole heartedly that they were the one's who deserved to bleed for what they had done. They deserved to bleed, not their Captain.

While these two sat in desolation, all the way up in her quarters Lt. Nyota Uhura lay in her bed and stared up blankly at the plain ceiling above her. She had climbed into bed hours ago and yet here she lay wide awake. Her guilty conscience, much like those that the other members of the Enterprise's senior staff was not allowing for sleep to take hold. The second Uhura would close her eyes she would either see the image of her Captain's brutal violation at the hands of the Antarian, or she would see him the way he was when that same Antarian had taken him hostage, ghostly white and looking like he had been fast on his way into the arms of Hades.

With a small noise of frustration Uhura threw back the covers she was laying under and quickly climbed out of her bed. Pale blue eyes and deep fiery amber eyes were continuing to haunt the communications officer's mind. Uhura made a B-line for the bathroom attached to her bedroom. She stopped in front of the sink and pressed the button for some cold water to douse her face with. Once that was done Uhura quickly reached for a towel to dry her face with. As she stood up straight and dabbed the towel to her face, Uhura froze when her eyes caught her reflection in the mirror that stood above the sink.

The person who stared back at her was hardly the image of what Uhura normally saw herself to be. Her eyes were still slightly puffy and red, in the light her skin looked dull, and her eye, her eyes reminded her of a condemned prison just before their execution. Uhura slowly turned away from her own reflection and walked out of the bathroom. She made her way over to the bed and slowly sank down onto the edge of the soft mattress. As she sat words that had long since been said rose up in a loud, disjointed cacophony inside her head.

As she sat there Uhura could not find an answer to the question. Only more questions rose up inside of her. Like how she could have been so cruel and so stupid? Why hadn't she asked the Captain for his side of what had happened between him and Spock? Why hadn't she been there for him like he had been there for her and the others on countless occasions?

So many question but not an answer in sight.

That was how all of these sleepless individuals spent the remaining hours of the night, asking themselves why they had allowed all of this to happen to their Captain.

And in the very wee hours of the morning in the Sickbay where Commander Spock had already left and Dr. McCoy had just dozed off into a state between being really sleep and being fully awake still. He was totally unaware that eyes of the patient who's bedside he sat beside had begun to move rapidly beneath closed lids.

Signaling the return to consciousness.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

__

.

**Chapter 11  
**

.

" Hmm."

A small almost inaudible groan escaped Jim Kirk as his brow knitted together in a small frown. A few seconds later the young man's eye slowly opened to thin slits against the light. Everything was blurry and the dimmed light was harsh like a spotlight that shines over a stage. Jim Kirk slowly closed his barely open eyes and waited for them to adjust somewhat to the light. After several long moments had passed Jim gingerly let his eyes flutter back open. He blinked several times before finally being able to see clearly without the irritations.

Above him was darkened ceiling and there was a soft rhythmic beeping from somewhere above too.

Swallowing thickly Jim stared up straight ahead and waited for the foggy feeling that seemed tightly wrapped around his head to lift. A soft snore had Jim turning his head to the side. Jim felt a jolt pass through his whole body. A split second later Jim felt like his insides were slowly turning to ice as he took in Bones's sleeping form sitting beside his bed. In that moment everything that had happened came crashing back down on him ruthlessly. The monitor that was charged with keeping track of Jim's vital signs began to beep louder and faster, naturally in-tuned to the young man's rapidly accelerating heart beat.

Jim's eyes had grown wide and pain-filled as he stared at the sleeping countenance of his friend.

_" I can't be here, I can't stay here." _Thought Jim frantically.

He was on the verge of a full, crippling panic attack when Jim slowly forced himself to calm down as much as he could. Then clenching his jaw and remember his anger towards the individual sleeping in a chair beside his bed, Jim's panic dissipated completely. With his eyes hardening Jim turned his gaze away from Bones and turned it to the other side, taking a look around to get his bearings on where he was. He recognized it all now to be the recovery room of Sickbay. He was on the Enterprise.

Jim felt a momentary surge of relief at this, but it quickly turned into desolation as he remember how the people on board this ship, they people he had been in command of had treated him. He remember how they had all sided with who they had thought was the injured party, Spock. Jim felt his heart give an involuntary lurch at the very thought of the half-Vulcan who served as his First Officer, the one with whom he had shared nearly a year of his life with. He had come home to his lover looking for help and all he had gotten was condemnation from the Vulcan, from the rest of his crew.

They had all broken his trust, they had broken whatever was left that It'vek hadn't already destroyed.

Even the man who was now passed out but sitting faithfully by his side had blamed him.

Feeling like he was going to suffocate if he stayed here for even another second Jim made up his mind. Gritting his teeth Jim forced his slightly leaden feeling limbs to move. With painful slowness Jim pushed the covers that were tucked firmly around him off. The task left Jim dizzy with exhaustion, he waited for the dizziness to pass before even thinking about moving again. When he felt somewhat more clear headed Jim hiss softly as he rolled onto his side and then slowly swung his legs over the edge of the bed. With his body in pain at being contorted in such a fashion Jim gritted his teeth and used his arms to slowly push himself upright.

The second he was sitting Jim felt like someone had turned off the ships inertial dampeners. Then he remembered that the ship was probably still securely docked to the star base and wasn't actually moving to begin with. So it must have been him. Jim could tell that he was sick, he just felt completely awful and also really achy in certain areas. But he was glad that it wasn't like the pain he had been feeling all throughout the day up until the point It'vek had taken him hostage. As he remembered Jim's hand unconsciously went to his shoulder, his fingers found only flawless skin, no scratches.

So Bones had patched him up good then.

Jim could only feel the faintest stirrings of gratitude towards the Doctor in question. With that in mind Jim strengthened his resolve for the task at hand. Gritting his teeth Jim gingerly lowered his feet down till they were firmly on the floor. Then with a sharp inhale Jim forced himself to stand up, but a haunched over stance was the best he could do as his body violently protested against the use. Jim breathed through the pain and waited for it to dissipate to a dull ache before he took the first step. Then he took another and another, being as careful as he could as not to alert the sleeping doctor.

Jim felt a momentary surge of triumph as he reached the threshold of the Recovery room. With a fleeting glance at a blissfully snoring Bones, Jim stealthily made his escape from the Recovery Room and subsequently the Sickbay itself.

As he walked Jim wondered where he was gonna go and what he was going to do exactly. But he didn't regret getting out of Sickbay no matter how much his body didn't like it. Right now he just wanted solitude, he just wanted to not have to deal with his crew, see any of their faces, and most of he didn't want to hear their apologies. He just didn't want to do any of that right now, he just wanted get away from it all, everything from his the horrible events that had happened, the people who had more or less stomped and spit on all the trust he'd had in them, to his own feelings on the entire situation.

The people in question would be easy to get away from, but he knew that the other stuff were things he'd never be able to hide or run from, not unless he took some kind of mind altering agent or something like that.

So with all that in mind, Jim made his way through the deserted corridors of the Enterprise and headed of to find such a place of solitude. He couldn't really think of anywhere else to go so he figured he'd just go to his room, he'd just lock the door so that not even Spock could override and get in.

Some thirty minutes later back in Sickbay.

" Doctor McCoy."

A deep and stern voice had Bones abruptly coming out of his slumber and now falling all the way out of his chair.

" OW!" Cried the Doctor as he landed none too gently onto the floor.

He looked up from his rather undignified position on the floor and met the blank face but urgent looking eyes of one Commander Spock.

" What the hell is it man?" Asked the Doctor indignantly.

" It would appear that your patient has escaped from your care Dr. McCoy." Said Spock flatly while his dark eyes went to the recovery bed.

" What?" Said McCoy as he turned his head sharply and sure enough he was bed with an empty recovery bed.

No Jim Kirk to be seen anywhere.

" Shit." Swore Bones softly as he scrambled to his feet.

" He must've woken up after I dozed off and snuck out from right under my nose." Said Bones as he turned to Spock.

" We gotta find him quick, he's still fighting the infection and I need him back in here to give him his last hypo of antibiotics." Said Bones with a pleading look of urgency sent the Vulcan's way.

Spock merely nodded mutely and swiftly turned on his heels, leaving the Recovery room. Bones quickly followed after the Vulcan's long strides. The two men quickly exited the sickbay entirely and strode with purpose down the corridor, both pausing at one of the panels in the wall and preparing for a man hunt.

So it came as sort of anticlimactic when Spock stiffly asked the ship's computer for the location of Captain James T. Kirk to check if he was still actually on board the Enterprise itself and he received the following answer of...

_" Captain Kirk is in Observation Deck 15 located on ship's Level 21." _

Bones's knees went weak with the relief he was feeling while Spock merely closed his eyes and kept them closed for longer than a blink, breathing in deep before opening them a few seconds later. Without saying a word to each other the two men hurried off towards the turbo-lift. After a tense ride made to the level provided by the computer the two officers hurried out of the lift and all but ran as they had done hours ago on the Star base. The two men navigated through the long corridors until they caught sight of the open area that was just up ahead. Bones's face held an unhappy expression while Spock's eyes were the only thing to vaguely reveal his own discomfort. As they ran they couldn't help but notice how eerily similar the situation was to the event that had unfolded yesterday. Here they were running side by side desperate to get to Jim Kirk.

Only now they were on the Enterprise and there was no rapist on the loose, just a young man who somehow woke up and made a stealthy escape from the ship's sickbay and CMO just hours after surviving through emergency surgery and still suffering from the moderate infection that had settled in shortly after said surgery.

Spock and McCoy entered the observation deck quickly and came to a dead halt as they looked about the open area with frantic eyes. Then Spock spotted the lone blond figure standing tall and silent before one of the deck windows, clad in light blue sickbay patients attire with his back to them. Spock pulled lightly at McCoy' elbow to get the doctor's attention and them pointed to the window where the Deck's only other occupant was standing.

Feeling the need for caution, Bones and Spock slowly and silently made their way over to where the figure stood. They both came to stop a few feet away from the young man. It was Bones who broke the silence.

" Jim?" He asked very softly.

All he got in reply was dead silence from the young man in question who still had his back to them.

Bones chance another small step closer before he licked suddenly dry lips and spoke again.

" Jim, are you alright?" He asked.

This time both Bones and Spock received a reply.

A low, deep rumbling growl that any passerby would've believed was being made by an animal. But from where Bones and Spock stood they easily knew that the growling was coming from the young man who still refused to turn and acknowledge them. Bones felt the beginnings of dread at this sound while Spock remained outwardly passive, inside he too began to cringe.

Then the blond standing before the window slowly began to turn around.

Bones and Spock both flinched in their own way when Jim finally turned all the way around and faced them.

Striking blue eyes that were usually so filled with life, so warm and charismatic now stared at them slightly gray with dullness and so cold they seemed like they had been carved from of the cliff of Delta Vega. They seemed to star right through Bones and Spock. These eyes were encased by a ghostly pale face that was so devoid of emotion it would've made a Vulcan envious. And there was a faint sheen to the pale white skin, signaling that a low fever from the infection still lived beneath the surface.

For the better part of an eternity Jim simply stared at them with cold blankness. Then he was moving, stepping away from the window and closing the distance till he was a mere half an arms length away from his First officer and CMO. Several long seconds passed by with Jim silent as a corpse and all but boring holes into Bones and Spock with his icy blue gaze. Then without saying a word the young Captain sidestepped his First officer and Chief medical office and calmly walked away down the corridor that they had all come through to get to the Observation deck.

A very shaken Bones let out the breath he had been unconsciously holding while Spock wordlessly turned on his heels and followed after Jim. Bones scrambled after the two of them. Spock and Bones walked side by side, keeping a respectable distance from Jim who clearly did not want them anywhere near him.

And so Jim Kirk made his way back to sickbay on his own steam with Bones and Spock far enough away like he wanted but close enough to aid him should he need it.

Jim walked through the sickbay door and startled the few Nurses there who had just come in to start another day's work. Jim ignored everyone completely and made his way through sickbay towards the Recovery room door at the very end of it. Bones and Spock quickened their steps to catch up with their Captain. The two of them had just entered the Recovery room when a voice started them.

" Close the door." Ordered Jim, his voice rough and gravelly from where he sat over the edge of the bed he had been laying in not too long ago.

Spock nodded and pressed the button for the door on the wall panel. The door slid shut with a soft hiss leaving only the three of them in the privacy the room offered.

Jim slowly rose to his feet and closed the distance between himself and his two officers. He came to stand an arms length away from them and with a frigid stare aimed at Bones and completely ignoring Spock, Jim spoke.

" I was drugged and raped by an Antarian Ambassador just the night before, afterwards I came back to this ship and went to my Lover and First Officer for help. He took one look at me, packed up all of his things, and left me there in my quarter. I guess he only smelled the alien stink on me and not the blood that was pouring out of the cuts I had been left with. And then when I get onto the Bridge the next morning I find that my entire Bridge crew shared the same sentiment and my First Officer, even my CMO whom I thought of as one of my closest friend agreed that I was nothing more than a cheating slut who'd spread is legs for anyone. Then my crew decide to go on without me to the reception hall where all I could feel was the terror of knowing that the evil son of a bitch that raped be could be somewhere in that crowd of people. No one would speak to me, no one would come near me. I was hurting and starting to feel sicker with each passing minute, I leave the party and just wander about til I find a nice quiet spot away from it all. The next thing I know I have claws digging into my shoulder and It'vek, that sick bastard is grinning at me like he just won the lottery and looking like he wanted to have a second go. You all know what happened after that. Some pretty red-head saves my life and everything goes dark after that. Then I am waking up here in this room with you snoring away next to me Dr. McCoy." Said Jim with his eyes suddenly going from icy cold blue to nearly glowing white with unbridled rage. He paused a moment to draw in a deep breath and then, glaring at Bones with all he had in him he spoke.

" You asked just now if I was alright. Well Doctor, how the fuck do you think I am you backstabbing son of a bitch?" Asked Jim with a snarl through gritted teeth. His hands were clenched into tight and trembling fists at his side as he seethed in rightful anger.

Bones felt the bottom of his stomach drop out and he averted his eyes to the floor in shame. He couldn't come up with anything to say and what could he possibly say to all that.

Then Jim's glaring eyes fell on the seemingly emotionless face and stiffly held form of his First Officer. Just seeing the one who had doled out a more grievous injury to him than that Antarian pervert had done, had Jim's rage soaring to new and unheard of levels. Taking in deep rattling breath Jim rounded on the half-Vulcan, taking a step closed and looking Spock dead in the eye as he let him have it.

" Ten months of my life I devoted to you, and when I needed you the most, just packed all of your things and left without so much as a glance back. Was I that much of a whore in your eyes? And now you actually have the gall to show your face to me after you walked out on me. You just smelled the filth that pervert left on me and instantly assumed that I had gone off and enjoyed myself like a good little whore. Ten months Spock, ten fucking months, and you deduced that I would willingly throw away everything that we had together for some blue-scaled alien pervert?" Asked Jim, his voice eerily calm and deadly, while his normally blue eyes seemed to have bleached to white as they smoldered with unspeakable rage as they glared at Spock.

Though Spock's face remained carefully neutral, his eyes gave away the naked malestrom of emotions the swirled around inside of him at Jim's harsh words. After a moments hesitation the half-Vulcan parted his lips and began to speak softly.

" T'hy'la please, I am- "

Spock's words were abruptly cut off with a low grunt as an unforgiving fist struck him across the face with a surprising amount of force.

" Don't you dare call me that." Hissed Jim as he lowered the fist he had used to deck Spock soundly in the face.

Bones had gasped at the display and now stood in wide-eyed shock because of all the things he thought he never see, it was Jim striking Spock like that. Spock's jaw ached dully from the blow and on the inside the Vulcan felt a white hot pain radiate from his heart to the rest of his very being as he stood there and eyed the angry human who had struck him.

Then the rage in those nearly white eyes dissipated a little, morphing into look of pain and utter devastation swimming in bitter salt as Jim spoke.

" You told me that T'hy'la is the Vulcan word for something that is precious, something that is meant to be cherished, beloved. You proved to me that I was nothing like that to you, you threw me away, turned your back on me when I came to you. You didn't even let me open my mouth to ask you for help. You left me. You _abandoned _me. I am not your T'hy'la, you made it clear to me that I never was." He said softly now, which to both Spock and McCoy was far worse then when he had been roaring in all his rage.

Suppressing the suddenly and all consuming urge to collapse onto the floor and actually die right then and there, Jim bit back the sob that threatened to escape him and turned away from Spock and Bones.

" The both of you for the immediate future, will show your faces to me unless it is absolutely necessary. Pass that along to the rest of the crew. For the remainder of my stay here in sickbay, I will let the nurses treat me but you will keep a sizable distance from me, is that clear Dr. McCoy?" Ordered Jim.

Feeling like wanting to sink into the ground himself, McCoy forced himself to speak through his throat that had constricted painfully in his own despair.

" Y-Yes, understood Captain." He said, barely managing to sound formal.

" I will..." Spock began before lightly clearing his throat before continuing.

" I will pass your request on to the crew, your wishes will be respected, Captain." He said softly.

Still not turning around to look at them, Jim spoke.

" That is satisfactory Commander, Doctor. Now please leave and close the door behind you." He said mechanically.

" A nurse will be in to give you your last dose of antibiotics... Captain." Said Bones quickly as he felt himself start to crumble from the inside out.

Spock's almost black eyes lingered on his Captain for several long moments before he turned smartly on his heals and made his way over to the panel and pressed the button to unlock the door. When the door opened Spock made a hasty exit and Bones quickly followed in his wake. Then the door to the Recovery room slid shut again with a soft hiss.

It was then that Jim Kirk nearly bent over double and let a sob escape him. With tears surging up and burning his eyeballs, Jim staggered over to his medical bed and promptly collapsed onto it.

Curling up into a fetal positon Jim's body shook with each sob that wracked it as his heart and his soul felt like they were dying all over again.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_._

**Chapter 12  
**

.

Pale blue eyes stared blankly at the Recovery room wall. Jim Kirk lay on his side on one of the recovery beds. He was simply laying there breathing softly and with his mind mulling over the many unhappy thoughts that had naturally filled his mind after the ordeal he had been through and was still recovering from. It was late afternoon now on his second day here in Sickbay. One of the Nurses had just been by to give him his cursory check-up and deliver him his lunch of the expected bland looking hospital food. He hadn't even sparred the tray that had been left on the small wheeled table the barest of glances, he had simply laid down and begun staring at the wall in relative silence.

As per his orders no one was going to come into the Recovery room until many hours had passed, until it was well into the evening hours and it would be time for dinner and his third and final check-up of the day. To his grim satisfaction Bones had obeyed him and made himself quite scarce and the members of his senior staff, mainly a certain half-Vulcan First Officer had wisely not come to see him though he knew full well that they were all dying to visit him and stutter out their apologies to him.

Jim Kirk dismissed the thought, he wasn't ready to face his crew and he sure as hell wasn't ready to hear apology after apology, not now at least.

And so for the better part of an hour after his lunch had been served, Jim just laid there staring at the wall and wonder what he was going to do now. He knew full well that he couldn't just go back to work, there was no way anyone would find him not emotionally compromised. Along with his work life in limbo there was also his personally life, Bones had been and probably always would be his best friend, Spock was his First Officer, and if he was honest with himself he still had feelings for the half-Vulcan. Ten months worth of a relationship may have been shattered, but the abrupt destruction hadn't dissolved all the feelings that were there. Jim still loved that ever logical, pointy-eared hobgoblin despite how badly things had turned out between them. Then there was the rest of the crew from Uhura, to Scrotty, Sulu, and Chekov. The way they had acted was damn near insubordination and he still had a hard time wrapping his head around how they could've behaved so foolishly on a star ship, the flag ship of Starfleet itself. Jim was beyond disappointed in them, especially the older members Scotty, Uhura, and Sulu. Surely they would've known better than to act the way they did, glaring at their Captain or being so stiff and stand offish the entire bridge could see it, or actually getting up and leaving entirely without so much as acknowledging their Captain when he'd come onto the bridge to start the day. Jim left Chekov out because the guy was in fact still a teenager, a kid who would naturally go with the flow of majority. And he hadn't actually behaved badly, he'd simply looked uncomfortable if Jim's memory served him correctly.

At this rate Jim Kirk was going to spend the rest of the day thinking about why and how he had found himself in such a situation, but as fate would have it that was not the case as a soft chime from the closed Recovery room door yanked the young man out of his dark thoughts.

Jim first looked over his shoulder before pushing himself up to a sitting position on the bed. Wondering who it was because the Nurse had just been in Jim lightly cleared his throat before speaking louder.

" Enter." He said to the Enterprise's computer.

With a soft chirp the door to the Recovery room slid open with a soft hiss, revealing the familiar face that stood behind it.

" Ambassador A'tal." Said Jim softly as he gazed at the weathered, scaly face of the kind Antarian elder. Seeing this highly respected delegate had Jim Kirk slowly but surely climbing to his feet with a small grimace. He was still sore in some rather embarrassing places. But he gritted his teeth and stood up for the old man none the less.

Once he was standing Jim watched as Ambassador A'tal quietly stepped into the room. The young Captain of the Enterprise felt a jolt go through him when he realized that the Ambassador had not come to see him alone, a young lady with striking red hair silently stepped into the Recovery room close behind the Antarian elder. Jim took one look at the woman and knew instantly who she had been.

The amber eyed woman who had saved him from imminent death at the hands of It'vek just days ago.

Jim took an unconscious step forward and quickly focused his eyes on the Ambassador so that he wouldn't look like he was gawking at the red-head.

The three of them came to stand in the open areas of the room, Captain Kirk by the bed, Ambassador A'tal facing Kirk and arms length, and to Kirk the still nameless woman who he owed his life to stood a few feet away from them both. It was Ambassador A'tal who spoke first.

" Good afternoon Captain Kirk, I trust that you are recovering well from your harrowing ordeal?" He asked softly while his weathered gray eyes quietly looked the young man who stood before him over.

" I am recovering as well as can be expected Ambassador. I am always happy to be in your company sir." Answered Jim with a wane smile.

" I am glad to hear of that much, but I find myself feeling quite ashamed as I stand here before you Captain Kirk, and we all know why." Said A'tal gravely.

Jim averted his gaze to the floor for a moment and nodded his head in silent agreement before bringing his gaze back up to meet the elder Antarian's gaze.

" Captain, I have personally come to inform you that the other delegates and I have all come to an agreement and signed off on the treaty with the Federation for the vaccines that are needed in the Colneck system. It was the least we could do after the shameful acts one of our own committed against you." Said A'tal.

" Thank you sir." Said Jim quietly.

A'tal nodded and then spoke.

" Oh and, I took the liberty of bringing along the young lady behind me, we were both very eager to see you." Said A'tal with a small smile as he looked over his shoulder to the red-head.

Jim felt a smile tugging at the corners of his own lips, a warm feeling spreading through him as the red head wordlessly stepped forward to join them.

It was Jim who spoke first.

" I remember you quite vividly, but I'd feel better if I could have your name." Said Jim as he took a step closer to the woman.

" I am Lt. Mirna Bansali. It is a pleasure to meet you under less dire circumstances sir." Said Lt. Bansali quietly.

" Likewise Lieutenant." Answered Kirk as he held out his hand to the woman and gave it a hearty shake, a part of him wanted to just pull her into a tight hug and not let go for a long time but he thought better of it, that would not have be very professional of him, he was a Captain after all. He convey his gratitude to her through his words then.

And so for the better part of the remaining hours of the afternoon Jim Kirk allowed himself to enjoy the company of the elder Antarian Ambassador and the young Lieutenant who had saved his life. They shared an easy conversation with each other and nearly lost track of time. Jim felt lighter with having simply talked to someone, anyone even though he hadn't exactly broached the proverbial elephant in the room it still felt nice to get a few smaller things off his chest. And it gave him a chance to thank and get to know the young woman who had stopped It'vek from murdering him.

He found out that she herself was leaving the Star base and heading back to Earth in a few days. She had been temporarily assigned here after several members of the Star bases surveillance staff had come down with a strange virus that turned out to me Gestaltian Flu, nasty but not life threatening. Perhaps it really had been fate that she had been the one in the video security room that day. Now she said she was going back to the Academy to retake her position there.

As a combat instructor.

Before they all knew it nearly three hours had passed by and Jim had somehow in the course of that eaten his lunch which he had set out to ignore. The Ambassador may have had a subtle hand in that endeavor.

With great reluctance the Ambassador and the Lieutenant both stood to tae their leave of the Captain.

But before he left, Ambassador A'tal gave Jim some parting words.

" The road ahead of you will be difficult Captain Kirk, and though I know full well that you are far from any semblance of fine I know that you will ultimately recover from all that had happened. And this old man requests that you allow yourself time to heal and remember that none of this is your fault before you even think of taking the first steps towards forgiving those who had wronged you, and you know full well of which individuals I speak of. But for now all I can say is that I wish you all the best, and that I am sorry, more sorry then I have ever been in all my years."

Then the Ambassador had ducked away before Jim could give him a response and tell the elder that he had nothing to apologize for.

Lt. Bansali simply nodded her head and gave him a smile, albeit a sad one before she too left.

Jim Kirk now found himself alone once again, with only his own thoughts to keep him company. He still had no idea where he was going to go from here and what he was going to do with both his professional and his personal lives.

_Two days later..._

Commander Spock sighed softly to himself where he sat in the Captain's chair on board the USS Enterprise. He was now acting Captain of the ship and at the moment they were going through the standard disengaging procedures that would detach the Enterprise from it's anchoring to the Star base. It had been nearly a week since the real Captain of the Enterprise had been viciously attacked by a perverted Antarian Ambassador. At the moment James T. Kirk was still in Sickbay recovering from the horrible incident, Dr. McCoy deciding to keep him there for a little longer as the infection he had been suffering from was slowly clearing up.

Everyone on board was subdued and worried about the Captain. Dr. McCoy had not left Sickbay once even though Captain Kirk had not wanted to see hide or head from him. The day before orders had come in from Starfleet Command. After verifying with an unhappy Dr. McCoy that Captain Kirk was more than stable enough for travel, Command had told Spock that they still had a mission that needed to be completed. They still needed to get the much need Vaccines given by the Antarian government delivered to Starfleet outpost 39 in the Colneck system.

After that was done Spock couldn't help but be uncertain as to what would happen.

Spock could still feel a ghost of sting to his cheek from Jim's emotional outburst. The blow itself was a minor hurt, but the internal hurt that it had stirred up had been a great deal, Spock had to admit to himself but at the moment he shook himself out of his thought of the situation his personal life he now found himself in. He instead focused all his mind on the task at hand. He was acting Captain after all and there was a mission that needed to be completely.

With that in mind Commander Spock straightened up in the Captain's chair and took a quiet glance about the Enterprise's main bridge. Lt. Uhura worked diligently at her communications station, her appearance was more subdued like her mood, she wasn't wearing much makeup and her ears were devoid of the large earrings that usually adorned them proudly. At his console Scotty sat completely still which in itself didn't look right because the man was usually near bouncing with energy, now he sat there working with his mouth held in an unhappy line with none of the animation his entire face usually held. And finally, at the ship's helm Ensign Chekov and Lt. Sulu sat in silence, their fingers rapidly moving over their consoles as they prepared to pilot the ship once it was no longer anchored. They usually had an easy banter going about them but now there was nothing, just a subdued looking Lieutenant and a downright sad looking Ensign.

It was quite clear that everyone was missing a certain blond haired, blue eyed, charismatic Captain of theirs.

Then there was a loud sound, like the hiss of a suction being pulled off followed by the sound of metal slowly retracting. It was the signal that the USS Enterprise had successfully parted from the Star base dock.

With that in mind Commander Spock turned his dark eyed gaze to the two individuals sitting before him at the Conn.

" Mr. Chekov, please set coordinates for the Colneck system." He order flatly.

" Aye sir, laying in coorse now." Acknowledged Chekov, then a few second later he turned to Spock and spoke again.

" Coorse haze bin layed in Sir."

" Thank you Mr. Chekov. Mr. Sulu." Called Spock.

" Yes sir?" Asked Sulu.

" Take us out of here, warp factor 3. We have an urgent delivery to make." Ordered Spock as he sat back a little in the chair.

" Aye sir, warp factor 3" Acknowledged Sulu.

A few second later the ship jerked as it entered warp and disappeared into the vastness of space, leaving the Star base behind. As the stars all blurred past them on the screen, Spock's mind drifted unbidden to the more serious issues at hand. And for all who were on duty on the main bridge and through out the whole ship there was a universal thought in their minds.

It was going to be a very long four days to the Colneck system.

Very long.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_._

**Chapter 13  
**

.

A soft sigh escaped Jim Kirk as he sat by the large arched window inside his bedroom. It was late in the hour and most of the ship was dormant with only the skeleton crew keeping silent watch over everything and guiding the ship through open space. No matter how hard he had tried sleep just hadn't come to the young man. It hadn't been coming ever since he had left Sickbay the week before. He had hardly left his room at all since his release. He had kept all contact with anyone to the barest minimum. And after everything that had happened could he have been blamed for not wanting to see anyone? The only ones who he did have contact with were the Nurses sent from sickbay to check up on his physical condition. But even they knew to get in and out quickly and leave him be.

He was a mess really. He was still angry there was no doubt, but it had receded from the explosive rage he had showcased back in sickbay. Now that anger was a quiet one, the kind that came off as coldness, as distance, as empty silence. And besides that he was more devastated than anything else, locked in a deep despair that anyone who was violated in any way would feel. He was angry at the one who had done those horrible things to him, he was angry at his First Officer and lover, along with the senior members of his crew who had all jumped to the one conclusions that he had returned to his promiscuous ways, and he was angry at himself for not fighting back harder, for not being able to have at the very least saved himself.

Now he was left to pick up the jagged pieces of himself and try to put them back together first. He knew full well that to do this he needed the help of others, of those closest to him. But he would never forget and he wasn't ready to forgive just yet. It was all too soon for those things. Right now he was just this miserable wreck of a man with only his own solitude while on this medical leave to keep him company.

With this solitude Jim Kirk settled in for yet another sleepless night. At least he would be nightmare free.

When another week of this had passed by, one member of the crew finally gathered up the courage to actually face the Captain. It was early afternoon and Jim was just about to get a light lunch of soup from his personal replicator when there was an unexpected knock on the door to his quarters. Feeling curious as to who it was Jim came to stand before the door to his quarters and pushed the button on the small panel to open it. When the door slid away Jim found himself face to face with the last person he thought he'd ever see.

A very, very, very nervous looking Ensign Pavel Chekov. The young curly haired teenager stood out in the hallway looking rather pale and holding a tray piled with some rather appetizing food between his lightly trembling hands.

"G-Gud af-afternoon Ceptin Kirk." Stuttered Chekov.

Jim just stared at the kid for several long moment before he finally spoke.

" Hello Ensign Chekov, what brings you here?" He asked.

" I... I vas... I vas vondering if ve could haf lunch together sir." Said Chekov haltingly and if it were possible he looked even more nervous with each word he spoke.

Jim was silent for several longs seconds, just staring and blinking slowly at the young man standing before him as he processed his words. The Jim swallowed thickly and spoke.

" Y-Yeah sure, come on in." Said Jim as he stepped aside.

Fidgeting nervously Chekov hesitantly stepped over the threshold into the Captain's quarters.

" You can set that down on the table over there and have a seat." Said Jim as he gestured to the small table near one of the walls of the living room area.

Chekov nodded and hurried off to do as he was instructed while Jim pressed the button to close the door. When Jim turned he saw Chekov sitting in one of the chairs like he had told him to, he was ringing his hands together nervously in his lap. Deciding not to delay any further Jim made his way over to the table and took up the seat across from the young Ensign. The two young men sat facing each other, Jim staring right at Chekov and Chekov barely meeting his was Jim who finally broke the painfully awkward silence.

" So, what's on the menu?" He asked as he eyed the near mountain of food that Chekov had brought with him.

" Oh, vell you see I... I did not know vhat you vould haf liked so I... Vell I sort of vent and brought a little bit of everything from the mess hall." Answered Chekov sheepishly.

" Clearly. Well then let's dig in." Said Kirk with a tiny smile as he reached for one of the sandwiches from the pile, turned out to be pastrami.

Chekov nodded and reached for a sandwich as well and also took the small carton full of chicken and egg salad. With a small nod to each other the two young men began to eat in silence. After a few bites of his sandwich, Jim finally looked up and spoke to his lunch companion.

" So who put you up to this?" He asked.

Chekov's hand froze midway to sending a fork full of chicken salad into his mouth as he looked up at his Captain.

" Vhat? oh! Nyet, no, no. Nobody put me up to this, actually most everyone tried to talk me out of wisiting you sir." He said with a faint blush tinting his cheeks.

" You were all afraid I was gonna bite your head off the second I laid eyes on you?" Asked Jim knowingly.

Chekov blushed even darker before he mutely nodded his head. With a small sigh Jim set the sandwich in his hands down and leaned back in his chair as he spoke.

" I'm still pretty angry, but not to where I'm gonna blow my top at you. It's simmered down somewhat and I'm really mostly angry at It'vek cause he was the one who did it all." Here Jim paused and sighed before he looked Chekov square in the eye and spoke the honest to God truth from his own heart.

" I'm not mad at you anymore Ensign Chekov, I think to me you were the first and the easiest to forgive."

Jim watched as Chekov inhaled sharply and his big puppy-dog like eyes grew wide and very shiny with tears. A second later he watched as the young man's, the boy's really, lower lip began to tremble violently. The next thing Jim knew he found himself with his arms full of sobbing teenage Russian Ensign.

" Captain Kirk, prastee, prastee meenya pozhalosta! I'm so sorry sir, pleeze, pleeze forgive me, I am so sorry." Cried Chekov as he sobbed.

Jim Kirk was a little stunned but he quickly recovered and returned Chekov's surpisingly strong embrace, while also standing up all the way. He patted the young man on the back awkwardly several timed before he gently loosened the Ensign's grip on him a little and pulled back slightly so that he could be look eye to eye at Chekov as he spoke.

" Chekov, though I appreciate the impromptu hug I would like it more if you would stop crying, it's not a good look on you." Said Jim Kirk, completely serious.

" Oh!" Exclaimed Chekov as he realized in complete horror how unprofessional he was being. He was an Ensign after all and right now he was doing a fine impression of a beartrap on his Captain, his paramount commanding officer. Chekov said something fast in Russian and then quickly released his hold around Jim, he stood before his Captain with such a look of sheer mortification on his face that Jim Kirk just couldn't help it.

He started laughing, just soft snickering at first that turned into a full uplifting guffaw. Jim collapsed into the chair he had been sitting in and let the laughter wash over him. God it felt like heaven itself it was that good. Chekov just stood there and gawked at his Captain, completely in awe because of all the things he had expected to happen during this risky visit to his recovering Captain, seeing him smile and laugh like he was doing now had not even entered his mind as a remote possibility.

Slowly but surely Jim sobered up, though the grin that graced his lips did not fade away, only softened to a quiet smile as he looked up at Chekov.

" I already told you that I have forgiven you Ensign Chekov, you were the first one I have. You didn't outright disrespect me like some of your older colleagues, you just looked uncomfortable and I will whole heartedly say that it was indeed a very uncomfortable situation we all found ourselves in. Now I suggest you dry off those tears and finish having lunch with me." Said Jim as he picked up his pastrami sandwich.

Chekov blinked and then started lightly before he nodded vigorously and spoke.

" Yes sir!" He acknowledged like he was on the main bridge and then he quickly sat down.

" Relax man." Ordered Jim with a warm smile before he went about finishing his sandwich.

Scrubbing away the tear tracks that stained his face Chekov nodded wordlessly and picked up his fork to resume eating his salad. They ate in comfortable silence until Jim piped up and asked the younger man about the happens about the ship that had been going on in his absence. Though he still winced every now and then at the unavoidable mention of a certain pointy-eared commander, Jim listened with full interest and attention as the young helmsman dutifully regaled him with as much detail as he could about the daily happenings on the main bridge. Things were quiet and subdued, and it made Jim Kirk feel many different emotions when from the way Chekov was describing it, everyone was missing him, missing him a lot it would seem.

All too soon the quiet lunch together had to come to an end and the Ensign had to go back to work. Jim bid the young Ensign a fond farewell and thanked him for bringing him an impromptu yet quite tasty lunch. Kirk had to admit the kid had guts.

For the first time in a long while Jim Kirk started to feel more like himself again after that. And apparently Chekov's rather brave actions started a trend because a few days later Jim Kirk was opening his door again one evening, this time to find a very nervous looking Lt. Hikaru Sulu standing in the doorway with the hopes that the on medical leave Captain would join him in the recreation rooms for a sparring session in fencing. Jim's first instinct was to shut the door in Sulu's face but then with reluctance he told Sulu to come in and wait while he got into some workout gear. After he was ready the two of them headed down to the Rec-rooms and each had donned the proper safety gear picked up a blunt sword and took up their positions, facing one another. When the buzzer signaling the start of the round sounded Jim and Sulu went at it. Before the big fiasco the two of them had spent a good amount of time with Sulu teaching Jim the ropes as it were. Jim still retained that and he went at Sulu with the best. Both knew that this was their way of reconciling with each other and letting go of any remaining animosity with each blow. It was a cathartic release for them both and it ended with the two of them sprawled out on the soft mats beside one another, completely exhausted and now, okay with each other. Sulu had taken off his helmet to properly voice his apologies to his Captain but Jim had quieted him and told him that it wasn't all that necessary. He told Sulu not to ever speak with him in the tone he had used that day ever again and that was it. They went back to sparring with each other a few minutes after, this time they focused simply on enjoying themselves in each others company.

After Sulu came a pensive looking Scotty with Keenser in tow one night, baring a bottle of fresh engine made moonshine from his secret distillery. Not one to turn down a good drink Jim let them in. Sure enough all three of them had gotten totally wasted that night. And in the midst of the alcohol induced euphoria Scotty had hiccuped out a very heartfelt apology which Jim sadly would have barely any memory of. They had settled into drunken giggle and antics, Keenser himself had attempted to do a back hand spring and all he got for his efforts was a near concussion. When morning came Jim awoke to a splitting headache and when he had stumbled out of his bedroom he found a deeply hung over Scotty and still out cold Keenser sharing his couch. Needless to say Scotty had been late in getting to his duty shift that day while Keenser had decided to stay and keep Jim company, while the little green teddy bear lizard combo was suffering from a massive hangover of his own.

And then finally, in the few days after that when Jim had finally started venturing out of his room on his own a certain communications officer cornered him in one of the turbo-lifts. Jim had stared at Uhura and Uhura had stared at Jim. To say that this was awkward as hell was an understatement. And then Uhura started stammering out her apologies so rapidly Jim was left thinking she had ingested every last drop from the mess-hall coffee maker. Maybe she had taken in copious amounts of caffeine in order to steady her nerves and actually face him.

" Lieutenant please, calm down and speak slowly you aren't making any sense to me here." Ordered Jim.

Uhura abruptly fell silent and then very quietly she spoke this time thankfully not going a mile a second.

" I'm sorry sir, I just... I'm very ashamed of myself for the way I behaved with you. It was unbecoming of a member of Starfleet and it was also foolish of me to just jump to conclusions like I had. It was wrong of me and I'm truly sorry, Captain." She said looking more sincere than he had ever seen her in all the time he had known her.

Jim for his part was silent for a long moment, just taking in the woman standing across from him. She looked awful with bags under her eyes, hardly any makeup, no earrings, her eyes shiny with the tell-tale signs of her sincere remorse. In that moment Jim remember the way these same eyes had looked that day, glaring and filled with disgust all directed at him. But it was a fleeting thought that quickly faded as Jim met her gaze in the here and now. Taking in a deep breath Jim finally spoke.

" I accept your apologies Lieutenant Uhura. But I will give you this warning once, and only once. You ever jump to premature conclusions and look at me like you did that day on the bridge there will be Hell to pay. We are all members of Starfleet and I was your Captain then and I am your Captain now, you will not disrespect me like that again is that clear?" Said Jim meaning ever single word with an icy dead serious stare.

" Quite clear sir and I will remember. Thank you for accepting my apologies." Said Uhura looking very relieved.

Jim nodded and then with a sigh he reached for the button and unfroze the turbo-lift. The two of them stood together in still awkward silence until Jim decided to break it. Remembering something from before this whole mess, he turned to Uhura and spoke.

" Will you still teach me Segramian?" He asked totally out of the blue.

Naturally Uhura was caught off guard by the question.

" What?" She asked with her brow knitted in confusion.

" Before all the crap that happened, you said that I needed to learn the language of the Segrams', the famed intellectual people of the Inctus System who have a rather uncanny resemblance to tuna fish, will you still teach it to me?" Reiterated Jim feeling mildly amused.

Uhura made this soft noise and now looked like she really was going to burst into tears. Thankfully she regained her composure and spared Jim from having to deal with anymore tears, Chekov had been more than enough. But her eyes still held a tell-tale brightness to them as she nodded her head and spoke.

" Of course sir, whenever you want to start just let me know."

Jim nodded and then turned when the lift came to a stop at the deck he was planning to go to. With a small nod Jim stepped out and went about a pace before he turned to look and Uhura over his shoulder as he suddenly spoke.

" Hey can we start with you teaching me their insults first?" He asked with a smirk just barely veiled beneath the look of absolute seriousness he had plastered onto his face.

Uhura's eyes blew wide open and her mouth fell agape as his words registered but before she could say anything the door to the lift was sliding shut with a soft hiss. Jim finally let a small grin spread across his face when just before the lift door shut between them he heard Uhura's breathless little laugh and then she was gone leaving Jim to himself.

With a quiet chuckle Jim turned and headed off down the corridor towards one of the observations deck for some quiet time to himself. Indeed Captain James T. Kirk was on the fast track to getting back to his old self but he was far from all the way okay. There were still two certain individuals who had yet to show their faces and extend their proverbial olive branches.

And Jim knew that they were the ones whom he needed to forgive the most. But at the same time he knew as well they would also be the hardest ones to let back in.

* * *

Author's note:_ prastee meenya pozhalosta _in Russian= _Please forgive me_ in english

.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_._

**Chapter 14  
**

.

As fate had an ever peculiar way of making all things in the Universe work out the opportunity for Jim to finally face one of the only two members of his senior crew who had not yet reached out to him arrived one quiet afternoon completely out of the blue and rather painfully so. Jim had just finished up with a light lunch and had now decided to do some light cleaning around the place. He was dusting near one of the shelves that held several artifacts, mementos from some of the many worlds the Enterprise had visited throughout her travels. He was dusting with as much grace as a man such as himself possessed, which wasn't much.

Jim was oblivious that he was using a little too much force in his cleaning strokes. And unfortunately for him one of the mementos, a medium sized heavy stone statue adorned with rather sharp looking spikes all over its head somehow managed to be standing way too close to the edge of the shelf that hung right above where he was bent over, lost in his task of dusting. Now to anyone with even the most primitive knowledge about the laws of physics, it was quite clear what was about to unfold in the coming few minutes.

With each stroke of his hand an unsuspecting Jim Kirk brought the spike covered artifact closer and closer to the edge of the shelf till it's base was just about halfway out from the edge, making it so that only a little bit of force would be needed for it to tip over. And sure enough on the next stroke of his hand Jim applied a little too much force than he should have. Naturally Newton's third law kicked in, for every action there was an equal and opposite reaction. In this case Jim's action of wiping too hard one too many times caused an equal and opposite reaction in the form of the spike covered statue tipping over all the way and falling spiked head first by the pull of gravity, right onto Jim Kirk.

" Ahhhooow!" Cried out Jim as he shoulder suddenly exploded in white hot agony.

Jim instinctively reached up to his shoulder and felt his stomach clench lightly when his fingers came away wet and sticky with dark crimson liquid. Jim blinked and stared at his hand for several longs seconds. Then a dark shape caught the lower corner of his eye. Feeling the pain in his shoulder slowly radiating outwards towards the rest of his body Jim looked down and saw the spike covered statue where it had landed on the gray carpeted floor after hitting him. Several of its wicked looking spike tips were shining with dark red.

" Damn it." Hissed Jim before he forced himself into action.

With a sound of pained annoyance Jim quickly made his way to the bathroom and stood with his back to the mirror, he craned his neck over his injured shoulder to assess the damage. There was a tell-tale deep red circular stain on the light gray T-shirt he was wearing and it was slowly growing bigger with each passing second.

" Shit." Swore Jim softly. He could tell from the tears in his shirt that he probably had some deep puncture wounds to his shoulder and they were bleeding quite moderately.

Knowing that he couldn't take care of this by himself Jim sighed deep and quickly grabbed up a towel from the stack that stood on a small table by the wall he was facing. Wincing lightly Jim pressed the soft cloth to his wounded shoulder gritting his teeth at the sharp pain this action caused. With a final glance at his now towel covered shoulder in the mirror Jim hurriedly left the bathroom and then his quarters entirely. He made quick work of getting to the nearest turbo-lift and once inside he pressed the button for the deck his intended destination was located on.

As the turbo-lift began moving downward Jim hissed again from the sharp sting coming from his injured shoulder. When the door to the lift opened again Jim stepped out and rushed down the corridor towards the familiar doors of Sickbay. As he walked Jim felt his stomach tie itself into knots for a whole different reason than his fresh and very painful injury. Steeling himself Jim walked through the doors.

Dr. McCoy had been preparing a fresh batch of vitamin filled hyposprays when the sound of the Sickbay's main doors opening caught his ear. Naturally turning to see who the visitor was the Doctor gasped softly when he saw that it was one James T. Kirk.

" Jim what...?" McCoy began to ask when his voice died in his throat as Jim pulled the hand he had been using to press a towel to his shoulder with away and held it up palm out for the doctor to see.

McCoy felt his gut turn to ice within seconds as his eyes took in the deep red stains across Jim's fingers. Then McCoy's instincts as a doctor took over.

" Jesus Jim, what the hell happened?" Asked McCoy loudly as he rushed forward to Jim's side.

As he let the Doctor pull him over to one of the exam tables Jim began to explain.

" I was just cleaning the window sill in my quarters one second and the next my shoulder's exploding in pain. I reach up to see what state my shoulder is in and my hands come away bloodied. Then I see one of the statues I keep on that shelf laying on the floor nearby. This statue's the one with all those spikes on its head. It must've tipped over the edge of the shelf while I was wiping down the place and the spikes nailed me bad." Gritted out Jim as McCoy helped him climb onto the exam table.

" Damn it Jim, this looks bad. You're gonna have to loose the shirt." Said McCoy in that soft, gruff way of his as he sent Jim an apologetic look.

Despite the moderate amount of pain he was in Jim couldn't help but latch onto that voice, and it surprised him how much he had actually missed his friend deep drawl.

" Don't worry about the shirt Bones, just get the cuts fixed cause they're burning like Hell." Said Jim softly.

McCoy nodded and then paused for a second when he realized that Jim had called him " Bones" not Dr. McCoy or anything else that was formal, but the nickname that he had given him the day they had met. Battling back the wave of emotions that suddenly surged up inside of him McCoy quickly shook himself and focused on the task at hand. He nodded again to Jim and then took a step over, reaching for the small tray of medical tools by the exam table Jim was now sitting on. He grabbed up the small pair of surgical scissors and set to work.

The thin light gray material of Jim's t-shirt was no match for the surgical blades as Bones made quick work of slicing through it. Within seconds Jim found himself without a shirt. Bones immediately set to work on Jim's shoulder starting with cleaning the puncture wounds and the scratches to pale skin. Once he had finished wiping up as much blood and he could and staunched off the fresh bleeding Bones reached over and grabbed the dermal regenerator. Jim let out a soft sigh as the pain in his shoulder slowly faded away with the warm tingle of the regenerator. Seconds later Bones was shutting the regenerator off and stepping back.

" There, good as new." Said Bones with a small smile.

Jim returned the smile but it dimmed a little as he spoke.

" Thanks for fixing my shoulder Bones, but I think that you and I still got some other, more important things that need fixing." Said Jim softly. Bones sobered as well and nodded as he spoke.

" Yeah we do. How about I get you a shirt and then we can go to my office?" He asked hopefully.

" Yeah, that'd be fine." Said Jim quietly.

Bones quickly went off to get Jim something to wear, he returned a few seconds later and handed Jim the top of a pair of medical scrubs. Jim quickly donned the offered garment and hoisted himself off the exam table. Once on his own two feet he followed a somber looking Bones to the CMO's personal office. Once they were inside Bones closed the door and locked it for good measure. He turned to Jim and gestured to the small couch by the office's one small window. Jim nodded and together they made their way over to it and took their seats, facing each other.

There was a long bout of painfully awkward silence before Bones finally spoke.

" So, I hear Chekov was the first one to apologize to you." He began evenly enough although inside his heart was pounding inside his chest with the nervousness he was feeling.

" Y-Yeah, the kid brought me lunch one day right out of the blue. I let him in and after we had settled down to eat I told him that I wasn't mad at him anymore. The moment I said it though the Kid just burst into tears and all but tackled me, apologizing in Russian like there was no tomorrow. All though I appreciated the hug, blubbering was not a good look on Chekov. After he let go we finished up lunch and he left. Apparently Chekov had been the one to test out the waters with me because after him, Sulu, Scotty, and Uhura all came forward with their own versions of apologies. Now that I am here with you this just leaves one crew member who has yet to face me." Said Jim quietly.

Bones winced a little because he knew who it was Jim was referring to. Licking his dry lips the Doctor finally spoke.

" I'm sorry I didn't come and face you myself. You had to get hurt like you did today for us to actually sit down and talk with each other." He said, meaning every word and feeling disappointed in himself for not reaching out first.

" Well I was pretty harsh when I gave you guys my orders after I woke up. I can understand you guys not wanting to get your heads bitten off." Said Jim.

" No Jim, I shoulda been the first one to come and see you, regardless of how angry you were and probably still are at me." Insisted Bones.

Jim sighed deeply and then leaned back against the couch, his eyes staring up at the ceiling while an over all saddened expression took hold of his features.

" I'm not all that angry at you anymore Bones, but all the shit you and the others a pulled on me after it happened still hurts like Hell." He said quietly before turning his gaze to Bones and continuing.

" You're my best friend Bones and you're a Doctor to boot, I thought that you at the very least would've asked some questions instead of jumping on the bandwagon of ' Yes Jim Kirk is a cheating man whore'."

" Now hold it right there Jim, you are not a man whore so don't you dare go off calling yourself that cause I won't stand for it." Said Bones fiercely before he saddened once again and continued speaking.

" What the Hell, who am I to say that to you cause that is exactly what I did do, what I did think excluding the whole man whore part." Sighed Bones as he to leaned back against the couch.

" It's... It has been really hard dealing with all of this. Every day I keep asking myself how this could all have happened to me. I keep wondering why he did it, what was he gonna gain from it all. I keep remembering the look of Spock's face when I came home after, I keep remembering how quickly he packed up all of his things and left me standing there all by myself. I keep seeing the way everyone looked at me when I came onto the bridge that morning. I just can't stop myself from feeling it all, from the glares I got, to the way It'vek's nails had dug into my shoulder on the observation deck. I keep f-feeling it all, and I just want it to stop. I want to be able to fall asleep on my own and not be afraid, to not have to use a sleep aid so that I don't have to see it all in my head. I'm starting to let all of you guys back in but a part of me is just so afraid that something else is gonna happen and you guys are gonna pull the same shit with me. I know this wasn't my fault but I still feel guilty about it all." Gritted out Jim as tears gathered in his eyes.

Swallowing thickly against the tightness in his own throat, Bones breathed in deep and forced his voice to work.

" What... What do you mean you still feel guilty about it all, this was never your fault Jim." He said gruffly.

" I should've realized that something just wasn't right with that Antarian son of a bitch. I should've noticed that my drink had been spiked. I should've fought harder, driven him off a me somehow. I should've made Spock listen to me instead of just standing there like I had. And maybe I should've been more responsible growing up so that my reputation wouldn't have come back to rip me to shreds like it did. I should've done something, anything to keep what I had. Instead it all got smashed to pieces. I'm the Captain of this star ship and yet I haven't done anything for nearly a month now, my crew's trying to make amends with me but it's just so hard, and the relationship I was in for ten months, almost a year is just gone. I am still so angry at Spock and his Goddamn logic but at the same time I want him back, and I wanna tell him I still... I just... I..." Jim trailed off as his voice suddenly gave out on him. He brought a hand up to his face to cover his burning eyes and turned his face away from Bones.

It was probably one of the most horrible things Bones had ever had to witness in all his life as he watched his best friend shatter to pieces before his very eyes. Not being able to stand it for another second Bones gritted his teeth hard and reached out swiftly.

" Damn it Jim." He whispered tightly as he hooked an arm under Jim's neck and yanked his distressed best friend to him.

Jim resisted for a whole of about one second before he let Bones pull him across the couch and into his arms. Bones wrapped his arms tightly around Jim's shoulders, holding his best friend to his chest. Jim for his part sat stiffly in Bones's arms for several seconds before with a small whisper of a sob he melted into the tight embrace and let himself soak up the warmth and comfort the Doctor was giving him. Resting his cheek against the crook of Bones's arm, Jim reached up and griped that same arm tightly with his hands.

" I am so sorry Jim for everything that I myself put you through. God I am so sorry." Whispered Bones as he tightened his already bear trap like grip around the man.

Jim merely nodded in acknowledgement and let the tears fall freely from his eyes in silence as he clung to Bones. He sniffled every now and then but otherwise did not make a sound.

As they sat there in the relative silence of the Bones's officer, the two men couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over them. This was good, this was real good. They were on the way to mending their friendship which was all they could ask for and more.

But as he sat there Jim couldn't help but think about the one person he had yet to forgive. The one who would be the most hardest to do so.

_" Spock."_ Thought Jim longingly as he too tightened his hold on Bones and sank further into the embrace he was sharing.

Indeed, it was gonna be hard when he inevitably had to face his First Officer who if he was totally honest with himself, he was still madly in love with despite everything that had happened.

It was gonna be so hard, almost impossible. Almost.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_._

**Chapter 15  
**

.

It was a new morning on board the USS Enterprise. In his quarters a freshly shaved and showered Jim Kirk walked out of his bathroom with a towel wrapped snug around his waist. He stepped into his bedroom and his blue eyes immediately went to the foot of his bed where a set of clothes had been neatly laid out. Besides the compulsory black undergarments there was a gold colored long sleeve shirt with the Starfleet insignia over the left pectoral, a pair of black regulation slacks, and pristine shined boots on the floor by the bed.

His uniform.

Taking a deep, steadying breath Jim set to work getting dressed. The undergarments were quickly donned, a black under shirt, a pair of boxers, and socks. Once that was done Jim pulled on the slacks and then he sat down on his bed and picked up one of the work boots. He pulled it on and it went with the ease that came with fitting right. Within minutes both of Jim's feet were boot clad, he stood up and turned to eyes the final garment that remained for him to put on.

Steeling his resolve and knowing that there was no running from this Jim slowly reached down and picked up the shirt. With slow and careful movements Jim pulled the shirt over his head and snaked his arms into the sleeves. He pulled the shirt down the rest of the way and fiddled with it until he was satisfied. He gave it a few final smoothing strokes and then turned to the long mirror that hung by the door to his bedroom.

With a deep huff and a final look at himself Jim pushed aside the nerves and then walked out of his bedroom and then his quarters all together. Jim focused on getting to the turbo-lift. This was his first day back on duty after Bones had cleared him of his medical leave. This was his first day back and he was not going to be late in getting to the Enterprise's Main Bridge.

Jim had just turned a corner to get to the turbo-lift door that stood at the very end of the new corridor when his eyes caught sight of a completely unexpected individual standing by the lift's door waiting for him. Jim came to a grinding halt and stared at this individual, not quite believing his own eyes.

" Spock?" Whispered Jim in cold shock.

Sure enough it was the First Officer of the USS Enterprise standing tall and stoic as ever beside the turbo-lift. Jim stood seemingly frozen to the spot where he had stopped. He was unable to move or think beyond the fact that the one person he had been both yearning and dreading to see in all this time that had passed was now standing just a few feet from him.

Spock stared back at Jim in silence, outwardly he seemed as calm as ever but inwardly he was in as great a turmoil as Jim was. Using all his Vulcan teachings and sheer will Spock forced himself to the first step. Then he took another and another till he was closing the distance between himself and Jim. He came to a stop just an arms length away from the still stunned human. Dark almost black eyes stared unflinching into those of pale blue. A life-time seemed to pass bay in the silence before Spock finally broke the silence by speaking.

" Good morning Captain."

Spock soft baritone was enough to snap Jim out of his stupor. With a blink of his eyes the young Captain spoke.

" G-Good morning Commander Spock." He said formally.

He wanted to ask Spock what the Hell he was doing here instead of on the main bridge. Spock spoke seeming to have read his Captain's mind.

" As you well know Dr. McCoy informed all personnel of your return to duty on this day. I came to this deck thirty-five point four minutes earlier and have awaited your arrival with the intentions of accompanying you up to the main bridge. But I will do so only if you will allow me to sir." Said Spock.

As he gazed into Spock's eyes Jim just barely caught the small flash of emotion just behind their dark depths that looked suspiciously like hope before it vanished back into blankness. Jim felt a minute surge of warmth swell up inside him but he quickly quashed it down as he spoke.

" I will allow it, only for the simple reason that we are both headed for the same place." He said with a frigid undertone to his words.

Spock nodded mutely and then took a step aside clearing the path for the Captain. Jim's eyes lingered on Spock's for a long moment before he blinked and turned his eyes straight ahead as he walked past his First Officer. Time which had seemed to have slowed down for their meeting now returned to normal pace. Knowing where he needed to be Jim made quick work of getting to the Turbo-lift. He could feel Spock's eyes on him where the Vulcan silently stood behind him.

He did his best to ignore it while they waited for the lift, When it arrived Jim quickly stepped in with Spock following right behind him. The Captain and his First Officer stood side by side in complete silence. But they both stole furtive glances at one another with as much discreetness as they could all the way through the ride up. When the lift eased to a stop however, personal feelings towards each other were quickly set aside for the most part and it was all business from then on out. When the lift came to a smooth stop and its door opened Spock sent Jim a silent look before he stepped out onto the main bridge. Jim paused in the lift for a moment before he stepped out too and stood beside Spock. The Vulcan stood to full attention and spoke loudly for all personnel on the bridge to hear.

" Captain on the Main Bridge."

Immediately everyone on the main bridge seemed to stop all at once and their eyes collectively went to Jim. Though the crew had been informed before hand of Jim's return scheduled for this morning they were all still taken in for a moment by the sight of the man himself actually standing there before them in person. But a moment later everyone who was already standing came to full attention and those who had been seated quickly rose and did the same. The main bridge of the Enterprise was silent, absolutely silent as her crew showed their long absent Captain the utmost respect. From where he stood Jim caught the warm gazes of Chekov and Sulu from their places at the ship's helm, from Uhura where she stood by the main communications boards, and from Bones who was standing close by the chair itself.

Keeping his face stoic but feeling the beginnings of full, warm elation starting to slowly rise up inside him, Jim stepped away from a silent Spock's side and slowly made his way towards the center of the main bridge. He silently stepped onto the raised platform where the Captain's chair stood empty and waiting to be filled. With a deep steadying breath and feeling the many eyes that were on him Jim took the final remaining step and then slowly sank down into the chair. Once he was fully seated he finally spoke for the first time.

" At ease ladies and gentlemen."

As soon as he had spoken these words everyone save for a certain First Officer relaxed. Then all at once thunderous applause started up and resonated throughout the whole Bridge. Jim allowed himself a small smile as he looked about the main bridge and eyed the majority of happy, smiling faces. Then he looked to the side as Bones stepped up to the platform and came to stand beside the Captain's chair.

" You ready to get back to work Jim?" Asked the CMO gruffly with a small smile.

" Ready as I am ever gonna be." Said Jim somberly before he smiled back at Bones.

Jim caught a flash of deep blue moving behind him and turned his head slightly in time to see Spock wordlessly walk across the bridge to his own station. Jim's blue eyes lingered on his First Officer for a moment and it did not go unnoticed by certain members of the bridge staff. Chekov and Sulu shared a sad look with each other before quickly turning back to their consoles, Uhura let a small sad sigh escape her before she too turned back to her station, and Bones just stood by his Captain and friend's side, feeling a tiny pang of guilt go through his own heart. These four individual couldn't help but feel bad, the incident with the Antarian delegate had effectively driven their Captain and his First Officer apart in more ways than one and they themselves had contributed to Jim's misery in their own ways.

Jim himself felt a moment of deep longing for the tall and pale, blue uniform clad half-Vulcan who had just taken his seat and was now diligently typing away at his console with seemingly no notice of the blue eyes that were lingering on him. Jim quickly shook himself and forced himself to ignore the emotions that bubbled up inside of him at seeing his not so sure he still was lover. He had just returned to duty and he was going to perform that duty to the best of his abilities. Thankfully Uhura chose that moment to speak.

" Captain Kirk?" She began from her station with a small smile.

Jim turned his head to look at his smiling communications officer and spoke.

" Yes Lt. Uhura?" He said with a small smile of his own.

" We have just received new orders from Starfleet command. We are to rendezvous with the USS Artemis at a planet called Tevores II in the Resundi system. There is a threat of massive destruction in one of the Western regions from wildfires caused by the particularly dry climate and we are to work jointly with the USS Artemis in evacuating several small villages who are at the greatest risk from the fires. The situation is very urgent sir." Relayed Uhura.

Jim nodded and then turned to face his helmsmen.

" Have you guys laid in a course?" He asked although he suspected that he already knew the answer.

" Aye sir, course has been laid in, awaiting your orders sir." Said Sulu with a happy look in his eyes.

" Alright then, take us outta here warp factor five, we got us a job to do." Ordered Jim as he sat back in his chair.

" Aye sir." Came the simultaneous replies of acknowledgment from Lt. Sulu and Ensign Chekov as they set to work, both grinning lightly as they piloted the ship.

" Going at warp factor five to the Resundi system." Said Sulu as he pressed the control to engage warp speed.

Within seconds the ship was jerking lightly as it reached warp speed and disappeared from it's current location like shooting star. This time as he sat in his chair, Jim Kirk didn't notice the pair of dark almost black eyes that were staring at his profile with the barest hints of longing swimming within their depths. Spock quickly tore his gaze away from his Captain and instead focused his attention of the work at his console. But he could not deny that he desired to speak with Jim in more than the clipped tones of formality. He wanted to talk to his T'hy'la and actually apologize to him for all he had done. He knew full well that his apologies would never be enough and could be rejected regardless of how much he meant them but he had to at the very least say something to the human he had hurt so badly.

But for once in his life Spock was unsure of just how to approach the human whom he once had no trouble at all talking to. But that would all have to wait because right now they all had a job to do and people who desperately needed their help.

The Enterprise arrived at the Resundi system in an hour and a half, Jim fell right back into the ways of command, coordinating with the USS Artemis's Captain in coming up with a steady and efficient evacuation plan. And though he wanted to go down to the planet's surface and see to the evacuation himself, a look from Bones told him that it was ill advised. So it was Spock and Bones who were ordered to lead several away teams in getting down to the surface and beaming back with half of the estimated number of villagers while the Artemis took care of the other half.

It took a full four days for the fires to run their course and though there had been a great deal of damage the people of the evacuated villages knew all too well thet it could've been much worse had it not been for the arrival of Federation aid. After four days of having the Enterprise feeling just a tiny bit overcrowded with warm and friendly people, the star ship safely returned all of her guests back to their home on the surface of Tavores II. With a fond farewell the Enterprise parted ways with the planet and the USS Artemis and headed off to another part of the galaxy.

For the crew of the Enterprise words could not begin to describe the feeling of the having their Captain back. It was as if a big hole had suddenly been filled once more and things were slowly but surely going back to normal. But for Jim Kirk there was still one major piece missing from the life he was slowly rebuilding. That piece came in the form of a stoic half-Vulcan who had yet to reach out a hand towards him to try and mend things, and Jim himself was still quite angry with this individual. Over the coming days things were still tense and awkward between Jim and Spock. They spoke only when necessary and had barely any contact outside of when duty called for it. They just couldn't seem to find the right opportunity to actually face each other and just talk like they really wanted to.

And again fate had a strange way of making things work because the opportunity that Jim and Spock both yearned for would come soon enough one night at an ungodly hour for anyone to be awake.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 16  
**

.

It was very late in the hour now on board the USS Enterprise. Most of the ship's crew were deep in the realm of sleep with only some still awake either out of duty or because sleep had passed them over. The Enterprise was cruising along smoothly through the quiet black expanse of Space. Inside the ship in one of her observation decks, one such soul on board with who sleep was proving to be quite elusive stood before one of the deck's large, arched windows. He stared out into the star filled infinity that was Space and sighed deeply.

It was proving to be yet another sleepless night for one Captain James T. Kirk.

It had been about two and a half weeks since his well viewed as triumphant return back to duty. There had been no major snags along the way, just some minor hiccups here and there as it were. But while his professional life was on the fast track back to normal and glorious, the young Captain's personal life still had one major snag in it. Sure he was responsive and slowly mending his relationships with the members of his senior staff like Bones and Uhura, but there was still one person with whom contact was still sparse and well strained.

That person was one Commander Spock.

These last few weeks had been all but torture in some ways, to see the person you still loved, to be just a few feet from them, and yet it was like the Great Wall of China itself was between you both, barring the way to simply getting to each other. More than once Jim caught himself staring at his First Officer while he was supposed to be working on the Bridge. And more significantly Jim would also catch dark almost black eyes staring back at him every once in a while. It was almost unbearable, to the point where Jim just wanted to scream at the top of his lungs before running over to Spock and bodily dragging him off the bridge so that they could actually have a moment to themselves and maybe just look at each other besides saying what he wanted to say to the half-Vulcan.

Today itself had not been particularly eventful. They were on their way to the Divonus system to explore a newly discovered star nebula. They would be arriving some time in the coming afternoon hours barring any complications. A small sigh escaped Jim as he stared out the observation deck window at the twinkling stars that passed by lazily before his eyes. He was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't notice when another one of the ship's sleepless souls quietly entered the observation deck.

" Captain?"

The deep baritone voice instantly snapped Jim out of his thoughts and it also startled the young man who had thought that he was going to be the only one there in the observation desk at this very late hour. Jim turned around quickly and felt his heart freeze for a moment as his blue eyes met the deep almost black eyes of the person who had been dominating his thoughts for a very long while now.

" Spock." Said Jim softly as he gazed at the tall half-Vulcan who was standing near the entrance of the of the Observation deck.

Spock remained silent as he slowly stepped forward, stepping closer till he was standing in the center of the deck area before he spoke.

" It is quite a substantial lateness in the hour therefore I must ask if you are alright sir?" Said Spock with all the formalities.

Jim stared at Spock for a moment and then deflated. With a small sigh the young Captain of the Enterprise stepped for himself and spoke as he moved to join his First Officer at the middle of the Observation deck.

" I'm fine Spock, just call it another among the many sleepless nights I've been wracking up. And we aren't on duty right now so you don't have to call me sir, you know that." He said with a tired sigh.

There was a beat of silence as Jim came to a stop within arm's length of the Vulcan. Spock himself seemed to deflate just a fraction himself before he spoke.

" I think I have lost all privilege of calling yo anything but what formality dictates." He said softly.

Jim felt a small twinge inside his chest at these words and he also caught the barely veiled sadness in the Vulcan's deep, almost black eyes.

" You can call me Jim Spock, I wouldn't mind." Said the blond softly.

" I have desired to speak with you personally on many occasions, Jim." Said Spock with the barest hint of pensiveness in his tone.

" I've really wanted to talk to you too Spock, but I guess you and I just haven't been able to figure out how to face each other." Said Jim with a small momentary quirk of one corner of his mouth. And though he didn't want to admit it, Jim felt his heart lift a considerable amount simply because Spock had called him by his first name.

" We are facing each other now Jim." Said Spock.

Jim nodded as this and indeed, things had a strange way of coming to be around here no matter how much they are attempted to be avoided.

" Yeah we are. But I got no idea where to begin with you Spock." Said Jim quietly, looking away from Spock and remaining silent for a long moment before looking back up to meet the Vulcan's dark eyes.

" I am still really angry at you, but at the same time I want you back, I wanna let you in so badly I think some days that I will go mad. God, Spock why didn't you stay and actually let me talk? Why did you take just one look at me and think that I was unfaithful to you?" Asked Jim with some difficulty as his throat began to constrict with the emotions that were bubbling up fast inside of him.

" It was... It was my foolish mistake. We had been in a stable relationship for over ten point four months before the incident occurred. When you came back to our quarters, my senses caught the presence of someone other than me lingering on you. My logic deduced such a scenario of infidelity rather than the violation that actually happened to you. That along with your long history of past relationships only served to make this wrong assessment all the more solid in my mind. It was my logic that was flawed, but it was you who payed the price and for that I shall never forgive myself." Said Spock, meaning every word.

Jim was silent for a long time, clenching his jaw so tightly the bones ached in loud protest before with a rattling breath through his nostrils he spoke.

" That Antarian bastard sure went and ruined everything didn't he?" He asked shakily. Spock remained silent but his eyes conveyed the beginnings of deep despair as Jim continued.

" And now, here I am slowly beginning to rebuild everything but I am still for the most part a man in ruin. I don't know what to do and I miss you so Goddamn much every second of every day. When I'm on the main bridge I get so mad at you sometimes that I want nothing more than to get up and run to you, scream at you with everything I have in my lungs, shake you and just keep asking you over and over again why. why did you abandon me. But at night when I get to my quarters I just feel empty, everything inside my quarters feels completely empty cause you're not there. It's Hell, in every sense of the word it's Hell." Said Jim, his voice just barely a few octaves above a whisper.

Spock swallowed thickly and fought back the emotions that were raging inside of him as he spoke.

" I too, have been keenly aware of your absence and the distance between us. You are so close, just feet from me at times and yet it feels as though a barrier has been erected between us and I cannot pass through. You as well occupy my mind and no amount of meditating or calling upon the teachings of Surak can free me of you. You are my T'hy'la Jim, my T'hy'la; you being that, I will be forever in shame for the way I treated you. And above all of this I have yet to actually ask you for your forgiveness." Said Spock pausing for but a moment before he finally spoke the words Jim had been secretly waiting for him to say.

" Can you ever forgive me for the terrible grievances that I have cause you, can you ever forgiving me for the emotional pain that I caused you, for not cherishing you like a T'hy'la should be cherished, can you ever forgive me James T. Kirk?"

Jim screwed his eyes shut as he let Spock's words of penance wash over him. His heart both lifted and seemed to crack at the same time. Jim bowed his head low and barely stifled the urge to dissolve into tears right then and there. He wouldn't burst into tears damn it, he was James T. Kirk and he had shed enough tears. Sucking in a deep breath through his lips Jim straightened back up to full height and brought his now overly shiny blue eyes to meet Spock's so very human eyes. Finding it difficult to open his mouth at the moment without having his lips trembling quite violently, Jim decided on another way of conveying what he wanted to say.

Taking a small half step and closer some more of the already sparse distance between then, Jim raised his now slightly trembling hands and reached up towards the Vulcan standing across from him. Spock remained absolutely still and scarcely breathed as he watched and waited to see what Jim was going to do. The moment Jim's hands made contact with his skin Spock inhaled sharply as a jolt seemed to pass through him from where Jim's hands were holding his face down to his very toes. Spock gave no resistance as Jim very slowly pulled his head down towards his own till their foreheads were finally pressed against each other. Letting out another soft, shaky sigh Jim finally spoke.

" Yes, I can forgive you Spock. But I must tell you now that it will take a very long time for me to be able to trust you as I once did. I can trust you with my life when we are on duty but not when we aren't. I love you deeply, of that you can be sure. But right now I'm still trying to put myself back together, still trying to return to some semblance of who I was. I'm not ready to just go right back to a relationship with you, I'm just not ready so I have to ask you, will you wait for me?" Asked Jim.

" For as long as it takes." Said Spock almost instantly.

This made Jim smile tearfully for a moment before he sobered and asked Spock another question.

" Will you still be my friend until then?" He asked softly.

" Jim, from that moment we were inside my older counterpart's ship during the Narada incident to this moment now, I have been and always shall be, your friend." Said Spock whole heartedly as he reached up and gripped Jim by his upper arms with firm gentleness, as though to solidify what he was said with his touch before he spoke again.

" And with time I hope to earn the right to be more than that to you again."

Jim nodded and let a small smile grace his lips, but it faded far too quickly into a sad expression as he spoke.

" I feel I gotta apologize to you too Spock." He said softly as he pulled his head back a little to eye the Vulcan.

" For what Jim, you are the injured party here, it is illogical that you need to apologize for anything." Said Spock with confusion tinting his voice.

" Yes I do, that day back in the Sickbay with you and Bones, I yelled at you, and then I... I hit you." Said Jim softly, feeling guilt for that act.

Spock's eyes widened, he was stunned by this, a second later he tightened his grip on Jim's arms and shook his head as he spoke.

" Do not apologize for that, I deserved it, I deserve far worse for what I have done. Do not apologize, for it was well within your rights." He said firmly. Now it was Jim who shook his head vigorously as he spoke.

" No Spock, it wasn't right. It was wrong of me to have done that to you. No matter how angry I was and how much you honestly did deserve it, I had no right to lay a hand on you like I did, no right at all. So for that, please forgive me Spock, please." Said Jim, his voice wavering dangerously close to breaking entirely.

" There is nothing to forgive Jim, nothing." Said Spock with a tone of finality.

Jim nodded and conceded, he could see that there was no point in arguing with Spock about that particular issue and there weren't enough hours in the day if he had decided to try and prove his point. Then using every ounce of his will Jim let go of Spock's face, Spock did the same and released Jim's upper arms. Each man immediately felt the absence of the others touch and had to fight tooth and nail with their own desires to instantly come back together again. They each took a step away from each other, their eyes never breaking the gaze they shared. A lifetime was spent in simply staring at each other in silence until Jim finally spoke, breaking it.

" It's really late, I should go and try to get some sleep because we've got a lot of work to do. I'll see you later on the Bridge Spock?" Asked Jim with a ghost of a smile on his face.

" Of course, I shall see you when Alpha shift begins." Said Spock.

With a small nod Jim wordlessly stepped past Spock and began making his way towards the mouth of the corridor that led in and out of the Observation deck. Dark eyes followed his every step and now, it felt oddly comforting to the young man. Jim reached the mouth of the corridor and pause, he turned to meet Spock's gaze as he spoke.

" Good night Spock."

" Good night Jim." Replied Spock with a nod, though in his mind he called Jim T'hy'la.

With a lingering look at the remaining person with whom he had now finally begun to mend his relationship with, Jim nodded and turned away disappearing down the corridor towards the turbo-lift that would take him back up to the upper deck where his quarters were located. Jim Kirk quickly made his way to the turbo-lift and used it to go up. When he reached his deck he stepped out of the turbo-lift and all but ran for his quarters. Once he was inside his quarters his knees finally gave out, his back collided with the silver door to his living area and he slid down the smooth surface till he was sitting on the floor, propped up against the door. He drew his kneed up to his chest and hugged them tightly with his arms.

Words could not begin to describe what Jim Kirk was feeling inside right here and now in this moment.

With a loud gasp he finally let the dam break. But as tears coursed like raging rivers down his face, he didn't sob in despair. Instead a small, happy grin spread across his face as he began to laugh softly. He was crying and he was laughing at the same time, an inherent contradiction yet he was doing just that. He cried and he laughed in the privacy and safety of his quarters. But above all this he did one important thing, he whispered two words to no one in particular.

" Thank you."

Then he simply buried his face into his arms and let the raging emotions inside of him run their course.

Meanwhile, back down in the observation deck a long figure still dressed in a blue uniform now stood before the window that a young blond man had been standing before minutes before. He stood there tall and silent as he gazed out at the star filled blackness of Space, hands folded lightly behind his back. But in the silence something unheard of happened in those silent minutes.

From dark almost black eyes a single clear drop of liquid spilled free and carved a slow, curved path down a pale cheek before falling away from a pale jaw.

Spock breathed in deeply and then slowly reached up with one of his hands, smoothly wiping away the single thin line of fluid that lingered over his pale skin. Then blinking and reigning in his emotions in proper Vulcan fashion, Spock returned his gaze to the star filled heavens outside and whispered two simple words.

" Thank you."

He would later ponder why he had said these two words to no one in particular. His Vulcan half would deduce it to be a simply lapse into illogic do to being slightly emotionally compromised from the very charged conversation he had just ended minutes before. But his human side would see it simply as showing gratitude to that strange way the Universe works.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 17  
**

.

The main bridge of the the USS Enterprise was functioning within a comfortable almost silence. All personnel were doing their specific duties with quite efficiency. Sitting at the very center of the Bridge in total command of it all was Captain James T. Kirk. He sat in the Captain's chair relaxed but still keenly aware of all the happenings of the main bridge around him. In front of him Lt. Hikaru Sulu and Ensign Pavel Chekov sat at the ship's helm both working together to skillfully pilot the star ship as she flew through Space. Behind him over his right shoulder Jim knew that his communications officer, Lt. Nyota Uhura was diligently working at her station monitoring and translating communications frequencies that were constantly streaming into the ship. A few feet away from the woman to the left of the Captain sat Lt. Cmdr. Montgomery Scott, the ship's chief Engineer who was up here on the bridge today instead of down in the ship's engine rooms. The Scotsman was pressing buttons here and there at his station monitoring the ship's systems with a keen eye. And finally, sitting a little ways ahead of the Captain to his right was the Enterprise's First Officer, Commander Spock. In his silent and stoic manner the half-Vulcan officer was calmly monitoring the ship's scanners at his station.

Jim's pale blue eyes discreetly went to the form of his First Officer and lingered on him for a long moment. It had now been almost five whole months since Jim's life had been turned upside down and shoved straight into Limbo, all because he had been unfortunate enough to cross paths with a perverted alien delegate at a meeting to negotiate an agreement to obtain a much needed vaccine.

Since that horrifying incident Jim had slowly but surely begun to rebuild both his own life and his relations with the others on board this ship. His relationship with Sulu was solidified by their numerous sparring sessions together. Jim was fast on his way to becoming a pro with the fencing sword, with Sulu being their to teach him the ropes. And an easy camaraderie had returned between the Captain and the Lieutenant. As for Ensign Chekov, the kid had seemed to make it one of his missions in life to make sure his Captain always had at least one full meal a day, in addition the young man was often a constant source of conversation for Jim, always asking him things like how he was doing or what his opinion was on ship's gossip or the place they were headed for. The young man, still a kid but a brilliant one at that had managed to worm his way into a special place in Jim's heart. Jim's relationship with Lt. Uhura had returned to one of respect, with just a little bit of fieriness to it because wherever Jim Kirk was involved there would most definitely be some sparks. Like they had agreed, the communications officer was teaching her Captain the language of the Segrams, the intellectuals who bore a striking resemblance to tuna-fish and also incorporated shrill squawks into their language. Needless to say while learning this language Jim had had several full belly laughs until he himself was asked to speak it, in that case it was Uhura to had to hide the giggles at her Captain's expense. And yeah she taught him some minor Seram insults, but not the serious ones that would get him into deep trouble. The Captain and the Chief Engineer's relationship was mended with the help of fresh, Enterprise engine made Moonshine. Jim and Scotty got thoroughly smashed together on many occasions, off duty of course. The Scotsman was back to his bouncing self and at times his upbeat manner was infectious to Jim, who would get excited about things as well.

The Ship's Chief Medical officer, Dr. Leonard McCoy or Bones as Jim would call him still jabbed the young Captain with hyposprays, but since when would that ever change? Jim welcomed the Doctor's gruff nature and trademark grump-filled scowl. Bones would get on his Captain about everything from his health to his personal life, nagging him like he always did all the way back to their days at Starfleet Academy. Jim would have to admit to himself that it was good to have his best friend/ personal mother hen back to banter with and try to escape on a regular basis.

This left Jim with one member of his senior crew, his First Officer Spock. After the talk they had shared late one night in one of the observation decks, things had thawed considerably between them. Their conversations became easier and Jim had actually begun teasing the half-Vulcan every once and a while like he used to. They had even tentatively begun taking up playing chess again in Jim's quarters like they had done before the incident. However, there was still a small gap between them, but now it was there not because of animosity and anger but because they were still madly in love with each other. They had agreed to be friends again first and Jim knew that it would still take him just a little more time before he was ready for an intimate relationship again. Spock being who he was had better control of his own faculties and remembered to keep his distance from what was clearly their between himself and Jim. He had promised to wait and he would because if anything he was a patient individual.

Jim blinked and returned out of his musings, he quickly tore his gaze away from where they had been staring at the back of his First Officer's head. The Captain quickly turned his gaze back to the main view screen and shifted in his seat for a moment. Then one of the Ensigns walked up to him with some PADDs for him to review and sign off on.

And so for the rest of the day, everyone worked and made sure that it was smooth sailing through Space.

Two weeks later however, new orders from Starfleet Command and some time after a private message would both come in and send Jim Kirk in for a loop.

It was a new morning and Jim had just arrived onto the bridge with Bones and Spock in tow. They were having an easy debate between the three of them over a rather mundane fact brought up by the CMO. It was mostly Jim listening to the humorous banter between his First Officer and his Chief medical officer. Spock and Bones were still going at it while Jim smoothly sank into the command chair. About ten minutes passed before Uhura spoke up.

" Captain new orders have just come in from Starfleet command Sir." Began the Lieutenant, who was now looking like she was back to her old self with her trademark eyeliner and big earrings proudly adorning her ears.

" Finally, so what are we meant to do next Lieutenant Uhura?" Asked Jim with a warm smile to Uhura.

Uhura returned Jim's smile with one of her own but when she streamed the message from Starfleet into her ear piece she froze and the smile fell completely off of her face for a moment. She quickly schooled her features and regained her composure but when she looked back up at her Captain her eyes conveyed her nervousness and her concern as she spoke.

" Sir, we have been ordered to Star Base 89 in the Nerosi system to over see peace talks between two warring clans from the planet Siade V. It's a negotiations talk Captain Kirk." She said softly, her face filled with barely veiled dread as she looked to her Captain.

The best way to describe the effects of Uhura's words was simple really. Everyone on the main bridge seemed to just stop all at once, from Chekov and Sulu at the helm, to Spock and Bones who were standing by the Captain's chair, all the way to Yeoman Rand who paused mid step with Jim's mug of morning coffee in her hands. Jim himself sat frozen in his seat for a moment with his eyes locked on Uhura's. What was seconds in actuality seemed more like decades in the silence that had taken over the bridge as all eyes went to the Captain sitting in the center of the main bridge.

These orders were so jarring because during these months the Enterprise had been receiving orders that were tailored to ensure as little contact with foreign alien delegates as possible. Now the Enterprise had been ordered to preside over peace talks, which meant that Captain Kirk himself would have to serve as the mediator between the two opposite parties.

The last time Jim had been part of a negotiations process had ended with them getting a much needed vaccine but Jim himself nearly loosing his very life. So naturally these new orders now had everyone on edge.

Jim was the first to snap out of the collective freeze that had befallen the main bridge. With a blink and a light clearing of his throat Jim spoke.

" Thank you Lieutenant." He said with a nod to the woman before he turned around to his two helmsmen.

" Mr. Sulu, Mr. Chekov, you heard the Lieutenant, please plot a course for the Nerosi system." Ordered Jim, satisfied when the two men in question both nodded and turned around to their station and began carrying out their orders before he looked around to the rest of his crew.

" People c'mon snap out of it, we got ourselves a job to do." He said loudly.

Everyone instantly came back to the present and began moving again, the main bridge unfroze and began functioning but there was a hint of tension in the air now and maybe just a little bit of worry as well.

Bones and Spock still stood beside where Jim sat, both men eying the young Captain. Bones's concern was more visible than it was from Spock. It was Bones who took the small step forward and spoke.

" Are you sure about this Jim?" He asked in a hushed tone.

Serious pale blue eyes looked up at him as Jim spoke.

" It's not like I can keep avoiding it Bones, it was gonna happen sooner or later. I'll be alright and besides, I gotta make sure my negotiating skills haven't completely rusted over." Said Jim with a small hint of a smile.

Bones nodded and smiled sadly as he reached out and gripped Jim's shoulder for a long moment before drawing away. Jim nodded to Bones and then to Spock before focusing his gaze to the main view screen, carefully not meeting their gazes.

From where he stood Spock could tell that it was forced, and from Jim's posture and body language he could see that the human was not at all thrilled and every bit as apprehensive as the rest of the main bridge crew was about the assignment. But before Spock could voice anything Ensign Chekov's voice sounded.

" Kepten, coorse haz bin laid in Sir." Said the young man looking not so cheerful as he had been earlier in the morning.

" Thank you Mr. Chekov; Mr. Sulu, take us out here warp factor five." Ordered Jim.

" Aye sir." Acknowledged Sulu before he set to work pressing buttons on his console.

Within seconds the Enterprise was entering warp speed with Star Base 89 as her intended destination. From where he sat Jim accepted the mug of coffee from Yeoman Rand and tried to focus his mind on enjoying it. Bones took his leave at headed down to Sickbay but Jim could still feel certain dark eyes lingering on him. But when he finally turned to where Spock had been standing he found that his First Officer had gone to his station. But his silent reassurances still lingered with Jim and for that he was grateful.

It would be many hours before the Enterprise would reach the Nerosi system, Jim decided that he would use that time to get a tentative grasp of the situation and also strengthen his own nerves against the instinctive uncertainties that had manifested themselves in him. He would use the time to prepare himself as best he could to face a situation that the last time he had been in had nearly destroyed all of him.

But this was part of the job and he was going to do it.

Six hours later the Enterprise smoothly dropped out of warp and went to impulse power as Federation Star base 89 came into few in the not too far off distance.

" Alright, let's take her in and get her docked." Said Jim.

" Aye sir." Came the near perfectly synchronized responses of Sulu and Chekov as they piloted the ship smoothly towards the Star base.

When the Enterprise gracefully reached the Star base, Sulu and Chekov skillfully guided the ship through standard docking procedures. Within ten minutes the Enterprise was securely anchored to Star base 89.

With a nod to the two helmsmen Jim rose from his seat and turned to his First officer.

" Let's go and meet with the Commander of the base, we can get filled in on the current situation." He said neutrally.

Spock nodded wordlessly and rose from his station. Walking side by side with Jim the two highest ranking officers of the Enterprise walked off of the main bridge and into the turbo-lift. All through the short ride up Spock discreetly kept an eye of his Captain and gaged his state, taking in expression and body language. But even a blind man would've figured that Jim was feeling tension regarding this mission. And he had every right to feel so considering the events of the last mission that involved negotiating with a foreign alien party.

The two men wordlessly stepped out of the lift when it's door slid open and headed down the corridor that would lead to the airlock that serves as the anchor between the ship and its place of docking. Jim pressed the button that would open the circular door that stood as a final separation between the Enterprise and Star base 89 and when he and Spock made their way through this door and set foot on the Base they were greeted by a raven haired woman in her late thirties to early forties, dressed in a gold Starfleet uniform who looked just the slightest bit bedraggled if one where to look closely.

" Captain Kirk, welcome a board Star base 89, I am Natasha Goldstein, Commander of this fine establishment." Said the Woman as she held out a hand to Kirk.

" Pleasure to meet you, and this here is Commander Spock my First Officer." Said Kirk as he gripped Goldstein's hand and gave it a hearty shake.

When the woman's gaze went to Spock she held up her hand in tradition Vulcan greeting, a gesture which Spock returned with the barest glint of surprise in his eye.

" Pleasure to meet you Commander Spock." Said Goldstein with a warm smile.

" We come to serve." Said Spock in traditional Vulcan reply.

Goldstein nodded and then gestured for Jim and Spock to come to her office. On the way the Commander began addressing the situation that the Enterprise was here to diffuse in whatever way she could and a soon as possible.

The conflict was between to rival prominent families, each with a claim to rule over the people of Siade V. It was sort of like clash of the Titans with the rest of the population either taking sides or caught smack in the middle. If something wasn't done soon then there was a possibility of full on civil war. Jim felt his own nerves about this mission itself fade to the background for the time being. He had a job to do and dwelling on the past that had already happened was not going to get this important job done.

He was here to try and settle the dispute between the Kar-unish clan and the Huzore-ain clan and he was going to do his best. But he knew there were no real guarantees on what the outcome of this conflict was going to be. And so Jim and Spock sat down with Commander Goldstein in her office and got down to business getting debriefed about the who situation from what some of the arguments were to the key players themselves. Jim would be able to meet the members of both clans later on in the early evening hours when the preliminary talks would hopefully begin barring anything from happening before then.

After a good half an hour being told of everything that had been happening between these two clans by Cmdr. Goldstein, Jim and Spock took their leave of the woman and headed back to the Enterprise to prepare for the talks. On the way they lightly discussed some tentative strategies to get these two groups to call off the animosity but nothing really seemed to hold much hope at this stage, they would have to meet and greet a little first before a good plan could be formed.

When Jim and Spock were back on board the USS Enterprise the two of them headed back to the bridge. Jim had barely taken a seat when Uhura called out to him.

" Captain, there is a message for you on a private channel, I'm not authorized to know who it's from, only that it is a secure channel Sir." She said.

" I'll take it in my ready room then." Said Jim as he got back up out of his chair and strode off into his ready room to take the message.

There was mild curiosity around but no one thought much of it, their Captain received private messages on nearly a regular basis. But when almost half an hour passed by without Jim emerging from the ready room the personnel on the main bridge began to feel the inklings of worry. Spock himself would cast many discreet glances to the door while he worked on a report at his station.

When the door to the ready room opened all eyes went to it, expecting to see their Captain fine and well. So it had several stomachs dropping when instead of an upbeat Jim Kirk walking back out they all instead bore witness to a pale and haunted looking man walking out in almost a dazed states. The private message had definitely not been the best of news to say the least. The color was all but gone from Jim's whole face. His equally pale fists were clenched tightly to his sides as he walked towards the turbo-lifts.

" Captain, are you alright?" Asked Uhura as she stood from her station and eyes the blond man with concern. Spock had risen from his own station and was making a b-line for the two of them as well.

" I'm fine Uhura." Said Jim quickly and then he turned his gaze to Spock.

The look in those pale blue eyes was one of warning and it had Spock instantly coming to a smooth stop, but his eyes never left those of the Captains.

" I am going to go and prepare further for the peace talks you have the bridge Mr. Spock." He ordered softly.

" Yes sir." Said Spock.

With a mute nod Jim made quick work of getting onto the turbo-lift and all but fled the main bridge leaving behind his very confused and deeply concerned crew behind.

Something was terribly wrong, and it was quite obvious that the private message Jim had received earlier had full part in it.

Spock's eyes lingered on the lift door through which Jim had all but fled for a long moment before he shared a silent look with Uhura and then followed through with his Captain's orders, taking up the Conn.

Something was very wrong here with Jim and as he sat in the Captain's vacated chair Spock made a silent vow to try and get to the bottom of it.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 18  
**

.

Several hours later found the Captain of the Enterprise sitting at the very head of a long conference table with the elders of both warring clans sitting neatly in rows on either side of him. To his right sat the Kar-unish delegation and to his left sat the Huzore-ain delegation. Sitting in a chair just a few feet behind him with a full view of everyone in the room sat Spock with ever silent and constant vigilance. The elders of the two clans were glaring at each other mutely, both parties clearly not wanting to share even breathing space with each other let alone actually have a civil conversation.

It had only been twenty minutes into the talks and Jim already felt slightly fed up with all of the haughty attitudes and pettiness on both sides. And that his own emotional state was just the slightest bit shaken by the message he had received several hours earlier was not helping much either. But him being the stubborn man that he was, Jim dutifully sat in his seat and listened as both sides went on and on and on about why they should be the ruling clan and by what right they had to this coveted throne. The minutes seemed to drag by at an unmercifully slow pace and it was quite irritating to hear both sides repeating themselves more than once.

It would be the early evening hours before the meeting was finally over and this was just a the preliminary hearing of the facts straight from the horses mouths as it were. Jim put on his best friendly face as he bid all of the insufferable delegates farewell, if only until he had to see them again once dinner time came along in a couple of hours. But Jim had the slight comfort of knowing that he wouldn't be at that event all my his lonesome, his crew was also invited to the dinner as well. Once the final delegate had left Jim all but collapse against the edge of the conference table and pinched the bridge of his nose.

" I take it you found the conflict between the Kar-unish and the Huzore-ain to be of great annoyance Captain?" Asked a deep baritone voice from beside him.

Jim looked up and met the dark eyes of his First Officer and couldn't help but smile just a little despite the amount of turmoil he himself was in.

" You found them just as irritating Mr. Spock?" He asked.

" Captain, it would be illogical for me to find anyone irritating as you so put in, but I will admit that their constant repetitiveness is somewhat... off-putting." Said Spock with a signature quirk of one of his slanted eyebrows.

Jim huffed a small almost laugh and nodded. But then he sobered quickly and remembered what he had found out today in regards to that private message. He kept himself from crumbling right then and there and looked to Spock. Spock could see the pain and other emotions like they were written all over Jim's face, he was about to ask his Captain why this was so when Jim spoke first.

" Mr. Spock, I'll be heading back to the Enterprise, these talks have already left me feeling exhausted. I'll see you when it's time to go to dinner." He said softly before with a curt nod he all but fled the room leaving Spock staring at him.

Outwardly the Vulcan had a mildly confused look in his eyes and the same impassive expression he was known for, but inwardly Spock felt the myriad of questions swirling around inside him along with a deep worry for his Captain. Things simply weren't right, but Jim had made it clear that he wasn't going to reveal anything anytime soon. Planning his own course of action as to how to deal with the situation Spock folded his hands behind his back and proceeded out of the conference room himself.

When Spock had made it back on board the docked Enterprise he had it in mind to head to his own quarters and partake in a small meditation session. He had just turned a corner in the Ship's corridor when a gruff and familiar voice called out to him.

" Hey Spock, wait up a second!"

Spock turned to see Dr. McCoy lightly trotting up towards him. When the CMO caught up with him, Spock spoke.

" Dr. McCoy, you seem slightly agitated. What is wrong?" He asked in his usual flat manner.

" It's Jim Spock, something's not right." Said McCoy with worry tinting his words.

" Affirmative, something is indeed troubling our Captain, but he has not been forthcoming in revealing what it is." Said Spock with a small nod.

As the two of them began to walk down the corridor McCoy began to tell his own tale of what had occurred just minutes before.

" I just saw Jim a few minutes ago and I called out to him cause I needed to inform him that his next physical was coming up. He barely spared me a glance before he all but ran away into one of the turbo-lifts. He was pale and he looked almost scared. Did something happen at the preliminary talks Spock?" Asked the Doctor.

" Nothing happened during the talks, except perhaps some mild irritation on Jim's part for how repetitive both sides were being. However, you are correct that there does seem to be something bothering Jim. During the morning hours on the Main Bridge Jim received a private message. He retreated to his ready room to take this message and after a moderate amount of time he emerged looking pale and all together not himself. He left me in charge of the Bridge and went to his quarters for the reason he gave of preparing for the talks. And after these talks his entire demeanor changed and he left in a relative hurry to return to the ship." Explained Spock.

Mulling this over McCoy spoke after a long pause.

" Spock I think we should all keep a close eye on him, he may seem fine but something is definitely up. I'll go tell the others that we're gonna be on unofficial guard duty tonight at the dinner. But we all have to be subtle about this cause Jim isn't gonna appreciate it if he notices what we're doing. So I'll see you later when it's time to go." Said McCoy.

" Very well Doctor, I shall see you all in approximately four point three hours when we are all to go back to the Star base for the formal dinner with the two clans and I find myself agreeing with you that we must all be vigilant for the Captain's sake." Said Spock with a nod before he turned and headed down the rest of the corridor that led to one of the turbo-lifts.

As he watched the Vulcan go Dr. McCoy's expression grew somewhat pensive as he spoke softly to himself.

" Yeah, I don't want anything to happen to him too Spock." He whispered, feeling a small chill go up his spine and a dull ache go through his heart as the memories of what had happened the last time they had failed to be vigilant flashed across his mind.

With a deep sigh the CMO turned and headed in the opposite direction to get back to Sickbay, he had a ton of work to do and a lot on his mind.

Exactly three and a half hours later...

Jim Kirk gargled loudly and then spit out the mouthful of ice cold water into the sink. He grimaced at the lingering rancid taste of vomit on his tongue and decided to take it a step further and reached for the mouthwash. More loud gargling followed and then spitting this time with a lingering sting from the wash. Jim looked at himself in the mirror and then shook his head, he looked like a total wreck and that simply would not do in this situation. With a shake of his head Jim called on every ounce of will he had in him to pull himself together. And besides it was almost time for the dinner and he had to get himself ready. Setting his jaw the young Captain quickly exited the room and made a B-line for his closet. He pulled out his formal dress uniform from where it hung inside the closet and laid it out on the bed. Methodically Jim began to undress himself from his regular uniform and into the more formal attire.

He was giving himself a final look over in the mirror by his bedroom door when there was a beep from the main door to his quarters. Wondering who it was Jim made his way over to the door and pressed the button on the panel to open it. When the door slid away with a soft hiss Jim found himself face to face with the members of his senior crew, from Spock and Bones standing at the front on either side of the door to Uhura, Sulu, Scotty, and even Chekov standing in a group behind them. All of them were decked out in their dress uniforms and were eying him expectantly with mostly smiling eyes, except Spock who was as impassive looking as ever.

" You ready to go Jim?" Asked Bones with warm gruffness.

" Y-Yeah, your timing wasn't so bad this time." Said Jim as he stepped over the threshold and joined his crew members out in the hallway.

" I trust that you are alright Captain?" Asked Spock with his usual flatness.

This had Jim freezing for a moment before be quickly caught himself and spoke.

" Yes Mr. Spock I'm doing fine, just not really looking forward to finding myself smack in the middle of the petty melee so soon again." Said Jim with a small almost smirk.

This cause some of the other members of the group to all nod and make little sounds of agreement with their Captain as they all began to walk down the corridor towards one of the Ship's twin turbo-lifts. The conversation as they all walked was soft and pleasant for the most part but Jim could feel the concerned and watchful eyes that were periodically darting towards him. He could also feel the one particular pair of eyes that were just on him, not darting back a forth like the other but focused solely on him. As they all walked Jim knew instantly that his crew had appointed themselves his unofficial security guards for the night. Instead of saying anything about it Jim just let them carry on knowing full well that this was penance for the last time they had all gone to a formal dinner, which had been a very different and far less pleasant experience in itself to say the least.

And besides, it did make Jim feel a little bit safer although he would never admit that out loud.

And so the group of seven made their way to the turbo-lifts and split up when they used them to get to the deck where the airlock was located. Jim led his people to the spot where the Enterprise was joined to Star base 89 and pressed the button that would unseal the doorway. Once that was out of the way the group from the Enterprise made quick work on getting onto the Star base and then up to the main banquet hall.

As he walked Jim felt his own silent apprehensions start to grow as they all entered the large reception hall for the cocktail hour that preceded the dinner itself.

The moment he was seen Jim was immediately set upon by both the head elders of the Kar-unish and the Huzore-ain. Jim bit back a wince as he let these two rather loud and just a tiny bit immature men pull him aside and start up again on trying to convince him just which clan was meant to be the ruling party. But as he listened to the two of them squabble and repeat what they had said at the preliminary talk just hours before Jim caught sight of several familiar faces. A few feet to his right Lt. Sulu was having a light conversation with another member of the Enterprise crew, a few feet away in a clockwise direction Scotty was at the bar chatting up the pretty brunette bartender while also glancing his way ever now and then. To Jim's left he caught sight of Uhura talking with the Kar-unish elder's son, a handsome young man who had actually been more well mannered than his father was at the first meeting. Counterclockwise to Uhura Jim caught sight of Bones who was making what seemed like great conversation with a member of the Huzore-ain clan and the clan elder's lovely daughter, who had been present at the preliminary meeting as well but had remained silent throughout the whole thing. If Jim recalled, he had seen that she had looked just a tiny bit embarrassed by the whole thing and who could blamer her really with how her father had been behaving? And behind him, Jim could tell that Chekov was talking rather animatedly about something to do with navigating calculations.

Rounding out the group, Jim looked past the two elders to see Commander Spock standing a few feet away behind them with his hands behind his back and his dark, almost black gaze discreetly focused on him. The Vulcan was in full view of his Captain and the Captain was in full view of him.

Jim felt warmth course through him as he realized that his crew had formed a subtle ring of protection around him to be there should even the slightest thing be off about the situation. It eased some of the tension from Jim, allowing him to relax a little and listen with clarity on what the two elders were saying to him. It was strange how with most warring clans there was a fear of keeping them in the same room for too long but with these two clans Jim could see that the animosity was mostly petty, not the kind that could lead to blows or have lethal consequences. And as he took a discreet look around Jim caught sight of something that was rather interesting indeed.

From where he was standing Jim had a perfect view of the Kar-unish elder's son and the Hozore-ain elder's daughter. The best way to describe it was that the two of them were stealing glances at each other like a couple of love-sick teenagers. As he himself subtly took in the display Jim found an epiphany hitting him full force. Here was the answer, literally right there before his very eyes. Jim was about to excuse himself from the two elders so that he could talk in private to either the son or the daughter when a waitress seemingly materialized out of no where beside him.

" May I offer any of you gentlemen a drink?" She asked as she was supposed to.

But for Jim, one look at the tray of drinks she was holding had his insides freezing as though he had swallowed dry ice.

_" Oh God." _Screamed Jim's mind as images of what had happened the last time he had been offered a drink came unbidden front and center.

Both the Kar-unish clan elder and the Hozore-ain clan elder stopped in their arguing when they caught sight of how rapidly the color had left their mediator's face. And from the haunted look in those pale blue eyes, each man forgot about their own problems and as one came to Jim's aid.

" Captain Kirk, are you alright?" Asked the Kar-unish elder.

" What is the matter Captain Kirk, you look as is you have seen a ghost?" Asked the Hozore-ain elder.

Jim blinked and came back to himself after several long moments of silence in which he was forced by his own mind to relive one of the worst moments of his whole life.

" Huh? Oh... P-Please forgive me but I seem to have suddenly come under the weather. I think it would be best for me to take my leave for the night, I do not wish to ruin the dinner for everyone else. Goodnight gentlemen, I shall see you in the morning to resume talks." Said Jim who turned and walked away hastily before either elder could say another word to him. He also left behind a confused looking waitress who was wondering herself just what had happened, all she had done was her job and offered refreshments.

As he all but fled Jim caught the concerned glances of his crew members, especially Bones who had softly called out to him. Jim paused and gave them all a discreet shake of his head, a silent warning for all of them to stay back and away. With that final warning look the Captain of the USS Enterprise made his quick exit from the reception hall, all but fleeing back to the ship.

Bones was just about to go after Jim despite the warning before he suddenly found himself staring up into a pair of grim looking almost black eyes. Spock. The two men simply stared at each other for the longest time, having a conversation with one another in total silence. Then Bones conceded and gave a mute nod to the Vulcan. Spock in turn nodded back to the doctor before swiftly turning on his heels and walking away from the large group of people towards the banquet hall doors. He walked away in Jim's wake.

" Take care of him Spock." Said Bones softly to himself before he turned back to the rest of the party and took command of the situation, Within minutes the atmosphere of mingling returned to the hall if only now laced with some confusion and concern for the key member who had abruptly taken his leave before the actual dinner itself had even begun.

Ten minutes later found Jim Kirk gasping for breath inside his bedroom as he pulled on his boots and dropped them haphazardly onto the floor by his bed. He sat at the foot of the bed nearly doubled over as his body was wracked with terrible tremors. The young man sat with his arms wrapped tightly around himself, trying his best to do anything he could to combat the way his whole body was shaking.

He had just released a shuddering breath when there was a soft beep at his door. Having an inkling feeling that it was Bones come to check him over, Jim forced himself to move and battled down the tremors to a light trembling of his hands. He made his way over to the door and pressed the button to open it, expecting to see his Chief Medical Officer standing on the other side. So when the door opened to reveal his slightly concerned looking First Officer instead it threw Jim for a small loop.

" S-Spock, what are you doing here?" Asked Jim.

" I came to ascertain your status Captain, may I come in?" Asked Spock.

" Oh... Y-Yeah sure." Said Jim as he stepped aside and let the Vulcan into his quarters.

Spock stepped over the threshold into the Captain's quarters and waited for him to close the door and step past him before he spoke.

" Jim, what is troubling you?" He asked.

" Not one to make small talk right Spock, just cut right to the chase?" Asked Jim with a small, shaky smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

" It is the best way. You have yet to answer my inquiry though, what is your situation Jim?" Asked Spock once again.

" It's nothing Spock, just tired is all. I'm okay." Said Jim.

" You are not being truthful with me Jim, something has not been right with you for many housr. It all started with that private message you received during Alpha shift." Said Spock.

He watched as Jim instantly tensed at the mention of the private message and went on the defensive.

" Well there's a reason why it's called a Private message Spock, it's none of you business." He said vehemently as he went on the defensive.

" You are correct in that, but when said message starts to affect the mission we were ordered to complete by Star Fleet it becomes my business to find out what is wrong with my Captain. Again I ask you Jim, What is wrong? What was in that message?" He asked.

Jim clenched his jaw tightly and his hands were white-knuckled fists at his side as he turned away from Spock and walked over to the main window of the living room area. The light from outside in space painted him in a light gray hue as he stared out at the stars. The silence seemed to stretch by for a life age of a planet before Jim finally spoke.

" The message was from the Antarian Ambassador A'tal." He began.

Spock felt himself bristle and grow concerned inside at the mention of the Antarian Elder. But before he could voice some of his thoughts and ask what the message was about, Jim answered for him.

" It'vek is dead. He was trying to escape from the prison he had been sent to and he nearly succeeded before one of the guards got to him and fatally shot him in self-defense." Said Jim with his voice devoid of any emotion.

There was another beat of silence before Spock slowly took a step closer to Jim and spoke.

" Jim I-" He began when Jim cut him off.

" He was trying to escape so that he could come after me and finish me off. They found the proof in the ship he was was trying to get to, to make his escape. There were pictures of me and the computer showed that a course had been laid in before hand for one of the Star bases the Enterprise frequently uses to refuel. He was gonna wait for us to come to that base before he made his move. He's dead Spock, he died trying to escape so that he could kill me." Said Jim as he finally turned to face Spock.

The look in Jim's eyes broke past all of Spock's Vulcan control and logic like a lead tipped spear, it broke through it all and embedded itself right into Spock's heart and the half of him that was human.

Spock found himself unable to speak, he couldn't figure out why but his voice had simply abandoned him. Jim took in a shuddering breath before he spoke.

" Ambassador A'tal wanted to tell me personally and... and he begged me for my forgiveness yet again. That poor old man he... he nearly started to weep right then and there before me on the screen in my ready room. He kept on begging me to forgive him for what happened when none of it was his fault, none of it at all." Said Jim as his own eyes began to swim with the salt of despair.

" It was not your fault either, and as for that vile rapist I feel... I feel an illogical amount of satisfaction that It'vek is dead. For all that he committed against you it is what he deserved." Said Spock for once giving in to the emotions that where boiling up inside of him.

" Spock, that's not logical. You aren't supposed to feel satisfaction about-" Jim began to say before Spock cut him off this time.

" This is not a logical situation Jim." Said Spock as he stared intensely at his Captain.

There was another beat of silence in which Jim stared at Spock and Spock stared back a Jim. Then with a soft gasp Jim all but launched himself forward right into Spock, wrapping his arms tightly around the Vulcan's neck. Spock barely had any time to react to this before he felt a hot, desperate mouth all but smash into his own and kiss him like it was the very last second left in existence. When realization actually dawned on him that Jim was kissing him with everything he had in him, Spock let a deep growl rise up from the back of his throat before he himself began to respond. He wrapped his arms tightly around Jim and kissed him back with equal fervor.

There was months and months worth of pent up desire and need from both participants and in that very moment it was all erupting out of the both of them as one.

When the need for air became to much for him to ignore Jim wrenched his mouth free from Spock's with a loud gasp. Breath heavily, almost panting the human looked up into the Vulcan's deep eyes as he spoke.

" S-Spock I... I'm... I'm sorry I-." Jim had started to apologize when Spock silenced him by pressing his fingertips to the human's lightly pinked lips.

" Do not apologize Jim, your actions just now were not unwelcome. In fact the action itself was sorely missed in all these months." Rumbled Spock.

Jim did his best to suppress the shiver up his spine that Spock's tone of voice caused in him. It had been ages since he had heard the Vulcan's voice in that tone and now as it rang through his ears Jim wanted to keep it with him for the rest of his life.

" Spock, I don't wanna be alone." Said Jim softly.

" You are not alone, you have everyone on board this ship, and you have me. In all this time you have always had me." Said Spock, meaning every words he spoke.

" Stay with me?" Whispered Jim.

Instead of saying anything in return Spock chose his next actions accordingly. He leaned forward and with infinite gentleness he sealed his mouth over Jim's pliant lips. Unlike the kiss from before that was rushed and desperate with the many pent up emotions from many months, this kiss was slow and loving, Spock's silent way of answering Jim's whispered request. Jim melted into the kiss and returned it with deep want, wrapping his arms back around Spock and feeling silently relieved when he felt the Vulcan's arms wrap tightly around his own waist. Jim vaguely noticed that they were moving but most of his mind was focused on feeling the complete solace that was washing over him as he kissed Spock.

When they finally did pull away from each other many long moments later Jim found that they were standing inside his bedroom just a few feet away from the side of the bed itself. Jim looked quickly from the bed to Spock as he spoke.

" I-I... I'm not ready for... I'm sorry I just can't-" Jim began to stammer as an irrational surge of panic rose up inside of him. Spock gently silenced him as he spoke.

" We will do nothing of the sort. I simply wish to lay with you and ease your distress." He said softly.

Jim nearly sagged with relief and also felt warmed by Spock's real intentions. With a watery smile and a small nod Jim reluctantly let go of Spock and took a step back. Feeling just a tiny bit shy and feeling embarrassed about it because he used to be able to undress himself in good company with record speed. Not really meeting Spock's dark eyed gaze Jim slowly reached up and started unfastening the buttons to his dress uniform. Seeing Jim do this Spock wordlessly nodded and then took a step back himself, turning away to give Jim a small morsel of privacy as he undressed himself.

After a few minutes Spock sensitive ears caught the soft almost inaudible sound of the bedsheets rustling. The Vulcan turned back around and saw that Jim had divested himself of his formal dress uniform and was clad only in his under garments, a thin black t-shirt and white boxer shorts. The human was sitting with his back propped up against the headboard of his bed, eying the Vulcan with both expectancy and barely veiled uncertainty. Spock blinked and then gave an almost imperceptible nod before he slowly made his way over to the other side of the bed and began undoing the buttons of his own dress uniform.

Jim felt his cheeks heat up just a little as he himself discreetly watched Spock undress to his own undergarments. When Spock was done he turned back to the bed and climbed in with slow and careful movements as to keep Jim at ease. For several long moments it was very awkward and Jim was very tense, Spock in his near infinite patience simply waited for Jim to relax on his own. Jim slowly inched forward till he had enough room to lay down, he carefully sank down onto his side and stared up at Spock from where his head rested on one of the pillows.

Spock unflinchingly met Jim's pale blue eyed gaze and held it as he himself laid down onto his side.

For moments that seemed to span forever the human and the Vulcan simply laid there on the bed, facing each other and simply gazing.

Then Spock made the first move, slowly outstretching his arm and carefully draping it over Jim's side. Jim gasped softly and tensed for a moment before he forced himself to relax. He let his eyes fall shut a focused simply on feeling Spock's gentle touch. From the solid warm weight of Spock's arm where it rested just above his hip to the Vulcan's palm and fingers softly splayed over the middle of his back.

" It's... It's been a really long time since I've laid in bed with anyone or let anyone touch me like you are right now." Whispered Jim as he unconsciously shifted closer to Spock on the bed.

" It is understandable." Said Spock softly as he let his sensitive fingertips lightly feel out Jim's T-shirt covered back.

Jim opened his eyes and stared into Spock's deep almost black ones as he spoke.

" The last person who ever touched me intimately was..." He trailed off as a pained expression flitted across his face.

Spock himself shifted closer till there was barely a breath of distance between himself and Jim. He tightened the arm he had around Jim's waist and looped his other arm under the human's neck and around his shoulders, pulling him in closer as he spoke.

" He is gone Jim, he will never hurt you ever again. It is over now and I swear to you that nothing like what happened will ever happen to you again." He said softly, yet to Jim his words held the power of a full and loud declaration.

" Don't let go of me, just don't let go of me. God, I've missed you so much. For all these months I'd just lay here and cling to the pillow you left behind after you moved out. Whenever I had a nightmare I'd clutch it and try to pretend it was you, but it was never enough." Whispered Jim as he finally allowed himself to sink fulling into Spock's embrace and wrapped his own arms around the Vulcan.

" You do not have to pretend anymore my T'hy'la, I am here and I will never leave you like I did ever again." Said Spock.

" That's really good to know." Said Jim with a tearful chuckle before he buried his face into the side of Spock's throat and finally let all of the emotions he had been keeping at bay spill out of his in release.

Spock said not a words through all of this, he simply held Jim tightly and let his lover experience this much need catharsis. And even after Jim had long since worn himself out and lay fast asleep in his arms, Spock stayed awake and watched over the sleeping human.

He had it in his mind that he would guard Jim with his very life for the rest of time itself, but for now he would dutifully guard Jim against the nightmares and ensure him the peace he deserved as he slept.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 19  
**

.

The silence was soft and warm throughout the bedroom. A pair of pale blue eyes fluttered open and blinked softly against the dim light that filled the room. A slow sigh escaped Jim Kirk's lips as he smoothly came back to consciousness. He was beyond comfortable where he lay almost completely on his stomach with the soft pillow beneath his cheek and the sheets tucked around him almost in a cocoon. But as he stirred Jim realized that he was the bed's lone occupant. Instantly wondering about the one who had kept him company throughout the night, Jim slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position. Once he was upright Jim let his eye roam over the room. Inside he began to feel a mild panic slowly start to rise up. But the feeling was gone as quickly as it had manifested and replaced with relief as he young man caught sight of a certain ebony haired and pointy eared individual who was sitting cross-legged on the floor by one of the bedroom walls.

Even though he was staring at the back pf a meditating Spock's head, Jim felt a small surge of warmth spread through his whole being. A soft smile graced Jim's lips as he relaxed and leaned back against the headboard. For a while Jim simply took in the sight of the half-Vulcan. Spock for his part seemed to almost feel the gaze that was on him as he straightened up a little and slowly turned his head to look over one of his shoulders. Serene almost black eyes met those of warm pale blue.

" You are awake." Said Spock softly as he gracefully rose to his feet and started making his way to the bed.

Jim's smile widened a little before he finally spoke.

" Yeah, but I'm kinda sorry I woke up so soon." Said Jim as Spock came to sit beside him on he bed.

" For what reason would you be sorry for the simple act of coming back to consciousness?" Asked Spock looking perplexed as only he could.

Jim chuckled softly before he leaned in close and explained.

" What I mean is that last night I had the best sleep I've had in a long time, no restless mind and no nightmares. I have you to thank for that Spock." Said Jim as he smiled at his companion.

Spock allowed an almost smile to grace his face before he carefully reached out and cupped the side of Jim's neck. Jim leaned into the touch and soaked up the heavenly warmth the Vulcan's fingers gave off.

" I am pleased that my presence served to ease your mind and allowed for a restful night." Said Spock softly.

Smiling at Spock, Jim silently gathered his nerve and closed the distance between the and softly pressed his lips to the Vulcan's in a chaste kiss. Spock was stunned only for a moment before he gently returned the kiss. The Vulcan wrapped his arms around the human and pulled him in close. While he enjoyed the kiss that he had initiated Jim was suddenly struck by an idea. Jim abruptly pulled away from Spock and stared at him with wide eyes. Immediately wondering what was wrong, Spock spoke.

" Jim, what is it? Did I frighten you?" He asked feeling growing concern.

Spock watched as Jim's face rapidly morphed from a look of astonishment to one of quiet glee before the young man spoke.

" I'm fine Spock. Sorry it's just that, I just got this really interesting idea." Grinned Jim as he looked at Spock with a mischievous little glint in his pale eyes. For some reason, Spock felt this illogical surge of warmth course through him at witnessing this. It was probably because it was the first time in a long time that Jim Kirk looked completely like his old, cavalier self.

" What do you mean Jim? What idea are you referring to?" Asked Spock.

" I think I just figured out how the conflict between the Karun-ish and the Huzore-ain might just get resolved. Have you researched the laws and customs of both clans?" Asked Jim.

" Of course I have Jim." Said a now intrigued Spock.

" Alright, can you tell me about their laws pertaining to marriage?" Asked Jim.

Quirking on dark, slanted eyebrow at the odd request Spock nodded and began regaling his captain none the less, making sure not to leave out any details.

A good half an hour later Jim bid Spock a reluctant farewell as the Vulcan stealthily exited the Captain's quarters. After Spock left, Jim decided to just get ready for the day despite how early it was. The Captain of the USS Enterprise quietly disappeared into his bathroom and partook in his usual morning routine and a nice long shower. Forty five minutes later a fully dressed Captain Kirk was stepping out of his quarters with getting breakfast in mind. He was making his way down the corridor towards the turbo-lift when a familiar voice called out to him.

" Hey Jim wait up!" Came the gruff, Southern tinted voice of Dr. Leonard McCoy as he lightly trotted up the corridor to catch up to his best friend and Captain.

" Morning Bones, your up real early." Greeted Jim with a small grin.

" Oh, don't you 'morning Bones' me Jim, I barely got a wink of sleep last night worrying about you after that quick exit you pulled at the dinner party last night." Said Bones loudly.

" Jeez Bones not so loud please, there are still people trying to sleep. Bones I'm okay, really I'll explain everything once we get down to the mess hall cause right now I am starving." Said Jim as he reached out and gave the Doctor's sleeve a light tug.

Grumbling quietly to himself, Bones nodded and then walked with Jim to the turbo-lift. When the door slid away with a soft hiss Jim and Bones silently stepped inside.

" Deck 11 please." Commanded Jim to the Ship's computer.

The computer beeped in acknowledgment and then the lift started moving upward towards the intended deck. As they rose the lift Bones kept on stealing glances at his friend and Captain. From what he could tell Jim actually looked good, completely rest and relaxed like he had not been in a very long time. Naturally Bones was curious as to what brought on the good mood in his friend and once the lift came to a smooth stop he spoke as he followed Jim out onto deck 11.

" So Jim, what's going on with you?" He asked conversationally.

" I'm fine Bones. I'm okay now." Said Jim as he and the CMO entered the as of yet deserted Mess Hall.

" But you weren't okay before." Said Bones.

" Yeah, I wasn't. Let's just say I got some unexpected news that had me rattled." Sighed Jim as he stood before one of the replicators and started pressing buttons here and there to get the breakfast items he wanted.

A few minutes later found Jim and Bones taking setting down their respective trays filled with food and taking their seats at a table near one of the more secluded areas of the Mess hall.

" Alright Jim spill, what unexpected news did you get that could have you runnin' like a bat from hell from a simply dinner party?" Asked Bones.

" I got a message from the Antarian Elder A'tal yesterday." Said Jim neutrally.

Bones's face instantly morphed into an expression of shock and then full blown urgency and concern as he spoke.

" Oh no Jim, tell me he didn't... That he's not." He began when Jim cut him off.

" It'vek is dead Bones, shot by one of the prison guards during an escape attempt. A'tal just wanted to tell me personally and also ask for my forgiveness yet again even though I've told him repeatedly that what happened was never his fault." Said Jim with very little emotion tinting his voice except for when he mention the kind Antarian elder.

" Jesus." Swore Bones before he continued.

" Can't say I feel the least bit sorry though." He said quietly.

" You and Spock both." Said Jim as he allowed himself a small melancholy smile at that.

" Well, glad me and the Hobgoblin agree on at least one thing." Muttered Bones before he started digging into one of the breakfast rolls on his tray.

" Yeah, when I told him he flat out said that he was glad It'vek was dead and gone." Said Jim.

" Hell has indeed frozen over if you got a Vulcan admitting he feels something." Said Bones in an attempt to lighten the mood.

" Or maybe it's just me." Said Jim.

" Maybe." Smiled Bones.

After that the conversation tapered off into more pleasant topics like one of Scotty and Keenser's newest antics down in engineering or how one of the Huzore-ain delegates had gotten totally plastered last night at the party and nearly started a full on bar fight. And speaking of the topic of the conflict between the Huzore-ain and the Karun-ish clans, Jim gave Bones the barest hints of what he had planned today to try and settle the dispute one and for all.

Bones naturally told him that he was out of his mind and that if the plan backfired and Jim found himself baring the brunt of the wrath from two warring clans, he wasn't gonna help him save for pumping him full of hyposprays.

Jim simply broke out into full belly guffaws and enjoyed breakfast with one of his best friends, all the while eagerly anticipating when the peace talks would resume.

_A good three hours later... _

Jim Kirk walked into the star base conference room with Spock and Bones flanking him on either side just a few steps behind. The delegates from the Huzore-ain clan and the Ka-runish-clan were all there waiting on opposite sides of the room. From his position, Jim Kirk was silently glad to see that the two people he was most interested in were among them. The Kar-unish elder's son Matyick was standing dutifully by his father's side while the Huzore-ain elder's daughter Dalmaya was doing the same with her father.

Jim looked from the young man to the young lady as he made his way over to the very head of the conference table. The time to set his insane plan into motion would have to wait, right now it was all about getting formalities out of the way and once again listening to the unending bickering. After giving everyone the expected greetings of a new morning Jim took his seat with Spock and Bones flanking him on either side. All of the delegates took up their seats as well and much to Jim's silent amusement, Dalmaya and Matyick were stealing glances at each other much like they had been during last night's party. They looked yet again like a pair of lovesick teenagers and now Jim was hoping that their hidden feelings for each other were deep enough for what he had in mind to do today.

Jim allowed himself a full twenty minutes of once again listening to the clan elders repetitive squabbling before he finally had enough and spoke up.

" Alright gentlemen, I have heard everything you have had to say several times over, so now I'd like to ask a few questions of my own." Said Jim loud and clear, effectively silencing the verbal combatants who sat on either side of him.

" Well, what is it you wish to ask of us Captain Kirk?" Asked the Kar-unish clan elder.

" Yes, do ask away." Piped in the Huzore-ain elder.

" This question is for your children respectively. I'll start with you Matyick." Said Jim as he gazed at the young man with a calculating glint in his eyes.

" Y-Yes sir?" Asked a nervous looking Matyick.

" It's quite simple Matyick, do you love Dalmaya with all you have?" Asked Jim with a small hint of nonchalance in his tone and he smiled at Matyick.

There was a beat of stunned silence and then chaos erupted with nearly everyone in the room, Kar-uish and Huzore-ain alike all rose up in astonished outrage at what the Starfleet Captain had just asked.

Spock and Bones stood protectively on either side of a surprisingly calm Jim Kirk.

The Clan elders were turning blue in the face as they hurled insults at each other and at Captain Kirk. The din in the room was rapidly gaining more and more volume until a single voice rang out over the noise.

" YES, I LOVE DALMAYA!" Yelled Matyick as loudly as he could.

The silence that followed these words was amazing. Every person in the room who had been yelling their heads of were completely silent and staring wide eyed and some slack jawed at the young Kar-unish man.

Jim's smiled widened before he turned his gaze from Matyick to Dalmaya. The young woman was standing right across from Matyick, looking at him in disbelief and the beginnings of quiet joy.

" Well now that we have that one thing cleared up, I now ask you Dalmaya; do you share Matyick's feelings?" Asked Captain Kirk.

Dalmaya let out this one soft little squeak before she started rambling.

" Oh, what? Oh I mean it really is sort of complicated, and he is from a different clan and all, but I... Well I mean I... I.... Yes. I love Matyick with all my heart." Said Dalmaya softly.

It was here that the Kar-unish elder finally found his voice and spoke.

" But Dalmaya, I thought you hated my son every since that incident way back when you two were children. He put moren ink in your bubble juice, turned your teeth black for three months." He said as he gave his son a look.

Jim barely stifled the snicker that bubbled up inside him at this revelation. Bones shot Jim a withering look while Spock merely quirked his brow.

Then the Huzore-ain elder spoke, looking at Matyick.

" Matyick, I thought the hard feelings were mutual because my daughter got back at you by doing the same to you only she used kato ink that left your teeth neon blue for seven months." Said the elder.

That just about did Kirk in as he guffawed loud and happy. He tapered off into soft chuckles when all eyes went to him and he spoke.

" Man, you two were made for each other." He said before he let out an unmanly giggle.

" Captain Kirk, what the hell were you thinking by bringing up this matter?" Asked the Kar-unish elder.

" I was thinking about how whenever I happened to glance at those two I always found them staring at each other like two lovesick puppies. This led to me thinking that perhaps a joining of your two clans would end the conflict once and for all." Said a now completely sober and serious Jim Kirk.

" And if I may add, the laws of both clans does not state that intermarriage is prohibited." Piped in Spock in his blunt, matter of fact way.

After this more chaos erupted in the conference room, but it was mostly between the two clans with the three members of Starfleet being all but ignored and Matyick and Dalmaya were all but grilled each others kinsmen. While all of this was going on Jim sneaked away from the conference room with Spock and Bones right behind him, they figured that the two clans could hash things out without anymore mediation.

About three hours later when the three of them were back on the bridge of the _USS Enterprise_ Uhura alerted everyone to an incoming message from the star base.

" Put it up on screen Mr. Chekov." Ordered Jim from where he sat in the Captain's chair.

" Aye sir." Nodded Chekov before his fingers were moving over his console. A second later the main view screen was switching from the star filled blackness of space to the faces of the Kar-unish clan and the Huzore-ain clan. Much to everyone's relief, these were all happy and smiling faces, not murderous ones.

After the message had played out the bridge of the Enterprise was silent for a long moment before her Captain suddenly burst into hearty chuckles and pretty soon everyone except for a certain Vulcan First Officer was joining in.

Bones simply shook his head and wondered just how Jim's plan had worked because a week from now the whole crew would be attending a wedding.

The wedding where Matyick of the Kar-unish was going to marry Dalmay of the Huzore-ain.

" Oh yeah, I am definitely back." Thought Captain James T. Kirk happily before he and the rest of the Enterprise's personnel went back to work, although they were now all far more relaxed now that a potential civil war had been avert.

Instead of war there would be a wedding.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 20  
**

.

" So Jim, what do you plan on doing once we reach Earth?" Asked Dr. McCoy casually as he and Captain Kirk made their way off of the Main Bridge. It was mid-afternoon and time for lunch.

As he walked beside his friend, Jim silently pondered Bones's simple inquiry. The _Enterprise _had recently received orders from Starfleet Command to head back to Earth so that the ship could undergo maintenance and a few systems upgrades here and there. This would mean up to a full month of shore-leave for the ship's crew.

" To be honest Bones, I really have no idea how I'm gonna spend my time. Maybe I'll head for the coast and enjoy the beach-front." Said Jim with a small shrug.

" That doesn't sound like a bad idea to me Jim. Some rest and relaxation at the beach can do you real good, especially with how hard you've been going at it with work and all." Said Bones.

" Yeah, this break should be good for all of us." Said Jim.

He knew full well that it wasn't just how hard he had been working that had Bones glad that they would be going on leave soon. Jim knew that there were still some serious issues that still lingered inside of him. He still needed to deal with them, and though he hadn't said anything, Bones knew this to be true as well. Wanting a change of subject, Jim spoke.

" So, what are you in the mood for Bones?" He asked as the two of them stepped into the turbo-lift and headed for the mess-deck.

Once in the mess hall, Jim and Bones enjoyed their respective choice in lunch. Jim had a chicken salad while McCoy wolfed down a corned beef sandwich. The two men also enjoyed a quiet conversation about the happenings of the ship and of course, the upcoming shore-leave. However, in the back of his mind Jim Kirk felt this small, nagging sensation. The young captain was deeply unsure as to what would happen once he no longer had his work of commanding the flag-ship of the Federation to occupy his mind. After they were done with lunch, Jim headed back up to the Bridge while Bones made his way back down to Sickbay. The rest of the day passed by uneventfully with Enterprise on a steady course back to Earth.

Once his shift was over, Jim bid the members of his crew on the main bridge a good night, and headed off to his own quarters. After a swift turbo-lift ride up to one of the higher levels of the ship, Jim stepped off and began navigating his way through the ship's corridors with a practiced ease. He knew many of the passages of the Enterprise like the back of his hand. Jim walked down the corridor and made a right turn when he reached the end of it. What he saw when he had come around the bend had Jim feeling pleasantly surprised.

There, standing by the doors to Jim's private quarters was a familiar figure clad in a Starfleet regulation blue uniform.

Spock.

Jim instantly felt his lips turn upwards in a small smile as he walked towards his waiting First Officer. Though he would always feel slightly embarrassed after the fact, whenever Jim laid eyes on Spock, an odd mixture of emotions would rise up inside of him. On the one hand, there was always the barest twinge of deep pain and mistrust, remnants of the torturous suffering Jim had gone through many months before. On the other hand, there were feelings of elation that were so strong, they nearly bordered on being full blown joy.

Jim reached the door to his quarters and came to a stop before Spock. The two men stood in silence for several long moments. Pale blue eyes met those of dark, coffee brown. While Jim's gaze was visibly warm, Spock's gaze was warm in a more subtle way, warm behind the veil of the famous Vulcan control. With some reluctance, it was Jim who finally broke the silence by speaking.

" Hey Spock." He said quietly.

" Good evening Jim." Said Spock in turn, his deep voice just a quiet as Jim's.

" Here for our usual game of chess?" Asked Jim knowingly.

As the months had gone by, their once almost nightly games of chess had slowly started back up again.

" Indeed I am." Answered Spock with his hand clasped behind his back.

" Well then, let's get to it." Said Jim with a small chuckle as he turned his attention to the door to his quarters.

The young captain quickly punched in his security code into the small panel that rested on the wall beside the door; the door instantly slid away with a small hiss after the code was received. Jim motioned for his guest to go in first before following door shut behind them with another soft hiss.

" Just make yourself at home while I get the board ready." Said Jim as he walked over to the small drawer by the far wall to get the necessary items.

With practiced ease, Jim had the game set up in just a few minutes. Jim looked to Spock in silent invitation once he had put the final game piece, a black bishop, in its proper place on the top board. In this updated version of a timeless game, there were three boards as opposed to just one; it increased the level of difficulty, and so raised the level of skill that was necessary to play. From where he stood, tall and blank-faced, Spock gave Jim a signature quirk of one perfectly slanted eyebrow before he wordlessly stepped forward and joined Jim.

Spock stood across from Jim with all of the black pieces before him. Jim simply nodded in understanding and made the first move by pushing one of his white pawns forward by one space. It was with this first move that the had between two highly proficient strategists commenced.

It was when he and Jim were well into the game that Spock finally spoke.

" As you are aware Jim, we will be reaching Earth in approximately twelve point four house. If you do not find that I am being intrusive to my inquiry, may I ask you how you will be spending your shore leave?" He asked.

Jim looked up from the chess board and met Spock's quietly curious gaze. The young captain mulled over what his first officer, and tentatively once again lover, had asked him. With a small sigh, Jim answered.

" I don't really have much planned, I figured that I'd stay close by and maybe spend some time on the Coast. To be honest, I'm not really sure what I wanna do." Said Jim with a light shrug. Then Jim felt a small spike of his own curiosity and spoke.

" What about you, what are you gonna do once we get back to Earth?" Asked Jim.

" My father sent me a message several days before, he has asked that I visit New Vulcan and see the progress of the Vulcan colony that is rebuilding there." Said Spock.

" That's great Spock, I'm sure your father really wants to see you, and it'll be good for you to see how your fellow Vulcans are doing." Said Jim with genuine enthusiasm because he really was glad that Spock would get a chance to return to the arena of academia.

After that, Jim and Spock once again fell into a comfortable silence and focused on simply playing chess. In the end, Spock narrowly took the checkmate from Jim with a well calculated move.

" That was a nice move Spock." Complemented Jim with a small chuckle as he went about resetting his side of the board for an intended rematch. He expected a politely spoken "thank you", but received only silence. Jim looked up from the board and saw that Spock was staring at him with quiet intensity. Jim could tell in only the way he could, that Spock was silently troubled by something.

" What is it Spock, what's wrong?" Asked a concerned Jim.

" Before I speak Jim, I wish to apologize in advance if I am being too forward with you." Said Spock finally.

" Okay." Said Jim, even though he was now slightly confused and a little apprehensive as to what exactly Spock was talking about.

Spock gave Jim a small nod before he finally spoke what was on his mind.

" Jim, if it were at all possible, would you be willing to... join me on my trip to New Vulcan?" Asked Spock with all of the neutrality he could muster.

Jim for his part, stood across from Spock feeling moderately stunned by Spock's question. The human blinked owlishly at his companion and remained silent. Spock took Jim's wide-eyed expression and silence to mean that the human's answer to his inquiry was a resounding 'no'. Feeling a small, internal pang of disappointment, Spock quickly spoke to rectify his supposed mistake.

" Jim, you are clearly not ready for such an intimate outing with me. It was wrong of me to ask this of you. It was not my intention to upset you and I am-"

" I'd like very much to go to New Vulcan with you." Said Jim softly, cutting of Spock mid-apology and effectively silencing the Vulcan.

Spock blinked and let Jim's words register in his mind for a moment. After a long pause, Spock softly cleared his throat and spoke.

" I had not truly anticipated that you would accept my proposal." He said softly.

" Well then, I'm glad I surprised you." Said Jim with a small grin.

Feeling the tips of his pointed ears heat up at the sight of Jim smiling at him like that, Spock spoke.

" We will have to make the necessary arrangements, but I will do my utmost to make it as comfortable a journey for you as possible." He said softly.

" Spock, you don't have to go out of your way for me or anything, I'll be satisfied with whatever way you'll be taking to get to New Vulcan. I really wanna see how everyone is doing, just like you do. " Said Jim with a surprisingly shy smile gracing his lips before he continued.

" We can discuss the trip in detail later, right now let's focus on the game at hand. It's your move."

Spock blinked and then nodded mutely before he too turned his attention back to the game of chess between them. The Vulcan felt this strange, fleeting sensation of a tingle around his heart. He did not truly know what this peculiar feeling was, but he had a suspicion that it had something to do with Jim agreeing to accompany on his trip to New Vulcan. Spock forced himself not to loose his controlled, Vulcan demeanor, but he was very pleased with the outcome of this evening, because asking Jim to come with him in the first place had been a complete and total leap of faith.

With his dark eyes lingering on Jim, Spock returned to the game of chess that was waiting between them. The two men didn't talk much after that. They simply played chess, but inside they both felt this small thrill of excitement, and the beginnings of nervousness for this trip to New Vulcan would be the first time that they would be alone, without work as an excuse to avoid each other. They would both have to face each other, and the lingering issues that still remained between them.

_A week later...  
_

The door to the transporter room opened with a small hiss as Jim Kirk and Spock came through the doorway. Instead of their regular Starfleet uniforms, both men were dressed in casual attire. Jim had on a pair faded blue jeans and a light gray quarter-sleeved Henley shirt. Spock was dressed in a dark blue Vulcan suit. Each man also carried his own personal travel bag. Jim and Spock were currently on board the _U.S.S. Harrington, _a Federation science vessel. The ship was holding a steady orbit around the planet that was New Vulcan. The captain and first officer of the _Enterprise _had been traveling on board the _Harrington_ for the last three days, as the ship's honored guests. Now the both of them were preparing to beam down to the surface of their intended destination.

As they head for the transporter pad, Jim and Spock were greeted by the captain of the _Harrington _and her first officer.

" Captain Kirk, Commander Spock, I hope that your time with us was every bit as comfortable and trouble free as we promised." Smiled the Captain as she shook Jim's hand and nodded to Spock. From where he stood beside his captain, the First Officer smiled warmly at the Harrington's departing guests.

" Captain, you and your crew were absolutely fantastic in accommodating Mr. Spock and I. Thank you very much." Said Jim.

" Indeed, journeying on this vessel has been free of disturbances and the service was above adequate. You have my appreciation Captain." Added Spock in his usual Vulcan manner.

With a final smile to the _Harrington's _captain, Jim stepped onto the transporter pad with Spock following in his wake. Jim and Spock stood side by side on the transporter pas as the captain gave the transporter chief the go ahead to energize. Jim instantly felt the familiar tingling sensation as white light began to swirl around him like a small vortex. Within seconds Jim and Spock were engulfed in white light as they were beamed off of the _U.S.S. Harrington. _In just about that same amount of time, the two men were materializing on the small transporter pad within the high council building of the Vulcan settlement.

" Woah." Exhaled Jim softly as the rather warm temperature of New Vulcan's climate instantly made itself known to him.

" Jim, are you well?" Asked Spock who was instantly at the human's side.

" Oh, yeah, I'm okay Spock. I just need a minute to get used to the heat, that's all." Assured Jim with a smile.

The sound of approaching feet caught Spock's sensitive hearing. Spock turned his gaze away from Jim to see his father and a few other Vulcans approaching the transporter pad where the two men were still standing. Spock turned his attention back to Jim and spoke.

" Come Jim, my father has come to greet us." Said Spock.

Jim nodded, and together he and Spock stepped off of the transporter pad to meet the small delegation that had come to receive them. When the two halves met at the middle, Jim and Spock raised their right hands, nearly in perfect sync, in the Vulcan gesture of greeting.

" Greetings father, live long and prosper." Said Spock formally.

" Live long and prosper sir." Said Jim by way of greeting his lover's father.

Sarek and the other Vulcan, in turn, raised their hands in greeting as Spock's father spoke.

" Greetings to you my son, and to you Captain Kirk. May you both live long and prosper as well." Said Sarek before he continued.

" Come, let us proceed to my residence."

Nodding, Spock and Jim followed as Sarek led the way out of the high council building to an awaiting hover craft. Sarek, Spock, and Jim all boarded the craft while the other Vulcans who had accompanied Sarek stayed behind as the council building.

Sarek nodded to the driver of the hover craft to proceed. The hovercraft pulled away from the council building and cruised down one of the main streets of the settlement. As the hovercraft glided through the Vulcan settlement, Jim found himself in slight awe of the Vulcan people's amazing progress. The settlement was well on its way to becoming a full-fledged city in Jim's opinion. It was like the Vulcan people were literally rising from the ashes of destruction and near extinction.

" This is absolutely amazing. You have all gotten so much development done in such a short time. It's incredible." Said Jim with barely contained enthusiasm.

Sarek nodded and remained stoic as his Vulcan nature dictated, but there was a subtle softening behind the Vulcan elder's dark eyes as Jim's complement to the colony.

" Yes Captain Kirk, we have been making substantial strides to establish ourselves. Despite some difficulties in the initial process, we have been rebuilding our civilization adequately." Said Sarek.

Spock for him part, was busy reveling in simply sitting beside Jim and staring at the open expression of quiet exuberance on his human lover's face to really be paying much attention to what was being said.

Throughout the entire journey to New Vulcan, from its very beginning on Earth where they left the Enterprise and boarded the Harrington, Spock had forced himself to use every ounce of control he possessed in order to keep an appropriate demeanor around Jim. Ever since Jim had agreed to come with him to New Vulcan, Spock had wanted nothing more than to make sure that Jim's every single need was met. Spock had done all that was in his power to ensure that his companion was comfortable, and safe in every sense of the word. There was still so much that was left unresolved between them. It was keeping them from having the kind of relationship that they both desperately yearned for. It was Spock's silent and fervent hope that the coming weeks that he and Jim would be spending together, here on New Vulcan would be used to mend the final few rifts that remained between them. It was simple really, Spock just wanted to finally be as close to Jim again, like they were before both of their lives had been torpedoed by a lecherous and evil Antarian bastard.

This was Spock's silent hope, and he vowed to himself, and silently to Jim, that he would do all that he could to make this hope become a reality.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

Chapter 21

_. _

Sarek's residence may not have been a full blown mansion, but it was by no means a simple hut either. As he stood in the foyer, Jim silently admired the simple, but tastefully decorated, and surprising spacious looking interior of Sarek's home. The walls were made of stone and plaster the color of light amber sand. Tapestries of deep crimson red, and earthy bronze adorned either sides of the main hall. The ceiling seemed to stretch all the way to the sigh. Several Vulcan artifacts were placed about the area, adding to the quiet and dignified atmosphere of the house.

" Your home is very lovely Ambassador Sarek." Said Jim formally. He really wanted to say that the place was freaking gorgeous, but decided against wording his thoughts in quite that way.

" Thank you for your compliments Captain Kirk. Seeing as to how you are my honored guest, I am pleased that you are appreciative of the aesthetic aspects of this dwelling." Said Sarek with the signature flatness of his Vulcan nature.

" Indeed, I too find your home to be aesthetically pleasing father." Added Spock as his dark eyes took in the place for himself.

Sarek nodded before he spoke.

" Your compliments are well received. Come, I shall show you to your quarters." Said Sarek before walking off down the main hall.

Jim and Spock followed after Sarek as the Vulcan elder led them down the main hallway, at the end of which was a small fork. Sarek smoothly made a right turn.

_" Guess Vulcan's aren't much for small talk."_ Thought Jim as he and Spock followed Sarek as he led the down this new corridor and finally came to stop before an arched doorway at the very end of the passage.

When Spock and Jim reached the beige colored door, Sarek gestured for the both of them to go proceed through. When Jim stepped forward with Spock behind him, the arched door slide open with a soft hiss, allowing the two of them entry into the room Sarek had prepared for them. Spock gestured for Jim to go in first and followed in the human's wake. Sarek stepped inside after his son and spoke.

" These are the quarters I have arranged for the both of you, I trust that they are adequate." He said neutrally.

To say that the lodgings were adequate was probably one of the biggest understatements Jim Kirk had ever heard in his life. The guest quarters that Sarek had provided Jim and Spock were quietly breath taking. Like the rest of the house, the ceiling seemed to stretch for miles above them. The main room was large and spacious with creamy light coral walls that were a few shades darker than the main halls of the house. There were large, arched glass windows that let in the bright New Vulcan afternoon sunlight. Deep amber curtains framed either side of these windows, adding to earthy feel of the room. At the center of this main room was a sitting area filled with angular but plush looking chairs surrounding a square wooden table that had Vulcan symbols carved around its outer circumference.

Jim forced his eyed away from the demurely gorgeous sitting area and faced Sarek.

" Ambassador, these accommodations are above adequate. Thank you." Said Jim, while Spock simply nodded in agreement beside him.

" I am pleased that you have found these quarters to your liking Captain. Now I shall leave you both to settle yourselves. I shall further inform you both when the afternoon repast has been prepared." Said Sarek before with a small nod, he turned and disappeared through the door.

This left Jim and Spock to each other. It was Spock who spoke first.

" Come Jim, let us unpack our belongings." He said before he turned and led the way further into the room.

Jim followed close behind, his blue eyes gazing every which directing, once again taking in the simple yet beautiful Vulcan elegance that surrounded him. When the two of them reached the center of the room, Jim and Spock finally caught sight of their sleeping arrangements. Standing on opposite sides of the main room behind two identical archways were the bedroom areas. Both areas contained a wide, spacious, and immaculately made bed. One bed had bluish-gray pillows and sheets, while the other had linens of a deep, earthy maroon hue.

" You have first choice of sleeping arrangements Jim." Said Spock as he turned his dark eyes to his companion.

Jim felt a small, irrational twinge at the fact that he and Spock would not be sharing a bed, but he quickly drove away the feeling and nodded to Spock.

" I'll take that room." Said Jim as he pointed to the sleeping area with the maroon-colored linens.

" Very well Jim." Nodded Spock before he continued. " Let us proceed with unpacking our belongings. As my father has informed me through earlier communications, you will find adequate storage area for your belongings and a lavatory area connected to the sleeping area."

" Okay then, let's get to it." Said Jim with a small smile before he and Spock parted way, each heading towards his respective sleeping area.

Jim walked through the archway into the sleeping area he had chosen. As he looked around the room, Jim silently appreciated the simple way the room was decorated. Along with an immaculately made bed, there was also a plush looking sofa of the same maroon color situated in one corner. By the single arched window was a small,glass and metal desk. On the floor by the foot of the bed was a light, amber brown, rectangular-shaped rug that had delicately stitched Vulcan symbols sown around its border. There was a small, closed arched doorway that Jim surmised was the door to the bathroom. A few feet from the door to the bathroom was an open closet area complete with three drawers that were situated within the inner wall of the closet.

Jim walked over to the bed and set down his travel bag onto the mattress. Jim undid the clasps that held the bag shut and proceeded to empty out its contents. Once there was a slightly jumbled pile of his belongings on the bed, Jim began to quickly put everything away in the drawers of the closet. Jim had enough clothing to fill up one full drawer, while he used a second one to put all of his undergarments into.

Jim had just put away the last of his belongings when a familiar soft baritone voice softly called out his name.

" Jim."

The blue-eyed man instantly turned around to see Spock standing in the entrance way of his bedroom area.

" Spock." Said Jim as he stepped forward towards the Vulcan. " Hey".

The human smiled warmly at Spock as he came to stand at arms length from the other man. Spock for his part felt a peculiar, illogical fluttering sensation in his heart. Spock quickly surmised that the way Jim was smiling at him had something to do with this strange feeling. Spock quickly diverted his attention from the strange feeling that had risen up inside him and instead focused on Jim.

" Jim." He began. " I trust that these lodgings have met your approval."

Jim huffed a small laugh and nodded vigorously as he spoke.

" Oh yeah, this room has definitely got my approval." Grinned Jim. " This is awesome, really."

A still smiling Jim turned to face Spock as found himself staring into a pair of dark, almost black eyes staring at him with a quiet intensity. Jim could see that behind the veil of coolness, there was this strange sort of admiration, like Spock was looking at a beautiful piece of artwork.

" What is it Spock?" Asked Jim, feeling just a little but self-conscious under that gaze.

" It is illogical." Said Spock without taking his eyes off of Jim. " But observing the way you were smiling just now pleased me greatly."

These words sent a small jolt through Jim. He opened his mouth to speak but found that his voice just would not come forth. Spock to a small step closer to Jim so that barely a forearm's length separated them. Jim couldn't tear his gaze away from Spock as the Vulcan spoke.

" It has been too long since I have last seen you smile like you were just now." He said quietly. " It warms me, but at the same time it reminds me that I have played a part in the reasons as to why you have not smiled in such a way to begin with."

Feeling his heart twinge at Spock's words, Jim finally spoke, but with some difficulty.

" Spock I." He said softly as he reached out and gently gripped Spock's shoulder. He was about to tell Spock that things were alright for the most part between them, that he wanted them to move forward with their relationship. But just as Jim was about to voice these thoughts when a low beeping sound suddenly shot through the air. It startled Jim and had Spock turning to the source of the interrupting sound, the small intercom panel that was situated by the entrance to Jim's sleeping area.

With great reluctance Spock stepped away from Jim and made his way over to the panel, pressing one of the small buttons and speaking.

" Yes Father?" He asked.

" Spock, I have commed to inform you that the afternoon repast had been prepared." Came Sarek's neutral, disembodied voice through the speaker in the panel. " Please inform Captain Kirk and then the both of you are to join me out on the veranda."

" Understood Father, I shall fulfill your request and the Captain and I shall join you shortly" Said Spock before he disengaged the link.

The Vulcan than turned back to face Jim, who was valiantly trying to keep the disappointment of having his and Spock's private moment being interrupted from showing on his face. Spock could see it clearly despite Jim's best efforts to conceal how he felt, and the Vulcan found himself feeling oddly comforted by this fact because he too was feeling slight disappointment about the moment between them being ended so abruptly and unwittingly by his father. Spock stepped forward till he stood before Jim and spoke.

" Jim I desire that you and I discuss certain personal matter in regards to the status of our relationship." He declared. " However, seeing as to how now is not the proper time, nor place to discuss such matters, I shall leave you to prepare yourself in whatever fashion you deem adequate so that we may join my father for the afternoon meal he has had prepared for us."

Jim in turn nodded and replied.

" I understand Spock, and I think you and I really should sit down somewhere private later and talk things out, especially about where we stand with each other and what we want." He said quietly.

" Very well Jim." Said Spock. " I shall leave you to, as they say, 'freshen up'."

To Spock's silent delight, he watched as Jim's face broke out into a soft grin as he let out a small huff of laughter as he nodded to Spock in agreement. Spock gave a final nod to Jim before he turned and walked out of the other man's sleeping area, sneaking a subtle glance at the human he was deeply in love with over his shoulder before he disappeared through the doorway and strode across to his own sleeping area where he himself could get ready to go meet his father for lunch.

Once he was in his bedroom area, Spock set about changing out of his travel attire. He picked out a simple pair of black dress pants and a black Vulcan tunic with silver embroidery over one of the sleeves. As he set about changing, Spock couldn't help but wonder what Jim would be wearing once they were both ready for lunch. As illogical as it seemed by Vulcan standards, Spock felt a strange eagerness fill him at the thought that in a very short amount of time he would be sitting down to lunch with his father, and Jim Kirk, who he was still very much in love with.

Meanwhile, just as Spock was getting ready in his room, Jim pulled the gray Henley shirt he was wearing over his head and tossing it inside his empty duffel bag. He would find the Vulcan laundry arrangements later. A shirtless Jim quickly made his way over to where he had stored his clothes earlier. He reached into one of the storage units and pulled out a simple, plain white T-shirt. He hastily pulled it on before he rifled through his clothed once more until he came across a light blue-checked button up shirt. He had just gotten one arms through one of the shirt's sleeves when a familiar soft baritone rang from just outside the doorway to his room.

" Jim?" Called Spock from where he stood out of sight.

" Yeah Spock?" Replied Jim as he resumed donning the shirt.

" Have you prepared yourself adequately?" Asked Spock.

" Yeah Spock." Answered Jim as he began walking towards the doorway while he did up the buttons to his shirt. " I'm coming."

From where he was standing by the entrance to Jim's room, Spock turned his gaze to the doorway when Jim emerged.

Til the day he died Spock would never admit it out loud, but when his eyes fell on Jim at that moment, his Vulcan heart did a very human thing.

It skipped a beat.

The sight of Jim now, looking healthy and so vibrant made Spock remember how it had always been in simplicity that Jim looked the most breathtaking. It also made Spock remember how far, from the broken mess of a man he had been reduced to, that Jim had come. A surge of deep shame and guilt rose up inside Spock as he remembered the Hellish aftermath of Jim's assault, and how he in his stupidity, had contributed to Jim's suffering. Spock was so deep in thought that he didn't notice when Jim walked right past him until the human spoke.

" I don't know about you but I am starving and..." Jim began to say until he looked back and saw that Spock was still standing by the doorway with a far away look in his eyes.

Feeling slightly confused and maybe even a bit concerned, Jim stepped toward Spock and spoke.

" Spock?" He asked.

Spock gave a minute start and turned to face Jim.

" You okay Spock?" Asked Jim.

" I am perfectly alright Jim." Said Spock as he quickly closed the distance between them and came to stand before the human." I was momentarily distracted by my own thoughts."

Jim gave Spock a slightly suspicious look before he relaxed in acceptance of Spock's explanation.

" Shall we proceed to join my father?" Asked Spock.

" Yeah, we shouldn't keep him waiting." Agreed Jim before he and Spock began walking out of the quest quarters side by side.

The two made their way out of the quarters Sarek had provided for them and began walking back down the hallway. Being that this was his father's house, Spock took the lead since he knew where Sarek's veranda was located. As he walked beside Spock, Jim discreetly took fleeting glances at the Vulcan as they navigated through the corridors. To put it simply, Spock look absolutely gorgeous in that black and silver Vulcan tunic. Jim felt the back of his neck heat up with slight embarrassment at the thought of how good Spock looked. Ever since that one night where they had kissed and spent the night together during the diplomatic mission to end the conflict between the Huzore-ain and the Karun-ish clan, he and Spock had been taking things slow, like snail's speed slow. On the ship they had meals together on a regular basis, Jim would spend a great deal of time in Spock's quarters, and Spock would do the same in Jim's. They played chess and they talked. In essence they were back to the begin in regards to their romantic relationship.

However, as great as things were between them now, Jim found himself feeling very unsure and nervous. He was still madly in love with Spock. He wanted him like a man starved, but Jim was deathly afraid. The very thought of coitus made Jim feel like the blood in his veins had turned to ice. In the months since his assault and subsequent recovery, Jim had not once partaken in any kind of true carnal activity. In essence, Jim had somewhat forgotten his own body's capabilities for feeling pleasure. Now that's not to say that Jim hadn't tried to overcome this proverbial wall. In the privacy of his quarters, Jim had tried to reattain his confidence on a sexual level, through the use of certain _visual aids_. However for all his efforts, Jim had not really regained much. Jim just couldn't get past the feeling of being unclean. Where once he had been a confident in his prowess as a human male, now that same thought of male prowess left him in a cold sweat feeling nothing but shame. This feeling was only made worse whenever Jim would remember that night he had spent with Spock, the way it had felt when they had kissed, and how he had fallen asleep with Spock's warm and solid arms around him like a shield. He had truly felt safe for the first time in months that night, but they hadn't shared a bed since that night. Jim missed that a great deal.

Jim would have lost himself in the thoughts of his problems in regards to his lack of comfortableness in his sexual capabilities, but then Spock's voice rang out and broke his train of thought.

" Jim, are you alright?" Asked Spock as he looked at the blond young man beside him.

" Huh? What?... Oh, yeah, yeah Spock I'm fine." Assured Jim. " I guess I just got a little lost in my own head."

" Are your thoughts troubling you?" Asked Spock as he looked at Jim with his dark, intense eyes.

For a moment Jim wanted to tell Spock that he was fine, that it was just the heat that was getting to him. However, Jim decided it was best to just be straight with Spock, who was for all intents and purposes was his partner.

" Yes Spock, my thoughts are troubling me a lot." Admitted Jim before he continued. " But now is not the time to talk about it."

" When will be the optimal time?" Asked Spock.

" Later, we can find some place nice and private." Answered Jim. " Right now though we better get to the veranda, best not to keep your old man waiting."

" Jim, by Vulcan standards my father has not yet reached the age in which he would be considered 'old' as you put it." Said Spock with his signature matter-of-fact tone.

The effect was instant as Jim's face broke into a wide grin and he chuckled.

" Spock, it's just a human figure of speech." Grinned Jim. " Sarek is your dad, therefore he is your old man."

" Fascinating." Said Spock flatly, but inside he was all but cheering in triumph for making Jim smile.

" Come on, let's get to the veranda." Said a still smiling Jim as he beckoned to Spock. " I'd like to see what kind of lunch Vulcans like."

" Jim, may I remind you that we Vulcans are logical beings, we do not _like _anything. We merely have preferences." Explained Spock.

" Oh sure you do." Said Jim with mild sarcasm. He knew full-well that Vulcan liked things, they liked things a great deal beneath their dignified logic.

" What do you mean by that Jim?" Asked Spock, who was secretly enjoying the verbal banter.

" What I mean is that you and your people are perfectly capable of liking your vegetarian food, and that you hide it behind logic plain and simple." Explained Jim with a cheeky grin.

" And it's not just food. I know how much you are capable of liking things Spock." He added with confidence. " Take you for example Spock, I know that you like chamomile tea, you like it when Chekov regales you with his tales of Russia and shows you his brilliance as a navigator. I know you like being head of the science department. I know that deep down you like getting into a verbal jousting match with Bones, I know that you like serving with all of us."

Jim then turned and smiled at Spock as they walked down the corridor and spoke.

" And I know you like playing chess with me." He said with a warm smile.

Spock felt the delicate tips of his pointed ears flush a pale green from the way Jim was smiling at him. It was like the human was almost back to his old self, the way he was before all the hardship that had befallen him. As they walked, Spock spoke.

" You present a very strong and compelling argument Jim, but you are mistaken about one of the points you made." He said as he folded his hands behind his back.

" Oh?" Asked Jim. " Which point is that Spock?"

" You are mistaken when you said that I like playing chess with you." Answered Spock.

Jim's brow knotted in confusion while he frowned slightly at Spock. Spock's eyes held a veiled warmth as he gave Jim further explanation.

" You see Jim, I do not merely 'like' playing chess with you, as you have so put it." He said. Then looking Jim straight in the eye he continued. " I love playing chess with you. I love spending every moment I can with you."

Jim's eyes instantly widened and he stopped dead in his tracks. He gawked at Spock for a moment before he felt heat immediately filled his face. Spock felt silent triumph as he watched Jim's cheeks turn a lovely shade of red.

" Now then, shall we proceed to the afternoon repast my father has had prepared for us." Asked Spock innocently as he turned and resumed walking down the corridor.

_" Oh you smug little humanoid jack-rabbit." _Thought Jim as he let out a breathless little huff of laughter before he lightly trotted after Spock.

Jim walked with a noticeably lighter step beside Spock as the two finally reached the main living room area and caught sight of the glass doors to the veranda all the way across it. The two quickly made their way across the living room area and stepped out onto the veranda.

The veranda of Sarek's house was as simple and elegant as the rest of the place. The floor was comprised of sand-colored stone, while the roof was a light yellow and stylishly arched over the stone area. Rectangular glass panels were situated within the roof, and they were lightly tinted as they allowed the bright New Vulcan sun to shine through.

At the center of the veranda stood a simple medium sized rectangular table with matching chairs. On top of the table were various plates of Vulcan cuisine. It was nothing fancy, simple vegetarian dishes that were the standard for Vulcans. Jim's eyes took all of this in until his eyes caught sight of Spock's father.

" Greetings Captain Kirk, and to you as well my son." Said Sarek with the neutrality of his Vulcan heritage.

" Hello Ambassador." Said Jim with a smile.

" Greetings father." Said Spock as he nodded to his father.

It was moderately hot out, and while Jim was feeling the heat, Sarek was dressed in a full Vulcan suit. It reminded Jim of just how heat-proof Vulcans were.

Sarek came forward and stood before his guests and spoke.

" I am pleased that the both of you have finally arrived." He said as he looked between Spock and Jim. " I trust that you have both settled into the guest quarters."

" Again Ambassador, the quarters that have been provided are more than adequate." Said Jim with a bright grin. " Thank you so much."

If Sarek felt anything from Jim's rather enthusiastic answer, he hid it quite well as he nodded wordlessly before gesturing to the table and spoke.

" Please come and sit, the both of you." He said.

Jim and Spock did as requested and made their way over to the food laden table. Jim held back the urge to beam like a fool when Spock took the seat right next to him. Sarek took his seat at the head of the table and spoke.

" Please be assured Captain Kirk that everything that has been set about on this table is perfectly safe for human consumption."

" Thank you Ambassador." Said Jim before he smiled a slightly self-deprecating smile and continued. " Hopefully since this is all Vulcan cuisine, I won't be allergic to any of it."

" May I ask how severe you food allergies are Captain Kirk?" Asked Sarek out of curiosity.

" Certainly sir, and please, call me Jim. I'm here on shore leave so there isn't any real need for such formalities. As for my allergies, it can get pretty severe, I mean one time while I was at the Academy I unknowingly had something that had walnuts in it and my airways closed up." Said Jim. " One minute I was fine and the next I couldn't breath. Thankfully Bones was there and he managed to stabilize me enough to get me to the medical quarters for treatment."

" The one who you refer to as Bones is Dr. McCoy, correct?" Asked Sarek. Jim nodded.

" Then you are most fortunate to have a physician as a personal friend, James." Said Sarek, acquiescing to Jim's request and calling the young man by his proper first name.

" Yeah, I'm lucky to have him as a friend" Smiled Jim before he continued." Just like I'm lucky to have your son as a friend too." He said as his eyes went to Spock for a moment, just in time to see the barest tint of green against his pale cheeks. Spock battle back his blush and lightly cleared his throat before he spoke.

" Let us begin our consumption of this meal." He said as he pushed a medium sized bowl filled with a light orange colored broth and spoke. "Jim, may I suggest that you try the Plomeek soup first. It is a simple broth that does not contain any sort of nut as an ingredient." He said, sleekly diverting attention to the meal that was laid out before them.

" Yeah, I'd like that." Said Jim as he flashed Spock a brilliant smile as reached for the ladling spoon that was already in the soup.

It was only after Jim had ladled himself a bowl of Plomeek soup that Spock started taking any food for himself. And as they set about eating, Spock was discreetly keeping an eye on Jim.

From where he sat, Sarek watched this exchange with silent curiosity. It was already clear that there was something deeper than simple friendship between his son and the young man sitting next to him. Sarek made a mental note to speak with his son later, and in private.

For now though, Sarek thought it best simply to have lunch and mingle with his son and his son's apparently more than good friend.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 22**

_. _

Jim let out a hefty sigh as he sat back in his chair and gave his stomach a light pat beneath the table top. To put it simple, Jim Kirk was currently stuffed, and happily so.

" I can't believe I ate so much." Said Jim with a smile as he looked from Sarek to Spock.

" Indeed Jim, you seem to have taken a particular liking to many of the dishes that were prepared." Agreed Spock.

" Yeah, the Plomeek soup was really good." Smiled Jim. " Way better than the replicated stuff back home on the ship." At this Sarek spoke.

" I am please that you have enjoyed the meal James, and that you have been made aware of the superiority of authentic, home-made Vulcan cuisine over that which is merely replicated." He said, with words that were filled with pride said in a flat, logical tone.

" Amen to that sir." Agreed Jim as he reached up an lightly rubbed at one of his eyes.

" Are you well Jim?" Asked Spock as he saw Jim do this.

" Oh I'm fine Spock." Answered Jim. " Just starting to feel a little groggy now that my stomach's so full." Jim then let out another sigh and sent a reassuring look Spock's way.

" If that is the case, then I believe that it would be best is we all went back inside my residence." Said Sarek as he rose from his seat.

" Yeah, that actually sounds like a good idea." agreed Jim as he and Spock rose from their seats as well.

Sarek led the way as the three of them headed back inside and out of the New Vulcan afternoon. As they walked, Sarek and Spock could both see how sleepy Jim was becoming. It was Sarek who addressed the situation.

" James, I believe it would be best if you retire for a time to the quarters that have been provided and allow yourself to take rest."

" Indeed Jim, I find my self in agreement with my father's suggestion." Said Spock from where he stood beside Jim. " You appear to be experiencing a rapid loss of energy Jim." He added.

Jim looked between Spock and Sarek and found himself smiling lightly. He knew a Vulcan double-team when he saw one, and if he were honest with himself, an afternoon nap did hold a rather strong appeal at the moment.

" You know, I think I will head in for a bit." Said Jim finally, barely stifling a yawn.

" Very well then, I shall walk with you back to our quarters." Said Spock before he turned to his father. " Excuse us father." He added as he stepped over to Jim.

" Very well my son." Said Sarek with a nod.

" I'll see you later sir." Said Jim, still giving Spock's father the respect of calling him my his title, even though it was he himself who had insisted on informality in regards to how he was to be addressed.

" As I shall do the same James." Replied Sarek.

Spock gave his father a final nod before he and Jim proceeded to head back to the quarters his father had provided for them.

As he watched Jim and Spock walk down the hallway and disappear around the corner, Sarek felt his intrigue from earlier return. Now he would definitely be speaking to his son in private. Sarek decided that he would obtain some answers to clarify the questions that had raised, but that he would do so only after Spock saw that James was settled. Sarek turned and headed towards his office with a plan of action formulating in his mind.

Meanwhile, Spock and Jim walked along the hallway in a comfortable silence. It was Spock who spoke first.

" I am pleased that you enjoyed your lunch to such a degree Jim." His said with a sideways look to the human.

" Yeah, it was surprisingly good considering how Bones always keeps telling me Vulcan food is the blandest stuff in the universe." Replied Jim. " And look, I'm not going into anaphylactic shock. There isn't even a slight tickle at the back of my throat." He added brightly.

" If that is the case, then I am doubly pleased that your consumption of Vulcan cuisine has not had any adverse effect on your health." Said Spock as he and Jim reached the door to their quarters. Spock pressed the button on the wall panel and gestured for Jim to go in first when the door slid open.

" Yeah, good thing that didn't happen." Smiled Jim as he stepped across the threshold into the room and Spock followed in after him. " We've only been here on New Vulcan for a few hours tops. I'd hate to have needed a visit to Medical so early in my shore leave."

At this Spock spoke.

" Rest assured Jim that I shall endeavor to ensure that you will not be needing a trip to any medical facilities while we are here on New Vulcan." He said with all seriousness.

Jim let out a small chuckle as he eyed Spock. He smiled brightly with a definite mirth shining behind his pale blue eyes. The sight nearly had Spock stopping dead in his tracks in awe. Thankfully, Spock kept himself from doing so and he continued with his easy gate as he saw Jim to the entrance of the human's bedroom area. The pair came to stand by the doorway where Jim spoke.

" Tell you dad thanks again for a great meal." He said still smiling.

" Indeed Jim." Replied Spock. " I shall most definitely convey your gratitude to my father."

Then Spock took a minute step forward closer to Jim as he spoke.

" Now I shall take my leave of you Jim, and allow you to rest." He said quietly while his eyes unbidden flickered to Jim's lips for a fleeting moment before he caught himself and returned his gaze back to Jim's pale eyes.

The action, however subtle, did not go unnoticed by Jim. His bright smile softened as he gazed as the tall Vulcan standing across from him. Gathering his courage, Jim threw caution and the potentially disastrous consequences to the wind and stepped forward. Spock stood still as a statue while his brow faintly knitted together, the only sign of his confusion as he watched Jim advance towards him. Jim fought hard against his body's screaming urge to pull back and retreat to his bed room area. He didn't want to retreat because it was not the vile being who still haunted his dreams even in death, this was Spock. This was the man who, even though he had hurt him to titanic proportions, was still the one he loved above all others.

Jim slowly reached out and carefully wrapped his arms around Spock's shoulders, pulling the Vulcan into a warm embrace. From where he stood, Spock was stunned to the point where he felt his heart nearly slam to a dead stop in his side where his liver would have been located had he been a full-blooded human. Out of every possible scenario that had been playing out in his head about what Jim had intended to do when he had been stepping towards him, what was currently happening had never once entered Spock's mind. From where he stood pressed up against Spock with his own heart pounding wildly within his chest, Jim drew back slightly and spoke.

" Spock?" He asked softly, his lips hovering over Spock's pale cheek.

Jim's voice, so soft and slightly unsure, was enough to break Spock out of stunned stupor. Spock's entire being seemed to almost sigh as the Vulcan raised his own arms and slowly wrapped them around Jim in reciprocation.

Jim gasped softly when he felt Spock's arms wrap around him. He exhaled a shaky breath as his eyes fluttered shut and he basked in the solid warmth that surrounded him. Spock's own dark eyes fluttered for a moment as he felt Jim's back beneath his sensitive palms. As he breathed, Spock's heightened olfactory senses caught Jim's faint scent. The scent of standard soap and the light musk that was distinctly Jim's seemed to spark fire through Spock's copper-based blood. The Vulcan tightened his hold around the human without truly realizing it. Jim himself felt a sudden rush of heat rise up from deep within him. It was a sensation he had not felt in many long months, and it was a truly glorious feeling. Jim and Spock stood embracing each other for the better part of an eternity before Spock decided to make a move of his own.

Spock slowly drew his head back so that he could stare into Jim's pale blue eyes. There was only the charged silence between the and Spock started at Jim and Jim stared back at Spock with unwavering focus. Then Spock's eyes slowly drifted down to Jim's lips and then back up to his eyes again. It was a silent message, a silent question really, but it was one that Jim immediately understood loud and clear. Spock had just asked him for his permission. In response, Jim's lips turned up at the corners slightly into a small, reassuring smile before he tilted his chin up a little bit and leaned in closer. He stopped just a few sparse inches from Spock's face.

Had he been fully human, Spock would have described what he was feeling at this moment as his heart singing with joy. But since he was half-Vulcan, Spock decided to best describe the feeling he was feeling now as his body merely responding to the stimulus of Jim wordlessly giving him the go ahead. Spock slowly leaned in, closing the remaining distance between them. Spock parted his lips and gently sealed then over Jim's. The moment their lips touched, Jim and Spock both felt like there was a live current going through them simultaneously. Jim's eyes fluttered shut and he smiled against Spock's lips as he lost himself in the kiss.

Spock's fingers flexed against Jim's shirt covered back as he felt the human respond to him. This was nothing like the desperate kiss Jim had planted on Spock that night after he had revealed that It'Vek had been killed trying to escape his confinement. Nor was it anything like the light and utterly chaste kisses they had been sharing since that one emotionally charged night together. No this, this was the real thing. This was what they had both been missing so terribly for so long. The two of them were so lost in this sort of reunion between them that when the comm-link chirped with an incoming call, it startled them both. Jim and Spock instantly broke apart at the intrusive noise, but remained in each others arms. Jim let out a small groan of disappointment as he rested his cheek against Spock's shoulder and spoke.

" You better get that Spock." He said slightly breathless. " It's probably your dad, and I'm supposed to be in my room sleeping by now."

With great reluctance and barely keeping the disappointment he himself was feeling from showing on his face, Spock all but forced one of his arms from around Jim and reached over to the communication panel that was situated in the wall beside the entrance way to Jim's bed room area. Spock pressed a button on the panel and spoke.

" Spock here."

" My son, has James settled in for the resting period he wished to partake in?" Asked Sarek's disembodied voice through the comm-link.

Bringing his eyes back to Jim, who looked slightly embarrassed, but was smiling, Spock spoke.

" Yes father." He said. " Jim is settling as he speak. He had informed me that he is indeed very fatigued from our journey, and that our afternoon meal served to both satisfy his appetite and add to his drowsiness."

Jim barely stifled the laugh that bubbled up inside him upon hearing Spock's matter of fact explanation.

" If that is the case, then please allow James his rest and come to my study." Came Sarek's voice through the comm-line. " There are certain matters I wish to discuss with you my son."

" Very well father, I shall join you shortly." Acknowledged Spock, curios at what his father wished to speak to him about.

" I await you my son." Said Sarek before the line went silent.

" Well, there's nothing like a parent to ruin the moment." Said Jim jokingly.

When Spock didn't immediately say anything back to him, Jim looked up to find the Vulcan staring at him with a quiet intensity. Jim was about to speak when Spock's hand came into his line of view. Jim's words evaporated from his lips and he was silent as Spock gently cupped his cheek. Spock's palm was very warm, almost hot against Jim's skin, and the feeling was nearly as glorious as when, just moments ago, they had been sharing that kiss. Jim leaned into the touch and smiled up at Spock.

Though he did not smile back, Spock's intense gaze softened considerably before the Vulcan leaned in close and pressed his lips to Jim's forehead. Jim let out a soft laugh, but his eyes fluttered at the intimate contact. Jim almost groaned in protest when Spock pulled away a few moments later and spoke.

" As my father had told me, I should leave you to your rest." He said quietly.

Jim sighed. " Yeah, and he really wants to talk to you about something so you shouldn't keep him waiting."

Jim acutely felt the loss when Spock withdrew his hand from his cheek. With a nod and another smile, Jim reluctantly turned away from Spock and headed into his bedroom area, stealing a final glance back at Spock before he disappeared inside. Spock watched Jim until the human was no longer in his line of sight. Then Spock turned and proceeded back towards the main door that led out into the rest of the house. Once he was out in the hallway, Spock began making his way towards his father's study. As he walked however, Spock indulged in the sudden and illogical urge to bring his fingertips up to his face and lightly ghost them over his lips.

For those heavenly moments all the darkness of what had happened, and what still lingered between he and Jim faded into obscurity. In those moments, they had simply been Jim and Spock, partaking in the human version of a kiss. There had been no pain, no anger, no despair, only the warmth and love of two people coming back together after so much time apart. Had Spock had his way, his mind would've stayed on the highly enjoyed experience he had just shared with Jim without any qualms. As it were, reality would not allow such things as Spock caught sight of the door to his father's study up ahead. All thoughts of Jim's wonderful lips fled from Spock's mind as he subconsciously stood up straighter and added more stoicism to his expression as he walked the remaining distance to Sarek's study.

From where he sat behind his desk going over some papers on his computer terminal, Sarek looked up when the sound of approaching feet caught his ears. When his gaze fell on the door to his study, he found his son standing in the doorway.

" I am here as you requested father." Said Spock stoically.

" Indeed." Said Sarek as he rose from his seat and walked around his desk to properly greet his son.

Father and son stood in silence for a beat before Sarek spoke up.

" Spock, I shall begin by reiterating that I am most pleased that you accepted my invitation to come and visit me here on New Vulcan, and that you brought Captain Kirk along with you."

" Of course father. I too am pleased that I have come here to New Vulcan and seen the progress of the colony first hand. I am equally please, if not more so that Jim has accompanied me in order to share in the experience." Replied Spock.

Sarek nodded and spoke. " Come, let us sit and converse." He said as he gestured to the small sofa by the wall on the right side of his office.

Spock nodded and followed after his father as the pair made their way over to the sofa and took their respective seats beside each other. Father and son sat in silence for several moments before Spock spoke.

" Father, earlier you said that there were matters you wished to discuss with me." He said as he looked at his father. " What are those matters father?"

" I had logically deduced that subtlety would be the best way to have this conversation. I see now that this particular tactic is not the wisest, so I shall be blunt with you my son." Said Sarek. " Do not mind me Spock, but may I know the true nature of your relationship with James?"

Spock barely kept himself from jolting at the question his father asked. Thankfully, Spock kept his composure, and while feeling a slight blush creep across his cheeks, he spoke.

" Jim and I are... Our relationship is... of the utmost professionalism when we are on duty, but while we are here on New Vulcan for shore leave he is my very close friend... Actually he is more than that, more than just a close friend I mean." Explained Spock as calmly as he could.

" So you and James are... Intimate?" asked Sarek.

" Yeah father, Jim and I are intimate." Said Spock.

Sarek's face was as blank as his Vulcan heritage dictated, but inwardly, the Vulcan's mind was deeply intrigued by this new information in regards to his son and said son's good friend and commanding officer. Knowing that he needed to tread carefully now, Sarek spoke.

" May I make further personal inquiries my son?" He asked, looking Spock directly in the eye. Spock met his father's gaze unflinchingly.

" Yes father, you may do so."

" May I know for how long the two of you have been... together in this relationship?" Asked Sarek.

" Jim and I are currently in the fifth month of this relationship. However, we were together in a relationship prior to this current time." Answered Spock, feeling guilt and shame slowly rising up inside him because he knew he would have to reveal what had happened to his father.

" You and he were together in a relationship prior to now?" Asked Sarek.

" Yes father, we were." Answered Spock.

" If you are willing to answer, may I know the events that transpired my son?" Asked Sarek.

Spock stared at his father in silence for the longest time before he forced himself to remain calm and battled back the urge to flee from his father's study.

" Father, Jim and I were together in a relationship for ten point four months, but then a... incident occurred." Said Spock vaguely, subconsciously trying to delay the inevitable.

" Tell me what happened my son, and whether or not I should go and have words with Jim." Said Sarek in all seriousness.

Spock felt a strange ache inside at seeing his father so willing to defend him, but Spock knew that it was not he who deserved this fatherly duty. Taking in a deep breath, Spock spoke.

" Father, what happened was in no way Jim's fault." Said Spock before he got up from the sofa and walked over to the large window behind Sarek's work desk. " The blame falls entirely to me and my utter stupidity."

" What do you mean by that Spock?" Asked Sarek as he too rose and came to join his son at the window. The pair stood side by side as Spock spoke.

" Father, I cannot find any other way to say this, so I shall be blunt." Said Spock as he turned his head and met his father's gaze. " We received orders from Starfleet for a diplomatic mission. We were to go to a nearby starbase in the Jazinon star system to negotiate with the people of a planet called Antara. The mission started out well, and the Antarian delegation seemed like a respectable group, and most of them were. But there was one delegate who was not so."

Here, Spock paused as a deep hatred towards said Antarian bastard rose up inside him. Using all his Vulcan discipline to control himself, Spock continued.

" This delegates name was It'Vek and he... He drugged Jim one night at a official dinner and... vi-violated him." He said softly.

Beside Spock, Sarek's eyes widened slightly and he barely stifled the gasp that threatened to escape him. The Vulcan felt an acute horror grip him as he stared at his son and forced himself to speak.

" James was violated by the delegate?" He asked as neutrally as he could. Spock nodded.

" That is not all father. Afterwards, Jim somehow managed to walk all the way back to the ship and board. We were sharing quarters at the time, so I was there when he arrived."

" So you were able to give James the assistance he needed." Assumed Sarek.

Spock felt a wave of molten hot shame hit him like a tsunami. He bowed his head low.

" No father... I did not assist him. I did worse to Jim than the one who raped him." He said softly.

" What do you mean my son?" Asked Sarek. " Please tell me?"

" I took one look at Jim and instead of seeing a victim of sexual assault, I saw someone guilty of infidelity." Answered Spock.

" You did what?" Asked Sarek quietly as he took a small step back from his son.

" I assumed that Jim had cheated on me with someone at the dinner party. I... I packed up all of my belongings and left Jim there. I didn't even let him speak, I just... I abandoned him because I deduced that Jim had been unfaithful and a willing participant because of his past reputation father." Said Spock softly.

Spock's voice died into a deathly silence. With great effort, Spock forced himself to look up and meet his father's gaze. When he did, Spock almost did a full body flinch when he found his father's dark eyes all but glaring at him, as much as a Vulcan could glare at least. Ever line of Sarek's face was rigid, and behind his eyes swirled barely concealed disappointment disbelief.

" Father I-" Spock began when Sarek wordlessly held up his hand and spoke.

" My son, we can have a full discussion later, and rest assured I shall be speaking all that is within my mind in regards to your deplorable actions." He said with deadly seriousness before he continued. " As for right now, I sense that the tale is quite far from over. Please continue Spock, and do not even contemplate omitting any details. I wish to know every single thing that happened because of your foolishness."

When Spock moved to bow his head again, Sarek reached out with lightening fast speed and halted his son's actions with to fingers under his child's chin.

" Do not bow your head to me Spock, look me right in the eye as you speak." Said Sarek with warning underlying his tone as he withdrew his fingers.

" As you wish father." Said Spock as he met his father's gaze and began speaking once more.

He told his father of how the rest of the command crew had sided with him and turned their backs on their captain. Spock told his father of how afterwards they had all basically left Jim to fend for himself at the diplomatic gathering that had been scheduled for that day, and that it had been a red-headed Lieutenant by the name of Mirna Bansalli who had sent Chekov to then with the video footage that had proven just how stupidly wrong they had all been in accusing Jim of infidelity. Then Spock recounted the harrowing hostage situation in which It'vek further injured Jim and gloated about his vile deeds against the human. Spock then recounted how at the very instant that It'vek was going to plunge a knife into Jim's chest and finish him, Lt. Bansalli had intervened and saved Jim's life. After this, the recount became about how he and Dr. McCoy had rushed Jim back to Sickbay for emergency surgery while Bansalli had taken care of It'vek.

" Afterwards when Jim came back to consciousness from surgery, he was undoubtedly furious at me and everyone else." Said Spock.

" As he was well within his rights to be my son." Countered Sarek flatly.

" Indeed he was father." Agreed Spock. " Jim was so angry towards me that he struck me across the face when I tried to apologize."

Sarek had only the slightest sliver of sympathy for his son, but most of his understanding went to Jim in this instance.

" It took Jim many months to recover. Initially he refused contact of any kind from any of us. Then Ensign Chekov was the first to make strides towards obtaining Jim's forgiveness by taking lunch and sharing it with Jim one day. It was rather courageous of him. This one leap of faith my the youngest member of the command team started a trend of everyone tentatively seeking Jim out. I was the last to do this for the obvious reason that I sinned the most against Jim. Once I did, Jim somehow found it in himself to grant me his forgiveness, and he asked me to be his friend as I once was before our romantic involvement."

Sarek was silent for a long moment before he turned his head to look outside the window at the New Vulcan scenery painted gold under the afternoon sun.

" It has always been a remarkable trait i have observed in humans." He began, then he turned to look back at Spock. " To be able to forgive such grievous crimes, particularly those like the ones that you committed against James."

" In-Indeed father. This quality in Jim has made me starkly aware of my own short comings, and it has made me love and respect him even more." Said Spock.

" How is it that the both of you came back together after all that has transpired between you?" Asked Sarek, deeply curious to know how. To him, a reconciliation between Jim and his son had seemed next to impossible after what Spock had done.

" I do not truly know how Jim could even bare to have the slightest thought of me in a romantic manner." Agreed Spock. " However, it was through a very emotionally charged incident that Jim allowed me to come close to him."

Sarek silently nodded for Spock to continued.

" Approximately five point six months ago, we received a diplomatic mission from Starfleet command. We were to oversee peace talks between two feuding clans in the Nerosi system. Jim seemed ready to take on this sort of mission, but then he received a private message. The message left Jim very distressed, but he continued on with the mission and performed quite admirably that first day of negotiations. Then later on in the evening I, along with the rest of the command crew all accompanied Jim to a diplomatic dinner that was being held at the starbase where the talks were taking place. Myself and the others kept watchful eyes on Jim, over the course of the dinner he became very agitated and abruptly left. I followed after Jim and came to his quarters to find him in deep emotional distress. It was there that Jim revealed to me that the message he had received earlier had been from one of the Antarian delegates, an individual by the name of A'tal. A'tal had commed Jim to inform him that It'vek, the one who had raped Jim had been killed trying to escape. It was discovered that the vile scum had been planing to hunt Jim down and exact revenge. Thankfully one of the prison guard shot him while he was trying to escape."

" I am pleased to know that James is safe, and that the rapist has paid with his life." Said Sarek with veiled satisfaction tinting his voice.

" As am I father." Said Spock before he continued. " Afterwards, Jim looked to me for comfort and support, and I was more than willing to give it to him."

" What do you mean by that my son?" Asked Sarek.

" Jim and I spent the rest of the evening together taking, and then we retired to his bed, but I simply held him in my arms while he slept, nothing more. The next morning Jim thanked me, and was then struck with a rather brilliant idea as to how to solve the conflict between the two warring clans."

" What did James propose?" Asked Sarek.

" He proposed that the son of one of the clan leaders should marry the daughter of the other, and he got them both to admit that they were in love with each other amidst the initial chaos that had erupted."

" I take it this proposal worked?" Asked Sarek, feeling amusement towards Jim's rather bold way of handling a rather delicate situation.

" Indeed it did. Jim, myself, and Dr. McCoy who was there in attendance with us were dismissed so that the clans could handle it for themselves. Later, when we were back on the ship, the two clan leaders commed to inform us that instead of war, we were all cordially invited to the wedding of their children." Said Spock, feeling proud on Jim and what the man he loved had accomplished.

Sarek was again silent, and his face was a mask of neutrality that Spock could not really read anything from. Gathering his courage, Spock spoke first to break the charged and oppressive silence between them.

" Are you ashamed of my father?" He asked softly. " I understand if you are."

Sarek almost gave a start at this and looked at his son intensely before he spoke.

" I am ashamed of your actions, but not of you my son." He said truthfully.

If Spock felt his throat suddenly tighten at his father's words, he would chalk it up to the dry air affecting his throat muscles.

" Come, let us sit and talk further my son." Said Sarek as he gestured to the sofa. Spock nodded mutely and followed after his father and Sarek led the way.

Father and son resumed the seats they had long since abandoned. It was Sarek who looked to Spock and spoke.

" It is now, at times such as these that I feel your mother's absence more acutely than others." Said Sarek.

Spock had to look a way for a moment and focus on maintaining his control. It took him a few moments before he turned back to face his father and spoke.

" Would... Would she be ashamed of me?" Asked Spock softly.

" No my son, like me she would be disappointed in you for the way you treated James, who was completely innocent and turned your back on when he needed you most. She would most definitely be angry with you, but most importantly, she would want you to continue making amends and get back that which you lost because of pure foolishness."

" I do not really know how to begin doing that. Yes, Jim and I have tentatively begun a romantic relationship once more. We partake in meals together, we play chess in his quarters on an almost nightly basis, in fact I asked him to come with me to New Vulcan while we were playing. Our working relationship is better than before and Jim is slowly coming back to himself." Said Spock before he paused and remembered that not everything had been going as smoothly in Jim's recovery. With a small sigh, Spock continued.

" But father, I know that he is still deathly afraid. Though I do not share quarters with him as of yet on the ship, I can still hear him during the night hours. Some nights I know that Jim does not sleep soundly, if at all. I can catch the faint sounds of him shuffling around in his rooms, restless and agitated. I desire to help him, to comfort him as I did that night when he told me of It'vek's death, but I do not wish to frighten him further."

" It is understandable that you would feel this way, and that James would be in such a state. I believe that it is safe to say that the Antarian who defiled James took more than just his body, but that he took James's peace of mind." Said Sarek quietly as he glanced at the hallway through the open door of his study.

" How do I help restore that peace to him father?" Asked Spock.

" I cannot answer that for you my son. Only time can truly tell." Said Sarek.

" I love him father." Said Spock softly.

" If that is the case, why did you cause James so much pain by abandoning him so cruelly?" Challenged Sarek.

" As you have said father, I was stupid, and a complete fool to think that Jim would've so callously discarded our relationship." Said Spock.

" Fools, however stupid as you have put it, can obtain redemption." Said Sarek. Spock looked away as he felt his throat tighten up further.

" My son, James is here with you now, even after everything that had transpired between you. That says something about his character, and about how he feels towards you." Said Sarek.

" I do not feel I deserve someone like Jim, not back then before what happened with the Antarian, and not now in the aftermath." Countered Spock.

" I do not believe that, and I am fairly certain that James does not either." Said Sarek firmly.

" What do I do father?" Asked Spock.

" I think it best that you simply keep doing what you have been doing. From what I understand, James wanted you back as his friend and the both of you have slowly graduated from that. I do not think it logical that Jim is here for any other reason than to be here with you."Answered Sarek.

" Father, Jim told be his reason for accompanying me to New Vulcan was to see the colony's progress for himself." Countered Spock, all the while feeling the tips of his ears heat up slightly.

" Your mother used a very similar tactic during our courtship." Said Sarek, internally feeling warmth and sadness flow through him at the thought of his beloved wife.

" What do you mean father?" Asked Spock.

" I mean, that when I decided to ask you mother to accompany me to dinner, she said yes, but gave me the reason that she wished to see the gardens that were located near the eating establishment I had arranged to take her to." Explained Sarek.

Spock mulled this over for a few moments until he spoke.

" So what you are saying is that mother put up the front of wanting to go see the gardens when in actuality she wished to go to dinner with you?" He asked, hoping that he grasped the concept.

" Yes my son, that is a correct assessment." Said Sarek.

" Why did she take this particular course of action father?" Asked Spock.

" It is one of the many intrigues of human courtship that I discovered. You mother wanted to come off as nonchalant about going to dinner with me, when in fact I believe that she was quite pleased that I had asked her. Her actions are not so different from those that you described James to have taken. I believe that your mother felt slightly embarrassed that she was so pleased I asked her to dinner. In James's case, he may have felt very similar to your mother and was embarrassed by those, and therefore told you that he wished to see the progress of the colony. I do believe that James did have an active interest in seeing New Vulcan's progress, but that it was quite secondary to simply being with you my son. " Explained Sarek.

" Has my explanation made sense to you my son?" Asked the Vulcan to his son.

Spock mulled his father's words over in his head before he silently nodded in acceptance.

" Yes father, and may I say that you were surprisingly astute in your explanation and your observations."

" Indeed, I am Vulcan after all, if there is one thing about our people, however few of us there are now, we are still known for our skills at understanding the more subtle things that come under our observations." Said Sarek.

" Well put father." Said Spock, with his eyes almost smiling.

" Indeed." Relied Sarek.

_About an hour later..._

Spock slowly walked down the hallway of his father's residence. His father's voice was still ringing in Spock's ears as he walked. Sarek had just verbally trounced him, like is deserved, and in a way that only a Vulcan could verbally trounce their offspring. Though Sarek had indeed been very disappointed in Spock, he had told his son that he was also pleased to see that he had made amends to the point where Jim was comfortable being here in New Vulcan with him. Sarek had told his son that it would be a little while before he forgave him for bringing such shame to them, but that he would eventually forgive as well.

Now, Spock walked along the corridors with his mind contemplative over all that had been said. But as Spock turned a corner and saw the door to the quest quarters, his thoughts immediately switched to the blue-eyed, blond haired individual he knew was currently occupying one of the sleeping areas of the quarters.

Feeling his pulse speed up just a tiny bit, Spock made his way to the door and stepped through when the door opened with a soft hiss. Once inside Spock found himself standing in the living room and he was faced with two options. On his right side was the doorway to his own sleeping area. On his left was Jim's sleeping area, where he knew his Jim was. Spock took one careful, measured step forward and look first at the door to his own sleeping area, and then to Jim's before he looked straight ahead.

Several long moments passed before Spock moved again. He turned towards his own sleeping area and took a couple of steps towards the arched doorway, but then he abruptly stopped. Another long beat passed before Spock slowly turned and began walking towards the doorway to Jim's sleeping area. This time his step did not falter as Spock carefully made his way inside Jim's sleeping area. Spock moved noiselessly into the room and came to stand near the doorway on the other side. His dark eyes immediately went to the bed, and its lone occupant. Jim lay on his side with one arm tucked under the pillow his head was resting on. The expression on his face was serene in light slumber. To Spock, Jim looked every bit as stunning as he thought the human to be.

However, as he stood there Spock once again began to question why he was currently standing there watching Jim sleep. Spock felt a momentary flare of uncomfortableness before he quashed down the feeling and forced himself to move instead of remaining idle by the door. With the stealth and grace of his Vulcan heritage, Spock noiselessly made his way across the room to Jim's bedside. Spock smoothly lowered himself to his knees next to the edge of Jim's bed. He took a moment to yet again admire Jim looking so truly peaceful after so long. Then, with mild reluctance Spock slowly reached out and gently rested his hand over Jim's shoulder and gave it a feather light squeeze.

Jim's brown knitted in a light frown at the disturbance. Spock squeezed Jim's shoulder a second time to rouse Jim and then withdrew his hand. Jim's eyes moved rapidly beneath his lids until his lids were fluttering open to reveal his striking blue eyes.

" Hmmph." Groaned Jim softly as he slowly came back to awareness.

Jim blinked a few times and then yawned lightly. He stretched his limbs and then noticed who it was that had woken him up.

" Spock?" Asked Jim as he slowly pushed himself up onto his elbows and gazed at Spock in confusion.

" What is it? What's wrong?" Asked Jim softly. " Why are you kneeling on the floor?"

Spock was silent, and he gazed at Jim with intensity. Jim stared back, unable to look away from those dark eyes.

" Spock?" Jim whispered, wondering what was going on.

The next thing he knew, Jim felt a pair of arms gently wrap around him, pulling him into a warm and loving embrace. Jim let out a soft gasp when he realized the Spock was holding him.

" Jim." Whispered Spock finally, his voice muffled against Jim's shoulder.

Jim was about to speak further, but his voice came our as a soft gasp as he felt Spock press a tender kiss to his neck and then bury his face against it. Jim's eyes fluttered shut for a split second. Seemingly out of their own volition, Jim's arms moved to wrap themselves tightly around Spock, returning the embrace with fervor. Jim rested his face against the sight of Spock's head, his cheek pressed up against Spock's delicately pointed ear. The two stayed that way for the better part of an eternity, neither man saying a single word.

Words could come later, right now they were once again simply Jim and Spock, and they were together.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 23**

_._

" So you told him about us? About everything that happened?" Jim asked quietly as he looked down at Spock.

He and Spock were currently reclined on the bed in Jim's bedroom area in Sarek's house with Spock resting his head against the center of Jim's chest. Spock lifted his head away, with some reluctance, and looked up to meet Jim's slightly troubled gaze and spoke.

" Yes Jim, I have informed my father of the true nature of our relationship after he made inquiries, which subsequently led to me revealing the events that transpired which led to our separation and reconciliation." Spock replied.

" Are you angry with me for doing this Jim?" He asked.

Jim was silent for a few moments before he shook his head and spoke.

" No Spock, I'm not mad or anything just... How did your father take it all?" He asked, uncertainty tinting his words.

" Jim if you are fearing that my father is displeased with our relationship, then let me assure you that that is definitely not the case. My father is accepting of us, quite accepting in fact." Spock explained.

He watched as Jim's entire being seemed do sigh in relief, but a moment later he was tensing up again as he spoke.

" But what about the rest of it? How did he take it when you told him about... you know?" Jim asked, a pained look passing across his face at mentioning the dark time he had suffered through, on some level was still trying to get through.

" My father was quite... appalled when I recounted what happened to you, and the part I played I played in adding to your misery by my foolish abandonment of you when you needed me most. My father made it quite clear how disgusted he was by how I treated you, and he expressed a desire to apologize to you himself." Spock explained. He watched as Jim's mouth fell open and a look of shock filled his handsome face.

" Wha-what do you mean your dad wants to apologize to me?" Jim asked when his voice returned to him.

" I believe that as my father, he wishes to apologize for the gross errors that I committed against you." Spock explained.

" But that doesn't make sense, your father has never done anything wrong by me." Jim said.

" I am in agreement with you Jim, my actions against you were my own and yet... I believe my father is under the pretense that as he is my parent and I his child, my shame... is his shame." Spock said softly, not for the first time feeling shame for the pain he had already inflicted on Jim, but now also feeling shame for the pain he had now caused his father after he had revealed the truth to him no more than a couple of hours earlier.

" I gotta go talk to him." Jim said, moving to get up. However, his actions were immediately halted when Spock minutely tightened his grip around Jim and shook his head.

" I am well aware that you would have a strong desire to speak with my father after I told you everything, but I must advise against this." Spock said.

" But why Spock?" Jim asked as he lay back down on the bed.

" I do not think my father would be particularly receptive to words of any kind at the moment. He did verbally reprimand me for the things I did, and afterwards he told me that he desired to meditate for a certain number of hours to process everything he had been made aware of today. I am sorry Jim, but you will have to wait." Spock explained.

Jim let out a small sigh as disappointment clouded his features, but then he looked up and saw the way Spock was gazing at him. Though his face was kept with most of the Vulcan neutrality, Spock could not keep everything he was feeling from shining through in his eyes. Jim could see the shame, guilt, and heartache swirling about in Spock's eyes. Feeling his own sadness rise up within his heart, Jim reached up and gently cupped Spock's cheek before he spoke.

" Are you okay?" He asked quietly while he lightly rubbed his thumb over the curve of Spock's high cheekbone.

Spock's whole body seemed to sigh as he leaned into Jim's warm touch before he nodded and spoke.

" I am well Jim." He said softly.

" But?" Jim asked.

" But I am seeing yet another consequence of my foolishness. My father has been deeply affected by what I have confessed to him, and though he is pleased that I have been making amends to you, and that we are together, he is very disappointed in me and he..." Spock trailed off, suddenly finding it difficult to speak.

" And he what Spock?" Jim asked, his own voice tinged with sadness.

" And he feels my mother's absence now more than any other time. " Spock answered softly.

No sooner had Spock said these words, he suddenly found himself wrapped in a tight embrace as Jim proceeded to squeeze him rather hard.

" I'm so sorry Spock." Jim said against Spock's neck.

Spock fervently returned Jim's embrace and after he let out a shaky breath he spoke.

" Why do you apologize Jim?" Spock asked into Jim's golden hair. "You have not done anything wrong."

" I guess it's just me being the illogical human you know and love Spock." Jim replied before he let out a slightly watery half-laugh and continued.

" Even with all that time that has passed, I still wish that I had been just a little bit faster when me and Sulu were on that drill, that I had stopped it before-Mmmph."

The rest of what Jim wanted to say was immediately halted by Spock's lips gently pressing against his own in a deep yet chaste kiss. It effectively stunned Jim into silence. Spock drew back and nearly smiled at the slightly dazed look on Jim's face before he spoke.

" No Jim, do not apologize for that which was well beyond your control. There was nothing more you could have done, than what you did do. You actions were valiant, and you saved Lt. Sulu's life." Spock said softly, almost whispering.

" Well, let's not forget Chekov and his totally awesome transporter locking skills." Jim smiled as he blinked away the sudden moister that had accumulated in his eyes.

" Indeed, I owe the young Ensign a great deal for saving he who has become the love of my life." Spock said, meaning it with all the fiber of his being.

He watched as Jim grinned wide before he ducked his head in a futile attempt to hide the color that had filled his cheeks at Spock's declaration of love.

" Since when did you become such a romantic?" Jim asked when he looked back up to meet Spock's dark-eyed gaze.

" Since I threw away the best thing, the best person in my life and was somehow allowed to gain him back." Spock answered truthfully.

Jim's grin softened to a warm smile before he leaned in and pressed his lips to Spock's. He waited for the Vulcan to respond in kind to him before he deepened the kiss into something that was not very chaste, yet not all the way there yet to heated passion. It was a happy medium that Spock, after a moment of surprise, was more than pleased to partake in fully. When they drew back several moments later, Jim was breathing a little harder than normal, and there was a pale green flush to Spock's cheeks and the tips of his pointed ears.

" I'm glad that I'm here with you." Jim whispered.

" As am I." Spock replied.

Jim smiled brightly before a mischievous glint filled his eyes. Spock had enough time to notice this glint before he was letting out a very Un-Vulcan-like yelp as Jim skillfully switched their positions so that he was on top and Spock found himself effectively, yet gently pinned.

Jim smiled down at Spock before he spoke.

" Now, enough of this dwelling in the past. You, Mr. Spock, are going to tell me what I have to look forward to here on New Vulcan since we're gonna be here for a whole month, and knowing you, I'd like as much detail as possible." He said before he leaned in dangerously close, to where his lips almost grazed Spock's as he continued.

" So get to it Commander."

Spock reached up and slowly wrapped his arms around Jim, his pale, long-fingered hands splaying across the small of Jim's back, lightly pressing the human closer to him and earning a small gasp from said human as he spoke.

" Yes Captain, what ever you command." Spock rumbled deeply.

_A good hour and a half later... _

Jim tried to be as quiet as he could while he slowly walked down one of the hallways of Sarek's residence. He had left Spock to his light meditation back in their shared quarters. Now Jim was on the lookout for the other Vulcan he was going to be living with. As he walked Jim took his surroundings, once again appreciating the simple yet elegant decor of Sarek's home. When Jim reached the end of the hallway that led to the common area, he decided to go down one of the hallways that began on the opposite side of the area as he continued to search for Spock's father.

Jim's instincts proved fruitful as he entered the hallway and caught sight of a dim light coming from one of the open arched doorways just a little ways ahead of him. Jim felt a wave of unbidden nervousness rise up inside himself as he slowly made his way towards the door. Jim didn't have a clue as to what to expect. He didn't even know if he would even find Sarek in the room itself, and if he did, what kind of reception he would receive. Spock had warned him after all, and now Jim was wondering if he had waited enough before embarking on this pseudo-mission to have a heart to heart with his lover's father.

When he had just about reached the door, Jim stood beside it out of sight so that he could gather his nerves. Jim took a moment to snort at himself in derision, he was the famed Captain of the _USS_ _Enterprise_, and man who had faced down some terrifying situations and lived to tell the tale, Hell, he along with the rest of his crew and saved Earth from eminent destruction from a deranged Romulan. from the future. He had faced all that and yet here he was, hesitating at the doorway when it came to facing the father of his lover.

Naturally the self-derision was soon morphing into silent determination. There was no way he was backing down, not when there was so much that needed to be said and clarified. With this in mind, Jim steadied his nerve and took that first step forward. Jim slowly moved forward, turning as he did so into the arched-threshold.

The moment his eyes settled on the interior of the room, Jim felt himself fresh involuntarily for a fleeting moment before he forced himself to stand where he was and relax just a little.

There, seated Indian style on a simple, pale green mat on the floor was Sarek. Spock's father had his back to Jim, and was sitting unnervingly still. The room itself was what Jim assumed was Sarek's meditation room. The room itself had an alcove like quality to it, as though it were a sanctuary for Sarek to retreat to after a long and hot day. The walls were made of a slightly darker hued stone than the rest of the house was, and there were pale green and deep amber Vulcan tapestries hanging from them. The light that was illuminating the room came from what appeared to be candles encased in glass, but as Jim looked closer he saw that they were indeed not really candles but some kind of fire-less lantern. Several of these cylindrical lights adorned the wall that Sarek was facing. Before Jim could look any further, a deep and quiet voice rang out, effectively startling him.

" Please come in James, there is no need for you to simple stand in the doorway." Sarek said without turning from where he sat.

" Yes sir, sorry... I didn't mean to gawk or anything." Jim said quickly, his voice sounding way too loud in his own ears as he hurriedly stepped into the room.

Gathering his wits about him in record time, Jim noticed the extra meditation mats that were neatly rolled up and stacked neatly into a pyramid shape against the wall that was to Sarek's right. Jim made a qiuck B-line and grabbed one of these mats. Sarek turned his head slightly so that he could watch the human in his company. Though he remained almost perfectly still and blank-faced, Sarek was internally surprised by the actions he was seeing Jim take.

Sarek watched on wordlessly and Jim came to stand beside him where he sat, before gracefully sinking to his knees and setting the rolled up mat on the floor in front of him. Within a few seconds Jim had the mat unrolled and was taking his seat on it. Jim sat cross-legged on the mat and settled himself, but when he looked up at the wall where the lights were, he froze when he saw what was there among the glass cylinders.

There situation on a shelf at the very center of the many cylindrical lights was a medium-sized holo-picture frame of a stunning human woman with dark brown hair, a bright smile, and deep, almost black eyes that were exactly like Spock.

Spock's mother, Amanda Grayson.

Though he had seen a pictures of her that Spock possessed, he had never seen this particular portrait. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Seeing this woman's image, knowing who she was to both Sarek and Spock, and remembering why all he could do no was gaze at her portrait instead of see her in person had Jim's eyes burning despite himself.

From where he sat beside Jim, Sarek was silently taken aback by the sadness that had filled Jim's features within the span of a few seconds. It didn't take Sarek long to figure out why as he saw how Jim was looking at Amanda's portrait. Despite all of his Vulcan sensibility, Sarek found himself feeling a myriad of strong emotions as he gazed at his young, albeit unexpected companion.

To see the depth of sadness held in Jim's striking blue eyes made Sarek look at the young human with a silent, renewed respect, but it also made the Vulcan curious as to the reason why Jim looked so saddened, besides the obvious reason in that Amanda had perished with Vulcan.

" James?" Sarek asked quietly to get the young man's attention.

" Yes sir?" Jim replied as he pried his gaze away from the portrait of Spock's mother.

" Have you taken your rest?" Sarek asked.

" Yes sir, I am very well rested." Jim answered with a fleeting smile before he quickly sobered and continued.

" Spock and I talked for a while shortly after he came back to our quarters."

" Indeed, what has my son told you?" Sarek asked.

" He told me that you wished to apologize to me." Jim replied before he continued.

" With all due respect sir, I personally can't figure out why you would think this way."

" Is it not obvious to you James? I wish to apologize on behalf of my son for the gross way he had treated you." Sarek answered.

Jim sighed heavily and shook his head before he gazed up at Sarek with sad blue eyes and spoke.

" Sir, please don't do that. You can't blame yourself for what happened between Spock and me." Jim said quietly. " What happened between us, that was on him, and on me."

" What do you mean by that Jim, what role did you play in the way my son behaved with you?" Sarek asked confusion barely tinting his neutral tone.

" What I mean is that I think that things maybe would've turned out way different, and maybe less disastrous had I not cultivated such a reputation of being so... sexually active." Jim explained with a light blush of embarrassment filling his cheeks.

At this, Sarek raised one of his dark, elegant eyebrows, Jim had to keep from grinning because he now knew where Spock learned it from, and spoke.

" I take it that this so-called reputation is mostly exaggerated then?" Sarek asked.

" The downside of being so flirtatious by nature, people start making assumptions." Jim said flatly.

" Be that as it may James, it plays a very little part in the fact that Spock was one to make such an assumption about you, despite the fact that the both of you were in a monogamous relationship at the time." Sarek said gravely before he looked away and continued.

" I am having... difficulty in processing what I have been made aware of today."

" I know, and I am so sorry." Jim said, meaning it whole-heartedly. Then he took a deep breath and continued.

" Sarek?" He asked and waited for the Vulcan to meet his gaze before he continued.

" Your son made a mistake, a pretty big one at that, but I want you to know that I have forgiven him for the way he treated me, and that he has done a great deal to make things right between us." Jim said, all the while feeling his throat starting to constrict. Jim battled it all back and continued, saying what he really needed to say.

" I love him." Jim said softly, letting out a slightly watery huff before he continued. " I know that what happened between us should've broken us beyond any kind of repair, but we... we managed to somehow make it back to each other. I just... I don't want what happened to end up destroying things between the both of you."

When Jim's soft voice trailed away, a deep silence descended over the meditation room. While Jim sat wondering if he had just said the absolute worst thing he could have said to the father of the person he loved, Sarek sat staring at Jim, feeling something akin to awe within his very katra. Out of everything he had expected to come out of Jim's mouth, Sarek had not expected _that. _

Such selflessness and earnestness coming from one that many thought of as youthfully brash and arrogant. It made Sarek see Jim anew, and it served to also remind Sarek of someone else he knew, who had held the same qualities of selflessness and earnestness.

She whom he had loved, and unfortunately, lost.

In that moment the similarities Sarek saw between the young man sitting before him, and the wife who had been viciously ripped away from by a lone madman's actions were staggering, and the emotions this brought up inside him were like a great deluge straight to his very katra itself. It took all of Sarek's Vulcan discipline to keep his composure in tact and once he was sure that he would not loss said composure and most likely have James running out of the room in search of emergency medical assistance, Sarek spoke.

" Again, as I told my son in our earlier conversation, the human capacity to forgive and now the capacity to love shall forever be something I will regard as remarkable." Sarek said quietly.

" Sir I-" Jim wanted to tell Sarek that there was nothing remarkable about anything he had done when Sarek had held up his hand and effectively silence him.

" James, let me assure you that, while I find his actions to be horrendously deplorable, Spock is my son and this he shall always be. As I told him, it is the way that he had acted that has garnered my deep disappointment, not he himself. It will take me some time to process everything that I have learned today, but I shall not turn Spock, or you from my house." Sarek said firmly.

Jim smiled softly, a relieved smile if anything else, and nodded mutely before he turned his attention back to Amanda's picture. Taking in a deep breath, Jim drew his knees up into his chest and wrapped his arms around them before he spoke.

" Spock has her eyes." Jim said quietly as he smiled deeply.

" Indeed." Sarek replied as he too looked to his late wife's image. " When she and I first met all those years ago, it were her eyes that had first captivated me."

" And the rest of her captivated you I take it?" Jim said with a playful smirk.

Sarek turned to meet Jim's warm gaze and quirked his elegant brow once more, as though to silently say _What do you think kid? _

Jim grinned widely before he turned back to the portrait. As he stared at the image of the late Amanda Grayson, Jim found his smile quickly dissipating, replaced with sadness.

" She must have been an extraordinary woman." Jim sighed.

" Indeed, she was... an exceptional bondmate to me, and an even more exemplary mother to Spock." Sarek said without any shame for showing such sentimentality.

Sarek watched as a rueful expression filled Jim's features. Though he was indeed very curious as to why Jim's expression became such, Sarek remained silent, not wanting to pry. He needn't have worried because the next words that came out of Jim's mouth would answer his silent question.

" I've never told Spock this but, I've always been kind of envious of him in this aspect." Jim said with a humorless chuckle.

" To what aspect are you referring to Jim?" Sarek asked.

" That he grew up with a mother who could smile like that." Jim answered as he gestured at Amanda's picture.

Sarek mulled over Jim's words carefully before he spoke.

" I take it that the motherly affection that alway seemed inherent in my wife was not to be found in she who is your mother?" He asked neutrally.

" No sir, I can't say that it was." Jim said as he turned to give Sarek a wan smile. " All my mother every saw in me was a painful reminder of the husband she lost."

Jim paused to take a deep breath and sighed before he shook his head and continued.

" Nero screwed up my life first before he set his sights on you and your people. From the few pictures I've seen of him, I am almost an exact duplicate of my father. I think it's why my mother couldn't really look at me, why she would run off to some deep space mission with Starfleet whenever she could while I was growing up."

Jim trailed off into silence as memories of a childhood that had been empty and overshadowed by the specter of a dead father filled his mind.

Sarek sat and regarded the young man before him. Indeed, Jim was young by many standard, and yet in his relatively short life he had endured a great deal. It effectively boggled Sarek's mind that someone like Jim, who had from what Sarek was quickly deducing, had been dealt a great deal of pain by those closest to him, could still have such a bright quality to him, and be such a good man. Taking in a small breath himself, Sarek spoke.

" It would seem that the event that transpired between yourself and my son was not the first instance of... abandonment you have experienced." He stated quietly.

" No sir, it most definitely was not. In addition to a mother who would rather be up in the stars with the memory of her dead husband, I also have a brother who ran away from home when I was eleven and left me behind, and a string of dead-beat step-fathers who were either to drunk to notice I existed, or said it straight to my face that they wanted nothing to do with me." Jim said with a humorless smirk and anger marring his tone.

But just as quickly as the anger had filled Jim's voice, Jim was deflating and shaking his head in disgust at himself.

" Listen to me going on about my crappy upbringing, to my boyfriend's dad no less." Jim said before he sent Sarek an apologetic look. " I'm sorry, I didn't mean to talk you ear off sir."

" James, let me assure you that this conversation has in no way led to the detachment of either of my ears from my head." Sarek said with absolute serious.

Before he could stop himself, Jim was throwing his head back and letting out a fully, belly laugh. Sarek gazed at Jim while he laughed, wondering what was so amusing since he had merely stated a fact, and also noticing that Jim's already aesthetically pleasing features seemed amplified now that they were filled with mirth.

" Oh man, now I see who Spock get's it from." Jim chuckled once he had reigned in his laughter.

" To what exactly are you referring to James?" Sarek asked.

" I'm sorry if my emotional outburst made you uncomfortable sir, it's just that, Spock has a way of taking some of what I say rhetorically literally just like you did a few seconds ago." Jim said with a warm smile.

" Well, I am his father after all, certain traits are naturally passed on." Sarek said.

" Yes, and that particular trait always makes me smile."Jim admitted.

" I am pleased that you view it so positively. And as for what you said before, rest assured that all that you have revealed to me was by no means a waste of time. I am, gratified that you were willing to share such details about you past." Sarek said, before his eye shuttered somewhat as he continued.

" However, it does dishearten me a great deal to know that my son is among those who abandoned you." He said while his eyes momentarily went to the floor before traveling back up to meet Jim's striking blue gaze.

Jim let out a saddened sigh and nodded before he looked Sarek straight in the eye and spoke.

" You're right, Spock did abandon me when I needed him most, Hell, so did my best friend and the members of my crew who I thought would have my back." Jim said quietly as he felt the dull, distant sting of that particular hurt in his heart. But Jim quickly forced the memories and the pain of what had happened in the past from his mind as he continued.

" But there is a key difference that sets Spock and my crew apart from everyone else." He said.

" What may that be James?" Sarek asked.

" It's been years since I've heard from or seen my brother Sam, and my mother's made it quite clear that she's washed her hands of me, especially when she found out that I joined Starfleet. And as for the numerous step-fathers, well, that's a lost cause entirely." Jim explained before he continued.

" What I want you to know sir, is that it was different with Spock and my crew in that, they may have abandoned me, but they came back. They accepted that they had all been wrong, but they didn't just give up because things got massively screwed up, they all worked hard to regain the trust I had lost in them, especially you son." Jim said with a smile that was somehow both sad and happy at the same time.

Sarek was silent for several long moment, just gazing at Jim with a quiet intensity that was so very much like Spock. Jim did his best not to squirm under the Vulcan gaze as he met it head on. Then Sarek parted his lips and spoke.

" You are indeed a very extraordinary being James T. Kirk. I am honored, now more than I was prior that you are a guest in my house, and even more so that you are the companion of my son." The Vulcan said, silently meaning every word.

It was Jim's turn to be silent, although astonishment was his reason for being so. But when he did manage to get his vocal cords to work properly, he used them.

" Th-Thank you for saying that sir, you honor me greatly." Jim said with a shaky smile.

" And you're pretty extraordinary yourself Sarek of New Vulcan." He added.

If Jim wanted to indulge in a fantasy, he might have just seen the corner of Sarek's thinly held lips curl upward minutely for a few fleeting moments before his lips were once again a straight line. But seeing as to how Jim had the faint blur of accumulated tears in his eyes, he'd just say that he was seeing things.

" I thank thee for thy kind words." Sarek said with a small bow of his head before he turned his gaze to Amanda's portrait and spoke without looking at Jim.

" And I can make the accurate assumption that she who was my wife would have been honored by your presence as well."

That nearly did Jim in. The blond quickly turned his rapidly filling eyes to Amanda's portrait as well. When he managed to keep the tears at bay and get his lower-lip to stop trembling, Jim spoke.

" Like wise sir, like wise." Jim said shakily.

Thankfully for him, Sarek and he descended into a warm, comfortable silence. Each lost in thoughts of what had transpired between them, what the future held, and the woman who's portrait they were sitting before in homage to.

What neither Sarek or Jim noticed what the tall and slender figure standing beside the doorway, silently watching over them both. From where he stood hidden, Spock turned away from the sight of his father and his lover sitting side by side on the floor, gazing at the picture of his late mother. Spock had arrived in time to hear some of Jim and Sarek's conversation. What Jim had said filled Spock with both renewed guilt, and deeper love. Spock had lost the privilege of being this extraordinary man's lover once, he would never, ever do so again. To see his father so accepting of Jim, and to see them both sitting side by side having a deep and cathartic conversation with each other had been wondrous to behold.

Feeling a myriad of emotion to profound to even begin to categorize, Spock smoothly turned away from the door to his father's meditation room and began heading back down the hallway towards the main living room area.

Spock had it in mind to head out to the veranda where they had all enjoyed lunch together and leave two of the most important people in his life to further conversation.

And if Spock reached up to wipe a minute amount of moisture from the corner of his eye as he walked, well no one was around to see him do so.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 24**

_._

Spock blinked slowly as he gazed out at the light, amber colored sands that surrounded his father's home. It was just about late afternoon over Vafer-tor, and Spock was standing along on the veranda that was attached to his father's residence. Sarek's new house was very similar to the home Spock had lived in as a child with his parents on Vulcan. That home, one of his parents, nearly all of his people, and his home planet itself had all been viciously ripped away from him, never to be retrieved.

But as he stood there in silent contemplation, Spock remembered something else that was precious to him, that had also been ripped away from him as well. Because of his own stupidity, and the disgraceful actions of a perverted alien diplomat, Spock's prior life with Jim had effectively been shredded into a million or more pieces. But unlike the loss of his mother and his home world, Spock had somehow managed to retrieve some of what he had lost with Jim, mainly Jim himself.

A part of Spock, most likely his human half could still scarcely believe that he and Jim were somehow back together, and that they were here at his father's house on New Vulcan. But Spock was no fool, nor was he suffering from any kind of delusion about the reality of things. Sure, Jim was with him, they were together, but Spock knew full well that Jim was no where near back to the confident man he had been before the horrifying ordeal he had suffered through during the diplomatic missions involving the Antarians.

It deeply pained Spock to know that Jim had not yet recovered himself in regards to intimacy. Spock whole heartedly desired to help Jim overcome this obstacle, but he dared not overstep any of the boundaries that he himself had places. Jim was still haunted by what had happened, and Spock would first put a phaser, set to kill, to his own head before he ever added to Jim's fears with any kind of sexual advances.

They were here now, and things were going pretty well between them, and Spock would do all that was within his power to keep it as such. And besides all that, Spock had been patient in regards to everything thus far, there wasn't any reason why he could not remain that way still, for as long as it would take.

He could earn back the privilege of intimacy with Jim, like he had earned back what he had with the young man thus far.

Spock probably would have spent the rest of the day immersed in his thoughts about the dilemmas that still remained between himself and Jim, but the deep, and familiar voice of Jim himself broke Spock out of his musings.

" Spock?" Jim called as he stepped out onto the veranda.

Spock turned to see Jim standing by the doorway and he immediately made quick work of getting across the veranda to the blond.

" Jim." Spock greeted back once he was standing before the young man.

As he quietly observed Jim, Spock noticed that Jim's eyes were a little red, and he seemed slightly drained. Though he already had a good idea that this was because of the very charged and cathartic conversation he had partaken in with Sarek, Spock decided to still ask Jim anyway.

" Are you alright Jim?"

The small smile that was already adorning Jim's features widened before he nodded and spoke.

" Yeah Spock, I'm good. Plus, I just took one of the tri-ox hypos Bones was so gracious enough to pack for me, so I won't be passing out on you from the heat."

" That is very well Jim, I would not wish for you to lose consciousness on what is your very first day here on New Vulcan." Spock nodded.

" Likewise." Jim added as he and Spock began walking further into the veranda. The pair came to stand by the railing, they stood side by side in a comfortable silence.

They stayed that way for a long while, just taking in the quietly beautiful New Vulcan landscape that encompassed Sarek's house. It was Jim who finally broke the silence.

" It's really beautiful out here." He sighed while he leaned against the railing.

" Indeed, the scenery is very much like that which existed on Vulcan." Spock said, before a small glint filled his dark eyes.

" However, I find that the scenery before us is not the most aesthetically thing that is among us."

To this, Jim turned to look at Spock with a slight frown, until he saw the way Spock was looking at him. In an instant, Jim realized the meaning behind Spock's words. A deep rush of several emotions, from warmth to slight embarrassment, rose up inside of Jim as he felt his face heat up and he turned his head away with a shy smile.

To Spock, this act only made Jim look even more breathtaking, but he stayed silent and waited for Jim to make the next move.

" Spock, I'm not some girl y'know. You don't have to say things like that." Jim said without really meeting Spock's deep, dark eyes.

" On the contrary, and please forgive my boldness Jim, but I believe that I should have to say such things. I desire to let you know that despite all that has transpired, both between us, and with you yourself, that I too believe you to be an extraordinary being." Spock said.

Jim gave a small jerk of surprise before he looked at Spock with a knowing look as he spoke.

" I take it, you heard what me and your dad talked about."

" Only a small portion of the end of it." Spock said, before he ducked his head slightly and continued. " Forgive me for eavesdropping on you Jim. I had simple been in search of you after I had completed my meditation and happened to come across you and my father in his meditation room. I will understand if this has angered you in some-"

The rest of what Spock wanted to say was abruptly cut short when the Vulcan felt a pair of warm and soft human lips cover his own in an unexpected kiss. But before Spock could properly respond, Jim was drawing back with a satisfied smirk on his face. The smirk quickly turned into a soft smile as Jim caught the slightly wideness to Spock's dark eyes, and the faint green flush to the tips of his delicately pointed ears. Jim reached out and gently cupped the side of Spock's neck as he spoke.

" It's alright Spock, I'm not angry or anything, Hell, maybe you could have joined us and I could've talked some sense into you both about your shared guilt complexes." Jim said with a small grin that was tinted with the barest hint of remorse.

" Perhaps there will be time later on in our stay here where the three of us will be able to sit together and discuss certain matters." Spock said as he reached up to cover the hand Jim had on his neck with his own.

Jim's smile turned into a blinding grin when he felt Spock's hand over his own, the sensation of a live current buzzing between them at the skin to skin contact. Spock's face remained stoic as was customary for a Vulcan, but his eyes were bright with veiled joy as well.

Feeling somewhat emboldened by the good atmosphere between them, Spock decided to take a calculated risk. The Vulcan took a small step closer and then carefully wrapped his free arm around Jim, gently pulling the blond to him. Jim stiffened for a split second until he realized what Spock was doing. With his grin softening to a quiet smile, Jim stepped forward and moved to wrap his own arms around Spock in turn.

" Thank you allowing me to hold you like this. I have desired to do so in the twenty-five point our minutes since I left you and my father in his meditation room and came out here to the veranda." Spock said softly.

" Well, I'm glad you didn't have to wait any longer than you did." Jim smiled against Spock's shoulder.

" And, you're welcome Spock." He added softly before he promptly buried his face into the junction where Spock's neck met his shoulder.

Spock simply gave a small, silent nod in reply before he tightened his own hold around Jim and pressed his face into Jim's hair.

They stood there outside under the New Vulcan sun, totally oblivious to all else but each other. They did not notice the Vulcan eyes that were silently watching them from within the house. From where he stood hidden beside the door to the Veranda, Sarek watched as his son embraced the human who was his chosen companion. Sarek felt a myriad of things as he gazed at the pair.

Sarek was once again silently marveling at the capacity for love and forgiveness he was seeing in Jim. And beneath all of his Vulcan heritage and discipline, Sarek found himself also feeling a deep sense of pride in his son for having somehow managed to earn back the love of the human he was holding after so much negativity had transpired between them.

With a small nod of silent approval, Sarek turned away from the door to the veranda, and the quiet but very poignant seen he had just born witness to. The elder Vulcan left Jim and Spock to their embrace, and headed towards the hallway that would lead him to the kitchen where he could over see the arrangements for diner later in the evening.

_A few hours later..._

Jim let out a small sigh as he sat on the wide window sill of the arched window that stood in his room. The sun was setting over New Vulcan, painting the skies a striking red color that seemed to paint everything from the Heavens up above, to the sandy, arid land down below. It was absolutely beautiful.

A small smiled curved Jim's full lips as he gazed at the red sky. Sarek had informed both him and Spock that dinner would be served in about two hours. Shortly there after Spock had left the house, saying that there was an errand he needed to run. Jim's smile widened a bit when he remembered how just before Spock had taken his leave, he had stolen a quick kiss before all but hightailing it out of there in his father's hover car.

Though Jim was curious as to what the errand Spock had gone off to do was, he put it to the back of his mind, knowing that he would find out soon enough when Spock returned. Jim rose from his seat and stretched lightly before he stepped away from the window and made a B-line for the glass table that stood next to the window. There was a small computer terminal on top of the table, and Jim decided to use it for the purpose of a sub-space communication.

Jim sat down in the surprisingly comfortable chair that was with the table and pressed the button to turn the computer terminal on.

As he waited for the terminal to boot up, Jim felt his eagerness to get on the terminal rapidly increase. When the terminal was booted, Jim immediately went to work, activating the video-chat features of the terminal. Once he had the program open and sent out his invite to the person he wanted to take to, Jim waited for the reply. At first there was only the loading screen, but after about two or three minutes, there was a soft chime as the screen changed, and a familiar face filled the screen.

" Hey Bones." Jim smiled as he gazed at the good doctor's face on the screen.

" Hey you, took you long enough to call me up." Bones replied with a mock scowl.

" Oh lay off, it's only my first day here." Jim groused back good-naturedly.

" Are you baking you butt off?" Bones asked with a small smirk.

" You'd like that wouldn't you?" Jim challenged before he let out a small snort. " I'm fine, I think the temperature controls in my bedroom have been set so that I'm comfortable, and I've been taking the tri-ox compound you packed for me."

" Well, that's very considerate of the Hobgoblins, and I'm surprised you've been hyposprayin' yourself without fuss. I think the hot air's already messed with your brain somehow." Bones commented, sounded dead serious.

Jim burst out into a fit of hearty chuckles before he shook his head.

" God, even all the way from Earth, you're just so bossy." Jim teased.

" Well someone's gotta be when it comes to you." Bones said flatly before he continued. " How are things with the colony though, they doin' alright?"

" Yeah Bones, the colony is doing really well. They've basically got a small city going on here. Spock said he'd show me around later." Jim replied.

" Say, where is Pointy-ears anyway?" Bones asked. " Thought he'd be glued to your side and everything."

" He went on some errand, he said he's be back before dinner." Jim explained.

" Is the food as bland and stunted as the people?" Bones ribbed good-naturedly.

" Surprisingly, neither the food or the people are bland in anyway. Sarek had lunch prepared for us a little while after we arrived, and I gotta say that I really liked some of the things that were on the menu. Sure was better than anything a replicator ever conjured up. " Jim said in all honesty.

" Don't know whether or not I should take your word for it Jim, there's a pretty good chance you're biased." Bones snarked.

" Oh come off it, if you don't believe me, you'll just have to come to New Vulcan and try it for yourself." Jim countered.

" Huh, it'd have to be something ordered by Starfleet, some kind of wide spread medical crisis, or a really, really auspicious event for that to every happen." Bones mock-scoffed.

" well if that's the case, I'll have to ask if there is anything special coming up on the calendar and let you know." Jim said with a chuckle.

" It'd have to be something extra special for me to come to a place that's hotter and dryer then the Sahara." Bones quipped.

" You never know Bones, something extra special might come up." Jim replied with a shrug.

" Well, we'll just have to see then." Bones said before he let out a small huff and continued. " And in the very, very off chance that you call me up about some big event, I might just hope on the next available ship and see you and the colony for myself."

" I'll hold you to your words, make no mistake Dr. Leonard Horatio McCoy." Jim said with a bright grin.

" Oh, the usage of the full name, you must be pretty serious behind those teeth. Well, you know me, I'm a man of my word." Bones smiled.

" Like the perfect Southern gentleman your mama raised you to be." Jim said with an airy, fake southern accent while he batted his eyelashes.

Bones rolled his eyes in mock exasperation but couldn't help the wide grin that spread across his face at his best friend's playfulness. After that the pair went into an easy conversation about how things were in there respective shore-leave destinations and what other plans they had for the rest of the time they had off.

About twenty minutes later, Jim was reluctantly bidding Bones goodbye and signing off of the computer terminal. The blond made his way out of his and Spock's shared quarters and headed down the room towards the front of Sarek's house. When he reached the end of the hall that led into the living room area, Jim was greeted by Sarek, who was sitting on one of the plush sofas with a data PADD in his hand.

" James, please have a seat." Sarek said as he stood up and gestured to his guest.

Jim smiled and nodded before he walked over and took a seat next to Sarek.

" Spock still out of his errand?" Jim asked, not feeling so nervous sitting next to Sarek.

" I believe so, I sent Spock out to fetch someone who desired to join us for dinner this evening." Sarek explained.

" Oh, who's this guest?" Jim asked immediately.

Sarek parted his lips to answer Jim, but before he could utter anything, the sound of the front door suddenly opening had both Jim and Sarek turning to see who had arrived.

When his eyes fell of just who it was Spock had brought back with him, Jim felt his heart leap as a wide grin immediately spread across his face.

" Selik!" Jim all but yelled as he shot up from the sofa and rushed over to the newly arrived quest, one Spock Prime, now known by the name Jim had just cried out.

" Jim, it pleases me greatly to see you here on Vafer-Tor." Selik said with the ghost of a smile on his weathered face as he and Jim embraced each other.

From where he stood a few feet behind his elder counterpart, Spock watched Jim hug the older Vulcan and felt a small twinge at how comfortable Jim looked in Prime's arms. Spock also felt the sting of shame raise it's head inside him, because he felt that he had no right to harbor ay sort of feeling of envy. While he had hurt Jim so terribly all those months ago, this version of himself had done nothing of the sort to Jim, and was therefore free to be as affectionate as he wanted with Jim.

When Jim and Selik drew back from each other, all warmth and soft smiles, Jim turned his attention to where Spock was standing and immediately went to him while Selik walked over to where Sarek was standing in order to greet the other Vulcan, who was technically his father.

" So you snuck off to bring back another guest for dinner?" Jim asked with a smile.

" Father and I both agreed that there was a high probability that bring Elder Selik here to join us in the evening repast would serve to please you. Were we correct in doing so Jim?" Spock asked.

" Well yeah, if the smile on my face in any indication. Thank you." Jim smiled before he surprised both himself and Spock by reaching out and taking one of the Vulcan's pale hands in his own and giving in a light squeeze.

Spock was stunned for a moment, knowing full well that Jim was aware of how intimate his actions were. The two of them were basically kissing the Vulcan way right now, and Spock couldn't help but silently revel in the sensation. He gently squeezed Jim's hand back before he reluctantly drew away, not wanting to scandalize any of the Vulcan sensibilities that were among them.

" You have no need to thank me Jim. I have not done anything of extraordinary value here." Spock said quietly.

" I'd have to disagree with you there, not many would be comfortable with bringing another version of themselves over for dinner and seeing their boyfriend hug said alternate version." Jim countered.

" I witnessed how it pleased you, therefore I have no qualms." Spock replied.

Jim opened his mouth, but then closed it before he ducked his head and smiled shyly before he looked back up to meet Spock's dark eyed gaze. The moment their gazes met, the air seemed to become charged with a sort of quiet energy that hummed between them. In that moment there was so much that Jim wanted to say and do, and the feeling was mutual for Spock. But then Sarek's voice rang out, breaking the moment.

" James, Spock, let us all proceed. Dinner has been prepared and arranged for us outside on the veranda."

" Well then, lead the way sir." Jim smiled before he turned to Spock. " C'mon, I'm starving."

" Then we shall have to remedy this immediately." Selik said with a small quirk of the corner of his lip.

With a nod of agreement, Sarek led the way outside to the veranda with Selik close behind, and Jim with Spock walking a bit closer to him than was normal rounding out the group.

Outside, the table where Jim, Sarek, and Spock had enjoyed lunch earlier that day was now laden with a various array of Vulcan dishes, and much to Jim's silent glee he could clearly make out the large bowl of plomeek soup with his name on it amidst the veritable spread.

" I take it from the expression on your face that dinner has met your approval James?" Sarek asked neutrally, though he was secretly pleased by Jim's quiet enthusiasm.

Before Jim could say that yes, he approved of the dinner spread very much, his stomach beat him to it with aloud rumble that the three sets of Vulcan ears had no problems hearing. There was a beat of silence, and then Jim was ducking his head as a sputtering laugh erupted out of him.

" Well, I guess that answers your question sir." Jim chuckled.

From where he stood next to Jim, Spock felt a small wave of heat uncurl in the pit of his stomach at the sight of Jim's smile. Whenever mirth filled Jim's pleasing features, it made them all the more brilliant in Spock's eyes. Spock felt the strange urge to simply grab Jim and kiss him senseless, but Spock naturally restrained himself from doing so for it was rather unbecoming for a Vulcan, especially in front of his father and his alternate self, who were two Vulcan elders. In addition, Spock was fairly certain that Jim would not be really receptive to his actions if he had actually taken such liberties.

The three Vulcans and one human made their way over to the food-laden table and took their seats. Spock immediately took his seat right next to Jim, while Sarek and Selik took their seats across from the pair. From where he sat, Selik gazed at the younger versions of himself and Jim Kirk and felt a momentary surge of nostalgia as he remembered how he and his Jim had once enjoyed dinner with his father much like they were all about to do so now. But that had been another life, another time, and in a place that no longer existed in this universe thanks to Nero's madness.

As he quietly observed his younger self and Jim, Selik noticed a sort of shyness between the pair that had not been there in any of the previous encounters he had had with them. There was also a hint of sadness in Jim that had not been there previously. As he watched Jim tuck into a bowl of freshly poured plomeek soup while Spock began digging into the plate of Vulcan stir-fry he had picked from himself, Selik made a mental note to sit down and speak to them both, perhaps after dinner.

For now, Selik thought it best to simply enjoy dinner with those who were in essence, his family.

Dinner was filled with easy conversations and warm compliments to Sarek's personal chef and his staff for a very authentic and surprisingly tasty meal. Jim himself had eaten a little bit of everything until his stomach was well and full. Bones may have called him biased when he had raved about Vulcan cuisine, but Jim was fairly certain that even without the so-called bias, he would have been raving about dinner regardless.

After all of the dishes had been cleared away, the quartet sat at the table, satiated of hunger and lulled into quiet conversation. It was here that Spock Prime saw an opportunity to speak with Jim.

" I beg everyone's pardon, but would it be permissible to speak with you in private Jim?" Selik asked.

Though he was not expecting this, Jim quickly recovered and looked from his Spock to Sarek before settling his gaze on Selik and spoke.

" Yeah, that would be just fine. I'm sure neither of you mind, right?" Jim asked with the barest hint of uncertainty as he looked from Sarek to Spock.

" James, you are free to do as you please. If you desire to speak with Elder Selik, then by all means do so. You need not ask for permission of any kind, to even believe so is quite illogical." Sarek replied.

Jim ducked his head slightly sheepishly, feeling his cheeks heat up at Sarek's kind words before he looked up to meet Spock's gaze. The Vulcan gave his own nod of agreement while gazing at Jim with veiled warmth.

" I believe that you would enjoy speaking with Elder Selik Jim, and he appears to want very greatly to speak with you as well." Spock said.

" Spock, perhaps you could join me in my office then. I wish to speak with you as well about certain matters." Sarek chimed in as he rose to his feet.

The others followed suit in Sarek's wake.

" I'll see you later then Spock." Jim said with a smile.

" Indeed." Spock replied before he reluctantly moved away from Jim and followed after his father as Sarek led the way back into his house.

This left Jim and Elder Selik to each other out on the veranda.

" Come Jim, let us converse for there is much to discuss." Selik said with warmth shining in his weathered eyes as he gestured for Jim to follow.

" Lead the way." Jim smiled back.

The pair walked away from the table where dinner had been enjoyed towards the other end of the veranda. As he walked beside Spock Prime, Jim glanced to his side at the doorway that led into the house, the one Spock had gone through with his father just moments ago.

As he walked, Jim couldn't help but wonder just what would happen once the conversations he and his Spock were about to enter in separate areas of Sarek's house got underway. Jim had an uncanny feeling that the topics of these conversations would most definitely be about him, and what happened. Sarek would probably be admonishing Spock for the part he play, while Selik would be learning about the horrifying ordeal for the first time.

Jim could only wonder and hope that by the end of the night and both conversation, Spock would come out of it relatively unscathed.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 25**

_._

The New Vulcan night sky was a rich, inky, blackish violet and filled with many twinkling stars. The lantern lights that hung from long and thin metal poles along the railing around Sarek's veranda had been activated, bathing the outdoor area in a rich, soft golden light. Jim and Elder Selik were sitting under one of the lantern lights at the far end of the veranda where a small lounge area had been set up. The pair were each sitting in a very comfortable deck chair, gazing out at the night sky, and the quiet, night darkened desert landscape that encompassed Sarek's house.

Jim let out a small sigh before he finally spoke.

" I don't care if I have to drag him here all the way from Earth itself kicking and screaming, but one of these I'm gonna get Bones to come here." He said with a mischievous smile and a determined glint in his striking eyes as he turned to Elder Selik.

" I trust that you will not have to resort to such extreme measures, but I concur with you that Dr. McCoy should indeed visit Vafer-Tor. Speaking of Dr. McCoy, I trust that he is well?" Selik asked.

" Oh yeah, he's alright. as grumpy and bossy as ever. He's in San Francisco, the Brass asked him to quest lecture at Starfleet Medical." Jim answered.

" That is well, for I do believe that in any universe, Leonard McCoy will always be one of the most gifted physicians of the time." Selik said as warm memories of the Leonard McCoy of his own universe filled his mind. Sadly, that Dr. McCoy had passed away many long years before Spock Prime had been dispatched on his ill-fated attempt to save the Romulan home-world from the supernova. But that Leonard McCoy had lived a long and full live, and had quietly passed away at the golden age of one hundred and thirty-seven. Spock Prime had recently just turned one hundred and ninety-five himself.

" Yeah, I agree with you there, hope he has fun." Jim smiled with a small nod as he thought about his best friend all the way back on Earth.

The pair tapered off into silence after that, until Selik decide to breach the subject he had been wanting to tend to since everything he had noticed during dinner.

" What about you Jim, are you well?" Selik asked as he gazed upon the young man sitting beside him.

The softly asked question made something inside Jim shatter to a thousand pieces because in all honesty, no, he was not well, not fully. Yes, he was in love, and deeply so, but he was terrified still. And now Jim knew that in a few moments he would have to tell another version of the man he loved, the one that was a dear friend, the truly Hellish nightmare that he had barely lived through. He was going to have to relive some of the darkest days of his entire life.

Jim took in a deep breath and spoke.

" I'm okay, more or less." He said quietly.

" That is not a satisfactory answer Jim, I shall take it to mean that you are indeed _not_ 'okay' as you have put it. I may be well on in years, but I am still perceptive enough to know that something is amiss with you. There is something wrong, something that had diminished within you to some capacity. Please Jim, I desire greatly that you tell me what is wrong." Selik said as he leaned closer to Jim and pinned him with a veiled, imploring look in his weathered eyes.

Jim felt the tell-tale burning sensation start up behind his eyeballs as he gazed into those weathered yet soulful eyes that were so different, yet so very much the same as the dark eyes of his Spock. Forcing himself to remain as calm as he could, Jim forced himself to speak with as much steadiness as he could.

" You couldn't be more right about your own perceptiveness Selik and you're right, I'm not okay." Jim said softly before he smiled humorlessly and ducked his head.

" Tell me what is wrong." Selik urged gently. " What has happened?"

Jim forced himself to look back up and meet Selik's concerned dark eyes before he took in a deep, rattling breath and spoke.

" S-Something happened... Something really, really bad happened." He all but whispered before he averted his gaze.

Silently, Selik reached out and gently tucked two fingered under Jim's chin and slowly made the young man tilt his head back up and look him in the eye as he spoke.

" The Jim Kirk I knew in my universe never bowed his head or averted his gaze in my presence, I will not accept you do so to me now. Look at me, and tell me what has happened to you old friend, because there is indeed something." Selik said in a softly commanding tone.

Taking in another deep breath to steady his nerves, and blinking his eyes rapidly to stave off the burn of tears, Jim parted his lips and proceeded to haltingly recount to Selik the Hellish events that had transpired many months ago, nearly a full year, the elder Vulcan was not aware of up until this point.

While Elder Selik was, in the figurative sense, about to have a bomb dropped onto him by Jim, back inside the house, Spock was already experiencing a verbal trouncing of his own, standing in his father's office with said father doing the verbal trouncing.

" I will not mince words my son." Sarek said gravely as he gazed intensely at his son from across his desk. " As your mother would say, what the _Hell_ were you thinking treating James the way you did?"

Spock forced himself to keep his head up and meet his father's severe gaze, while most of him just wanted to sink into the ground and never see the light of day ever again.

" I believe that the correct explanation is that my logic was deeply flawed, and that I allowed my baser emotions to cloud my judgement." Spock said softly.

Sarek let out a sort of huff before he minutely deflated as he spoke.

" I must again reiterate that I am having great amount of difficulty making sense of your actions my son. I would be inclined to believe that your mother and I raised you well enough to be an adequate judge of character for yourself. " Sarek paused a moment before continuing.

"You and James were romantically involved for at least ten months as you have said. In all that time, James clearly grew to trust you enough to come straight to you for assistance after he was assaulted. And yet, judging by your deplorable treatment of him, you did not develop that same level of trust in him."

The Sarek shook his head and pinned Spock with a look as he spoke.

" Why Spock, why did you treat James the way you did my son?" He asked quietly. " And do not say that it was just blatant stupidity that was the cause, for I can already surmise for myself that this is not the case, that there is some other, underlying cause to your actions." Sarek added before he stepped around his desk and came to stand almost toe to toe with his child.

" Speak now my son, for I desire greatly to hear the truth straight from you." Sarek quietly ordered.

Spock barely fought off the intense urge to flinch and basically run out of his father's office/study and held his ground. He took in a deep breath before he began to speak.

" When Jim and I first began our relationship after several months of mutual courtship, I will admit without shame that I was very please, pleased beyond words even. But at some point I started to question everything from my ability to be a satisfying partner to Jim, to whether Jim would want to remain with me after a certain amount of time had passed." He began when Sarek gently interrupted.

" I am grieved that you began to doubt yourself to such an extent. However, I surmise that you did not share your thoughts of your own inadequacy with James." He said quietly.

Spock averting his gaze to the floor was answer enough for Sarek, but the Vulcan was not going to stand for Spock keeping his eyes to the floor.

" Spock, look at me." Sarek ordered sternly.

After a moment of hesitation, Spock forced his eyes to look back up and meet his father's gaze.

" I see now that not sharing you thoughts with James has cost you greatly. If you had done so, perhaps you could have begun to trust him the way he clearly trusted you before the incident occurred." Sarek said, but without any anger or malice, just a neutral observation.

It made Spock want to sink into the floor once again none the less. Steadying himself, Spock spoke.

" Perhaps, but the past cannot be altered, and the damage has been done to James, and to myself." He said quietly.

" Although I already have a good idea as to why you felt this way, I desire to hear it straight from you Spock." Sarek said.

" Why did you feel such personal inadequacy in your relationship with James, when it clearly was not the case?" He further asked.

Memories flooded Spock's mind, all of them universally unpleasant as Spock answered his father.

" I believe that my feelings of personal inadequacy stems from... It stems from my childhood. Throughout all of my adolescent years, until I left Vulcan to attend Starfleet Academy, my peers made it quite clear just how un-accepting of me and my mixed heritage they were. You know full well the number of times their comments emotionally compromised me. I had liked to believe that in adulthood, I had managed to forget all of those cruel and malicious words from my youth." Spock said softly.

" But you did not forget the cruelty and malice you suffered at the hands of your peers, did you my son?" Sarek asked knowingly.

" No father, I did not, and Jim was the one who suffered for it. I allowed the taunting and cruelty I suffered at the hands of my peers affect my judgement. It caused me to always think myself inadequate, unworthy of the affections of someone such as Jim. I doubted myself, and in the process I doubted Jim, who was nothing but faithful to me throughout our earlier relationship. " Spock answered with self-loathing tinging his voice.

Then with a small shake of his head, Spock turned away from his father and made his way over to the sofa that stood against one of the walls of Sarek's office. Spock lowered himself down onto the sofa. He sat with a visible slump over his entire form. Sarek gazed at his son, feeling a small twinge at seeing his child in such a state, and also once again wishing that his Amanda was there with him, she would have known how to handle this situation far better than he could. But she wasn't here, and Spock needed guidance now more than ever. Sarek suddenly felt determination rise up inside him, chasing away his own feelings of self-doubt. Sarek made his way over to the sofa and silently took his seat next to his son.

He may not have had the experience or prowess of his late wife, but Sarek was Spock's remaining parent, and he would do all that he could to help his son through this difficult time.

The pair sat in silence for the longest time before Sarek spoke.

" Forgive me my son." He said quietly.

Spock instantly gave a small jolt at his father's words and turned in his seat to eye his father with veiled confusion.

" Why do you ask for my forgiveness father?" Spock asked.

" Because I failed you Spock, I did not adequately protect you from the malice of your peers. I should have known that the taunting and the bullying you suffered through would undoubtedly have long-lasting affects on you, mainly causing an inferiority complex to develop within your psyche." Sarek explained.

Spock was about to speak when Sarek held up his hand and silenced him.

" Spock, I say this to you know as your father, there is absolutely nothing inadequate about you. You are and always will be a child of two worlds, and no matter what others would have you believe, to your mother and myself, you are the best of those two worlds. I deeply regret that I never told you this when you were a child, that I simply told you to do what was logical, what was of the Vulcan way. Telling you to simply be a Vulcan was not at all what you needed. Because I did not adequately tend to the emotional wounds you suffered at the hands of your peers, you and James, a completely innocent person, are now having to suffer the consequences." Sarek said with as much neutrality as he could, all the while silently feeling ever single emotion that rose up inside him with brutal starkness.

Spock sat beside his father, silently stunned, but also feeling ten times worse than when this conversation with his father had first started. The pair sat in silence for several long moments before Sarek spoke.

" Spock, I believe that in this instance, your mother would tell you that the past is the past, you cannot go back and change it, but you can change what happens after, in the present and with it the future." He said as he turned his sage eyes onto his son and continued.

" Spock, the emotional wounds you suffered at the hands of your peers has festered and infected your mind and your judgement."

" That is... a very accurate assessment of the situation." Spock said quietly.

Sarek's eyes softened as he continued to gaze at his son and spoke.

" My son, do you not think that the malice and cruelty you suffered at the hands of your ignorant peers, has ruled over you for long enough?" He asked.

Spock leaned back a little as his father's words reverberated through him. Spock knew full well that his father was right, absolutely right. Enough was enough. Yes he had suffered at the hands and words of people like Stonn and Solvek in his youth, but he was an adult now, he was above them and their cruelty. Spock had thought that he was over what had happened to him as a child, but after everything that had happened with Jim, and all those months apart in which he had been able to do some introspection, Spock realized that the bullies who had tormented him still had power over him.

It was like a spark went off and everything inside Spock was ignited with determination.

" Yes father, I believe you are indeed correct, they have ruled over me for long enough, but not anymore. Not even for another second longer." Spock said, his voice hard with steely resolve as he finally met his father's gaze unflinchingly.

" It is very gratifying to hear those words finally come forth past your lips my son." Sarek said with the barest curve gracing the corners of his lips as he nodded his head in approval.

" It is equally gratifying to be the one to say them, and mean them whole-heartedly." Spock replied.

_Meanwhile, back outside on the veranda..._

Two men sat facing each other in the small lounge area, completely silent as they stared at one another. The silence was deafening as Spock Prime stared at Jim with his weathered eyes wide with barely veiled shock. Jim stared back at Prime with his own pale blue eyes blurred with tears, the bitter salt flowing free and carving wet trails down his colorless cheeks.

The charged silence between them lasted for several more eternally long moments until Selik blink and then rose to his feet faster than Jim thought the elder Vulcan could and began all but running towards the door that led back into the house. Jim scrambled to his feet and hurriedly caught up to the elder Vulcan, hastily grabbing Selik by the arm to stop him, knowing full well that the elder Vulcan wanted to head inside and get to his younger self.

" Selik please don't, it's not worth it." Jim said shakily as he was almost being dragged along because Selik was still moving forward.

" I do not care in the least that he his an alternate version of myself, after what you have just revealed to me, at the very least I shall have words with the idiot." Selik as he continued walking towards the door that led back into Sarek's house, only slightly hindered by the young man who was hanging onto his right arm in an effort to halt his steps.

" Then have words with his later, when you've calmed down. The last thing I want is the person I love having an all out brawl with the older version of himself. Please Selik, just stop, for me." Jim urged.

That instantly halted Selik's determined stride. Letting out a small breath, Selik turned to Jim and spoke.

" Only for you do I stop Jim." Selik said before he fully turned to face Jim and reached out towards him, his hands coming to gently cup Jim's tear-stained cheeks.

Jim barely stopped himself from dissolving into sobs right then and there, but he kept it together as he spoke.

" Please Selik, Spock made a mistake, a giant one, no body knows that more than he does. He's done a lot to get back what we lost, and right now we're at a place where things are good, really good between us." Jim said, his voice trembling somewhat.

" Describing what my younger self has done to you as a giant mistake, is probably the largest understatement I have heard in all my life. While the violation you suffered at the hands of that Antarian delegate is too vile and disgusting for words, the way my younger self treated you, his abandonment of you without so much as a backward glance is absolutely deplorable. And the rest of the crew, how could all of them be just as foolish, just as idiotic?" Selik asked.

At this, Jim averted his gaze a shrugged before he looked back up at Selik.

" I guess with the whole persona of being a 'playboy' and Spock being a Vulcan, I guess it was easier to think that I'd be the one to go behind Spock's back." Jim said with a humorless snort.

" Jim, the 'playboy' persona is just the opinions of those on the outside looking in, Spock and the rest of the crew are on the inside, you are their captain, you are Spock's romantic partner, they should not have thought so little of you, they should have been by your side Jim." Selik said as he wiped away the tear tracks that marred Jim's pale cheek before lowering his hands from the young man's face and settling them over Jim's shoulders.

" Again I reiterate, they all made some colossal mistakes, nobody in the galaxy is more aware of that than they are. It was touch and go for a while but they all pulled through, they all earned back my trust, especially Spock." Jim said with a small sniffle as he began to regain his composure.

Elder Selik looked like he had more to say, but instead he looked more closely at Jim and then a good deal of his outrage seemed to seep out of him as the elder Vulcan deflated a little.

" Please excuse my outburst, what your just revealed to me was quite... upsetting." Selik said, looking almost sheepish as the tips of his ears turned the barest shade of emerald.

Despite himself, Jim let out a watering chuckle at seeing someone who had lived so many more years than him blush with embarrassment.

" It's totally understandable." Jim said with a warm smile.

The next thing he knew, Jim was being pulled into a tight, yet surprisingly gentle embrace. Without hesitation, Jim raised his own arms and wrapped them around Spock Prime, returning the hug.

" I am so sorry this happened to you Jim." Spock Prime whispered against Jim's ear.

Jim needed a moment to battle back the sudden constriction of his throat but once the painful sensation passed somewhat, he spoke.

" Yeah, it really sucked." Jim said softly with a watery smile against Prime's shoulder.

" In-Indeed." Was all Spock Prime said before tightening his already snug hold around Jim.

" I'm alright for the most part. There's still a few things I have to work through, but I'm gonna be okay." Jim said, reassuring both himself and Selik.

" It gratifies me to no end to hear you say that, to know that the horrifying events that transpired could not destroy you like it could have other, lesser men. But then again, it is my belief that in any universe, James Tiberius Kirk will never be one to be easily destroyed by anything." Selik said softly into Jim's ear.

Well, these loving words served to effectively shatter Jim already threadbare composure. Let out a small gasp, Jim's face crumbled as he buried it into Selik's shoulder and allowed a few tears to fall. For his part, Selik simply held onto Jim, a silent but warm guardian around the young man who was in that instant, allowing himself to be fragile for a few fleeting moments.

A few minutes passed by before Jim let out a profound, cleansing breath and drew back a little so he could scrub away the new tear tracks that adorned his face.

" Thank you, I'm really glad you're here." Jim said quietly, for once not feeling self-conscious about showing this side of himself, the quiet man behind the golden Starfleet Captain persona as he drew his arms from around Selik.

The young man and the Vulcan elder stood less than arm's length as the Vulcan spoke.

" Thanks are not necessary Jim, and as for being here, well I do happen to live on this planet after all." Selik said with a mischievous glint in his sage eyes.

Jim let out a true laugh at the elder Vulcan's subtle, straight-faced humor, and it felt absolutely heavenly. When he sobered somewhat, Jim eyes Selik seriously and spoke.

" I take it that by no means does this mean that my Spock is off the hook?" He asked knowingly.

" You are correct in that regard Jim, but rest assured, I will not harm him, I will merely have some choice words with my younger counterpart, and perhaps impart some wisdom upon him." Selik replied.

" You gonna knock him upside his head?" Jim asked deadpanned.

" Perhaps that too." Selik replied in all seriousness.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 26**

_._

A soft sigh escaped past Jim's lips as he wiped at his eyes that had long-since dried of tears. Now they were itchy and slightly puffy from the saline that had understandably been spent.

" I trust that you have, for the most part, regained your composure Jim?"

Jim turned his slightly exhausted gaze over to Elder Selik, who was dutifully sitting beside him in one of Sarek's lounge chairs. They had both retaken their seats some time ago, and Jim had continued with his recounting of the harrowing ordeal he had lived thorugh. Once he had gotten through telling Selik everything that happened, he had shed more bitter tears, and Selik had freely given him more warmth and comfort. Now Jim and Spock Prime found themselves sitting in a more or less tranquil, but slightly exhausted state.

" Yeah, yeah I'm good Selik, thank you."

Jim sent the elder Vulcan a warm smile for further reassurance. Spock nodded in acceptance before he spoke with the ghost of an admiring smile playing across his sage countenance.

" Jim, I beg your pardon if my next words cause you any kind of embarrassment, but I must say that while I am deeply appalled by the injustices you were forced to suffer, I am also very much in awe of your strength. Had the Hellish events that you have recounted to me happened to anyone other than you, James T. Kirk, I do not believe they would have survived at all, much less regained themselves as you have."

Jim ducked his head and clenched his jaw tight to keep it from trembling, Selik's gentle, admiring words touching him deeply, to his very soul. Taking in a deep breath, Jim softly replied to Selik.

" I'm... I don't know if I've regained myself fully, but thank you. Thank you for saying that, it means a lot."

" I shall say it a thousand times over if necessary."

Jim sent Spock Prime a watery smile, one that Prime returned a Vulcan smile with his eyes. The pair drifted off into a comfortable silence after that.

_Twenty minutes later..._

An almost visibly exhausted looking Spock walked out of his father's study with Sarek following wordlessly in his wake. The father-son pair walked down the hallway towards the center of the house in a comfortable silence, each feeling a great deal lighter after having had a very in-depth conversation about certain issue that had really needed to be discussed.

Just as Spock and Sarek reached the end of the hallway that led into the living room area, they both turned in time to see a smiling Jim lead Elder Selik into the house via the veranda door.

Both parties immediately came to a halt when they caught sight of each other, but the impasse that followed lasted only a few seconds before both parties were moving towards each other, meeting halfway in Sarek's living room area. It was Spock who spoke first, and naturally his attention was focused first and foremost on Jim.

" Are you well Jim?"

Jim smiled warmly at his love as he spoke.

" I'm fine Spock, but you're looking kind of wrecked. Is everything alright with you?"

Jim looked between Spock and Sarek who was standing a couple of feet behind his son, wondering just what happened between them while he and Selik had been conversing outside on the veranda. It was Sarek who stepped forward and spoke.

" I assure you James, that all is well. My son and I partook in a very deep conversation, the issues we discussed were... understandably somewhat difficult."

Jim nodded to Sarek before he turned concerned eyes on Spock.

" Are you okay Spock?"

" I am alright, for the most part."

Spock was silently touched by Jim's concern, but when he happened to glance at the older version of himself, Spock felt his Vulcan heart stammer for a moment when he say the cold way Selik was gazing at him. It didn't take Spock very long to realize that his older self had come to learn about Jim's rape, and the part he himself had played in adding to the misery of that entire situation. Spock immediately averted his gaze from the weathered eyes of elder Selik as Sarek spoke.

" Elder Selik, I trust that the evening repast was adequate."

" Indeed, I must say that it was more than adequate. I wish to convey my gratitude for your hospitality in inviting me on this evening."

Selik gave a small bow of his head, one which Sarek immediately returned before he turned to Spock.

" My son, would you please repeat your earlier duty and transport Elder Selik back to his residence?"

Spock hesitated for the barest of seconds before he glanced at Elder Selik and turned to his father as he spoke.

" Of course father, I am more than willing to take the elder back to his home."

Sarek looked between his son, and the elder Vulcan before he gave a curt nod.

" Very well then."

Spock then turned to face his older self and spoke as he, Jim, Sarek, and Elder Selik all started walking towards the front door of Sarek's house.

" Come Elder Selik, I shall drive you."

" Indeed."

If Selik's reply was somewhat curt, no body else commented on it as the group made their way to the front of Sarek's house. When they had just about reached the door, Selik turned to Jim and spoke.

" It has been a most pleasing, and revealing evening. I very much desire that both you and Spock come and visit me at my residence during your stay here on Vafer-Tor."

Jim glanced over at Spock and caught sight of the barely-there expression of surprise that tinted his lover's face before he focused back on Selik.

" That would be awesome. What do you think Spock?"

Jim and Selik turned in time to see an unreadable look pass across Spock's face before his schooled his features and spoke.

" I am very amenable to your request Elder Selik. Perhaps we could discuss the finer details on the drive back to your residence?"

_" There are a few other things I wish to discuss with you Little One." _Thought Spock Prime as he nodded in agreement before turning to Jim.

" With reluctance, I must take my leave of you Jim."

Jim smiled and nodded before he spoke.

" I'll see you later then, once you get the date and time fixed, or maybe me and Spock'll just drop by and surprise you."

The corner of Spock Prime's mouth twitched minutely at Jim's words as he spoke.

" Indeed, I would not put it past the both of you to simply, pop up at my residence at some random point in the day during your stay here on New Vulcan. Although I find that perfectly acceptable, I would much prefer that a proper date and time be fixed so that I may make adequate preparations for my guests."

Jim shook his head and let out a small huff of laughter at the elder Vulcan's words.

" You don't have to go out of your way or anything, it's not like me and Spock here on some diplomatic assignment. We're on vacation, so so you don't have to go and break out the special silverware or anything like that."

Jim barely kept himself from dissolving into laughter as he watched Selik, Spock, and Sarek all tilt their heads slightly to the side and quirk one of their eyebrows at him.

It was Selik who spoke.

" Jim, I do not own silverware, all of my dinnerware is made from materials found on this planet, and unfortunately, silver is not among them."

Before he could stop himself, Jim's face broke out into a grin that lit up his entire face as chuckled heartily.

From where he stood closest to the door, Spock felt a strange sensation in his side where his heart resided, a strange sort of fluttering that was completely illogical for a Vulcan to feel. But Spock couldn't really help it, Jim just looked absolutely breath-taking whenever he smiled like that, and his laughter was strangely melodious to Spock's ear.

While Sarek watched on with his face as blank as ever, but with a minute softness to his usually sever eyes, Elder Selik's eyes shone with warmth and amusement as they all waited for Jim to sober. After a few moments Jim finally ceased in his chuckling.

" I'm... I'm sorry, but there you go taking the things I say literally."

At this, Sarek piped up.

" Indeed, Vulcans are known for being literal beings after all."

Jim continued to grin as he turned to Spock.

" Well if that's the case, then there's a very literal Vulcan who still needs to get home, so get to it Spock."

" Indeed Jim."

Spock nodded before turning to Elder Selik and gesturing.

" Come Elder, we best be on our way."

Selik nodded and spoke as he stepped forward.

" Very well, again I take my leave of you Jim, and of you as well Ambassador Sarek."

Jim and Sarek both nodded respectfully to the elder Vulcan. With that Elder Selik walked over the threshold of Sarek's home and out into the New Vulcan night air with Spock following in his wake. Jim stepped forward to watch the person he loved and the older version of said person both walked down the small, paved path that led to the area where Sarek's personal hover-craft vehicle was dormant and neatly parked. Selik came to stand beside the front passenger door, while Spock walked around to the drivers side door of the hover-craft. Before they climbed into the vehicle, Spock and Selik both turned to look back up at the house to see Jim standing out in front of the door with Sarek beside him.

Selik raised his hand in the Vulcan salute, his eyes warm as he watched as both Jim and Sarek raised their hands in the same salute. Spock stood by the driver's side door and watched on in silence, all the while gazing solely on Jim, and the while feeling a myriad of emotions rise up inside him, the chief of which was a deep yearning. There was still a great deal left between them that needed to be addressed before they could move forward, but it would have to wait because Spock was currently entrusted with the task of getting the older version of himself back to his home safely.

With that in mind, Spock spoke quietly.

" Come Elder Selik, let us proceed."

Selik turned away from the house to eye his younger self before he gave a wordless nod of agreement. With that, Spock and Elder Selik both smoothly opened their respective doors to the hover-craft and climbed into the vehicle.

From where he stood beside Sarek back up at the house, Jim watched on as the hover-craft carrying Spock and Elder Sarek came to life with a low hum and its head lights igniting. The young man watched as the hover-craft was carefully backed out of the place where it had been parked earlier and then it was hovering away from Sarek's house with stream-line grace, heading back towards the main colonial city.

" I hope things will be alright with those two." Jim said quietly as he watched the hover-craft until it was nothing more than a small speck of light in the distance.

Sarek turned to his human quest and spoke.

" I have every confidence that Spock and Selik shall settle things between themselves, therefore there is no need to worry James."

Then Sarek turned and started going back inside.

" Come, I believe that a cup of authentic Vulcan tea is in order."

Jim turned and began following after Sarek's wake with a smile.

" A cup of tea sounds pretty good sir."

With that, Sarek and Jim disappeared back inside the former's residence.

_Meanwhile, on the road back towards the Vulcan's main city-state... _

The interior of Sarek's hover-car was more silent then a grave. Both occupants, so much the same, yet so very different, were both equally unhappy. The conversation he had partaken in with his father had left Spock deeply drained, and the knowledge that he still had to face his older self just made him feel worse. But Spock would not voice any protest, this was all because of his own actions, and now he had to reap what he sowed. From where he sat, Elder Selik was silently seething, and the cause of his anger was sitting a mere arm's length away from him driving the hover-car. Though he had expressly promised Jim that he would not cause any bodily harm to his younger self, Spock Prime was still sorely tempted to do something contrary to his promise.

It was only after several long minutes, and after the hover-car had seamlessly entered the main Vulcan city state that Elder Selik finally broke the silence.

" When we reach my residence, do not speed away the moment I exit this vehicle."

Spock turned his head to eye his older self, seeing the hardness in the older Vulcan's usually warm dark eyes, and the cold expression on his weathered countenance. This was more that enough to let Spock know that his older self was in no mood for games. With this in mind, Spock spoke quietly as he turned his gaze forward and focused back on driving.

" As you wish."

The pair tapered off into silence once more after that, and they remained silent as Spock navigated the hover-car through the main colony streets. After about ten minutes, the still busy city area gave way to small, suburban neighborhoods. Spock expertly navigated the quite streets until he finally turned onto the street where Elder selik's house was located. When they reached the Elder Vulcan's dwelling, Spock smoothly turned the hover-car away from the street and into the small drive-way. Once the hover-car was in the drive-way, Spock set the parking mechanisms on the vehicle and pressed the button to kill the engine. When the hover-car smoothly lowered itself to the ground, Selik wordlessly opened his side door and fluidly climbed out of the vehicle.

From where he sat, Spock took a moment to steady himself before he too climbed out of the hover-vehicle. No sooner had Spock climbed out of the vehicle and closed the hover-car door, the back of his head was exploding in dull pain. Spock was dimly aware that he had just been smacked, rather forcefully, upside his head. But before he could fully recover, Spock was letting out a small, stunned and pained cry as one of his pointed ears was seized by unforgiving fingers and pulled sideways. It was well-known just how sensitive Vulcan ears were, therefore Spock had no choice but to go in the direction he was so painfully being pulled.

Spock Prime's face was the picture of barely veiled fury as he pulled his younger self behind him none-too-gently by the ear as if he were a naughty Terran child. Despite the fair amount of pain he was in as he hurriedly walked behind the older version of himself, Spock couldn't help but silently marvel at the good amount of strength Elder Selik, a Vulcan well on in years, still possessed.

Spock Prime strode with determination in his steps as he walked up the path that led to his residence, dragging his younger self behind him without and thought or care as to any of his neighbors seeing him do so. Once he reached the door, Prime quickly punched in the security code in the panel the reside beside the door, and once said door slid open he unceremoniously forced the younger Spock in first by pulling on his ear until the younger Vulcan had stumbled over the threshold. Then, without releasing his pinch-hold on his younger self's ear, Elder Selik stepped over the threshold himself and the door sliding shut in his wake.

Before Spock could rightly compose himself, Elder Selik got right up into his face, pinning him where he stood with just a searing look as he spoke.

" We are not normally a race that gives in to violence, but I believe that you and I are both in agreement that the circumstances we currently find ourselves in are an exception to all that."

Spock averted his gaze to the floor, feeling all of about three inches tall as he gave Elder Selik a mute nod of agreement. Spock Prime would have none of it.

" Look me in the eye you foolish child."

Clenching his fists at his sides, Spock forced himself to look up and meet the elder Vulcans weathered eyes. In these eyes so very much like his own, yet so vastly different, Spock could see a myriad of emotions swirling within their depths, the most prominent being outrage, and disappointment. It took all Spock had not to avert his gaze to the ground again. The two versions of Spock stood and stared at each other for what seemed like a life-age before Spock Prime finally spoke.

" You are fortunate that Jim loves you enough to forgive you for what you did to him, had I been in his place, I would not have been willing in the least to give you even the slightest chance."

Spock minutely clenched his jaw for a moment before he replied.

" That is where Jim has been, most extraordinary. He found it within himself to give me a chance to redeem myself from that which seemed unredeemable. He forgave me for my many grievances against him, and he allowed me to slowly win back his trust, and his love"

" Jim may have forgiven you, but it will be a long time before I do. The way you treated Jim, the way you abandoned him when he had most need of you, is absolutely despicable."

Spock looked away for a moment, feeling a dull twinge in his heart at these words.

" That is well within your rights Elder, you may be able to forgive me in time, but I shall never forgive myself. And as for my actions, your description is accurate, they were most despicable, and I shall have to live with the knowledge that I committed them for as long as I live."

The hard edge did not leave Spock Prime's eyes as he spoke.

" Well good for you then, but do not expect a great deal of sympathy from me Young One. As the human saying goes, you have made your bed, now you must lay in it."

" In-Indeed I must and I shall."

With that Spock turned to take his leave of his older self, but before he even got one full step away, a weathered but strong hand was wrapping around one of his wrists an yanking him forward with a good amount of force. The next thing Spock knew, a pair of arms were wrapping around him in an almost vice-like embrace. Stunned, Spock stood rigid as he spoke.

" Elder?"

Spock Prime tightened his hold around his younger self and spoke.

" He was innocent, he needed you, and you broke his heart, and in the process you broke your own. I am...deeply grieved, for both Jim, and for you."

Hearing these words, so softly spoken from one such as Spock Prime, made something inside Spock shatter. All at once, Spock's body lost its rigid stance, and he was melting into Prime's embrace, returning it whole-heartedly.

" I am sorry."

The words, so softly spoken against his shoulder, made Spock Prime tighten his hold around his younger self even further as the two stood in the elder's house. And if a few moments later, Spock Prime felt his shoulder suddenly become slightly wet, he said not a word.

There was a great deal more that Spock Prime desired to say, but words could come later, when raging emotions ran their course.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 27**

_._

" Have you regained your composure Young One?" Spock Prime asked quietly as he sat across from his younger self on one of the plush sofas in his living room.

" Y-Yes Elder, I am adequately composed." Spock replied, his eyes now only slightly irritated from the tears that he had shed earlier. Now though, the younger Vulcan male's usually pale face had a pronounced emerald flush to it. The sign of just how utterly embarrassed he was at his uncharacteristic loss of Vulcan decorum.

" Please excuse me for my emotional outburst, it was most unbecoming of me." Spock said, not meeting Prime's weathered gaze.

" There is no need for you to make such apologies Young One." Prime said before he allowed the barest hint of a smile to curve the corner of his lips while his eyes exuded silent warmth as he continued. " We are within the walls of my private residence, and _I_ most certainly am not going to pass judgement on you for not keeping proper stoicism. That in and of itself would be, _highly_ _illogical_, if I were even to attempt to do such a thing."

Spock felt some of the mortification he was feeling ebb away at the elder's words of reassurance. With a small sigh, Spock finally looked up to meet the weathered gaze of his older self and spoke.

" I may have earned Jim's forgiveness, but there is still much forgiveness I must earn, both from my father, and from you." He said softly.

" Indeed, it does seem like a tall order." Prime said with a nod before continuing. " But if you could earn the forgiveness of Jim, the one who you so grievously wronged, then there truly is nothing barring you from redeeming yourself in both my eyes, and those of our father Spock."

Spock contemplated the elder's words before he nodded in acceptance. It was then that Spock Prime slowly reached out and gently gripped his younger self's shoulder as he spoke.

" In regards to matters of forgiveness, it is one thing for you to earn the forgiveness of the one you wronged, but it is an entirely different matter when it comes to forgiving yourself. It is quite clear to me that you have not yet done this Young One."

Prime felt Spock stiffen under his hand, his dark eyes slightly wide with veiled anguish as the color completely drained out of his face. Then in one fluid motion, Spock was on his feet with his back to the elder Vulcan as he spoke.

" I have not done this." He said lowly before he turned to face his older self with a tortured gleam in his dark eyes. " I will never be able to do this."

" I do not believe this to be so Young One." Elder Selik said sagely as he rose to his feet and took a step towards his younger self.

" Then respectfully I must say that your belief is misguided Elder." Spock countered with soft vehemence.

Spock nodded, holding back a sad smile at his younger self's stubbornness as he spoke.

" I can see that you wish to hold on to your guilt and your shame, but I do not believe this to be a wise decision on your part." He said.

" So am I suppose to simple sweep my guilt and my shame aside and put up the facade on being completely fine, is that what you are suggesting?" Spock challenged with a slight raise of one elegant eye brow.

" Not by any means am I suggesting this Young One." Selik replied as he sent Spock an intense look that had the younger Vulcan almost visibly squirming where he stood. Then with a small breath, Selik continued.

" What I am attempting to make you understand Spock, is that while it is clear to me that Jim is well on his way to healing from everything that he has lived through, you have yet to fully reconcile yourself with what happened."

To these, Spock looked away as he spoke.

" To reconcile with what I did to Jim is impossible elder." He said flatly.

" It is my opinion that reconciling yourself is feasible with a great amount of difficultly, not impossible." Selik countered as he reached out and gently tapped Spock under his chin to get the younger Vulcan to look back up at him.

The sadness that radiated openly in the dark eyes that were so very much like his own when they met his weathers gaze had Elder Selik's heart clenching despite himself. For a long moment the two Spock's simply gazed at one another before the younger Spock finally broke the silence.

" How do I even begin to do as you have advised elder?" He said softly.

" Forgive yourself Young One, you know that you made a grievous error in judgement and harmed the one you love, but you must move past that. Never forget the part you played in Jim's misery, but do not allow it to own your life, and Jim's for even a moment longer. For the most part, you have been doing quite adequately in rebuilding your relationship with Jim, but you cannot get any further in mending things with him until you have mended that which you broke within yourself." Selik answered with warmth in his weathered eyes and conviction behind his words.

Spock let out a shaky breath, but managed to keep his composure otherwise as he slowly nodded his head in acceptance of the Elder's words. Selik allowed himself a small, sad smile before he nodded as well and spoke.

" Forgive thyself, and keep loving Jim with the same kind of purity that he loves thee with Spock. The rest, I am sure, will work itself out." He said sagely as he reached out and firmly grasped Spock's shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze before he let go.

After a long pause, Spock spoke.

" I shall endeavor to do as you have advised Elder, and I am most grateful to have received your wisdom." He said quietly, and if his voice was just a little raspy, Elder Selik made no comment on the matter.

" Thanks are not necessary Young One, for despite how angry I still am at you for your foolishness, I still desire only the best for you, and for Jim." Elder Selik said, clearly meaning every word.

" I-I thank thee." Spock whispered, his throat having constricted painfully upon hearing the elder's words.

" You are welcome Young One, and know that just as you are able to go to our father for his council, you may always come to me for mine if you feel that you require it." Elder Selik said quietly, with warmth, and a hint of sadness swirling within the dark coffee colored depths of his weathered eyes.

" I am truly grateful Elder." Spock whispered.

Selik nodded before he spoke.

" The hour is fast becoming late Young One, you should go now back to our father's house, I am sure that both he and Jim are wondering why you have not yet returned to them." He said.

" Yes, I should head back." Spock agreed and turned to leave, but paused and looked over his shoulder back at Prime as he spoke.

" I shall endeavor to do as you have advised me elder, and I shall be sure to bring Jim here to your residence for that evening meal you proposed earlier this evening."

" I shall look forward to that evening." Selik said with a barely there smile before he continued. " Now I have held you here for long enough, I wish you a safe journey back to Sarek's residence."

The pair walked together to the front door of Selik's house and paused in the doorway as Spock spoke.

" Peace and long life Elder." Spock said as he held up his hand in the Vulcan salute.

" Live long and prosper Young One." Selik replied, raising his own hand.

Then with a final nod, Spock walked out the door of Selik's house into the New Vulcan air and proceed to where his father's hover-car was parked and waiting.

Selik watched on from where he stood as his younger self activated the hover-car and climbed in. The elder watched until Spock had backed the car out of the drive-way area and cruised away down the street back towards home. Selik watched until the hover-car had completely passed from his line of sight.

Though his heart still ached for both Jim and his younger self, Spock Prime also felt the warmth of hope slowly rising up with each beat. However illogical his fellow Vulcans would have found this, Spock Prime cared not at all, for it was his feeling that despite everything that had been revealed to him regarding Jim and the younger Spock, the elder was truly confident that at the end of it all, Jim and Spock were going to be alright, perhaps even better than how they were before everything that happened.

With this in mind, Spock Prime headed back inside his house. It had been quite an eventful night, which naturally meant that there was a great deal for the Elder to meditate on before he turned in for some much needed rest.

_Meanwhile, back at Sarek's house..._

Sarek paused in setting his now empty cup of Vulcan tea down on the coffee table when his eyes caught sight of Jim. The two of them were currently sitting inside the living room area of Sarek's house, each having been serve a cup of freshly brewed Vulcan tea several minutes earlier. However, Sarek seemed to be the only one to have partaken in actually drinking his tea. From where he sat in a plush chair, Sarek silently eyed his young human guest who was currently seated on the sofa that was directly adjacent to Sarek's chair. Jim sat with the tea cup in one hand and the saucer in the other, but his gaze was focused solely on the front door that stood just a few feet away.

Instantly putting two and two together, Sarek leaned back a little in his chair and spoke.

" I believe your tea has grown cold James." Sarek said quietly, watching as Jim gave a small start and quickly turned his attention to Spock's father.

It took Jim a second to grasp what Sarek was talking about, but in an instant the young man was looking down at the cup of now luke warm tea he was holding.

" Oh crap, sorry." Jim said quickly as he set the saucer down on the table and then placed the cup of untouched tea down on it. He looked back up to give Sarek an sheepish and apologetic look as he spoke.

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean any disrespect by wasting a perfectly good cup of tea, I just..." Jim trailed off from his rambling as he felt his face heat up in embarrassment.

From where he sat, Sarek was silently amused by what had been unfolding before him, for he had never thought the famed Captain of the _Enterprise_ could become so flustered. In all honesty, Sarek could not help but find this new found facet of Jim to be quite endearing, though, he would be caught dead before he would ever say it out loud.

" Be at ease James, it is illogical to apologize for something a trivial as not drinking a cup of tea before it becomes cold." Sarek said with as much assurance as he could give, what with his Vulcan neutrality and all.

Sarek watched with mild curiosity as his words seemed only to embarrass Jim further as the color rose in his already tinted cheeks and he ducked his head, a small, sheepish smile across his lips. After a moment Jim composed himself and looked back up to meet Sarek's gaze as he spoke.

" I am human, therefore I will undoubtedly do illogical things sir." He said with a hint of the famous Kirk brashness.

" Indeed that is true, I merely meant that you needn't apologize for it." Sarek replied.

" Thank you for that, and for the cup of tea." Jim said with a warm smile before he eyes glanced yet again at the door.

This subtle act did not go unnoticed by Sarek.

" You need not worry James, my son should arrive at any moment." Sarek assured.

Jim nodded and leaned back in his seat before he gave a light shake of his head as he spoke.

" I just hope Elder Selik has left him in one piece."He sighed.

" Why do you say this James?"Sarek asked with a small quirk of his brow.

" Well." Jim began, pausing for a moment as a shadow cross his face before he steadied himself and continued. " I told Selik about everything that happened to me, and naturally he wasn't exactly thrilled about finding out about the part Spock played in that whole nightmare."

" He was displeased?" Sarek asked.

" He was pissed as Hell." Jim replied softly.

Sarek took a moment to digest Jim's words before he nodded and spoke.

" Be that as it may, it is my belief that regardless of how 'pissed' as you have put it, that Elder Selik is at my son, I doubt the elder will resort to any kind of physical dismemberment as a means of seeking retribution on your behave James. Elder Selik is a Vulcan after all, and if there is one thing a Vulcan is good at besides having superior discipline in logic, it is the use of words to cut any opponent down. I am quite sure that Elder Selik will have employed this skill on Spock once they reached the elder's residence, and this is why it is taking so long for Spock to return." He said with a knowing tone.

" But I have no doubt that Spock shall return here fully intact, or in one piece as you put it." Sarek added deadpanned.

Jim blinked owlishly for a moment, there was complete silence and then before he could stop himself, Jim was dissolving into hearty laughter. Sarek watched on, utterly perplexed, but definitely not displeased that he had caused his young guest to forget his earlier anxiety and so openly display his mirth. Sarek could not help but finding it oddly refreshing. Sarek could also not help but notice that he preferred Jim this way, with a smile on his face rather than a worried frown.

_"Who said Vulcans totally lack the ability to be humorous?"_Sarek thought to himself as he waited for Jim to sober.

It was a good few minutes before Jim finally regained his composure, and after explaining why he had laughed so hard in the first place to Sarek, the pair entered a quiet conversation, in which Jim regaled Sarek with a few stories about some away missions in space that didn't go quite according to plan. He also recounted to Sarek of the two warring clans and the unusual but highly effective solution he had come up with to finally bring them to lasting peace. Although he was sure that there would most likely be a few harmless spats between the now in-laws. Jim and Sarek were carrying on in there conversation when the front door to Sarek's residence slid open with a soft hiss, the pointy-eared individual they had both been waiting for up until that point finally making his appearance across the threshold.

" Spock." Jim said as he swiftly rose from his seat and eagerly made his way across to where Spock was standing in the foyer, Sarek following in his wake.

Jim stopped himself just short of pouncing on Spock, keeping in mind that it probably wasn't a good idea what with Sarek being present and all. Perhaps when they were in the privacy of their quarters, and if Spock would allowed it, Jim could shower Spock with open affection to his heart's content.

Instead, Jim spoke.

" Did everything go alright Spock?" Jim asked, eager for some details. " You were gone for a while."

" Forgive me for my delay Jim, Father." Spock said as he looked from Jim to Sarek before he proceed to explain.

" When Elder Selik and I reached his residence, he... asked me inside because he wished to speak to me about certain matters. We partook in a very in-depth discussion, which was the cause for my delay in returning."

" I trust that this discussion was enlightening for you, my son?" Sarek asked with a veiled look of knowing.

" Indeed, it was very enlightening, such in the wisdom and skill of the elder." Spock replied with a small nod as he met his father's gaze unflinchingly.

Father and son stared at each other for a beat before Sarek blinked and nodded in what seemed like acceptance before he spoke.

" Very well my son." He said before his eyes when to the chronometer that was situated on a far wall and continued.

" Though I am curious about your conversation with Elder Selik, it can wait until morning. As of now the hour is growing late, and I am sure that this particular even, though pleasant, was also somewhat difficult." Sarek said while his eyes fell of Jim, who sent him a wan smile, before he looked back to Spock and continued.

" I shall therefore leave you both and retire for the evening." He said before he pinned Spock with a look. " There is a great deal I wish to meditate over."

" I bid you farewell for this evening James." Sarek said to Jim.

" Thank you Sir, and good night." Jim replied with a smile.

Sarek then turned to his son.

" Farewell for this evening my son." He said. " I shall speak with you come morning."

" Farewell to you as well father, I shall greet you in the morning as you desire." Spock said neutrally.

Sarek gave a final nod before he gracefully turned and walked away down the hallway towards his quarters, leaving Jim and Spock in his wake.

Spock quickly turned his attention to Jim.

" Shall we retire to our quarters Jim?" He asked.

" Yeah, it is getting late." Jim replied with a nod as he and Spock began walking down the opposite hallway from the one Sarek had taken.

The pair walked in relative silence, but there was a definite charge in the air between them. It left Jim wondering what would happen once they would reach there quarter within Sarek's house, and the privacy it would afford them. As they walked, Jim and Spock kept subtly stealing glances at each other. Jim's curiosity was definitely peaked because Spock and Elder Selik had had a long talk, and Jim was more than certain that the topic of their conversation had been about what had happened with It'Vek and the part Spock had played in that giant mess.

But as he and Spock neared the arched door to their lodgings, Jim promised himself that, even though he wanted to know details, he was not going to try and pry it out of Spock. Jim was willing to take anything Spock was willing to share.

" After you." Spock said once he had reached the door and pressed the button to open it.

" Thanks." Jim said lightly as he stepped through, Spock following in his wake.

No sooner had the door shut behind them, Spock immediately employed his Vulcan speed. Jim had just started turning around with the intention of asking Spock if he wanted to turn in or if he wanted to talk, when he suddenly found himself wrapped in an almost crushing embrace.

" Wha-Spock?" Jim asked as he instinctively reached up and wrapped his arms around Spock.

Jim felt a jolt go through him when it realized that Spock was lightly trembling beneath the hands he had splayed over the Vulcan's tunic-covered back. Though he was deeply alarmed at this point, Jim tightened his hold around Spock and spoke.

" Spock, what is it? What's wrong?" He asked. " Please tell me."

At first there was only silence, and then Jim felt Spock take in an audibly shaky breath and speak.

" It seems that at this moment, I am emotionally compromised." He said, his voice quiet and with the barest hint of a tremor instead of what was usually a strong baritone.

" Was it something Elder Selik said?" Jim asked, one of his hands unconsciously stroking across Spock's shoulder in an effort to alleviate the faint tremor that was still wracking through Spock's being.

After another beat, Jim felt Spock nod lightly against his shoulder before he spoke.

" Yes, my current emotional state does stem from the conversation I had with the Elder at his residence ten point eight minutes earlier." Spock answered.

" He's really angry with you." Jim said knowingly.

" Indeed he is, but it is not as though I do not deserve as such from him." Spock replied before he let out another shaky breath and continued. " However, it is not because of Selik's words of anger that I am in my current emotional state, it is because of what he spoke to me about afterwards, after he had finished verbally castigating me for my foolishness."

" What did he say to you Spock?" Jim asked instantly.

To this, Jim felt Spock shake his head against his shoulder as he spoke.

" Forgive me Jim, though I do wish to tell you what you want to know, I feel that at this time I cannot do so without running the risk of causing myself to become further emotionally compromised." Spock said, with great difficulty, for Jim could hear the strain in the Vulcan's voice.

Forcing himself to calm his own thundering heart, Jim took a deep breath and tightened his already vice-like hold around Spock and spoke.

" It's okay Spock, you can tell me when you feel you're ready, I'm not going anywhere." Jim said, his voice just a few octaves above a whisper.

Jim then turned his face so that his lips were right by Spock's delicately pointed ear as he spoke.

" What do you need Spock?" He whispered. " Tell me what you need from me, I'll do it."

At these words, Spock slowly drew back a little from from Jim, although he still kept his firm hold around the human. Dark, black-coffee colored eyes swirling with a myriad of powerful emotions stared into pale, ice-blue eyes filled with earnest concern and many questions. After another beat with Jim and Spock simply holing each others' gaze unflinchingly, Spock finally spoke.

" I need you to stay with me Jim." He said softly before he leaned in and gently pressed his forehead to Jim's and continued. " Can you stay with me like this? Just for a few moments, can we stay as we are right now?"

In that moment, Jim felt his eyes starting to burn and his throat constricting painfully as many emotions rose up inside him all at once. In that moment, Jim could see a side of Spock that nearly no one else ever saw, he saw Spock's vulnerability and need to just be close to the person he loved. In that moment he saw Spock's humanity, and it made Jim's heart both swell and bleed. Letting out a shaking breath of his own, Jim swallowed painfully and spoke.

" Y-Yeah Spock, we can do that." Jim whispered as a slightly watery smile spread across his face.

" We can stay this way as long as you want." He added.

At this, Spock seemed to almost give a small, suspiciously relieved sounding sigh before he promptly buried his face into the junction where Jim's neck met his shoulder. Jim in turned melted fully into Spock's embrace, knowing that Spock needed him, and that maybe he needed Spock too right now.

And so, the two stood in this embrace, for a very long time after their words had ceased.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 28**

_._

" I gotta hand it to him, Selik sure knows how to pack a punch without actually punching anybody with his fist." Jim said with a soft sigh as he gazed up at the ceiling of his bedroom area while laying flat on his back on his bed, his pale blue eyes slightly reddened from the sting of recently shed saline.

" Indeed, the Elder's words possess a great deal of impact, far more than any physical blow ever could." Came Spock's baritone voice, laced with a slight fatigue that stemmed from the very emotionally difficult and draining recount he had just given Jim.

The two of them were currently laying side by side on Jim's bed, flat on their backs with barely an inch separating them. After they had stood in the living room area for a good ten minutes, locked in a tight embrace, Jim had all but dragged Spock into his bedroom area and shoved the Vulcan onto the bed before climbing in himself. They had laid facing one another as Jim waited with good amount of patience for Spock to talk to him of his own accord, at his own pace. At first Spock gave a slightly halting account of how Spock Prime had gripped him by the pointed ear and all but dragged him inside the elder's house. To this Jim gave a small smile as he watched Spock flush a deep olive green with embarrassment. But the humor quickly faded as Spock recounted Elder Selik's deep anger and disgust at everything he had been made aware of. Spock recounted of how deep the elder's despair for them both had been. And then, Spock told Jim of Elder Selik's advice to him, about how he needed to forgive himself for the part he had played in Jim's suffering if he had any desire at all to move forward with his life, and his relationship with the human. By the end of Spock's recounting, Jim had a few tears coursing down his face, tears that Spock took it upon himself to wipe away.

Elder Selik's heartache, and the fact that despite everything, he still wanted the best for Jim _and_ for Spock was truly humbling to both the human and the younger Vulcan. Now the pair lay in the quite aftermath, quietly marveling at the power that a seemingly frail looking elder Vulcan still possessed in a universe and time that were not even originally his own.

It was Spock who finally broke the silence that blanketed them.

" I understand Elder Selik's words, but I am deeply unsure as to how I am to actually enact his advice." He said quietly.

Jim's brow knitted together in a light frown of confusion as he shifted onto his side so that he was facing Spock as he spoke.

" What do you mean by that Spock?" He asked.

Spock slowly turned his head so that he could meet Jim's imploring gaze. Spock held Jim's gaze for a long moment, seeming to lose himself in those striking blue eyes before he finally took a breath and spoke.

" How am I supposed to forgive myself Jim?" He asked softly.

The way Spock looked at Jim when he said this had the young man fighting desperately not to look away and start bawling without shame. There was so much pain and self-loathing in Spock's dark eyes, and Jim just hated seeing it there. Pausing a moment to make sure he had his emotions under moderate control, Jim spoke.

" Spock, I think you are already on your way to doing that." He said with a smile.

" What do you mean my that Jim?" Spock asked, silently perplexed.

" What I mean is that we've already gotten so far, you and me." Jim replied before he closed the sparse distance between himself and Spock so that he could drape his arm across Spock's chest and his face was hovering just a few inches above the Vulcan's, holding Spock's gaze unwaveringly as he continued.

" We're here, we're together. We still have a lot we have to deal with. But I know that in time, you'll forgive yourself for hurting me like you did. I think one day you'll just realize that what happened, happened. You'll realize that you made some really, really bad mistakes, but that these mistakes aren't supposed to be like chains that tie you down and keep you from living your life the way you want to live it. It'll be pretty hard, but knowing you, you'll be able to forgive yourself like Elder Selik told you to." Jim finished with a soft smile.

" When you say that I can achieve it, then of course I will." Spock said softly as he reached up to gently grasp Jim's wrist where it was draped across his chest.

Jim's smile widened as he nodded, but then it dimmed as a troubled look filled his countenance.

" Jim, what is wrong?" Spock asked, immediately concerned by the rapid change of Jim's expression.

Jim was silent for a moment before he let out a soft snort of self derision and shook his head as he spoke.

" Look at me, here I am giving you advice on how to move forward when I've barely done any moving forward myself." Jim said with a heavy sigh as he lowered himself down onto the bed beneath him, a distant look filling his striking blue eyes.

" What do you mean by this Jim?" Spock asked as he shifted onto his side and lay facing Jim, still holding the human's wrist in his firm but gentle grasp.

" What I mean is that, I'm laying here telling you that you'll be able to forgive yourself for you mistakes, that you'll be able to move forward once you have. But Spock, I feel a little hypocritical in saying all that." Jim said sadly.

" Why do you feel this way Jim?" Spock asked. " It is illogical." He added.

Jim took in a deep breath before he gathered his nerve, knowing that what he was going to say next would be very hard to endure, for both himself and for the Vulcan he loved laying before him awaiting an answer.

" I told you that your mistakes shouldn't be like chains that hold you down and keep you from living, but Spock, I've been letting what happened to me, what It'Vek... What It'Vek did to me do exactly that, I've let it chain me down and keep me from the way I want to live my life." Jim said shakily.

" Jim, you have done no such thing, you are here, you have resumed your duties as Captain, you have rebuilt yourself from that which would have destroyed a lesser man, you found it within you to forgive me, unworthy as I am, for my trespasses against you. In my eyes, you have not allowed yourself to be chained down, as you say." Spock said with conviction.

To this, he watched as a faint flush of color filled Jim's pale features for a few moments, no doubt from mild embarrassment at the way Spock had so openly spoken of his so-called strength. Spock was just about to apologize for causing Jim any sort of embarrassment when Jim cut him off.

" I want you." He said bluntly, looking Spock dead in the eye.

Spock was stunned into silence at these three simple words. For a moment he seemed to forget his ability to speak. It didn't matter to Jim as he pushed himself up into a sitting position and looked to Spock, silently asking him to do the same. Spock immediately understood and pushed himself up as well. They sat on Jim's bed, facing each other as Jim continued.

" I want you so bad Spock, that sometimes I feel liked I'm drowning. It drives me crazy that you aren't there beside me at night when I'm in bed on the ship. I hate that you're in your quarters right next door, that there's a metal wall that separates me from you. I've actually gotten up from bed in the middle of the night and found myself just standing there staring at the door to the bathroom that joins our quarters, but as you know, that's all I've been doing, just staring at the door and not actually stepping through it to get to your quarters and be with you. Do you wanna know why Spock?" Jim asked, his eyes slightly over bright and his voice holding within it a light tremor.

" Why Jim? What keeps you from me?" Spock asked softly, almost whispering it.

To this, Jim clenched his jaw tightly and swiftly rose from the bed where he and Spock were sitting. The young man took the few steps to the arched window that stood a few feet from his bed and stood with his back to Spock and his arms crossed tightly, tension in every line of his body. Spock slowly rose from the bed as well, and took a few steps towards Jim when the human spoke without turning to face him.

" Terror, terror is what keep me from you Spock." Came Jim's hollow voice.

The sound of it had Spock feeling like all the blood in his veins had turned to ice. In an instant, Spock was crossing the distance to where Jim was standing and reached out towards the human. Spock firmly gripped Jim by the shoulder and made him turn around so that they could face each other. Much to Spock slight chagrin, Jim barely gave any resistance to this light man-handling. When he had Jim fully turned around and facing him, Spock inhaled a sharp breath at what his eyes beheld. Jim's blue eyes were a dull, cloudy grey, and they were down-cast. In every line of the young man's face there was silent, abject misery. It was as if all the Hell Jim had suffered had returned in one fell swoop, and the very sight of it to Spock made the Vulcan feel physically ill.

Without pausing to give it any thought, Spock reached out with blinding speed and took Jim's pale face into his hand. Jim jolted, clearly startled by Spock's action. His blue eyes shot up from where they had been gazing unseeing at the floor and looked up to stare at Spock wide with shock. Spock's hands were firm and warm against his cheeks, making Jim unconsciously let out a small sigh at the unexpected contact.

" Tell me what it is that is causing you to feel such terror, tell me so that I may eradicate with all due swiftness." Spock said with veiled urgency.

To hear Spock desire to alleviate what was plaguing him with such open earnestness made something inside Jim both swell and ache. With a shaky breath, Jim forced himself to keep meeting Spock's dark eyed gaze and answer.

" I-It'Vek." Jim said softly, all but whispering the name of the monster who had caused him so much pain.

" But he has long been dead Jim, that vile animal met his rightful end at the hands of the authorities he was making a truly futile attempt to escape from." Spock said firmly.

" That's just it Spock, that evil son of a bitch is dead, but... I'm still carrying what he did to me Spock, I still feel the terror he put me through it's like these are my chains, like your guilt is yours, and no matter how hard I try I just can't get free of them. That blue scaled monster robbed me Spock." Jim said, his jaw starting to tremble a little while his eyes stung with the onslaught of bitter salt.

" What do you mean Jim?" Spock asked.

Jim bit back a sob and looked down, shaking his head as he screwed his eyes shut tightly to stave off the tears. When he felt he had composed himself somewhat, Jim looked back up at Spock with reddened eyes and spoke.

" He robbed me of my own body." Jim gritted out, agony marring every line of his face as he continued. " I may have been drugged, but I can still remember things, like the stink of his breath, the way his... the way his scales f-felt on my skin. I remember how he shoved me against the conference table and undid my pants instead of ripping them before he... before he... Oh God."

It was here that Jim could speak no further, too overwhelmed by the memories and emotions of his ordeal as tears began to roll down his ashen cheeks. The very sight of it made Spock want to bring It'Vek back from the dead so he could kill him all over again, rend the Antarian limb from limb with his bare hands. But, that was impossible no matter how deeply he desired it. It'Vek was dead and gone, but Jim, the survivor of his vile acts was alive and in dire need. No standing it for one more second, Spock yanked Jim into his arms and squeezed him with a good amount of force. Jim let out a small cry of startled pain at the tight embrace, but soon he was melting into it, and soaking up the comfort and protection Spock was silently and freely giving him.

" It'Vek is in whatever dark afterlife he earned for himself." Spock whispered into Jim's ear before he tightened his already steel-like hold around Jim and continued. " You are here Jim, we are here. What do you need from me Jim? Tell me what you need from me, and I shall do it."

Hearing his own words from earlier repeated by Spock, Jim smiled against the Vulcan's neck despite himself as he spoke.

" I guess it's my turn to tell you that I need you to stay with me." Jim said softly before he continued. " Can we stay like this for a little while?"

" Of course Jim, for as long as you require." Spock replied.

" In addition, I do not have a desire to let you go even after this requirement of yours has been met." He added.

This simple statement served to bring a fresh wave of tears to Jim's pale blue eyes, only these were not tears of haunted despair, but tears of gratitude and love.

" I love you Spock." Jim whispered softly, but Spock with his sharp Vulcan sense of hearing heard it loud and clear.

" I love thee in return Jim." Spock replied as he nuzzled his face into Jim's golden-brown hair.

All conversation ceased after that, and things remained engulfed in this silence for a good long while, which was broken only by the occasional hitched breath from Jim or the soothing word from Spock that followed.

_Later on, after Jim's turbulent emotions had finally run their course..._

" I guess it's my turn to be embarrassed about losing it." Jim said with a self-depricating laugh as he swiped a hand across his dry, slightly puffy eyes.

He and Spock were sitting side by side against the headboard of Jim's bed. Where he sat beside Jim, Spock tilted his head as a show of his confusion as he spoke.

" Jim, it is quite illogical for you to feel embarrassment over expressing your emotions so openly, you are human after all." He said as a means of reassurance.

Jim chuckled and shook his head before he spoke.

" So you're saying that you have a monopoly of embarrassment at showing your emotions because you're the Vulcan in this relationship?" He asked teasingly.

Spock was silent for a moment before he spoke.

" Of course not Jim." He said with a faint, mischievous glint in his dark eyes.

Jim just rolled his eyes and playfully punched Spock's arm before he spoke.

" I don't know about you but I am drained in every sense of the word." He said with a sigh.

" Indeed, this evening has been, most taxing for us both." Spock said with a nod.

Jim silently stared at Spock for a moment, the Vulcan staring back. There was so much that was left between them, issues that hung over them like dark clouds that stubbornly refused to give way to the light of the sun.

" How do we even begin to start getting back to the physical love that we had before Spock?" Jim asked softly as he reached out and cupped the Vulcan's pale cheek.

" I do not know the correct answer to your question Jim." Spock replied as he leaned into Jim's touch and reached up to cover the young man's warm hand with his own as he continued.

" Perhaps the solution to our dilemma is a simple one."

" What's your solution Spock?" Jim asked curiously.

" I propose that we not take any drastic step, and simple carry on with our relationship as we have been doing thus far." Spock replied.

A slow, warm smile spread across Jim's face before he swiftly leaned in and gently sealed his lips over Spock's in an unexpected, but definitely not unwelcome kiss. Spock was stunned for a few moments but soon he was responding in kind to Jim's affection. When they drew away, Jim grinned brightly at the pale green flush that colored Spock's normally pale cheeks.

" I like your way of thinking Mr. Spock." Jim said softly.

" I am please you do Captain." Spock replied just as softly.

The two stayed in this quiet closeness for several long moments before Spock spoke, suddenly struck with an idea as to how they could spend the day tomorrow.

" Jim, an idea has come to mind as to how we may spend the day tomorrow." Spock said.

" Well, let's hear it Spock." Jim said. " What do you have in mind?"

" Jim, how open are you to domestic animals?" Spock asked.

" I like them well enough, never had any problems with cats or dog, probably one of the few things in the universe I'm not deathly allergic to." Jim said with a shrug and a slightly sheepish grin.

" Why do you ask?" Jim asked.

Spock's eyes were warm with his version of a smile as he began to explain just where he had it in mind to take Jim tomorrow after breakfast.

Later on, when Jim and Spock reluctantly parted from each other with a final chaste kiss, and had retired to their separate bedroom areas, Jim finally went to sleep with a smile playing on his lips.

He couldn't wait for tomorrow, where Spock was going to give him the grand tour of the Vulcan colony, culminating with them heading over to a small breeder's facility just across the city.

A facility dedicated first and foremost to the breeding of healthy young Sehlats.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 29**

_._

The sun rose bright and hot over the desert planes of Vafer-Tor. A pair of dark eyes blinked open with the new morning light that softly streamed into his bedroom area through the arched window nearby. It did not take very long for Spock to regain his barring in regards to his surroundings. Just seconds after first waking from his slumber, Spock was on his feet and making his way into the bathroom that was connected to his bedroom area. Once inside, Spock quickly and methodically went about his mourning routine, culminating with a brisk, approximately three minute-long sonic shower. Once he was done, Spock emerged from the bathroom clad in a simple Vulcan bath robe, the clothes he had slept in having long since disappeared into the laundry unit chute within the bathroom. Without preamble Spock set about getting dressed for the day.

The Vulcan rummaged through the drawers containing his clothing and quickly grabbed up some undergarments before going about making the rest of his clothing chose a simple Vulcan tunic that was a soft emerald green, and a simple pair of black trousers similar to the ones he wore when he was on duty. Spock donned his chosen garments and then went about preparing for his usual morning session of deep meditation.

Spock had just laid out a simple meditation mat before the arched window when he was struck by a sudden desire. Feeling the tips of his eyes grow warm and flushed a light olive green, Spock abandoned his meditation mat and quietly exited his bedroom area. With all the stealth his Vulcan heritage provided him Spock made his way across to the doorway of the other bedroom area that made up the guest quarters.

Once he was at this doorway Spock partially pressed himself against the stone that comprised the sides of the doorway and carefully peered inside. Spock felt his heart beat faster in his side when his dark eyes fell on the bedroom area's lone occupant who was still sound asleep.

Where he lay beneath the covers of his bed, Jim Kirk looked the picture of peace. In the dimness of the room which the morning light had only just begun to permeate through, Jim look truly breathtaking. It took all of Spock's will not to simply barrel the rest of the way into Jim's bedroom and wake the human up simply so he could kiss him senseless.

During his time as Starfleet Academy, Spock had read many works of Terran literature dating back to the old ages. The words and their meaning had made very little sense to Spock and his Vulcan logic. The descriptions of beauty and the awe it inspired in the beholder had always been something foreign and illogical to Spock.

But now as Spock stood there gazing upon Jim's sleeping countenance, the Vulcan could say with certainty that at the very least, he was beginning to understand what those Terran writers of old had meant within their written words of such things as beauty that could melt the hardest heart and bring even the most jaded of men to their knees.

Thankfully, Spock did not physically feel like his heart was melting, or that he would actually collapse into an undignified heap on the floor, but he did feel this strange warmth course through his very being. If it were up to him, Spock was sure that he could spend the whole of this new day simply standing where he was, gazing at his love. But seeing as to how that would not be conductive to anything, and that he had a very active day planned for himself and Jim, Spock reluctantly moved.

Still employing his Vulcan stealth Spock slowly crept into Jim's bedroom and made his way to the sleeping young man's side. Then very slowly Spock sank to one knee beside the bed and leaned forward so that he was hovering a sparse distance from Jim's sleeping face

Spock took another moment simply to admire Jim for the handsome young man he was before he gathered his courage and leaned forward the rest of the way. Spock brushed his lips against the arch of Jim's cheek. It was the barest of touches, but the contact sent a tingling thrill through Spock none the less.

Spock drew back and spoke, his voice a light whisper.

" I love you."

To Spock's silent relief, Jim did not stir from either the barely their kiss he had just received, or Spock's whispered declaration. With reluctance, Spock rose from where he kneeled and with a lingering look of veiled longing, he turned and silently made his retreat.

But as he left, Spock didn't see the pair of sapphire blue eyes that slowly opened halfway and watched him as he made his exit.

A small smile curled up the corners of Jim's lips as he watched Spock disappear through the doorway. Spock had not been as stealthy as he had liked to have believed himself, and Jim had felt and heard everything, but had chosen to spare the Vulcan from embarrassment and kept up the semblance of being asleep.

With a small sigh Jim closed his eyes and drifted off back to sleep with a smile still on his face.

Jim may have spared Spock some embarrassment just now, but there was still a whole day ahead for him to take the opportunity to turn his Vulcan's pointed ears a lovely shade of green.

Spock quietly re-entered his own bedroom area after his impromptu visit to Jim. Wanting to calm his many racing thoughts, Spock quickly made his way to the arched window where he had first laid out the meditation mat he had abandoned. Gracefully sinking down onto his knees on the mat, Spock let the early morning sun gently bath him in its warmth as he slowed his breathing down to a calm rhythm and cleared his mind of all his swirling thought, for the time being at least. And so, for the next few hours Spock lost himself in mediation.

But for all of Spock's mental capability and control, he could not keep thoughts of the individual sleeping in the other bedroom area very far from his mind, nor did he even try to protest this.

_Two hours later..._

Sarek's house was still and quiet with the early morning as Spock slowly padded down the main hallway that led into the structure's center. Spock silently entered the living room area and made his way straight across to the door that led outside to the veranda.

The moment he stepped outside, Spock was bathed in the early morning light. Had Jim been out here at this hour, he probably would have collapsed from the heat, but to Spock the warmth of the New Vulcan sun was pleasant against his skin.

Spock slowly made his way across the veranda and came to stand at the railing. Dark eyes slowly traveled across the desert plain that surrounded the entire house. The land was a rich and earthy auburn hugh, with a touch of gold from the newly risen sun. Far away in the distance loomed the small chain of mountains painted black against the sun, marking the very last outskirts of the Vulcan colony.

Spock stared out at the vast terrain and contemplated various things that ranged from what he had planned for the day with Jim, to elder Selik's words from the previous evening. So deep was Spock in his thoughts that he almost did not hear the soft sound of approaching feet, almost. Spock turned around and was met with the sight of his father, dressed in a simple light brown tunic and dark green trousers, over which was a light, long jacket of the same dark green.

" Greetings to you Sa-fu." Sarek said as he approached Spock and came to stand beside him.

" I greet you in turn, Sa-mekh." Spock replied with a small nod.

" James still sleeps?" Sarek asked.

" Yes father, as you know humans require at least eight hours of sleep for optimal function, Jim has only had approximately six point three hours so far." Spock replied.

" That is well, for I desire to speak with you my son." Sarek said while giving Spock a knowing look.

" Indeed father." Spock said, all the while trying his best to quash the sudden urge to squirm beneath his father's serious gaze.

" Come my son, let us be seated and converse." Sarek said as he gestured towards the plush chairs that stood over by the other side of the veranda.

Spock gave a nod and wordlessly followed his father across the veranda. When father and son reached the veranda chairs, they each took respective seats and sat in silence for a long moment before Spock finally spoke.

" What is it you wished to discuss with me father? He asked feeling a hint of apprehension in his gut.

Sarek looked upon his son for a beat before he spoke.

" I shall start by simply asking what your plans are for the day." He said.

" I plan to give Jim a guided tour of the colony, culminating with a visit to the sehlat breeding facility." Spock replied.

Sarek nodded in approval before he pinned Spock a look and spoke.

" Now may I ask what your plans are relative to the remainder of your life?" He asked, deadpan.

" And do they include the young man who is currently still sleeping in my guest quarters?" Sarek added.

Sarek watched on in silent amusement as his son jerked in surprise and almost gawked at him in shock.

" F-Father I-" Spock began once his voice returned to him, but Sarek smoothly cut him off.

" I may not have the truly remarkable sense of intuition you mother possess, but I would have you believe that I was married to her long enough to develop a small sense of intuition of my own." Sarek said, before he looked Spock square in the eye and continued.

" You did not bring James here with you to Vafer-Tor just to see the colony, did you my son?"

Sarek watched as Spock's cheeks and the tips of his pointed ears flushed a deep olive green as he averted his gaze to the stone floor of the veranda. He looked for all intents and purposes like a youngling rather than an adult. It reminded Sarek of the times when Spock was a youngling, and they had sat together and spoke after Spock had gotten into a fight with one of his Vulcan peers.

" Speak my son, for I desire greatly to know if my reasoning is accurate." Sarek said quietly.

Spock slowly brought his eyes back up to meet his father's gaze, and with a small steadying breath, he spoke.

" Your reasoning is not inaccurate father, I did have an ulterior motive for asking Jim to come to Vafer-tor with me." Spock answered finally.

Sarek gave a small nod of understanding before there was a beat of silence between father and son. Then Sarek spoke again.

" I will respect it if you choose not to answer, but may I know what this ulterior motive is my son?" He asked.

Spock was silent, for once having difficulty expressing his thoughts. Taking in another steadying breath, Spock finally spoke.

" It is foolish and presumptive." He began.

" Let me be the judge of that my son." Sarek countered.

Spock sent his father a barely veiled look of gratitude as he spoke.

" While it is true that I wished for Jim to see the progress of Vafer-tor and that I also asked for him to spend his shore-leave here with me so that we could continue rebuilding our personal relationship, there is something else I desire to achieve while he and I are here for the next three months."

" What is this goal you desire to achieve my son" Sarek asked feeling his own anticipation growing with each passing second.

After another beat Spock gathered his nerve and spoke what would be among the most significant words he would ever say in the entirety of his life.

" Father, I deeply desire to take James Tiberius Kirk as my bonded mate."

When Spock's voice faded away after the last syllable, he was left in awe of himself for actually saying it, for laying his desire down before his father. There was no turning back now, he had made his intentions known to his father.

Sarek for his part sat there beside his son in utter silence and with his expression blank and unreadable. The seconds ticked by in silence, illogically feeling more like hours to Spock as he waited for his father to give some kind of reaction, be it a good reaction or bad one. Let his father please just give him something.

The stalemate was finally ended when Sarek slowly blinked and then leaned forward slightly, his gaze never once wavering from his son's dark eyes as he spoke.

" My son, though you have reached adulthood, you will always be my child, which is why I must ask." Sarek began, his voice deadly serious.

"Does your intent to take James as your mate stem from true desire, or are you doing this out of obligation and guilt for the pain and suffering you caused him?"

It took all of Spock's will to quash down the surge of molten hot anger and hurt that rose up inside him at his father's words, but he knew that he had no right to get feel any kind of indignation. His father was well within his rights to ask for the true roots of Spock's intention, because there would be many lives affected by the desire that Spock had just voiced.

Forcing himself back into calmness, Spock spoke.

" Father, though I can say with a great deal of certainty that I will harbor guilt over the way I treated Jim for the rest of my life, it is not my guilt that fuels my desire to bond with Jim." He said firmly.

Sarek nodded in acceptance of this and then made a small gesture for Spock to further elaborate.

" This is not the first instance in which I have harbored the desire to take Jim as my bondmate." Spock began, doing his best to remain calm while a storm of emotions was raging within him.

" I was on the verge of proposing marriage to Jim, but those plans were derailed because of... what happened to Jim, and the part I played in adding to his misery. Father, I believed that I had lost Jim irrevocably by my actions, and yet against all probability Jim found it within himself to forgive me and take me back."

Spock paused here a moment before he looked his father square in the eye with quiet intensity.

" It matters not whether Jim chooses to honor me by becoming my bonded mate, I know that for a long as I shall still draw breath, to the very depth of my katra I know that I belong to only to him." Spock said softly.

Once Spock's voice faded, there was only silence and a kind of near total stillness as father and son sat facing one another.

The silence seemed to go on for eternity, and Spock fought the very human urge to fidget under his father's intense but unreadable gaze. This silence went on for the better part of an eternity before something finally shifted in the air between father and son. Spock felt his heart stutter almost to a stop when Sarek raised his hand and slowly began reached towards him. The younger Vulcan sat stock still, all the while wondering what it was his father was going to do. A moment later the silent question was answered as Sarek, in an unprecedented move, gently cupped his son's pale cheek.

" S-Sa-mekh?" Spock whispered shakily, for once ignoring proper Vulcan decorum, his eyes wide in astonishment as he all but gawked at his father.

" Be at ease my son, for all is well, better than well in fact." Sarek assured.

" You approve of my choice?" Spock asked, wonder clear in his voice.

" Very much so Spock, I believe James will be an excellent bondmate for you." Sarek said as he withdrew his hand from Spock's cheek and a faraway look filled his countenance as he spoke.

" Once more, I acutely feel your mother's absence my son. I have no doubt that she would have been pleased, but she would have gone further by being able to openly show her pride and joy, both for herself and on my behalf as well."

His father's words about his departed mother were like a photon-torpedo straight to Spock's heart, and for once he felt no shame as he felt his Vulcan control crumble, if only for a few moments. Sarek watched on in respectful silence as he watched his only child duck his head and blink rapidly in a bid to still remain composed.

Several long moments would pass before Spock finally looked back up and met his father's gaze as he spoke.

" Thank you Sa-mekh." He said quietly, all but whispering it.

" There is no need for thanks my son, it is only logical that you would choose James as your bondmate, considering how deeply you feel for him and he feels for you despite all that has transpired between the two of you." Sarek said.

" Indeed father, I am truly fortunate that James has allowed me back into his life after my own grievances against him." Spock said with a nod.

A moment of thoughtful silence passed between father and son before Sarek spoke.

" While I am in full support of your choice Spock, I am curious as to how and when exactly you are actually going to ask James to bond with you." He said, expectant of a speedy answer.

The older Vulcan watched as a light green slowly tinted his son's cheeks and the tips of his delicate ears as Spock spoke after a moments pause.

" I am not exactly sure when I will propose, only that i greatly desire to do so. To be fair to Jim, though I do believe that he would very much be receptive to the kind of commitment bonding with me would entail, I know for certain that there are issues that Jim is still working through." He said, all the while feeling a twinge of guilt and sadness for the one he loved.

" I take it that these issues you speak of are... intimate in nature?" Sarek asked with veiled knowing.

Spock could only give a mute nod . Sarek nodded in turn before speaking.

" It is quite clear to me that there is still much work you must do regarding your relationship with James." He said before continuing.

" If you will allow it, might I impart on you some of my own wisdom?" He asked.

" Of course father, your counsel would be most acceptable." Spock said, preparing to hand off Sarek's every word.

" This matter is a most delicate one my son, and I advise that you address these issues that still remain between you and James head on." Sarek began, pausing to allow Spock to absorb his words before he continued.

" By no means do I mean for you to force anything with James, for that would undoubtedly be disastrous."

" What do you suggest I do father?" Spock asked.

" Keep doing what you have been doing Spock. However, I believe that it would serve you well to be slightly more forward with your words, but subtle in your actions my son. As your mother in all her qualities often said to me, one can possess the deepest of feeling for another being in their hearts, but what good would any of the be if one cannot express these feeling, however loudly or quietly, to the one they are for?" Sarek said, smiling inwardly as memories of his beloved Amanda saying these words to him passed through his mind's eye.

It was several moment before Spock spoke.

" Your logic is quite sound my Sa-mekh." He said quietly.

" Indeed my son, but only because your mother's logic was more sound in regards to the topice we have been discussing." Sarek said simply.

Father and son sat in a comfortable silence for a while after that, each silently mulling over what had been said between them. It was Sarek who finally broke the silence.

" I am quite please as to what the future may hold for you my son, but shifting the focus onto the present, may I inquire as to your plans for the day?" He asked.

With the still early morning sun softly surrounding them in it's light, father and son began discussing all of Spock's plans for the day, mainly the tour of Vafer-tor he had planned to take Jim on, culminating with a visit to the sehlat breeding facility run by one Lady T'Sera and her family. Spock let his father in on the fact that he secretly planned on buying which ever sehlat Jim liked the most as a gift to the human.

Sarek greatly approved of his son's plan.

_A few hours later..._

Jim's face was held in a sour expression as he stared at the item he was holding in his hand. The item looked small and harmless, but Jim knew better, boy did he know better.

What Jim was currently holding in his hand was among the few things that were a bane to his existence.

A hypo-spray, courtesy of one Dr. Leonard H. McCoy. Held within this hypo-spray was the tri-ox compound that Jim would need to last in the arid New Vulcan climate and if he didn't take it, he ran the risk of some serious heat-stroke. With a resigned sigh, Jim adjusted his grip on the hypo and slowly brought the business end of it to the side of his neck. With a look of trepidation, Jim gingerly pressed the blunt tip of the spray to his neck and slowly brought his thumb to hover over the button that would activate the spray. After several long moments of debating with himself, Jim closed his eyes, inhaled a deep breath through his nose and then pressed the button on the spray to administer the shot of tri-ox compound.

Jim let out a low grumble as he felt the sharp sting of the shot. He opened his eyes and glared at the now empty spray he was holding with open disdain.

" I miss ya to Bones." Jim grumbled with a small smirk at he reminder of his best friend and doctor who seemed to go out of his way to spray him with these things every chance he got.

With a small huff Jim tucked the empty hypo-spray back in the convenient little carry case Bones had given him before they had parted ways for their respective shore-leave. McCoy had given him more than three months worth of the stuff just to be on the safe side. With a small chuckle Jim got up and placed the tri-ox case on the deck that stood by the window and stretched.

Dressed in a simple white v-neck t-shirt and worn blue jeans, Jim was relatively cool in his bedroom area, but still wondered how he would fair in the New Vulcan sun for the rest of the day he was going to spend with Spock. Jim let a soft grin spread across his face despite the lingering twinge in his neck from the hypo. He could hardly wait to see what Spock had planned for them to do for the day. He was most looking forward to the visit to the sehlat breeder Spock had promised to take him to.

Jim was so caught up in his thought about a certain Vulcan that he was thoroughly startled when said Vulcan's voice rang out.

" Are you ready for breakfast Jim?" Spock asked from here he was standing in the doorway to Jim's bedroom.

" Jeez Spock, way to sneak up on a guy!" Jim exclaimed as he grinned at Spock.

" My apologies Jim, it was no my intention to startle you." Spock said as he stepped further into the room. " I merely wished to ascertain if you were ready to leave our quarters and join my father for breakfast."

" Oh, yeah I'm good to go Spock."

Jim made his way toward Spock when the Vulcan spoke.

" Have you taken the tri-ox compound Dr. McCoy provided you with?"

" Oh yeah, didn't you hear me groaning in sheer agony?"

" I may have heard something, but I would not describe the sound as one of sheer agony as you have so put it."

" Still stung a lot though, and you know how much I hate those things on any given day, more so since I'm on vacation."

Jim reached up to rub the side of his neck to emphasize his point, his fingers ghosting over the small, slightly reddened circular patch of skin just below his jaw bone. Seeing this had Spock instantly struck with boldness as he stepped closer to Jim and spoke.

" Indeed, I have witnessed your aversion to hypo-sprays on many occasions on board the ship, therefore allow me to alleviate your discomfort."

" Spock wha-" Jim began to say, but the rest of his words were abruptly cut off as he felt a strong arm gently wrap around his waist and slowly pull him forward, giving him ample time to pull away if he wanted to, till he was pressed up against Spock. The next thing he knew, Jim was letting out a small gasp as he felt Spock's lips pressed against the spot on his neck where he had injected the tri-ox. Jim felt his eyes flutter on their own accord at the unexpected but not unwelcome. Without even thinking about it, Jim's arms snaked up and wrapped themselves around Spock as he chuckled softly and spoke.

" Spock, you sneaky humanoid jack rabbit." He all but whispered into Spock's pointed ear with a grin, absolutely loving the feeling of Spock's lips against his skin.

Spock drew back slightly so that he could speak.

" Forgive me if my actions have been too forward."

" Why would I mind Spock? We're together and you didn't overstep with me at all." Jim assured before a mischievous glint filled his bright blue eyes.

" And since you were kind enough to kiss it all better for me, I can think of only one way pay you back."

Spock and Jim drew back but remained in each other's arms as the Vulcan spoke.

" Jim paying me back for a kiss is totally uness-"

The rest of Spock's sentence was cut off when Jim swiftly pressed his lips to the delicate arch of Spock's pointed ear in a lingering kiss. The action seemed to make all coherent thought momentarily flee from Spock's mind as he barely bit back a gasp at the warm and unexpected contact.

Grinning from ear to ear, Jim spoke into Spock's pointed ear.

" Now I hope I haven't overstepped any boundaries with you, have I Spock?" He asked teasingly with a slight huskiness to his voice that reeked havoc on Spock's senses. Jim himself was pleasantly surprised at his own forwardness.

" No Jim, you most certainly... have _not _overstepped any bounds." Spock assured while unconsciously tightening his hold on Jim.

" In fact your actions are most pleasing." Spock added.

The couple tapered off into a comfortable silence after that, with the occasional chuckle from Jim, simply enjoying the closeness they were sharing. It was Jim who reluctantly broke the quietness between them as he spoke.

" Spock while I really _really_ enjoying our current position, you did say that you had a lot planned for us today and I'm pretty sure that your dad's waiting for us with breakfast." He said with a bright smile still on his lips.

Spock drew back from Jim with a nod and reluctance in his heart as he spoke.

" Indeed you are correct Jim, in fact my father was the one who set me to fetch you in the first place." He said with a light green blush staining his cheeks.

" Well if that's the case, then we really shouldn't keep him waiting any longer, plus I'm starving so let's move." Jim grinned before walking off with a noticeable bounce in his step.

Spock quickly followed suit with his eyes smiling.

It may have seemed illogical, but as he walked side by side with Jim, Spock couldn't help but feel that today was going to be an exceptionally good day.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 30**

_._

Sarek took a light sip of his tea as he silently watched the two younger men sitting at his breakfast table out on the veranda. Jim and Spock were in deep conversation, so deep that they were oblivious to Spock's father sitting in audience. Spock was telling Jim about the newly established Vulcan Science Academy while Jim was listening with rapt attention and also enjoying spoonfuls of the fruit porridge he had chosen to have for breakfast. From where he sat Sarek was silently enjoying the sight of his son and Jim being so natural with each other, it reminded him of bygone mornings shared with Amanda. It filled Sarek with both sadness at his own loss, but warmth at what his son had worked for hard to regain.

" So where are we headed to first Spock?" Jim asked after he had enjoyed another mouthful of his delicious breakfast, which so much better than the oatmeal from the replicators on the ship.

" I had a thought that we could start off at the center of the colony where the metropolitan area has been established. You did express that you wished to see the colony so we shall start at the epicenter."Spock replied.

" Sounds good, but when are we going to see the sehlats?" Jim asked, barely containing his eagerness.

" I spoke with the owner of the farm, Lady T'Sera, she has informed me that the best time to interact with the sehlats would be in the late afternoon, so I thought it best that were go there after we've had lunch." Spock explained.

" Are you amenable to that Jim?" He added.

" That's totally fine Spock, you don't gotta ask." Jim said with a smile.

" I shall always ask." Spock countered with warmth in his deep brown eyes.

" I have no doubt of that." Jim sighed with mock resignation before he chuckled and went back to all but inhaling his porridge.

Sarek watched as Spock's eyes lingered on Jim for a few moments longer before he too focused his attentions to his breakfast. From where he sat Sarek felt inwardly amused at the exchange between his son and Jim. To Sarek it was quiet clear that his Spock was, as the human saying went, totally gone for the blond haired and blued eyed young man sitting at the table with him.

Amanda would have been most please.

Once breakfast was over, Jim and Spock took their leave of Sarek, although Jim did ask Spock's father to come along with them, the Vulcan Elder sited that he had work with the New Vulcan High Council and the Building Commission that he needed to attend to. This was in fact true that Sarek did have important meeting to attend, but there was also no way in hell he was going to be a third wheel, so Jim and Spock headed off to tour the colony.

_A little while later... _

From where he sat behind the wheel of his father's hover car Spock kept stealing furtive glances at the young man sitting in the front passenger seat beside him. Against the late morning sunlight Jim looked incredible. It took all of Spock's self control not to land the hover car and show Jim just how much he appreciated the human appearing so attractive in that moment. Thankfully for both their sakes Spock wisely did not act on these urges. He simply kept glancing at Jim and wordlessly admired his lover who seemed to be radiating excitement despite sitting casually in his seat.

Spock would never admit it out loud, but it pleased him greatly to see Jim so eager to look upon the people of New Vulcan and see the progress that had been made in the colony thus far.

" Where are we headed to first Spock."

Spock was broken from his musings but quickly moved to reply.

" I had a thought that we would go to the very center of the colony's metropolitan area where we could then tour the area by foot."

Spock turned momentarily to Jim.

" Are you agreeable to this?"

" No problem Spock, I have it in mind that just walking about is the best way to explore any place."

Jim smiled at Spock before both men turned their gazes back to the wide dirt road they were traveling on.

" If that is your opinion then are you planning to walk around the vast expanse of space, if so I would very much like to see how you would make such a feat possible Captain."

Spock deliver was deadpan while his eyes were on the road as he waited for Jim's reaction. The Vulcan was blank faced as ever, but inside he was smirking at his own cheekiness. There was a moments pause where Jim turned and simply stared at Spock, and then the next moment he was throwing his head back and laughing brightly.

" C-Careful there Mr. Spock cause I just might come up with a way to walk through space, and then you'd have to come running after me."

Jim broke of into quiet chuckles as he envisioned the aforementioned feat.

" I will gladly follow you through space Jim, and anywhere else within the universe you will go."

Spock had kept his eyes on the road, but his voice had softened with conviction as he had spoken. Spock's softly spoken words with all their meaning caused several emotions to rise up within him all at once, and if he felt it a little difficult to speak, Jim blamed it on the dry desert air.

" That's... That's really good to know Spock, thanks."

Jim swallowed with difficultly until the constricting feeling in his throat diminished to a faint dull ache. A warm smile slowly spread across his face as he ducked his head gather himself. From where he sat behind the wheel Spock allowed his eyes to fall upon Jim for a few moments.

" You are welcome Jim."

With that Spock turned his gaze back to the road so as to avoid veering off it. The next few minutes of the drive were spent in a charged silence with only the occasional question from Jim here and there to bring ease between them, which naturally worked to some degree so that the pair were once again in a more or less comfortable place with each other for the remainder of the journey to the colony.

_Ten minutes later..._

Sarek's hover car settled onto the smooth pavement with a light thud as all of its systems shutdown. Once the craft was firmly on the ground its two front passenger doors opened simultaneously as Spock and Jim climbed out. The New Vulcan sun was naturally beating down from up above and Jim was glad that he dressed light and that he had begrudgingly taken the tri-ox compound earlier. Spock quickly walked around the hover car to stand beside Jim as they both took a silent look around. True to his earlier words Spock had driven them to the very center of the colony and it was indeed a small metropolis. Though not quite grand in scale yet, the place was filled with life. Hover cars were going this way and that up above, shops lined the streets, and most importantly there were countless New Vulcan citizens going about their lives.

A bright grin spread across Jim's face as he turned to Spock.

" Spock this is amazing."

" Indeed Jim, it is most gratifying to see that the people of Vulcan have started living anew."

Jim felt his smile dim for a moment at Spock's words, but it was fleeting. With his smile back to full force Jim spoke.

" How about we just walk around and see where it takes us Spock?" He asked.

" While I would prefer a set location, I did tell you that I would follow you wherever you wished to go." Spock replied before he leaned in close and stared into Jim's eyes with his own dark eyes.

" So to that I hold, lead the way Jim." He added.

Jim chuckled to hide the delicious shiver Spock had cause to ride up his spine before the blond took another look around. When a shot filled with some particularly interesting merchandise Jim grinned at Spock over his shoulder as he headed off towards it. So began Jim and Spock's exploration of the colony. The shops that they visited were filled with items of a very wide variety. Jim particularly liked the Vulcan book shop that stood a few blocks away from a large, cathedral-like building that Spock informed him was the new home of the Vulcan High Council.

What truly surprised Jim was that for all of their famous stoicism and emotional control, the Vulcan people he encountered were courteous, almost bordering on full-on warm to him. There were many a passerby who recognized Jim and Spock as the famed Captain Kirk and Commander Spock of Starfleet. While there was no demands for autographs or crazy fan behavior, there was a great deal of dignified greeting and quite conversation that lasted a few minutes every now that then from New Vulcan citizens. It was all very refreshing to Jim, and only mildly embarrassing to Spock, who was unfortunately not at all used to such receptivity from his own people.

Jim and Spock went on to explore just about the entirely of the court square shops. It was while they were walking side by side that Jim's stomach made its presence known with a particularly loud groan.

" Look like breakfast's been thoroughly digested."

Jim grinned as he patted his restless stomach.

" Indeed therefore the logical step would be to partake in lunch at this time."

" Know any good places here Spock?"

Jim was still smiling as he watched Spock gave a minute quirk of one perfectly slanted eyebrow as he spoke.

" As a matter of fact I know of an establishment that I am most certain will be to your liking, giving your new found partiality to plomeek soup."

" Really now, well if that's the case then lead the way cause I am starving!"

Jim let out a chuckle and playfully swatted at Spock's shoulder, earning another quirked eyebrow for it before he followed after the Vulcan to the aforementioned establishment.

About half an hour later found Jim and Spock sitting at a table for two outside a homely looking eatery that was already buzzing with a substantial lunch crowd. Jim and Spock had just been presented with their respective orders. It was after Spock had taken his first bite of the vegetable stir-fry he had ordered for himself that he turned his attention to Jim and noticed the way the young man was tucking into his bowl of freshly made green Plomeek soup, a variation of the traditional yellow-colored soup, but made with only green ingredients. Jim looked to be thoroughly enjoying the dish, the sight of which had Spock's heart beat increasing slightly in its speed. Feeling eyes on him, Jim reluctantly turned his attention away from his lunch and looked up to see Spock silently staring at him.

" Something wrong Spock?"

Spock gave a nearly unnoticeable start and felt the tips of his ears heat up in olive-hued embarrassment.

" Forgive me for staring, it was impolite."

To say that Spock was silently mortified would have been a major understatement. When the sound of Jim's deep chuckling filled his ears, Spock looked up to see Jim's mirth-filled countenance. When Jim saw the barely disguised look of questioning on Spock's face he was quick to speak.

" Spock, would you lighten up already?" He asked with a smile.

" Jim I am currently not in possession of any portable lighting devices to further illuminate myself." Was Spock's reply.

The reaction they caused in Jim was instantaneous. Before he could think any better of it Jim threw his head back and laughed out loud. From where he sat Spock was completely mesmerized by how Jim's face just lit up with mirth. Jim went on laughing for a good few minutes until he noticed the besides the sound of his own laughter, things were a bit too quiet. Tapering of into softer chuckles, Jim finally took a look around. Jim's chuckling abruptly cut off and his eyes widened as he realized that all of the other customers who were sitting outside with him and Spock were openly staring at him. Being one to always think on his feet, Jim was quick to try and remedy any perceived disrespect.

" Please excuse my emotional outburst everyone, just me being the illogical human that I am."

To Jim's silent relief he watched as one by one the other Vulcans all seemed to accept his apologies and went back to their meals and conversations. All except for a certain Vulcan who was sitting across from the blond human.

" What is it Spock?"

Jim felt curious as to what Spock was staring at him like that for. Was there something on his face?

" Nothing is wrong Jim." Spock finally replied. " I simply could not help but admire the exquisite sight before me."

Jim felt a jolt go through him at Spock's words, that coupled with the earnestness shining in the Vulcan's dark eyes had Jim feeling a myriad of emotions, the chief of which were warmth and love. Jim fought off the urge to duck his head, and instead looked Spock square in the eyes as he spoke.

"Thank you Spock."

" You are welcome Jim."

The pair held each others' gaze for a long moment after that, lost in everything that was between them, both good and bad, but mostly focused on the good. It was Jim who reluctantly broke the moment between them.

" Spock, we really should finish lunch."

Spock blinked and seemed to come back to himself as he nodded in agreement.

" Indeed we should, the sooner we are finished with our meal the sooner we will be able to visit the Sehlat breeders."

Jim grinned widely at Spock before picking up his spoon.

" Now you're talking."

With that the pair went back to eating their respective lunches, a little quicker in pace this time. About ten minutes later the pair were bidding farewell to the fine Vulcan establishment and making their way back to where Spock had parked the hover car.

As they walked side by side, Jim found himself stealing fleeting glances at Spock. Jim was currently in the process of psyching himself up to make a bold move, and he just hoped that he would not end up making a complete fool of himself and embarrassing Spock as well. Taking a subtle look around as he and Spock walked, Jim felt his heart speed up in pace when he caught sight of the entrance to a small alleyway next to a small Vulcan tea shop. Gathering his nerve, Jim wordlessly made a B-line for the alley.

" Jim where are you going?"

Jim heard Spock's soft baritone behind him and turned his head to look over his shoulder at his Vulcan. When their eyes met Spock found himself pausing mid-step in following after Jim. When he gazed into those pale blue orbs, Spock could see the warmth that was perpetually there, but beneath this warmth was something else, something far less innocent that spoke of Jim's as of yet unrevealed intentions. Despite all his control Spock felt a small spike in his own pulse at what all of this could mean.

A calculating smirk slowly spread across Jim's face as he continued to look at Spock over his shoulder before turning back around and making his way into the alley and disappearing inside it. Spock was frozen where he stood for a few seconds longer before he snapped out of his indecision and continued following after Jim, his pace just little bit quicker than before.

With his long stride Spock made quick work of getting to the mouth of the alleyway. No sooner had Spock set one foot inside, a familiar had was reaching out and lightly grasping him by the front of his tunic. Spock put up no resistance as the hand pulled him further into the alley by his tunic and turned him so that his back softly hit the wall.

The next thing Spock knew, a pair of soft and familiar lips were gently sealed over his own. This time there was no hesitation as Spock responded in kind, his arms snaking up to wrap themselves firmly around Jim's shoulder, pulling the human flush against him. Jim wrapped his arms around Spock's waist and lost himself in all the wonderful sensations that came with kissing the Vulcan.

It was only after several, really long moments that the pair finally parted enough to speak.

" Not that I have any complaints Jim, but what brought this on?"

" What, I guy can't sneak into an alleyway for the sole purpose of making out with his lover?"

" That may be perfectly acceptable-" Spock paused he so that he could pressed a chaste kiss to Jim's lips before he continued.

" But it was quite unexpected."

" Yeah I know right?" Jim ducked his head shyly for a moment before he looked back up into Spock's dark eyes.

" Just really glad I didn't loose my nerve."

" You have no reason to be nervous with me Jim, you may do as you have done just now at your will."

" Does this mean I can grab you and kiss you senseless inside the new building for the Vulcan High Council."

"... As appealing as that may be, I do not think that particular location would be the best place for the behavior we are currently partaking in."

" Relax Spock, I wouldn't do that to you, and I would hate to see the political backlash if we ended up causing several ancient looking Vulcans to suddenly have spontaneous heart attacks."

" Though I doubt our partaking in 'making out' as you have put it, will actually cause in kind of coronary episode in our Vulcan Elders, they will no doubt be quite scandalized."

Jim chuckled at that before prompting burying his face into the side of Spock's neck, earning a small gasp from the Vulcan who unconsciously tightened his hold around the blond haired human. If it were up to Spock, he would have been content to spend the rest of the day right there in that alley, holding Jim to him, allowing all of his senses, from sight all the way to touch to revel in the human and his warmth. But unfortunately, or maybe fortunately for the sake of dignity, that was not to be as the sound of someone lightly clearing their throat caught both Spock and Jim's ears.

The pair reluctantly pulled back from each other as saw that there was a petite, ancient looking Vulcan woman with snow white hair standing a few yards away, eyeing them blankly.

Jim let out a breathless little huff as he felt his face flush with the heat of embarrassment, and a quick glance at Spock rapidly greening face told Jim that the Vulcan was feeling just the same.

Despite his embarrassment, Spock was the one able to speak.

" We beg your pardon Madam."

Jim nodded while looking thoroughly sheepish as he reluctantly took a step back from Spock.

The elderly Vulcan continued to looked at the pair, her weathered brown eyes going from Spock to Jim and then back to Spock before she spoke.

" You are pardoned Younglings, though I strongly urge some discretion in the future."

" Yes Ma'am." Jim said immediately.

" Indeed Madam, we shall." Spock added.

Seemingly satisfied, the elderly Vulcan lady gave a small nod before turning and going on her way. Jim let out a small huff of relieve before turning and sending Spock a sheepish little grin. Spock for his part looked back at Jim with his face blank, but his dark eyes smiling.

" I think it would be best for us to be on our way to Lady T'Sera's Sehlat breeding facility as I promised."

Jim's smile widened as he nodded.

" Yeah let's go, I wanna meet some sehlats."

With that the pair headed off back towards where Sarek's hover car had been parked, and if they walked a bit closer together than what was normal proximity, they paid it no mind.

A few minutes later found back Spock in the driver's seat and Jim strapped in beside in him riding shotgun. The silence between them was comfortable, if a little charged both with the remnants of what had transpired between Jim and Spock in the alley, and Jim's quiet excitement at finally going to meet the sehlats. The drive was spent in a comfortable, albeit slight charged silence between the pair, both because of what had transpired between Jim and Spock in the alleyway, and the former's quiet excitement at finally meet some saber-toothed fur balls. From where he sat in the driver's seat, Spock silently kept glancing at Jim who had his face all but plastered to the glass car window, taking in Vafer-Tor City as they drove past.

The drive to Lady T'Sera's facility took all of about ten minutes to get from the center of the city to the most outer ring. Spock expertly turned the hover car round a street corner and them spoke.

" Here were are Jim, that is the Sehlat breeding facility up ahead."

Spock then pointed at the moderately large cylindrical glass-panned building that stood tall and proud off in the ever diminishing distance. Jim was mildly surprised by the size of the facility.

" Wow, that big building's for sehlats?"

" Indeed Jim, because of what Nero did Vulcans were not the only ones to be driven to the brink of extinction, in addition the facility is cordoned off into several sections to ensure a sufficiently run operation in increasing sehlat numbers." Spock explained.

Jim nodded sadly in understanding.

" Cool."

Spock pulled up in front of the large building, and then smoothly turned the hover car into the small area that had been reserved for parking. This parking lot was already moderately full of other hover cars, indicating that Jim and Spock were not the only ones eager to see some sehlats. Spock found an empty space and expertly parked the hover car. Once all of the cars systems were shut down, Jim and Spock exited the vehicle and began walking towards the waiting arched doors of the facility. It was as they walked that Jim was suddenly struck with some truth.

" Spock, I've never been near a sehlat, what am I supposed to do?"

" Do no worry Jim, interaction with a sehlat is in fact quite simple, I shall explain it to you once we are inside."

Jim smiled and nodded, Spock's reassurances more welcome as the pair reached the facility doors. When the doors opened for them with a soft hiss, Jim eagerly stepped across the threshold with Spock right there behind him.

The main lobby of the building was plain and simple with a circular, metallic reception desk up against the front wall, which was manned by a young Vulcan woman with dark brown hair that was cut in a fashion nearly identical to the cut Spock himself was sporting. Spock led the way to the front desk and came to stand before the young Vulcan receptionist. The woman looked up to regard the new guest with signature Vulcan blankness. There was a beat of silence before the woman raised her right hand in the signature Vulcan greeting and spoke.

" Peace and long life to you both."

Spock and Jim smoothly raised their hands in turn and spoke nearly in perfect sync.

" Live long and prosper to you."

The Vulcan receptionist nodded in acknowledgement before she spoke as she stepped out from behind the receptionist desk.

" Lady T'Sera informed me that the both of you would be visiting our facility today so I shall not cause further delay, please follow me."

Jim and Spock smoothly fell in step behind the woman as she led them down the long corridor that stood behind the receptionist desk.

" If I may ask miss, which part of the facility are you taking us?" Jim asked out of curiosity.

The receptionist promptly replied to Jim's inquiry.

" This corridor leads to the main sehlat habitat that has been established, it is half indoors, and half out-door so that the sehlats are both protected and allowed a sufficient area to roam about as they would naturally."

" Sounds brilliant." Jim commented with a smile as he walked.

" The Sehlats have no complaints." The receptionist replied, surprising both Jim and Spock when she glanced at them over her shoulder, with her face held neutral as Vulcan decorum dictated, but with her light hazel eyes shining with a mild warmth.

The rest of the journey down the corridor was made in comfortable silence save for Jim asking questions now and then about the facility. Finally the trio reached a pair of arched glass doors. It was here that the Receptionist, who's name was now revealed to be T'Melia took her leave, instructing Jim and Spock to simply head right in.

Jim grinned brightly at Spock as he spoke.

" Well, what are we waiting for?"

With that Jim walked off towards the glass doors that led to the Sehlat habitat with Spock dutifully following right behind him. How things would fair once Jim actually came face to face with the creatures that looked like living teddy-bears but with six-inch fangs was anybody's guess.


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 31**

_._

Spock prided himself on always doing his best to maintain his cool and logical Vulcan composure, be it on away missions of negotiations with newly discovered peoples who wished to join the United Federation of Planet, Spock always kept himself together. But right now as he stood on the dirt and grass floor of the Sehlat habitat of Lady T'Sera's Sehlat Breeding Facility, the normally unflappable Vulcan was finding it very difficult not to give in to the many powerful emotions and urges that had suddenly risen up inside him. The reason behind Spock's current predicament was the sight he was witnessing before him.

There amidst a patch of soft, beach-like red sand was a massive chocolate brown Sehlat who was letting out deep rumbles of pleasure as he lay spread-eagle on his back with an expression that could only be described as one of pure and total bliss. The cause of the massive sehlat's pleasure was one James T. Kirk, Captain of the Flag ship of the federation, who was currently standing beside the large animal and grinning wide and bright as he furiously scratched at the sehlat's exposed stomach area. Although he was not the only one of this patch of sand who was enjoying the company of the large Sehlat's, Jim being the one full-bloded human in the place was naturally making his absolute delight open for all around to see.

" My god you're a big softie!" Jim grinned as he found a particularly soft spot on the sehlat's belly and went to town scratching at it, earning a loud and happy rumble from the large animal. Jim quiet chuckles flitted through the air, and though he would never admit it out loud, to Spock's ears the sound was quite pleasant. Finding that he could no longer just stand by, Spock made quick work of walking the short distance across the red-sand patch and came to stand beside Jim and his new Sehlat friend as he spoke.

" I am not one for gloating, but it is quite clear to me that you had no reason for your earlier nervousness Jim."

Jim looked up from the Sehlat he was whole-heartedly petting and met Spock's dark eyes, seeing that they were filled only with warmth and barely veiled fondness.

" Yeah yeah, I hear you Spock, but how come you didn't tell me that the second I'd meet one of these big fellas I'd end up in a literal bear hug?" Jim asked, barely stifling a chuckle as he remember how not twenty minutes ago when he and Spock had entered the habitat and made their way over to this patch of sand, that the big Sehlat had lumbered forward and sat on his rump, and the moment Jim had come within a few feet, had seized the blond-haired young man into a surprisingly gentle hold with it's front paws. It had been in that literal bear hug that a laughing Jim had first started scratching at the Sehlat's belly, thus leading to his current position with the animal.

" That was actually an unexpected response on the sehlat's part, they are usually wary of strangers they encounter, but I suppose this sehlat simply liked you at first sight." Spock offered in explanation.

" He possesses good taste." Spock added with a barely there glint of mischief in his dark eyes.

Jim looked up quickly at Spock's word and eyed the way the Vulcan was looking at him, feeling a slight heat creep into his cheeks at Spock's veiled compliment giving the Vulcan a soft smile until an expectant bark from his new friend had Jim going back to rubbing the giant sehlat's belly.

After a few more minutes of belly rubbing the sehlat finally let out a soft snuffing noise and rolled onto its sturdy paws. The sehlat gently nuzzled its great snout into the crook of Jim's neck and made a deep rumbling noise before it drew away and took its leave of Jim and Spock.

" See ya later Big Guy." Jim smiled as he watched the sehlat lumber off towards an area of the habitat that was made to look like a rock-face filled with several cave-mouths.

" Perhaps he has gone off to take an afternoon nap." Spock said before he turned.

" Come Jim, there is more yet left for us to see in this place."

Witha final look at the large sehlat Jim turned away and trotted off after Spock, passing by other visitors who were enjoying the company of the other sehlats of various size who were on the sand patch. As the pair walked side by side across the sand patch, Jim smiled as he watched the other visitors who were interacting much the same way with the large sehlats much like he had been.

" Hey Spock, why was that sehlat so big?" Jim asked as he and Spock walked. Spock was naturally quick to explain.

" That particular sehlat belongs to the breed that was found in the mountainous region of Vulcan. Through the breeding facility their numbers are steadily expanding with the intention of carefully introducing them into New Vulcan's wild without disturbing the existing eco-system."

Jim nodded and then grinned widely as a thought entered his mind.

" Well that's good to know, but wouldn't it be hilarious if we took one of these big ones back to the ship?"

" If by this you mean would it be amusing to see such a large animal attempting to navigate the corridors of the ship and fit within your quarters then yes, I believe it would be. Though it would be a very illogical thing to take such a large animal aboard a star ship, the only place for a sehlat of that size to have adequate space would be in the ship's cargo hold."

Jim let out a soft laugh as he pictured a large beed sehlat doing exactly those things. Of course Spock was right that it was by no means a practical thing to take such a large sehlat, but the thought was funny and interesting anyway. As they continued, Jim's interest was piqued in another direction from the size of sehlats as he spoke.

" Hey Spock, where are we headed to next?"

" We may go wherever you wish, but I had a thought that perhaps you would be inclined to visiting the nursery area where the younger sehlats are kept." Spock replied.

" That's great and all, but won't their be over-protective mother sehlats we'll have to look out for?" Jim asked.

" You need not worry, though mother sehlats are quite protective of their young, as long as we make it clear that were intend no harm, the mother will allow us to get close. In addition, If the mother sehlats are not in an agreeable mood today, we can always go see the sehlat cubs who are orphans being raised by the facility's staff. " Spock explained.

Jim felt his smile dim at the mention of orphaned sehlats, once again being reminded that it was not just the people of Vulcan who had suffered tremendous loss that hands of a deranged Romulan. Jim quickly shook himself of such melancholy thoughts and instead focused on that fact that he would soon be in the midst of baby sehlats. The large sehlats of earlier, though lumbering and fearsome looking with their sabertooth fangs had still managed to look like large extra large and living Terran teddy bears. Jim knew without a doubt that he would definitely be no match against the baby sehlats.

When he and Spock reached the nursery, Jim took a moment to take in the area. The nursery was separate from the main habitat area with a large glass wall surrounding it to keep the adult sehlats out but allow for a clear view of the inside. Once Jim and Spock stepped through the glass doorway that lead into the nursery, Jim could best describe the place as the oasis that stood amidst the desert landscape of the rest of the sehlat habitat.

While there was no shortage of red colored sand, there was also an abundance of a lush looking moss and a long pool of crystalline blue water off to the far edge of the habitat. And there in the midst of this beautiful landscape were dozens of absolutely adorable sehlat cubs with a different sized mother sehlats and Vulcan keepers standing watch over them as they interacted with visitors, most of whom were Vulcan children and their parents.

Jim all but beamed as he gazed at the baby sehlats. There were just s many of them frolicking about and playing as baby animals did. There were ones with light brown fur the color of rich, dark caramel, some that were hued in the shade of the darkest chocolate, all the way to ones that were completely black in fur color. All of them were stunning and if Jim were completely honest with himself, he would have to admit that they were some of the cutest things he's every laid eyes on.

" Come Jim, let us introduce ourselves to the little ones." Spock said as he began leading the way to the center of the nursery.

Jim quickly fell in step beside Spock, silently eager to get to the babies but not wanting to take any chances in angering any of the mothers, especially the large mama sehlats with the dagger-sized fangs jutting out the corners of their mouths like the saber-tooth tigers that had once roamed Earth.

Jim and Spock came to a stop right at the edge of the moss patch. Jim then turned to Spock.

" So what's the plan Spock?" Jim asked.

" Simply follow me and do as I do Jim." Spock replied.

Then Spock stepped onto the moss and began slowly making his way towards the sehlat cubs. Jim followed suite, carefully observing and follow Spock's example of simply taking it slow as they got nearer to the baby animals.

Both Jim and Spock were careful to avoid stepping on any of the little ones until they were at the very center of the moss patch and completely surrounded by the sehlat cubs. It was then that Spock gracefully sank to his knees and sat down on the moss. Jim followed suite and lowered himself to sit down Indian-style on the moss.

" Now what Spock?" Jim asked quietly, noticing that the cubs were at the moment giving them both a wide berth but opening gazing at them curiously.

" Now we simply wait for them to come to us Jim, simply relax and be as non-threatening as possible." Spock answered.

" Non-threatening, right." Jim nodded, and then he gave a small shrug.

" May as well get comfortable."

With that Jim smoothly leaned forward and plopped down onto his front, crossing his forearms so that he could rest his chin on top of them. Spock was momentarily stunned by this, but he quickly recovered and let his eyes take in the sight of Jim's relaxed form.

" It's okay Spock, you can check me out all you want." Jim grinned as he raised his head to look over his shoulder at Spock, watching as he words immediately caused the Vulcan's cheeks to take on a slight green blush. The two shared a quiet look for a beat before Jim felt his own cheeks start to heat up. With a soft smile Jim ducked his head and laid back down onto his crossed forearms.

And so began the waiting game with the baby sehlats who were eying their new visitors with wary, but curious eyes.

Jim and Spock simply stayed as they were, with Spock sitting with his knees under him and Jim laying on his front, thoroughly enjoying the ultra-soft moss beneath him. Both men kept a veiled eye on the baby sehlats that were watching them, and then it happened, one brave little sehlat cub, the color of milk chocolate, took a tentative step forward. The baby animal carefully made its way across the moss until it came to stand before Jim. Jim did his best to stay relaxed as the baby sehlat sat down on its rump and seemed to be sizing him up with its large black eyes.

Jim met the baby's gaze head on with his pale blue eyes and smiled softly. The sehlat cub finally blinked and them tilted its head to the side, and it was the most adorable thing Jim had ever seen. Jim let out a soft chuckle, to which the baby sehlat let out a small bark.

Very slowly, Jim pushed himself off his front into a sitting position before the baby sehlat. The cub was momentarily wary upon seeing that Jim was bigger than he had first appeared but the cub didn't run away. Deciding to make a move, Jim slowly and carefully held his hand out to the baby, not making and sudden moved and remaining and still as possible.

The sehlat regarded the hand that was stretched out to it with large eyes, and then it slowly rose to its feet and slowly stepped towards it. The cub came to a stop and then leaned forward his little black nose twitching as it sniffed at Jim's pale fingers. Jim smiled at the gesture and kept his hand stretched out. The baby sniffed at him for about a minute before it let out a bark. Then out of no where the baby sehlat lunged at Jim's hand, seizing it with his little front paws and started lightly nibbling at Jim's fingers, making happy little squeaks.

Jim's entire face lit up with joy and he reached out with his other hand and scooped up the little sehlat, letting the baby animal still nibble on the finger tips of his other hand while he brought the cub to his chest, cradling it close.

This breaking of the ice between Jim and this one chocolate colored cub seemed to set off a chain reaction as with happy barks the other cubs converged on Jim and Spock. Within seconds Jim and Spock were basically up to their necks in happy, playful, and adorably curious sehlat cubs. It was basically one giant pile of cuddling all around.

Jim laughed out loud when he caught sight of a sehlat cub that had managed to somehow perch itself on Spock's shoulder and was now paw at his hair curiously, and while Spock remained as blank faced as ever, his dark eyes gave away that he was enjoying himself in the company of the cubs just as much as Jim was.

After almost half an hour of letting the baby sehlats use him as a climbing frame, Jim decided that it would be a good time to wash off all the baby sehlat saliva that had accumulated on his hands from all the tiny mouths that had thoroughly enjoyed nibbling on his fingers.

With great reluctance Jim gently pried off any cub that was clinging to him and rose to his feet with a little difficulty seeing as to how his right leg had fallen asleep a few minutes ago after having sat on the moss for so long.

" Hey Spock, I'm just gonna go wash my hands in the pond, I'll be right back." Jim said.

" Very well Jim, but do be careful not to trip, because the area around the pond his moderately slippery, and a sehlat cub may try to run between your feet as well." Spock replied.

" I'll be careful." Jim said with a smile before he started carefully stepping around the many sehlat cups that were still running about.

Once he was clear of the sehlat cubs, Jim made quick work of getting the rest of the way to the pond. He carefully knelt down by the edge of the water and promptly dunked both hands into the cool and clear liquid. Jim lightly scrubbed his hands together to get them clean before he pulled them out of the water and shook them off. Jim then stood and wiped his damp hands of the legs of his jeans. As he turned to head back to Spock something caught Jim's attention out the corner of his eye. The blonde turned his gaze to further down the edge of the long pond and he was slightly started by what he saw.

There further up the pond and sitting all alone by the edge of the water with its back to him was a tiny sehlat cub. What had startled Jim besides the fact that this little cub was all by itself, secluded from the other sehlat cubs, was that unlike its fellow brown and black furred sehlats, this little cub had fur that was the color of pure white snow.

_" Huh, an albino."_ Jim thought to himself as he slowly started making his way towards the little white cub.

Jim stayed quiet until he was just a few feet away from the cub, and then smoothly sank down onto his knees and spoke.

" Hey little one." He said softly.

The little white cub startled and whirled around to face the owner of the voice, and when it did Jim could barely hold back a gasp as he found himself staring into a pair of the biggest and most gorgeous pale, ice-blue colored eyes he had ever seen.

" Oh my God." Jim whispered to himself in warm awe.

A tiny little growl had Jim realizing that the little white cub was baring its tiny fangs at him, ready to defend itself from a perceived threat. Not wanting to scare the little one off, Jim scooted back a little and sat crossed legged, even going so far as to hunch over a little to appear smaller and less threatening. The little white cub continued to stare warily at Jim, but the human stared right back unflinchingly.

The pair stayed that way in a silent stalemate for what seemed like hours instead of seconds until Jim finally made the first move.

" It's okay little guy, I'm not here to hurt you." Jim said softly as he leaned carefully stretched out his hand.

The white cub let out another tiny growl and took a step back, eying the hand offered with distrust. Jim just smiled tenderly as he kept his hand out and waited for the sehlat to respond to him. Another long moment passed between the young man and the white sehlat cub, and then the cub blinked and relaxed its defensive stance a little. Jim too did his best to remain as he relaxed as he could, like he had in his initial meeting with the other cubs, as he waited.

Finally the little white cub took a very hesitant step forward, and then another, and another until he was slowly walked across the moss towards Jim's outstretched hand. The cub came to stop a breaths length away from Jim's hand. The cub carefully stretched out its neck towards Jim's hand and like the first cub Jim had met, sniffed at the appendage with its little black nose.

_" Little guy looks like a polar bear with tiny walrus tusks." _Jim thought gleefully as he felt the tiny cub's warm breath against his finger tips.

The cub sniffed at Jim to its hearts content, and then it did something completely unexpected. The cub sat down on his rump and then slowly raised one of its front leg up with its paw facing foot-print out, _exactly like Jim's hand._

It didn't take Jim long to figure out what the little white cub was doing, so with a small breathless laugh Jim let his hand drop and leaned forward so that he was on his hands and knees, low to the ground and nearly eye level with the baby sehlat. Paying no mind to any discomfort Jim slowly crawled forward till his face was just inches from the white sehlat cub's out stretched paw. Jim smiled and then proceeded to make exaggerated sniffing noises with his nose over the diminutive paw that had been offered to him. When he drew back with the small chuckle the sehlat lowered its front paw and gave a small, high-pitched bark. Jim kept himself crouched low on all fours and waited to see what the cub would do next, hoping that he had gained the cubs acceptance.

The man and the baby sehlat stared at each other once more, and then something in the are between them seemed to ease as the white sehlat cub's pale blue eyes filled with light and he happily shot forward. The next thing Jim knew he had a pure white baby sehlat all but glued to his face. Jim laughed into the soft furred baby belly that was pressed against his nose. He gently took hold of the cub with his hands and lightly pried it off so that he could sit up straight and properly hold the cub to him.

The tiny white cub let out a happy, high pitched whine as it nuzzled at Jim's neck to its heart's content, basking in the warm of its new human friend. Jim grinned widely as he used one hand to hold the cub to him while he gently stroked the sehlat cub's soft-furred back with his other.

In that quiet moment Jim felt his heart fill with a delirious kind of joy that he had not felt in a really long time. It soothed something deep inside him that had remained cracked and broken despite his reclamation of his life and his love. It the span of a few second this little white cub in his arms had completely nuzzled its way right into Jim's heart.

Jim was so happily lost in holding the little white sehlat cub that it startled him when he heard someone, a female someone, lightly clear their throat. Jim looked up to see a tall and slender Vulcan woman standing a few feet way from him, looking at him with calm and serene greenish-hazel eyes held within a neutral face.

This unknown woman was the first to speak.

" I am T'Sera, and I greet thee."

Jim smoothly rose to his feet, still holding the cub to him as replied to the woman now revealed to be the owner of this breeding facility.

" Pleasure to meet you Lady T'Sera, you facility is absolutely amazing."

Jim smiled warmly at T'Sera who gave a small nod of her head.

" I thank you for you kind words Captain Kirk."

" Oh so you know my name already, cool. Please, call me Jim, I'm here on shore-leave after all."

T'Sera nodded,

" Very well Jim, I do not mean to be intrusive but may I ask how you managed to get the cub you are holding to interact with you?"

Jim was quick to explain.

" I just came to wash my hands in the pond when I saw him sitting by the water all by himself, so I just held my hand out to him and let him sniff me, but then this little smarty held out his paw for me to sniff back and when I did he practically jumped into my arms. Why, isn't that normal?"

" Not for this particular sehlat cub, because of his atypical fur and eye color, his mother rejected him as have the other sehlat cubs, and even though the keepers here have raised him thus far, he has not been particularly receptive to visitors. It is most surprising that he had come to you so willingly."

Jim was stunned into silence at what had just been revealed to him about the sehlat cub in his arms. For a creature so young to have already had such a harsh and lonely life, it made Jim think of a little blond boy back in Iowa who had grown up with a string of dead-beat step-fathers and a mother who would rather be off-planet than with her young son. It sent a phantom spike of pain through Jim entire being, but he quickly quashed it down and instead adjusted the cub so that he was cradling it much like a human baby and looked down at its sweet little teddy-bear face. The baby looked up at Jim with wide, adoring pale blue eyes and let out a soft trilling sound. Jim made his mind up right then and there.

" How much do you want for him?" He asked as he looked back up at Lady T'Sera.

Jim watched as a knowing look filled the Vulcan woman's eyes, and she was about to say something when another, familiar baritone voice rang out.

" Please do tell us the amount you require for the purchase of Jim's sehlat cub Lady T'Sera, for I will gladly pay the amount."

Jim, T'Sera, and the white sehlat cub all looked to see Spock standing a little to the side, most likely having heard the conversation between Jim and T'Sera. With his arms cross behind his back, Spock wordlessly made his way across the moss and came to stand beside Jim in a silent show of support.

" Spock what-" Jim began to ask softly when Spock gave a small gesture with his hand to Jim to wait as moment as he turned to T'Sera.

" I greet thee son of Sarek." T'Sera said as she held up her hand in the Vulcan gesture.

" And I greet thee in return Lady T'Sera." Spock replied while raising his own hand in reciprocation.

" Please pardon me for asking but, are you quite sure that this is the sehlat you wish to take as you companion?Lady T'Sera asked.

" Because Sehlats are not sold here, they are adopted into families much like Terran canines and felines." She added.

Spock looked to Jim and the Sehlat he was holding, eying them both with a veiled warmth in his dark eyes.

" I believe that it does not matter what I think, the sehlat has already chosen who he wants." Spock said with the barest hint of fondness.

" In addition Jim has always had a particular fondness for things that possess uniqueness." He added, watching as Jim's mouth fell open for a second before he closed it and looked away with his cheeks rapidly taken on a slight flush. Meanwhile the Sehlat cub in Jim's arms was now staring up at Spock with curious pale-blue eyes, interested for sure, but a little wary at the new person in the mix.

Lady T'Sera's eyes looked between the pair before she nodded.

" Very well, if you would all come with me we may begin filing the necessary paper work for the adoption."

With that T'Sera turned and started walking. Jim and Spock quickly followed after her and as they walked Jim immediately turned to Spock.

" Spock you don't have to do anything, I can pay any fees, I brought my cards with me." Jim insisted.

" Be that as it may, please allow me to do this for you." Spock replied.

" You trying to win points with me by buying me a baby sehlat." Jim asked with smirk as he stroked the baby sehlat's head.

" Of course not Jim, I do not need to bride you for your affections." Spock said with a completely straight face.

Jim barely stifled the belly laugh that rose up inside him, instead allowing himself a good chuckle at Spock obvious deflection. Through out this the baby sehlat in Jim's arms looked between the pair, an utterly perplexed look on its face, as if it were trying to figure out what the heck was so funny.

_About and hour later..._

Spock and Jim were seated in Sarek's hover car, driving away from Lady T'Sera's breeding facility.

Jim grinned wide and happy as he stared down at the small animal carrier he was holding in his lap. Within it was the white sehlat cub, curled up into a ball of white fluff, fast asleep against the soft lining inside the carrier. Everything had gone through without a hitch with the adoption, and now Jim was the proud owner of a unique white furred and blue eyed baby sehlat who he had named Khiori, which meant "Star" in Vulcan.

Now he, Spock, and little Khiori were heading back to Sarek's at the end of what really had turned out to be a very good day.


	32. Chapter 32

: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits from this so please don't sue me.

_.  
_

**Chapter 32**

_._

" Ow." Jim groaned as he pulled the hypo-spray away from the side of his neck where he had just administered his daily morning dose of Tri-ox compound so that he wouldn't end up completely overwhelmed by the near boiling temperatures of New Vulcan's desert atmosphere.

" I do believe that it would be of great convenience if someone were to invent a more painless method of administering an injection, for your sake at least Jim." Spock said from where he was sitting at the foot of Jim's bed, having watched his lover go through his dreaded morning ritual.

A soft, high-pitched bark followed Spock's words, and both had Jim turning around with a bright smile as he faced the Vulcan, and the white sehlat cub who was all but lounging on said Vulcan's lap.

" I'd have to agree with you both whole heartedly there." Jim chuckled as he rubbed at the sore spot on his neck before he stepped away from the table where he had put his hypo-spray kit and made his way over to where Spock was sitting with Khiori.

Jim's already bright grin brightened further when without any preamble Spock gently lifted Khiori from his lap and held the little sehlat cub out for Jim to take. Jim naturally took Khiori into his arms and held the baby sehlat to his chest. Spock smoothly rose to his feet as he observed little Khiori snuggle into Jim's embrace, a look of contentment on both his and Jim's faces.

" Shall we proceed to breakfast?" Spock asked quietly.

" Yeah, I'm starving, and we shouldn't keep your dad waiting." Jim said with a smile.

Spock nodded in turn before he and Jim, with Khiori in tow, all headed out of Jim's bedroom and then out of the guest quarters. The trio made quick work of getting across Sarek's house to the veranda were it had become somewhat customary for breakfast to take place. Jim and Spock reached the living room area and made their way across it to the door leading out to the veranda. Sarek was already out there waiting for them.

The moment he caught sight of Sarek, Khiori let out a happy and excited little bark as he started lightly wriggling in Jim's arms. With a chuckle of understanding Jim swiftly bent down and set Khiori on the ground, watching as the sehlat took off like a lighting bolt and happily barreled toward Sarek. Sarek was as blank faced as ever as he stepped forward to meet the baby sehlat running towards him, gracefully bending down so that he could deftly scoop up Khiori when the sehlat was within his reach. Jim and Spock glanced at each other, both silently acknowledging that Khiori had basically come to Sarek's house and had everyone from the maid that came in twice a week, all the way up to Sarek himself wrapped around his little sehlat paws.

Khiori happily trilled away as he feverishly nuzzled his little black-nosed snout against Sarek's cheek. Though Sarek remained as stoic as ever on the outside, Jim knew full well that Sarek was in his own silent way was enjoying the morning shower of affection from the little white sehlat cub he was holding.

It had truly amazed Jim how quickly Khiori had taken a shine to both Spock and Sarek, basically doing the same ritual he had done with Jim back at the breeding facility. It had taken Jim a great deal of will power not to laugh too hard when he had witnessed both Spock and Sarek gaining Khiori's acceptance by sniffing his outstretched little paw. That had been a mere week ago, and now Khiori was completely settled in with Jim, Spock, and Sarek.

Jim and Spock made their way over to join Sarek at the table just as the Vulcan elder set Khiori down on the stone floor once more so that the little cub could trot about their legs, furiously sniffing at everything in sight.

" Greetings father." Spock said.

" Good morning Sarek." Jim greeted as well with a smile.

" I greet you both this morning in turn." Sarek said with a small nod before he gestured to the table. " Come, let us partake in breakfast"

Jim and Spock both gave nods of whole-hearted approval as they stepped to the table and took their usual seat.

" Khiori, come here." Jim called to the baby sehlat who had wandered off almost to the far end of the veranda.

Khiori instantly stopped his sniffing about and turned in Jim's direction before he gave a high bark and barreled back towards the breakfast table. The little cub all but crashed into Jim's legs, earning a happy chuckle from the young man as he scooped up Khiori into his arms and gave him a firm squeeze.

" Who's a good boy?" Jim grinned into the soft fur of Khiori's neck, to which the sehlat gave a happy trill in response.

Spock and Sarek watched on in comfortable silence, each with eyes warmed at the sight of Jim, Captain of the flagship of the Federation and one of the saviors of Earth itself, happily nuzzling a snow-white baby sehlat.

Jim set Khiori back down on the stone floor and then took a small bowl from the table and filled it with freshly cut fruit from the spread. He then set the bowl down in front of Khiori with a smile.

" Bon a petit Buddy." He said.

Khior didn't need to be told twice and with a small yap, he set on the bowl of fruit Jim had given him with the very best.

" Such a voracious appetite for one so small." Sarek commented as he took some bread and fruit for himself.

" Indeed, and we were told by Lady T'Sera that Khiori belongs to one of the smaller sehlat breeds." Spock replied as he ladled some steamed vegetables onto his plate.

" Yeah, she said when he gets to adulthood, he's gonna be about the same size as a beagle back on Earth, which is actually pretty manageable for us when we get back to the ship." Jim said with a smile as he watched Khiori maneuvered his little walrus-like fangs against his bowl to get at the fruit Jim had given him.

At Jim's words, Spock paused in eating to look to the young man as he spoke.

" I take it you have spoken with command in regards to Khiori?" Spock asked with a knowing glint in his eyes.

" Talked to Chris Pike the day after we got Khiori, we can take him with us seeing as to how he's so small." Jim explained.

" I take it on good authority that you would have taken Khiori with you back to the ship regardless of having consent from command or not." Spock said, to which Jim ducked his head and grinned as he nodded in agreement.

" Most unsurprising." Sarek commented flatly as he took a sip of his morning tea.

The rest of breakfast went on with comfortable conversation about everything from the new building project Sarek and the rest of the council were discussing, to what Jim and Spock were going to do for the rest of their vacation of Vafer-Tor. Conversation did dissolve into hearty laughter for Jim at one point when Khiori managed to get a piece of fruit skewered on his left front fang, and then couldn't get it out no matter how hard he tried with his tiny sehlat paws.

Not a bad way to start the day.

A couple of hours later found Jim and Spock walking together outside behind Sarek's hilltop residence, where a large shadow had been cast by the house against the sun, making a little more manageable for Jim. It was still dry and near scorching though, but Jim had taken his tri-ox compound so he was fairly certain he could handle the heat. They had left Khiori with Sarek in the elder Vulcan's office. Jim and Spock's parting image of Khiori was of the little white cub happily rolling around on the oval-shaped floor rug Sarek kept in front of his work desk, chewing on the plush chew toy Jim had bought for him a few days earlier. Sarek had sat at his desk, nonchalantly sorting through papers, but now and then glancing at the baby sehlat that was in his company with slightly less severe eyes. Jim and Spock had wisely not commented on the absolutely adorable site, and had simply taken their leave of Sarek. Although Jim did chuckle lightly once he and Spock were outside.

Now the pair were walking in comfortable silence in the shade behind Sarek's house. It was Jim who broke the silence.

" Our baby sehlat's got your dad wrapped around his little paws." He said with a light laugh.

" I sincerely doubt that my father, for all of his Vulcan sensitivities, minds this in the least." Spock said with a completely straight face.

Jim stopped and stared at Spock for a moment, and then he blinked. Once he blinked the proverbial floodgate seemed to open as Jim threw his head back and laughed out-loud. From where he stood, Spock simply stared silently, while inwardly he rejoiced at having made Jim laugh. It was one of Spock's favorite ways for Jim to look, with his entire face bright and alive with joy and mirth. Over the course of their say of New Vulcan, Spock had secretly made it his duty to get Jim to laugh as often as he could, both for Jim's benefit, and yes, for his own desire to see Jim in such a way.

Jim was still laughing when he suddenly felt his face gently taken into a pair of warm and strong hands. The next thing Jim knew, his lips were taken into a deep kiss. Jim was only stunned for a moment before he smiled against Spock's lips and responded in kind, wrapping his arms around the Vulcan's waist, pulling Spock flush against him. The pair lost themselves in the kiss they were sharing, until the need for oxygen could not be ignored. They pulled apart with a light gasp, but they did not stray far from each other as Spock pressed his forehead to Jim's.

" Not that I mind or anything, but what was that for?" Jim asked, slightly breathless, but smiling.

" It was your laughter Jim, it garners such urges from me." Spock answered.

Jim's grin widened further.

" So if I start laughing while we're on the main bridge for whatever reason, you'll lay one on me?"

Spock raised a slanted eyebrow at Jim's tease before he spoke.

" Tempting as that sounds, rest assured that I will exercise my utmost restraint when we are on the main bridge however, once we go off-duty is a whole other matter entirely." Spock said, his baritone voice laced with a low rasp that had Jim feeling a thrill run up his spine.

With a slightly breathless laugh Jim tightened his hold around Spock and buried his face into the spot where the Vulcan's neck met his shoulder. Spock let his eyes flutter shut in absolute contentment as he pressed his cheek to Jim's golden hair. The two embraced each other so for what seemed like hours rather than seconds, and it was in the span of those seconds that something Spock had been thinking about for a very long time suddenly became his very foremost thought. Jim seemed to notice a shift a well as he felt Spock suddenly tense against him. Jim drew back so that he could look Spock in the eye as he spoke.

" Spock, what is it?" He asked as he saw barely veiled conflict marring his Vulcan's countenance.

Spock gazed into Jim imploring blue eyes and found himself coming to a decision right then and there as he spoke.

" I love you James Tiberius Kirk, will you do me the greatest honor and be my bond mate?"

There, he had said it and there was no turning back. No sooner had Spock's words died down, an all-consuming silence seemed to blanket everything around the pair. If New Vulcan had crickets, they probably would have been chirping. Jim stood there before Spock with his eyes wide as saucers and his jaw making good friends with the ground as he gaped at Spock. Spock for his part stood there wordlessly resigned to hear Jim's rejection at any moment. The stunned silence seemed to last for what seemed like hours instead of seconds before Jim blinked and snapped his jaw shut. The Jim blinked again before he finally spoke.

" Spock... um... Spock, did you just ask me to marry you?" He asked softly, as though he could scarcely believe it himself.

Spock blinked before he spoke.

" Yes Jim, I did." Spock replied.

" Oh my God Spock." Jim whispered in awe.

" Forgive me Jim if I have offended you, I will readily admit that I had not come out here with you with the intention of proposing marriage." Spock said before he reached out to gently cup Jim's cheek as he continued.

" But believe me when I say that you are the one whom I desire to bond with above all others."

There was a long, very long beat of silence after that, Jim and Spock staring a each other without saying a word. It was a stalemate that seemed not to have any end in sight, until Jim finally spoke.

" Spock, of course I'll marry you. It would be my honor to bond with you." He said softly, awe written across every line of his face.

" Y-You will?" Spock asked, stuttering for once in his life out of shock.

Spock watched as a grin slowly spread across Jim's face, the brightness of it literally putting the sun to shame.

" Why are you so surprised Spock?" Jim asked.

" I had not thought that you would be receptive to my proposal Jim." Spock answered, actually looking somewhat dazed where he stood.

" Spock, c'mere." Jim ordered as he held his hands out to Spock.

Spock wordlessly complied and stepped forward, letting Jim gently take his face into his hands. Still smiling Jim leaned up and pressed his lips to Spock's in a tender, chaste kiss. Spock couldn't help but melt into the kiss as he placed his hands on Jim's hips. When they drew back several moments later, they still remained closed as Jim spoke, his breath ghosting over Spock's parted lips.

" Why would you think I would say anything other than yes Spock?" He asked softly.

" After all that had transpired between us, I did not believe that you would want to spend the rest of your life with me after how I abandoned you when you needed me most. I may have asked you to bond with me, but by no means does it mean that I am in any way deserving of having you as my mate." Spock said softly, earnestly.

Jim felt something inside his wrench painfully at Spock's words, and with a shake of his head he gently pulled Spock's head down towards his own and pressed his forehead to the Vulcan's as he spoke.

" Damn it Spock, of course you're deserving." Jim said softly, but vehemently.

" But after all I did Jim-" Spock began when Jim cut him off.

" I know what you did Spock, you don't have to remind me of the Hell you and everyone else put me through." Jim said flatly before he drew away and stared at Spock with searing blue eyes that had the Vulcan fighting the strong urge to avert his gaze from. Jim's gaze did not lose its intensity as he continued.

" You already know that I have forgiven you for the mistakes you made, so when the Hell are you gonna forgive yourself so that we can move on?" Jim asked, anger and sadness both tinting his tone.

" I... I desire to move on as well, but it is as if my very Katra will not allow me to forget the part I played." Spock said quietly.

" Well you aren't supposed to forget what happened, what happened is gonna be there for the rest of our lives, what I want if for you to forgive yourself and move forward and realize that you've earned back your place with me." Jim said firmly.

Spock had to close his eyes for a moment as several powerful emotions suddenly rose up inside him at Jim's words. Chief among these many emotions was relief, relief at Jim's acceptance and confirmation the he had in fact earned his place back with Jim.

" Spock." Jim said quietly, waiting for the Vulcan to regain his composure and open his eyes again.

Spock slowly opened his eyes and met Jim's now softened gaze as the human spoke.

" I think that after all the crap we've been through together, that we've earned the right to be happy, don't you?" Jim asked, his voice wavering a little while his eyes grew over bright with the sheen of tears.

" I-Indeed Jim, I believe we have more than earned it." Spock agreed as he reached up and tenderly ran the tips of his long fingers over Jim's smiling lips before cupping his cheek.

" So we're doing this?" Jim asked with a watery laugh as he leaned into Spock's touch.

" Yes Jim, we are doing this, my Sa-kugalsu." Spock confirmed with his dark eyes openly smiling.

" What does that mean Spock?" Jim asked with a grin.

" It means 'intended' or 'fiancée' as it were." Spock explain with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Jim let out a happy laugh before he lunged forward and proceeded to kiss the very breath from Spock's lungs, to which the Vulcan had no complaints as he kissed Jim back. When they drew back several long moments later, Jim's soft and happy laughter rang through the air as he held on tight to Spock.

_A little while later..._

Sarek set down the data padd he had just finished going over and turned his head to the side to eye the small sofa he kept by the large arched window in his office, and the little ball of snow-white fluff that was currently curled up on it, fast asleep.

Khiori had played himself straight into a nap about ten minutes ago, much to the silent amusement of Sarek. Though he had not been opposed to having a Sehlat cub playing around in his office while he worked, Sarek was grateful for the silence of these last ten minutes that had allowed him to concentrate on his work.

Now that he had finished the most pressing items of in agenda for the day, Sarek rose from his seat behind his desk and gracefully made his way across his office to the sofa where Khiori was sleeping. With great gentleness Sarek reached out and picked up the sleeping sehlat cub. Khiori made a small mew of protest at being moved, but settled once Sarek cradled him in his arms. Sarek had it mind to take Khiori back to Jim and Spock's rooms and put the baby sehlat in his proper bed, but the arrival of Spock and Jim halted those intentions.

" Father we must speak with you." Spock said as he and Jim entered Sarek's office.

" Spock, James, what is it?" Sarek asked with all seriousness while he held a sleeping baby sehlat in his arms.

Spock and Jim looked at each other for a moment, a huge grin spreading across Jim's face as they turned back to Sarek.

" I had thought of several ways to tell you this, but I believe that the simplest way would be the best." Spock began before he reached out and took Jim's hand firmly in his own.

" My son what is going on?" Sarek asked as his eyes undoubtedly went to Jim and Spock's joined hands for a moment before he looked back up to meet his son's gaze.

" Father, while we were outside walking, I asked Jim to join with me in the sacred bonds of marriage." Spock answered before he turned his gaze to Jim and continued.

" He has accepted my proposal and agreed to be my bond mate."

Jim's already bright grin widened further before he and Spock turned their gazes back to Sarek who had fallen silent.

Spock's father was still standing in his office with a sleeping baby sehlat in his arms, and he was mutely staring at his son and the young man who he had just revealed to now be his intended mate.

" Sa-mekh?" Spock asked in concern.

" Sir, are you alright?" Jim asked

Sarek blinked very slowly at the pair before he took a deep breath and spoke.

" Spock, as your mother would often say in the figurative sense, are you and Jim pulling my leg?"

Before he could stop himself, Jim was throwing his head back and laughing out loud while Spock's ears turned a bright olive-green. Sarek continued stare, and through all of this, Khiori slept like well, he just slept on like the baby he was.


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Star Trek it is all property of Gene Roddenberry, J.J. Abrams, Paramount, and whoever else owns rights to the franchise. I am not making any profits off of this so please don't sue me.

Chapter 33

Jim let out a breathless laugh that was gently cut-off midway when a pair of warm and very welcome lips sealed themselves over his own. Jim's whole body seemed to sigh as he wrapped his arms around Spock and kissed the Vulcan back. If it were possible, Jim would not have minded to staying like this for the rest of the day, but seeing as to how Spock had interrupted him while he was about to undertake a particularly important task, Jim reluctantly broke the kiss after several long moments of indulgence and spoke, albeit with some difficulty since Spock had moved to nuzzling his neck. The pair were currently standing by the desk in Jim's room where the subspace communication terminal was situated.

" Hey, not that I... not that I mind in the least, but there are some very important subspace calls I gotta make Spock."

With great reluctance, Spock ceased his ministrations and drew back to meet his soon to be Bondmate's smiling, crystalline blue eyes as he spoke.

" So I take it you are informing Dr. McCoy about our decision to bond?"

" Yeah, him, Chris, and the others, I gotta see if any of them came make it to New Vulcan for the ceremony."

" That is logical, and in the off-chance that anyone whom you wish to be in attendance cannot travel to Vafer-Tor in time, I will see that perhaps some form of sub-space video conferencing can be established so that they can at least see our ceremony."

Jim felt his smile widen into a bright, full-blown grin at Spock's considerate gesture.

" Spock that would be perfect, thank you."

" You have no need to thank me, you're happiness on the day we are to be joined is what matters to me most of all."

Jim ducked his head for a moment as a felt his face heat up in both pleasure and slight embarrassment at Spock already devoted behavior. Jim looked back up to meet Spock warm dark eyes as he spoke.

" I love you." He said softly as he leaned in and pressed his forehead to Spock's.

" And I you Jim." Spock replied, his voice a low rumble that sent a thrill through Jim's whole body.

The pair stayed that way for a long moment before they reluctantly parted.

" I shall leave you to your subspace calling then Jim, and then we are to go and enjoy an afternoon meal with Elder Selik at his residence."

" Yeah, he's been pretty eager to have us over, especially now that he knows we're getting married." Jim said with a nod and a smile before Spock took his leave and he turned to the desk with the terminal.

Jim took his seat and pressed the necessary buttons to get his first subspace call to Earth out. Jim waited patiently for the person on the other end to answer his call, and sure enough after a small beep the screen on the terminal changed from a standard screen saver to the perpetually grumpy looking face of one Dr. Leonard McCoy. However, said grumpy look faded somewhat from the doctor's face when he caught sight of who it was that had called him.

" Good morning Bones." Jim said to his best friend with a bright grin.

" Hey Jim, glad to see ya' haven't gotten yourself baked by the Hobgoblin's new planet yet, have you been taking the tri-ox I gave you?" Bones asked, instantly going into doctor mode.

Jim let out a small huff of laughter as he spoke.

" I knew you were gonna start with the tri-ox, but to ease your mind, yes, I've been taking it and you'll be happy to know that Spock's been taking it upon himself to remind me to take the damn hypo." Jim said in mock annoyance before he let out a light laugh.

" Well, that's good, I got the hobgoblin on my side making sure you don't die of heatstroke. Where is Spock anyway?" Bones asked.

" He's probably out on the veranda with Khiori." Jim replied.

" Well, I again reiterate that I would love to see in person the little sehlat cub that's got your Vulcan wrapped around his paw." Bones said with a crooked smile.

To this Jim felt a grin spread across his face as he spoke.

" Well Bones, I can give you a reason for coming to Vafer-tor to meet Khiori personally."

A small frown of confusion marred Bones's face at Jim's words as he spoke.

" What do you mean by that Jim?" The good doctor asked.

Feeling equal parts nervous and excited, Jim took a small, steadying breath before he spoke.

" Well, I'm gonna need you to come to New Vulcan for me." He began.

" What's going on here Jim?" Bones asked warily. " Why would I ever need to come to that hot rock?"

" Well, I'm gonna need you to be my best man Bones." Jim said simply.

The second Jim said these words, he watched as his best friend's face became a picture of complete and total shock. Bones just gawked at his best friend and captain from where he was sitting in his apartment back in San Francisco. The stunned silence between Jim and Bones went on for what seemed like an hour before the doctor finally regained his ability to speak, and when he spoke, he said only one word.

" Explain."

And explain Jim did, from how he and Spock slowly but surely reconciled, and how the Vulcan had asked him to be his bondmate yesterday, to Sarek's hilarious reaction when they broke the news to him, and how they had all sat down and Jim and Spock had explained to Sarek that they were indeed not pulling his leg. After that Sarek had voiced his whole-hearted approval, albeit is a very dignified and Vulcan manner, although Jim and Spock had both seen that Sarek was, in his own quiet way, very pleased with this turn of events.

By the end of his explanation Jim and Bones were both laughing their heads off at the surprisingly humorous turn of events that had unfolded just the day before.

Once he had sobered somewhat, a now smiling Bones quirked his eye brow at Jim as he spoke.

" So, you're finally making honest men outta each other." He said good-naturedly.

" Yup, and it's been a long time coming. You know, he was actually going to ask me to bond with him earlier, but then... All the crap that happened." Jim said, going quiet for a moment as he remembered the not so happy events that had led him to where he was now.

Bones's face instantly saddened as he too remembered the Hell Jim had gone through, and the part that he himself had played, how badly he had let his best friend down.

Upon seeing this, Jim instantly brightened and spoke.

" Hey Bones, lose the long face, this is a happy call remember?"

Bones let out a small huff of laughter and let a truly happy smile spread across his face as he spoke.

" You are correct about that, and just for the sake of formality, Jim Kirk, of course I'll be your best man, it would be an honor." He said, meaning it to his very soul, but saying it with his usual gruffness.

And if Jim suddenly had something in his eye that made him blink rapidly, and Bones had that very same affliction, neither commented on it. After that, the conversation turned to the nuts and bolts of when Bones was to get to New Vulcan to attend the upcoming nuptials. By the time they were saying goodbye, Bones had given Jim his solemn promise to get onto the next available transport to New Vulcan that was available.

Once his conversation with Bones ended, and the older man had signed off of the sub-space terminal was a gruff but fond farewell, the next person Jim called was one Admiral Christopher Pike. Needless to say that Jim spent a good amount of time explaining his very recent engagement, and fast approaching wedding to his first officer to his predecessor. In addition, Jim spent a good deal of that time flushing in slight embarrassment as Chris good-naturedly teased him and said that he would be honored to attend the bonding ceremony that was set to happen within the next few days, not weeks.

After Jim was done speaking to Chris, who to Jim's utter delight assured him that he would be in attendance come time for the wedding, Jim then phoned up the rest of his senior staff, personally inviting Uhura, Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, and even Keenser to his wedding, and specifically charging Lt. Uhura as Communications Officer to inform the rest of the Enterprise crew of their Captain's upcoming marriage to his First Officer.

By the time Jim had finished calling his senior crew, and receiving congratulations and promises to get to New Vulcan, he found himself feeling like he now truly had something that he had never really had in his life.

A family that would be there for him on one of the most important days of his life, and it was a glorious feeling.

Which was why, Jim didn't even bother trying to send a subspace call out to one Lt. Cmdr. Winona Kirk who was currently stationed at Star-base 81 as a science officer in the Veridian star system. It most likely would not have been a happy conversation if he had. So, taking a moment to compose himself because he truly was touched by how happy everyone was for him and Spock, Jim let out a breathless, slightly watery laugh before he shook it all off and got up from the chair he was sitting in and walked out of his bedroom area within the guest room he shared with Spock.

With how he was feeling inside, Jim felt a strong and slightly embarrassing urge to skip down the hall, but instead Jim restrained himself to walking with a slight bounce in his step as he reached the living room area of Sarek's house and made his way across it to the glass door that led out to the veranda. The moment he stepped out into the late morning New Vulcan sun, Jim felt the smile that was already gracing his face grow into a happy grin at the sight that greeted him.

There standing by the railing that over-looked the desert landscape that surrounded Sarek's home was Spock, with his arms full of one very happy white sehlat cub, who was currently trying to nibble on the Vulcan's nose. Spock for his part, kept his expression blank in the signature Vulcan way, but his dark eyes were warm as he allowed Khiori's antics without complaint. It was an absolutely adorable thing to behold, to see Spock so unguarded. Not wanting to stand apart one second further, Jim made his way across the veranda to Spock and Khiori.

" Hey guys." He said with a smile as he came to stand beside Spock and reached out to scratch behind one of Khiori's velvety soft ears, earning a happy purr from the little white cub. While he petted Khiori, Jim leaned over and pressed a light kiss to Spock's lips. When they drew apart, Spock spoke.

" I take it that things went well with your communications?" He asked.

" Really well in fact, everyone's pretty happy with the news, expect some calls yourself, especially from Bones." Jim said with a chuckle.

" Am I safe to assume that the good Doctor will be calling to let me know that if I hurt you in any way before and after we are married, he will personally see to my punishment?" Spock asked.

" Yeah, safe to say he will. Leonard's a Southern gentlemen at heart after all." Jim said as he gently took Khiori from Spock and laughed lightly as he promptly had his face enthusiastically bathed in baby sehlat kisses.

Spock's eyes were smiling as he gazed at the interaction between Jim and Khiori, silently thankful that he had arranged to take Jim to the sehlat breeding facility that day, where they had met Khiori and claimed him as their own.

" Will Dr. McCoy and the others be able to attend?" Spock asked.

" You better believe it, I'm pretty sure if I had told them the wedding was tomorrow, they would have all found a way to get here." Jim grinned.

" That would be highly unlikely seeing as to how even at maximum warp, it would take approximately 2.1 days to reach Vafer-Tor and-" Spock's explanation of the impossibility of Jim's statement was cut off when Jim gently sealed his lips over the Vulcan's in a deep kiss, one that Spock had no problem reciprocating. When they drew away a few long moments later, Jim smiled widely as he spoke.

" There you go again taking things literally." He said softly.

" Indeed Jim." Spock replied, his voice a low rumble as he gracefully wrapped his arms around Jim and pulled him in close before he continued. " And I have it on good authority that it is one of the so called quirks about me that you are quite fond of."

" Yeah, you got me there." Jim chuckled as he wrapped one arm around Spock in turn, while he used the other to hold Khiori close to his chest. They embraced for a few moments before Jim broke the comfortable silence between them.

" Not that I wouldn't mind staying like this all day, but we have a lunch date with a certain eager Elder we need to get to."

" Indeed, we should not keep Elder Selik waiting, especially with the news we have to share with him." Spock said with a nod as he and Jim started walking across the veranda to the door that led back into the house.

They left Khiori with Sarek and took his leave before they headed out the front of the house to get to Sarek's hover car. A few moments later the pair were driving across the desert landscape, headed toward the main Metropolitan area of New Vulcan and from there, the small suburban neighborhood where Elder Selik's residence was located.

Jim was equal parts giddy with excitement, but also slightly nervous for reasons he could not quite explain. It wasn't like Elder Selik was going to disapprove of their decision to bond, but Jim just had this slight feeling of apprehension as he and Spock made a turn onto the street that the Elder's house was located on. As they cruised closer and closer to the Elder's house, Jim felt his heart starting to pound faster and harder inside his chest, the sound of blood rushing through his ears.

_" C'mon Jim, get a hold of yourself."_ Jim thought as Spock maneuvered the hover-car off the street and onto Elder Selik's driveway.

With one swift motion, Spock turned off the ignition and the hover car gently landed on the ground. Spock turned to Jim and spoke.

" Shall we Ashaya?"

Jim found himself smiling at Spock's term of endearment, meeting his soon to be bond-mate's dark, coffee-colored eyes and feeling the nervousness that had been plaguing him dissipate almost completely.

" Yeah, let's go, gotta give that old man a good reason to jump for joy."

" But Jim the Elder-" Spock began before Jim cut him off with a bright grin.

" Spock, you know full well what I mean."

" Indeed Jim."

With that the pair climbed out of the hover car and then made their way up the path that led to Elder Selik's front door. The walk itself seemed both infinitely long, and incredibly short, but inevitably, they were standing before the light gray colored arched door and Spock was reaching out to press the door-bell to announce their presence to the owner of the residence.

A few moments after Spock pressed the button, the gray door was sliding open with a soft hiss to reveal Elder Selik. The Elder Vulcan stood dressed in a simple Vulcan tunic with silver Vulcan runes embroidered along the hemline and the cuffs of the sleeves, paired with simple black slacked and dark grey slippers adorning his feet. Silently regal, and with a warm smile behind his weather amber eyes as he gazed on his visitors.

Feeling all of his nervousness disappear in that instant, both he and Spock, as though telepathically linked already, raised their hands in the traditional Vulcan greeting and spoke almost as one.

" Peace and long life Elder Selik" Spock said formally.

" Peace and long like Elder." Jim said with a warm smile, although he was fighting very hard not to just run to the elder Vulcan and throw his arms around him. Jim had the feeling that he would have ample opportunity to do that later.

" Live long and prosper my Young ones." Elder Selik said in return as he raised his own weathered hand before stepping aside, clearing the doorway. " Please do come in."

Jim and Spock did not need to be told twice as Jim stepped in first with Spock following right behind. The door shut behind them with a soft hiss as the three stepped further into Elder Selik's home.

" It is quite pleasing that you have both finally taken up my offer to join me in afternoon repast." Elder Selik said as they all took seats in the elder Vulcan's living room space.

" Indeed Elder, Jim and I were also eager to see you." Spock said neutrally, while Jim bit back the urge to grin like a loon an instead nodded his own agreement before he spoke.

" Like we wouldn't be?" He said with a smile.

Warmth danced behind Spock Prime's eyes as he gazed at his younger self, and the younger Jim Kirk. It warmed the elder Vulcan greatly that they had come to visit him.

There was a beat of silence before Spock Prime spoke.

" So, how have things been since last I saw you both?"

At this, Jim and Spock shared a subtle look before facing the expectant Elder. Things had been good, more than good, and a lot had happened. They may as well start with how they came to adopt a certain snow white baby sehlat.

Spock Prime was quite charmed with the story of how Jim and Spock had gone to the sehlat breeding facility, and had both bonded with Khiori in the way that they had, through the sniffing of paws. It charmed the elder even more when Jim and Spock told him of how Khiori had basically wrapped them and even Sarek himself around his little white paws.

" I look forward to meeting your Khiori in person when next I visit Sarek's home, before you're shore leave is at an end of course." Spock Prime said warmly as Jim smiled and Spock nodded in agreement.

" Well, you'll be meeting Khiori a lot sooner then you think." Jim said, feeling his heart starting to pound, but this time it was all out of excitement and not apprehension.

From where he sat beside Jim, Spock turned to meet the human's bright blue gaze and gave a nod of understanding before turning back to face his older self. It didn't take long for Elder Selik to realize that there was something going on, something important. With that in mind, Selik spoke.

" What do you mean Jim?" He asked.

Selik watched as a near blinding smile spread across Jim's face, lighting it up in a way that was truly breathtaking as the young man shifted closer to Spock and reached out, taking one of the Vulcan's hands firmly in his own. Spock in turn, gripped Jim's hand, seeming not at all bothered by the blatant showing of intimacy as they both faced Selik. It was Jim who finally spoke.

" You're gonna have to come help with the preparations." Jim said with a mischievous glint in his bright blue eyes.

Selik blinked owlishly before he spoke.

" What preparations do you speak of?" He asked.

Now it was Spock who spoke.

" There is a story to these preparations, but I shall be straight forward first. Elder, the preparations are for our upcoming nuptials, I have asked Jim to bond with me, and he has done me the great honor of saying yes."

After Spock said these words, there was complete and total silence. Selik sat across from his two guests with his face completely blank as he gazed back at Jim and Spock. As the seconds ticked by, Jim and Spock grew more and more concerned, until Jim could no longer just sit there. In one swift motion he was on his feet and across the living room to Selik's side.

" Elder, are you okay?" He asked as he knelt before the elder Vulcan.

Movement to his left had Jim looking in time to see his Spock coming to kneel on Selik's other side, his face almost visibly showing that he too was deeply concerned for the elder.

" Elder please, if we have offended-" Spock began to saw when a weathered hand gently cupped his cheek, effectively silencing him. Moments later Spock Prime was also cupping Jim's cheek with his other hand as he spoke.

" All the both of you have done is make this old Vulcan most happy and relieved."

Jim felt a wide grin spread across his face while Spock's eyes shone with his happiness as they both instinctively leaned into the Elder's warm touch.

" So does this mean you'll help with things?" Jim said with a cheeky glint in his bright blue eyes.

The next moment Jim was letting out a small yelp that quickly turned into a soft chuckle as Elder Selik gave his cheek a light pinch as he spoke.

" You know full well I would not miss it for anything." Elder Selik replied with the ghost of a smile across his face.

Spock for his part had to look down for a moment and swallow, his throat feeling slightly tight for some reason before he looked back up to meet his older self's weathered and knowing eyes that were now on him as he spoke.

" Thank you Elder, for everything." He said softly. The older Spock simply shook his head as he swiped his thumb light across the younger's cheekbone as he spoke.

" Anything for family." He said simply.

If Jim suddenly found himself blinking rapidly after hearing these words, well he would just say that it was New Vulcan's dry air irritating his eyes.

A few moments later the Jim, Spock, and Elder Selik were walking out of the living room to go and enjoy the lunch that was promised by the Elder outside in the backyard. It was a good meal, made all the better by Jim and Spock listening on happily as the Elder voiced his opinions regarding what should and should not happen at their bonding ceremony. In his own quiet way Elder Selik was quite enthusiastic during that whole conversation. The most poignant thing he said however, what that while it was good that they were sticking to tradition and following customs of a Vulcan bonding ceremony, they should still just be Jim and Spock and not be afraid to shake things up. This made Jim grin like a cheshire cat while Spock silently grew a bit nervous at that look, wondering just what kind of seeds the Elder has just planted in his soon to be bond-mate's brilliant mind. But a look from Elder Selik directed his way with a small quirk of a grey eyebrow had the cogs of Spock's own mind turning as well.

" Now young ones, let me tell you of the time when, I almost got married in my own universe." Elder Selik began.

" I shall begin by saying that it was by no means a calm and collected event as your impending nuptials will be, barring anything unforeseen. It all started while we were on the ship going about our daily business..."

By the time Elder Selik was done with his recount of how Pon Farr had struck him and he had almost battled his Jim to the death, and Dr. McCoy's quick thinking intervention that saved all of their hides, Jim was nearly breathless with laughter while Spock's face was so flushed that he very nearly resembled an Orion male. Elder Selik for his part was as calm and composed as ever, if with a bit of a satisfied gleam in his weathered eyes at the state he had reduced the younger version of himself and his beloved James T. Kirk to.

With Elder Selik promising to come to Sarek's house the next day to discuss the preparations for the impending bonding ceremony, Jim and Spock took their leave, albeit with some reluctance for they could have spent all day there listening to Elder Selik's epic tales. Still chuckling every now and then as he and Spock climbed into Sarek's hover car, the pair looked back and gave a final Vulcan salute to the Elder where he was standing at his front door and then they were driving off back to Sarek's house.

When they were safely back inside Sarek's house, Jim and Spock were walking down the hallway towards their shared room when Sarek appeared, seemingly out of nowhere.

" My son, James, how was you visit with Elder Selik?" Spock's father asked.

" It went very well Father, Elder Selik was most please when we informed him of our impending bonding." Spock replied.

" He may have also unofficially made himself the wedding planner, especially for the reception." Jim said with a grin.

" Well rest assured, any assistance the Elder is willing to provide, I shall welcome in the coming days. The ceremony is taking place in a weeks time after all." Sarek said simply.

It was then that both Spock and Jim noticed that Sarek was holding a neat little stack of rectangular data PADDs in his hand. Sarek seeming to notice this addressed the matter.

" Do forgive me if I am being too forward with you James, but I have taken the liberty of preparing some materials for you that will aid you in understanding what a Vulcan bonding ceremony entails, and since the usual sense of urgency is not involved between you and Spock, I believed these would be to your benefit." Sarek explained as he held out the PADDs to Jim. Jim took the offering with a smile and a nod as he spoke.

" Thank you Sarek, I will read through them thoroughly. We wouldn't want me offending anyone now would we?" Jim said with a self deprecating chuckle.

" Rest assured James, I have no doubt that you will only bring honor to our house on the day of the ceremony, for you have already proven yourself more than capable of such. These PADDs are simply a means of addition guidance." Sarek said with all seriousness but veiled warmth in his eyes are he watched Jim's face flush slightly at the unexpected praise he had just received, while Spock looked on approvingly.

" Thank you again Sarek, these...um...these will be very helpful." Jim said, finding his throat to be just a little tighter than was normal. As he gazed down at the PADDs he was holding. He noticed that they were a bit worn and with a scratch or two here or there. He looked back up when Sarek spoke.

" Indeed James, I am most certain that they will be helpful to you, just as they were many years prior when I prepared and presented them to She Who Was My Wife." Jim's soon to be father-in-law said, with the barest hint of an upward curve to the side of his normally neutral lips.

Jim felt his heart skip a beat as Sarek's words registered, and beside him Spock reached out and gently ran his fingertips over the surface of the topmost PADD in quiet reverence. Both Jim and Spock looked back up to meet Sarek's gaze with slightly wide eyes. There was a long silence, and in that silence there seemed to solidify a bond that may have been totally different from the one Jim and Spock were soon going to enter into within a week's time, but was by no means any less poignant.

The bond between a father and his _two_ sons.

* * *

Dear Readers,

I am so sorry it took me so long to update. Life has just been massively hectic with family events and issues happening left and right, massive writer's clock, and being a full time student on top of that. Please find it in you to forgive me, and know that I'm still here.

Thank you all.


End file.
